Overcoming idolatry of people involves putting God first in our lives and relationships. The document discusses six common issues relating to idolizing people: low self-esteem, the need to belong, the need to be liked, the need to be in good standing, dealing with offenses and hurts, and pride and fear. It provides pointers on knowing our identity, acceptance, worth, and ability come from God, not people. Submitting to God's lordship means following Him above people and not allowing others to control us. Our relationships should be built around Jesus Christ rather than having Christ fit around our relationships.

1. OvercomingIdolatry: People
Scripture:Psalms118:8, Prov29:25
Introduction:The “InCrowd”
Main Idea:We are createdto worshipGodand not people,fearGodandnot fearman
Thesis:Since we are createdto worshipGodand are adoptedintohisfamily,we are tolive because on
God’sapproval,notto please men.
CommonIssuesrelatingtopeople:
1. Low self-esteem/Insecurity(Godshapedhole)
A. Control/Vengeance/Manipulation-The needtogetonesway
B. Neediness-The needtobe secure
C. Clinginess-The needtoholdontosomeone
D. AttentionDeficit-The needforvalidationfromothers
E. Narcissism-TheWorshipof Oneself
F. Rejection-The painof beingtoldno
G. Abuse/Bullying-The painof beinghurtbyothers
H. Pride/Timidity/Touchiness-The lackof confidence inGodandthe lackof boundariesasa
result
I. Self-Righteousness:The needtobe cool,studious,have ittogether,etc.
2. NeedtoBelong
A. We are createdfor community,butonlyGodcan bring us true acceptance andtrue love
B. Cliquesdoprovide apersonaplace to belongandto lookcool,but theycannotsatisfythe
God shapedhole.People were notmeanttocomplete us,buttocomplimentus.
C. We all want to be withthe cool kidsto feel goodaboutourselves.There are evensongsand
bookswrittenonthissubject.
D. We all wantto findour crewinorder to feel thatlove andacceptance.Maybe theywere not
givenlove fromtheirfamilysotheyare seekingitinothers.
E. We oftenwill doanythingtogetcertainpeople toapprove of us.Ourentire identityisbased
on howwe are connectedwithothers.NowonderJesussaidyoumustforsake all tofollow
me.We easilyallow otherstocontrol whatwe thinkand our decisions.Itsgoodto have
people,butnotforpeople tohave you.
3. Needtobe “Liked”or feel important
A. People desire tobe popularinorderto fitinwiththe crowd. Theywill take uphobbies,
interests,etcinordertoget validationfromothers.
B. People maydoanythingtoget attentionfromothers.Theydonotmeananythingmalicious.
Theyjustare dealingwithrejectionandself-esteemthe wrongway.Some people justwant
to put statusesonfacebookandtwittersothat otherscan like them.Theyare dependenton
whetherornot people likethemornot.

2. C. People mayhave beenrejectedsomuch,eveninagivenplace,thatthe rejectiontakesroot
inthem.Whensomeone givesthemanylove oranyattention,theylatchholdof itlike rats.
It couldbe any rejectionissue inthe past.
D. Some people will wanttobe ina higherclassthanothersinorder to feel important.Some
people maytreatothersverypoorlybecause theywanttobe in control or feel popular.
E. The Love of moneycomesinhere,since people whoare richtreatpoorpeople verybadly
because theyhave itall.
F. We wantpeople toacceptus, love us,andbe ourfriend.Some peoplewilldoanythingto
have friendsbecause noone seemstocare.The more theytry, the furtherwayit seems.
G. We tendto be our livesaroundthe approval of others.We allow otherstocontrol us,
intimidate us,sowe canbe intheirgoodgraces.Some people canjustgo to a closer
relationshipwithChristif theytrustGodoverpeople.
4. NeedtoBe inGood Standing
A. Everyone caresabouttheirreputation,how theyare seenwithothers.Thisiswhyteens
tendto not wantto be seenwiththeirparentsaroundtheirfriends.
B. No one wantsto be the social pariahwhere noone likesorcares about himor her.
C. Everyone wantsto be lovedforwhotheyare. Noone likestobe toldtheyare trouble ora
problem.
D. Some people likeme are conscientiousandwanttobe ingoodstandingwithothersanddo
the right thing.Whenwe messup,itmesseswithouridentity
E. It isgood to be ingood standingwithothers,butaslongas we donot base our
righteousnessinwhatwe do.
F. We judge othersbasedonwhatwe see outof themand doour bestto protect our
surroundings.
G. We try to improve ourselvessowe can measure upto others. We getso boggeddownso
much aboutour issuesbecause of other’srejection.
5. Offenses andHurts
A. Whenoffensescome,we tendtogetoffended andoffendothers.Itisa neverendingcycle.
B. Some of us have beenoffendedsomuch,we expectpeople towalkastrait line andnever
veerto the rightor to the left.Thisputstoomuch pressure onothers.
C. We can’t seemtogetin relationshipswithothersbecause we cannotdeal withpeople’s
problems.We cannotseemtotolerate anyissuespeoplehave.
D. We donot knowhowto love otherswhohave mistreatedus,andlearntolove others
despite ourmistakes.We tendtobe our worstcritic,so we tendto criticize andcondemn
others.
E. We donot realize thatwhenwe offendothers,we offendGod.We are to do anythingto
honorand serve others.
F. We donot realize thatwe matter,andnot justotherpeople.If people matter,thatincludes
us.Anyone whotriedtoabuse,manipulate orcontrol othershasmisledmanypeopleto
thinkthat theydonot matter.
6. Pride andFear
A. We tendto be afraidof communitydue torejection,hurts,bitterness,etc.We are to give
that overto God, butwe tendto holdonto it.

