coaching of business leaders begins with assertiveness behavioral training The reason is simple if you don't manage people you can get work done. And ifyou cannot manage people unless you first manage your own behavior

1. A s s e r t i v e n e s s @ W o r k
DR WILFRED MONTEIRO
Master coach on assertiveness and behavioural training for business leaders
http://ceo-metacoach.blogspot.in/

2. Test Your Assertiveness (1 of 3)
 Can you express negative feelings about
other people and their behaviors without
using abusive language?
 Are you able to exercise and express your
strengths?
 Can you easily recognize and compliment
other people’s achievements?
 Can you express negative feelings about
other people and their behaviors without
using abusive language?
 Are you able to exercise and express your
strengths?
 Can you easily recognize and compliment
other people’s achievements?

3. Test Your Assertiveness (2 of 3)
 Do you have the confidence to ask for
what is rightfully yours?
 Can you accept criticism without being
defensive?
 Do you feel comfortable accepting
compliments?
 Are you able to stand up for your
rights?
 Do you have the confidence to ask for
what is rightfully yours?
 Can you accept criticism without being
defensive?
 Do you feel comfortable accepting
compliments?
 Are you able to stand up for your
rights?

4. Test Your Assertiveness (3 of 3)
 Are you able to refuse unreasonable
requests from friends, family, or co-
workers?
 Can you comfortably start and carry on a
conversation with others?
 Do you ask for assistance when you
need it ?
 Are you able to refuse unreasonable
requests from friends, family, or co-
workers?
 Can you comfortably start and carry on a
conversation with others?
 Do you ask for assistance when you
need it ?
A “yes” response to the questions
indicates an assertive approach.

5. Talk softly –
don’t stand
up for their
rights
Talk softly –
don’t stand
up for their
rights

6. Gives
‘vice-like’
handshakes
Gives
‘vice-like’
handshakes

7. ASSERTIVENESS
• Assertiveness is the ability
to communicate your needs,
feelings, opinions, and
beliefs in an open and
honest manner without
violating the rights of
others
• Assertiveness is the ability
to communicate your needs,
feelings, opinions, and
beliefs in an open and
honest manner without
violating the rights of
others

8. ASSERTIVENESS
1. IS NOT THE SAME AS AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR.
2. AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR ENHANCES SELF AT THE
EXPENSE OF OTHERS.
3. ASSERTIVENESS PRODUCES POSITIVE OUTCOMES FOR
ALL; AGGRESSIVE ACTS RESULT IN NEGATIVE
OUTCOMES.
1. IS NOT THE SAME AS AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR.
2. AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR ENHANCES SELF AT THE
EXPENSE OF OTHERS.
3. ASSERTIVENESS PRODUCES POSITIVE OUTCOMES FOR
ALL; AGGRESSIVE ACTS RESULT IN NEGATIVE
OUTCOMES.

9. WHAT WILL IT DO
1. HELPS YOU BECOME
SELF-CONFIDENT
2. INCREASES SELF-ESTEEM
3. GAIN RESPECT OF
OTHERS
4. IMPROVE
COMMUNICATION SKILLS
5. IMPROVE DECISION-
MAKING ABILITY
1. HELPS YOU BECOME
SELF-CONFIDENT
2. INCREASES SELF-ESTEEM
3. GAIN RESPECT OF
OTHERS
4. IMPROVE
COMMUNICATION SKILLS
5. IMPROVE DECISION-
MAKING ABILITY

10. UNDERSTANDING ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR
Mottoes and Beliefs
– Believes self and others are valuable
– Knowing that assertiveness doesn't mean you always win, but that you
handled the situation as effectively as possible
– "I have rights and so do others."
Communication Style
– Effective, active listener
– States limits, expectations
– States observations, no labels or judgments
– Expresses self directly, honestly, and as soon as possible about feelings
and wants
– Checks on others feelings
Mottoes and Beliefs
– Believes self and others are valuable
– Knowing that assertiveness doesn't mean you always win, but that you
handled the situation as effectively as possible
– "I have rights and so do others."
Communication Style
– Effective, active listener
– States limits, expectations
– States observations, no labels or judgments
– Expresses self directly, honestly, and as soon as possible about feelings
and wants
– Checks on others feelings

11. Characteristics
– Non-judgmental
– Observes behavior rather than labeling it
– Trusts self and others
– Confident
– Self-aware
– Open, flexible, versatile
– Playful, sense of humor
– Decisive
– Proactive, initiating
Behavior
– Operates from choice
– Knows what it is needed and develops a plan to get it
– Action-oriented
– Firm
– Realistic in her expectations
– Fair, just
– Consistent
– Takes appropriate action toward getting what she wants without denying rights of
others
Characteristics
– Non-judgmental
– Observes behavior rather than labeling it
– Trusts self and others
– Confident
– Self-aware
– Open, flexible, versatile
– Playful, sense of humor
– Decisive
– Proactive, initiating
Behavior
– Operates from choice
– Knows what it is needed and develops a plan to get it
– Action-oriented
– Firm
– Realistic in her expectations
– Fair, just
– Consistent
– Takes appropriate action toward getting what she wants without denying rights of
others

