2. As Project Managers …
You are the leaders of teams and customers into a positive future.
You provide safety and security.
You will find some practical and some philosophical ideas in my
pitch. You may ask questions at the end or in the chat. You can get
the deck.
It is up to you, if you want to deep dive or try out some ideas.
Or read a book. You may also contact me to discuss further.
In the global profession, in PMI, you find like-minded people with
similar problems – connect and help build the PM hive
Nobody knows what will be in a year (and never did)
- but we all can connect today in order to openly and fairly share
ideas for the next steps
You are the reason I speak here today
3. Workshop goal:
Open the door to improve your lifelong journey maturing into a humble leader
(or: Grow up!)
There is theory and exercises:
1. what is leadership, in general and for project managers
2. emotional intelligence (self awareness, emotional control, empathy, influencing)
3. role of values and ethics (integrity, probity and other characteristics of a leader,
ethical decision making)
4. next steps for you
4. Take a job
that you love
Where there is love
and inspiration, I
don’t think anything
can go wrong
The only way to do
great work is to
love what you do
5. 5
Responsibility, accountability
Respect, mindfulness, tolerance, diversity
Fairness, justice, equitable
Honesty, truth, integrity
Freedom, autonomy
Community, family, relatedness
Humility, reverence for life
8 human values found in most human cultures
Compassion, care, love, help
Know yourself and
watch others
Supports ethical
decision making
6. 6
Which of these values are important for you?
Go to menti.com and enter 5440 8734
7. What is leadership for you?
- Remember a good leader and what he/she did
- Which traits does a leader exhibit
- What feelings did you have
Go to menti.com and enter 5035 8025
8. Leadership: What is it? Many definitions! It can be Learned!
Leadership Styles (Likert, 1960)
§ Autocratic exploitative – positional power, coercive
§ Autocratic benevolent – reward & positional power
§ Consultative – reward power, punishment power
§ Participative - Democratic
Ten Commandments for Leaders: You shall …
1. be more concerned with your character than your reputation
2. be committed in all that you do
3. shall listen more than you speak
4. bring the best of who you are into everything you do
5. stand brave even in the face of fear
6. live by your convictions
7. focus with consistent
8. be clear in your leadership
9. seek knowledge and wisdom
10. Honor others and know their importance
Scott Dinsmore
(LiveYourLegend)
1. Become a self expert
2. Push your limits
3. Be with right people
Servant Leadership (Greenleaf, 1970)
• Empowering & developing people
• Humility
• Authenticity
• Interpersonal acceptance
• Providing direction
• Stewardship
(Considered best style for most PMs)
Values in PM - Ethics (PMI)
• Responsibility
• Respect
• Fairness
• Honesty
Leadership is intentional influencing (Grenny)
Aristotle: “He who cannot be a good follower cannot be a leader.”
Clausewitz: Leadership is absorption of insecurity.
10. Leadership is not Management, but you need both!
Leadership Principles
People focus
1. Purpose and inspiration
2. Values and judgement
3. Transparency and openness
4. Organization and community
5. Autonomy and trust
6. Customer view
10
Management Processes
Process focus
7. Rhythm and dynamics
8. Targets and followup
9. Plans and forecasts
10. Resource allocation
11. Evaluation and feedback
12. Success and rewards
https://bbrt.org/the-beyond-budgeting-principles/
11. Good Leadership is the base for success in war and projects
Sun Tzu, The art of war, about 500 B.C.
“Those who understand their war craft excellently first of all
observe humanity and justice and abide by the laws. This is how
they make their government (leadership) invulnerable.”
13. Human networks
Culture, Ethics
(Stakeholders)
Humanity and Justice
community
adherence = social emotions
(negative: guilt, shame,
positive: community, respect, fairness)
Perspectives of leadership
Influence
<< uncontrolled
>> controlled
gaps –
gossip,
corruption
filled from human network (often results in
bad politics, corruption, gossip..)
Project governance
Structure, Organization
Processes
Laws
command & control
adherence =
1. are laws fit for use
2. are laws observed - discipline
(emotion of responsibility)
team selection, stakeholder engagement, influencing,
project culture, emotions
14. Success requires to consider both human network and governance
Real People
fill roles
Management/Governance
Rationality - control
Leadership/Network
Humanism/Ethics - enable
15. Leadership 2.0: Bradbury/Greaves (2012)
Core Leadership (needed for all)
Adaptive Leadership (differentiators)
Emotional
Intelligence
Self awareness
Self management
Social awareness
(empathy)
Relationship
mgmt
(influence)
Organizational
justice
Decision fairness
Information sharing
Outcome concern
Development
Lifelong learning
Developing others
Character
Integrity
Credibility
Values differences
(diversity)
Strategy
Vision
Acumen
Planning
Courage to lead
Action
Decisiveness
Communication
Mobilizing others
Results
Risk taking
Results focus
Agility
16. Emotional Intelligence – a base for leadership
self awareness:
confidence, authenticity
self control:
mindfulness, resilience
empathy:
learning, understanding,
listen
organizational awareness
influence:
leadership, impact,
conflict handling,
negotiations
compassion:
self-motivation,
flow
observe act
me
you
Stakeholder Management
17. Self-Awareness: Leads to Self-Confidence, -Efficacy and -Esteem
Definitions
§ Confidence, but not hubris – trust in yourself and know your limits
§ Efficacy – trust in own specific skills, leads to expert power
§ Esteem (Belief in yourself)
Inhibitors, taboos – are often learned perceptions, be aware of them, reduce them
§ Fear: “a state of mind, regardless of
whether you should be afraid or not.”
How to improve
§ Think positively (glass is half full)
§ Base yourself on ethical values, e.g. respect, responsibility, honesty, fairness
§ Trust yourself (yes, we can)
§ Love your body and soul (Exercise, Run, Gym, Yoga, ..)
§ Seek a tribe or more (singing, church, soccer, PMI…)
§ Expose yourself publicly: speak, walk, get involved, volunteer, act outside the box
§ Take action: be decisive, take risk, fail, apologize, learn, discuss, improve
§ Build your skills, never stop learning: read – discuss – try out
§ Understand your fears and learn to remove or cope with them
How to approach others
§ First impression answers: Can I trust you? Do I respect you?
§ Eye Contact – expresses fears, shame, but also self-awareness and confidence, triggers Oxytocin
Eyes are the windows to the soul
§ Shame: “making us feel small,
flawed, and never good enough.”
www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame
www.ted.com/playlists/468/how_to_overcome_your_fears
18. Self-Awareness and Honesty leads to Authenticity and Integrity
Benefits of self awareness
• The ability to act consciously and proactively instead of reacting to people and events.
• The ability to genuinely accept yourself.
• Being authentically happy rather than pretending you are.
• Greater depth of experience and enjoyment of life.
• The ability to redirect your negative thoughts and emphasize positive ones.
• Enjoying positive interpersonal relationships.
• Being the real you.
• Living courageously and without limits.
• The ability to make your dreams come true.
• Be aware of your emotions and control your behavior.
Johari Window
Created by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham in
the 1950s as a model for mapping personality
awareness.
1. Self assessment
2. Assessment from others, e.g. 360 degree
analysis
A goal for Leaders is to become authentic:
Predictable, trustworthy, legitimate, public
Authenticity
Public self
Dishonesty
Hidden self
Surprise
Blind spot
Immaturity
Undiscovered
19. Self-Awareness, Empathy: Personality styles
Many models exist to assess yourself and others
§ Help to understand your own strengths, weaknesses,
habits, rites
§ Help to close the gap between self-image and the
perception of yourself by others
§ Makes you more self confident
§ Help to better understand others: active listening,
interpreting, empathy
§ Help to understand the fit to a team, and to assign roles
§ Help with interviews
4D team assessment (NASA)
DISC (4 styles)
MBTI (16 styles, Myers-Briggs)
True Colours / Hartmann
360 degree assessments
HUMM: 7 temperaments
blue Need to look good technically,
be right, and be respected.