12. Nonverbal Cues
– Open, natural gestures
– Attentive, interested facial expression
– Direct eye contact
– Confident or relaxed posture
– Vocal volume appropriate, expressive
– Varied rate of speech
Verbal Cues
– "I choose to..."
– "What are my options?"
– "What alternatives do we have?"
Confrontation and Problem Solving
– Negotiates, bargains, trades off, compromises
– Confronts problems at the time they happen
– Doesn't let negative feelings build up
Nonverbal Cues
– Open, natural gestures
– Attentive, interested facial expression
– Direct eye contact
– Confident or relaxed posture
– Vocal volume appropriate, expressive
– Varied rate of speech
Verbal Cues
– "I choose to..."
– "What are my options?"
– "What alternatives do we have?"
Confrontation and Problem Solving
– Negotiates, bargains, trades off, compromises
– Confronts problems at the time they happen
– Doesn't let negative feelings build up

13. Feelings Felt
– Enthusiasm
– Well being
– Even tempered
Effects
– Increased self-esteem and self-confidence
– Increased self-esteem of others
– Feels motivated and understood
– Others know where they stand
Feelings Felt
– Enthusiasm
– Well being
– Even tempered
Effects
– Increased self-esteem and self-confidence
– Increased self-esteem of others
– Feels motivated and understood
– Others know where they stand

14. HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE
1. BE HONEST AND DIRECT ABOUT YOUR
FEELINGS, NEEDS, BELIEFS.
2. EXPRESS YOURSELF FIRMLY AND DIRECTLY
TO SPECIFIC INDIVIDUALS.
3. BE REASONABLE IN YOUR REQUESTS
1. BE HONEST AND DIRECT ABOUT YOUR
FEELINGS, NEEDS, BELIEFS.
2. EXPRESS YOURSELF FIRMLY AND DIRECTLY
TO SPECIFIC INDIVIDUALS.
3. BE REASONABLE IN YOUR REQUESTS

15. HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE
4. STATE YOUR VIEWPOINT WITHOUT BEING HESITANT OR
APOLOGETIC.
5. BE HONEST WHEN GIVING OR RECEIVING FEEDBACK.
6. LEARN TO SAY “NO” TO UNREASONABLE EXPECTATIONS.
7. PARAPHRASE WHAT OTHERS HAVE STATED TO YOU.
4. STATE YOUR VIEWPOINT WITHOUT BEING HESITANT OR
APOLOGETIC.
5. BE HONEST WHEN GIVING OR RECEIVING FEEDBACK.
6. LEARN TO SAY “NO” TO UNREASONABLE EXPECTATIONS.
7. PARAPHRASE WHAT OTHERS HAVE STATED TO YOU.

16. HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE
8. REGOGNIZE AND RESPECT THE RIGHTS OF THOSE
AROUND YOU.
9. USE APPROPRIATE TONE OF VOICE.
10. BE AWARE OF BODY POSTURE/LANGUAGE
11. MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT.
12. USE “I” STATEMENTS TO EXPRESS SELF
8. REGOGNIZE AND RESPECT THE RIGHTS OF THOSE
AROUND YOU.
9. USE APPROPRIATE TONE OF VOICE.
10. BE AWARE OF BODY POSTURE/LANGUAGE
11. MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT.
12. USE “I” STATEMENTS TO EXPRESS SELF

17. HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE
13. DON’T LET OTHERS
IMPOSE THEIR
VALUES/IDEAS ON YOU
14. ENCOURAGE OTHERS
TO BE CLEAR AND
DIRECT
15. TAKE OWNERSHIP
13. DON’T LET OTHERS
IMPOSE THEIR
VALUES/IDEAS ON YOU
14. ENCOURAGE OTHERS
TO BE CLEAR AND
DIRECT
15. TAKE OWNERSHIP

18. Dr WILFRED MONTEIRO
• is a nationally acclaimed stalwart in the field of
business management with an illustrious career
spanning over 25 years
• He is a consultant and advisor to Board of Directors
of leading companies & Chambers of Commerce;
• a management trainer of high repute who has
conducted over 1250 seminars in India and abroad
in areas of business strategy, marketing &
organization development.
• a Visiting Professor to premier management
institutes and staff training colleges throughout
India.
• is a nationally acclaimed stalwart in the field of
business management with an illustrious career
spanning over 25 years
• He is a consultant and advisor to Board of Directors
of leading companies & Chambers of Commerce;
• a management trainer of high repute who has
conducted over 1250 seminars in India and abroad
in areas of business strategy, marketing &
organization development.
• a Visiting Professor to premier management
institutes and staff training colleges throughout
India.
website: www.synergymanager.netwebsite: www.synergymanager.net

19. CONTACT US
Dr Wilfred Monteiro
TELE : 91 22 9819843927
EMAIL: wm@synergymanager.net
website:
www.synergymanager.net
SYNERGY MANAGEMENT ASSOCIATES
since 1993
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