They are strong leaders and
love challenges
red Need to have integrity and be
appreciated. They are focused
on quality and creating strong
relationships.
white Need to be accepted and
treated with kindness. They are
logical, objective, and tolerant
of others.
yellow Need to be noticed and have
fun. They love life, social
connections, and being positive
and spontaneous.
Herrmann Brain Dominance Instrument HBDI (GE)
Strength Deployment Inventory SDI
SDI: Blue-red-green
16PF questionaire (Cattell)
Big Five (Tupes and Christal)
20. Humm-Wadsworth model with 7 temperaments
1. Mover/Socializer – communicates, positive, talks quickly and often, smiles, comes late more often
and apologizes, casual, light colors, no tie, sneakers, funny accessories
emotion: communication
2. Politician – winning, power savvy, status, competition, comes late and does not apologize,
overdressed, dark colors, well dressed, strong handshake, direct eye contact
emotion: winning
3. Hustler/GoGetter – earn money quickly, show what you have, expensive watch, rings, gold, brand
savvy, colors red & gold , short term oriented
emotion: success
4. Artist – individuality, creative, colors black or fitting, amulets, casual but individual dress, beards
emotion: create
5. Double-Checker – safety, family, problems, sickness, lethargic, natural colors, big handbags
emotion: safety/security
6. Engineer – perfection, planning, structure, practical, technical accessoires, drive completion
emotion: finish
7. Normal/Regulator – driven by reason, orderly, not be exposed, follows rules
emotion: order
Most people exhibit 2-3 temperaments
Can be used to explore yourself, quickly understand others and teams
http://www.emotionalintelligencecourse.com/eq-components/
21. What HUMM personality type are you? Judge all of them on a scale 1-10 (1 no, 10 yes)
Most people have 2-3 dominant temperaments.
HUMM can be used to understand yourself better, try to get a quick first view of others, adapt
your approach to communicate, analyse a team’s composition.
7 temper-
aments
Mover Politician Hustler Artist Double
Checker
Engineer Normal
Typical
observations
Communicat
es, positive,
talks quickly
and often,
smiles,
comes late &
apologizes,
casual, light
colors, no tie,
sneakers,
funny
accessories,
Big network –
less friends,
joking,
entertains,
energetic,
laughs
winning,
power savvy,
status, in
competition,
comes late
and does not
apologize,
overdressed,
well dressed,
perceived as
expert, often
say ‘I’, need
recognition,
arrogant,
stubborn,
does not give
up, not
sensible, dark
colors
earn money
quickly, show
what you
have, flexible,
sees
opportunity,
empathic,
materialistic,
risk taker,
aware of
image,
dominant,
expensive
watch, rings,
gold, brand
aware, colors
red & gold
individuality,
creative,
colors black
or fitting,
amulets,
casual but
individual
dress, beards,
sensible,
idealistic, shy
away from
confrontation
Imagination
Visionary, be
different,
introvert
safety, family,
problems,
sickness,
lethargic,
natural
colors, big
handbags,
little messy,
introvert, not
shy, friendly,
take critics
personally,
slow decision
maker, risk
avoider
Task
oriented,
perfection,
optimizing,
love details,
focus,
planning,
structure,
practical,
technical
accessories,
outdated
clothing,
“German”
reason, not
be exposed,
follows and
appreciates
rules, orderly,
analytic, no
emotions,
not patient
with others,
formal, duty
1…10
(10 – full)
23. How to influence the Human Network
1. team selection –
select the right people to the org chart (temperaments beat skills)
downstream (team) and upstream (sponsor, steering committee)
2. focus on stakeholder engagement
identify, prepare, engage & monitor
3. understand how to influence individuals (emotions) -
be empathetic, build trust, know and use influencing strategies
4. establish a project culture –
beliefs, values, habits, signs, rites etc. to create sense of belonging
team building concept, team monitoring
5. use emotions, so get comfortable with them
develop emotional intelligence
6. be ethical, know and use the human values
for decision making
1:1
24. Self-Control: Neuroleadership and SCARF (David Rock).
Understand (and mitigate) automatic emotional reactions engrained in our brain
to observe/manage yourself and influence others
Flight (fear)
Attack
(aggression)
Minimize
danger
Maximize
Award
Fairness
Certainty
Autonomy
Relatedness
Status
Think
Limbic
System
Prefrontal
cortex
24
Trigger
https://youtu.be/5Wu33SdjeCs
start with posing
QUESTIONS
to yourself
25. Self-control, Influence: Neuroleadership – SCARF (by David Rock)
a tool to improve emotional intelligence
!"#"$%
&'("#)*"+
,$"-*-.+
/'0#"'1*'%%
2#)(*'%%
5 automatically triggered
emotions (David Rock)
!"#$
%&'"%(
!&$)"*
+'!"$+&$
,'-,./
)&,$#0"1
2&3"
3$&/")/"*
"43&5"$"*
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How humans feel if emotions are
triggered towards the emotion
negatively vs. positively
26. Fairness
Self-Control and Influence: In order to lead and influence, we have to
understand motivations that drive our own reactions and those of
others
- and try to smooth triggers that might result in emotions
Certainty
Autonomy
Relatedness
Status
26
27. Make
sense, tell a
story
Self-Control: Crucial Conversations (Grenny et al.)
Understand (and mitigate) automatic emotional reactions engrained in our brain
27
Trigger,
see & hear
judgement,
feeling
(re-)act
habit
experience
culture
learned
values
question to
yourself
perception
question to
triggerer
diversity curiosity
28. Empathy: what is it?
(Titchener 1909)
“I believe that empathy is the most essential
quality of civilization.” – Roger Ebert
Cognitive
Perspective taking (e.g. tolerance) – requires observation
Fantasy – requires imagination
Affective (emotional)
empathic concern >> sympathy, compassion (feel the pain)
personal distress: feel anger, injustice, guilt
Beware: Empathy can also be misused
– with manipulation, with reading others, with faking trustworthiness (narcissist mirroring)
>>>> Ethical standards are needed to use empathy for social and team benefit
You can learn and practice empathy:
• Focus on others: listen actively, eye contact, observe body language, smile, make contact
• Apply personality styles to understand others from different angles
• Accept (for the moment) strange behaviors and explore reasons, culture, values
• Challenge your pre-judices and discover commonalities (tolerance)
• Listen hard and open up (make yourself vulnerable = enable trust)
• Try another’s life - “Walk a mile in another man’s moccasins before you criticize him.”
• Inspire mass action and social change (teach, guide, lead)
• Develop ambitious imagination
Test your empathy level: many tests are on the web for free.
29. Empathy: Cultural Differences (Hofstede)
§ Power Distance (accept
hierarchy, emotional
dependence)
§ Individualism (’I’ or ‘we’)
§ Masculinity (competition-
vs group-oriented)
§ Uncertainty avoidance
(risk appetite)
§ Long Term Orientation
(enduring solutions, based
in history)
§ Indulgence (low level of
self-control)
https://www.hofstede-insights.com/
• differences show potential of misunderstanding, conflict
• benefit: awareness of differences, leading to respect, self-awareness
• benefit: understanding others, empathy
• next step: leverage diversity
• do not assume individuals to fit into stereotypes
30. Global cultural system – a model to understand others
(based on A World of Three Cultures: Honor, Achievement and Joy by Miguel E. Basáñez)
3 hyper
cultures
Achievement Joy Honor
Legal system,
historic context
Roman law, industrial Common/case law, post-
WWII
Islamic law, pre-
industrial
Typical behaviors Punctuality / efficiency,
rationality, job > family
Family / friendship,
learning, sense of
agency
Respect for tradition /
authority, patriarchy,
family > job
Key dominant
values
Hard work reward /
punishment (economic –
harmony vs mastery)
Trust / family (social –
autonomy vs
embeddedness)
Autonomy vs obedience
(political – hierarchy vs
egalitarism)
8 macro cultures Main religions Protestant, Judaism,
Confucianism
Catholicism, Buddhism Islam, Christian
orthodoxy, Hinduism
200 mezzo cultures Nationality Western Europe, US,
China, Japan, Sweden,
Norway
Latin America, European
Catholics, Italy, Spain
Islamic countries, India,
Zimbabwe, Pakistan
800 micro cultures Language Greece 19/100 Greece 13/100 Greece 83/100
32. Empathy, Influencing: Communication
Active Listening Techniques – no own statements made, just react
• Mirroring – repeat last words, maybe as a question – non-confrontational
• Paraphrasing – rephrase what you heard – clarification
what I am hearing is …..
• Emotional Labelling – express what you think the other feels
you seem to be frustrated ….
• Summarizing – restate the content of the last conversation, condensed, closes that
conversation (most effective negotiators use that to make progress)
we just discussed about … and concluded …, is that also your understanding?
• Pausing – using silence
• Minimal encouragers – short sounds, gestures to encourage dialogue and continuation
sure, yep, hmm
• I-messages – appealing as a peer, non-confrontational, in particular with emotions
I feel frustrated that we did not …
• Open ended questions – in order to understand the intent
I am sorry, I did not understand ….
• Avoid why questions – they sound like judgments
• Ask for confirmations (yes)
• Ask yes/yes questions – instead of ‘do you like it?’
which one do you like?
choose one technique
for 2 weeks
use it every day
take notes / reflect
(set a habit)
33. Leadership: How to learn to say no
Advice from Forbes, Lifehack and Seth Godin
• Take Time to consider the request
• Consider the consequences of saying
no – without fear
• Be polite but not nice
• Delay the decision
• Anticipate requests & block (pre-empt)
• Offer an alternative
• Say no in person
• Do not apologize
• Avoid details – the message is denial
• Do NOT undervalue yourself
• Ask for help with prioritizing and limiting
multitasking
Ask yourself:
• Can I do a good job if I take it on?
• Why do they want me to do it? Ask!
• Does it create a habit I do not want?
• Does it move me forward?
• Would I (and my mother) be proud?
• Does it benefit the people I care about?
• How does it fit to my OWN priorities?
Understand:
• I am the owner of my life and time
• Multitasking is bad for me and the task
• Emotions are bad decision makers
http://liveyourlegend.net/how-to-find-your-no/
try it!
34. Leadership: How to delegate
34
– Chose what to delegate (must be meaningful, large enough, not key competency)
– Describe the expected outcome
– How the task will be delegated, times for review, monitoring
– Pick best person: who (has skill, interest, time, needs challenge …)
– Understands benefits for this person – why: individually, for the team, for the environment
– Trust this person, understand he/she will make mistakes, be willing to suffer for these
– If asked, help: Give clear assignments, focus on outcome, not process, share risks
– Accept refusals (but not all)
– Delegate responsibility, set authority limits
– Be prepared to train/coach/help on their request (invest in skill transfer)
– Set completion date and follow-ups – but be patient
– Receive and review result, feedback positively & negatively, thank him/her
– Give credit publicly, written
– Handle & reject reverse delegation
(who’s got the monkey: hbr.org/1999/11/management-time-whos-got-the-monkey)
Start building the
talent to help you
try it!
35. Leadership: your next steps
• read some of the books and links
• try some of the techniques, and others
• create 2-3 habits in the next 2 weeks
• work on understanding the human values
• set your own goal to become a better person
• get a mentor
• extend your network
• use volunteering as a sandbox
Techniques shown
HUMM
SCARF
635
ACTIVE LISTENING
TEAM BUILDING
DELEGATION
PMI
https://vrms.pmi.org
SES
https://www.ses-bonn.de/en/about-us
LinkedIn.com
www.projectmanagement.com/discussions/
Good Leaders reply to requests
36. The books and some videos to watch
Why good leaders make you feel safe | Simon Sinek
https://youtu.be/lmyZMtPVodo
Living a social life makes you happier and healthier and live longer
https://www.ted.com/talks/robert_waldinger_what_makes_a_good_life_lessons_from_the_longest_study_on
_happiness
The Expert – about perspectives
https://youtu.be/BKorP55Aqvg
Why can’t you start now?
https://www.ted.com/talks/tim_urban_inside_the_mind_of_a_master_procrastinator