3. B. We tendto be superpickywhenitcomesto our friends,associations,whenwe needto love
and serve one another.Notfriendsbecause of post-tribrapture beliefs,come on.Itisgood
to choose friendscarefully,butnottothe extentthatwe alienate ourfriendships.
C. We tendto be boggeddownconcerningoursinand the sinsof othersand expectpeopleto
be perfect.Thisputsanotherweightonpeople anditcausesusto sinmore.OnlyGrace can
setone free to love andserve othersdespite theirsin.
D. We tendto rejectGod’swordand onlyrelyonwhat we want.It all seemstoboil downto
that.
E. We tendto be focusedonourselvesandnotaboutGod andothers.We fearrejectionandit
takessomeone whoknowsthatGodlovesthemtoaccept and deal withrejection.
F. We tendto wantto satisfyourdesiresandneedsinsteadof surrenderingthemtoGodand
livingforhim.Otherpeople caninfluenceusto,butwe tendtomake it about us.We donot
wantto accept responsibilityandblame.Thisisthe centerof conflicts.
G. We tendto fearman andlongfor theirapproval thatwe yieldtothat insteadof God.Jesus
saidthe fear of man isa snare (Prov29:25). We wantpeople tolike usandapprove of us
and we oftendothingsforfear of what othersthink.Some of usare justparanoidabout
whatothersthinkit consumesthem.People ispeople’sGod,anditcontrolshow theythink
and believe.Thisisthe idolatrythatneedstobe dismantled.
These six issuestendtoplague ourrelationshipswithGodandothers.We tendto put others andothers
before God,andthat is where we getintrouble. Here isanacrostic that will helpputthingsin
perspective andIwill give youpointersafterward:
JesusFirst
OthersSecond
You Last
(NotNever,orotherswill be never)
We are to keepthisinmindas we go about ourrelationshipwithGodandwithothers,we are to put
God firstby denyingourselvesandlivingtoglorifyhim.We are to keephiminfirstplace.Bydoingso,we
serve othersandlive toplease themfortheiredification.We donotletthemcontrol us, hurt us,etc but
we love themthe wayGod lovesus.We serve bothGod and othersaheadof ourselves.We are to love
our neighborasourselvessincewhenwe know how muchGodlovesus,we will naturallybe confidentin
hislove toshowthat to otherssince we belongtoChristand Christlivesinus.Thislife isaboutone man,
JesusChrist,andlivingtoplease andhonorhim.Whenwe trustin Christ,he livesthroughus.Ourself is
inChristso all our confidence,security,etcisbasedinJesusChrist.We matterbecause Christmatters
and he gave our livesforhim.We still have anidentityandsince otherpeoplematter,we matteraswell.
Here are some pointersonhowto overcome the fearof man andidolatry.
1. Knowyoursource of righteousnessandsecurity
A. Christbecame sinforus so that we may become the righteousnessof GodinChristJesus(2 Cor
5:21)
B. Our righteousnessisnotinwhatwe do, butIn God’slove forus Titus3:5

4. C. We can be secure inChristwhenwe denyour oldwayof livingandembrace God.Itis
submittingtohisLordshipandnot wantingtolive ourwayanymore.
D. KnowingGod’s righteousnessisapartfromthe law (Rom10:4), so whenwe messup,we are not
unrighteous.Itisbasedinthe sacrifice of hisson.Because of God’slove andgrace, we are
compelledtolive arighteouslife.Noone whoacceptedChristhaslaterregretted it.Ouridentity
isnot basedon howmuch we getit right,or how cool we are,but inJesusChrist(Col 3:3-4)
E. Receive God’sforgivenessif youhave notalready.
2. Knowingyoursource of acceptance,worthand ability
A. You are acceptedinthe beloved(Eph1:6).You are God’s son(Rom 8:11-14)
B. Your life ishidwithChrist.If Christisable,youare able (Phil 4:13, Mark 9:23).
C. You are worthyenoughforChristto die foryou!God has setthe value of man. All manis
equal inhiseyesandhe lovesthemall.
D. Our sindoesnotdetermine ourworth,the bloodof Jesusdoes(Heb10)
E. You do notneedto doanythingto be liked,draw attention,etc.JustworshipGodbybeing
whoGod made you to be,inthe image of JesusChrist.We are complete inChrist(Col 2:10),
and we have everythingwe needtolive aGodlylife.
F. We are not our own,we are Christ’s,sowe are to live forhim.We donot needa groupof
people tomake usfeel acceptedandloved.Jesusacceptsandlovesus,despite how we are
connectedwithothers.
G. Since we are able tolive a Godlylife andare accepted,walkitoutby livingaccordingtohis
word.His grace helpsuswhenwe yieldtohim.Godopposesthe proud,butgivesgrace to
the humble (1Pet5:5).
H. Release anyrejection,orfeelingsof feelingleftoutorwants (evil conscipence) toGod(Col
3:5). Stop tryingto fitinand be a part of the crowd. Love those wholove youandbe the
friendandservantthatChristwants youto be.
I. Stoptryingto be inthe “In Crowd” of people orpart of a certaincircle.Youare inwiththe
kingof kings,solive forhim,lovinghimandlovingothers. ItIsnotaboutyou,and it does
not matterwhoyou knowandwho isimportant,itmattersif youknow Jesusor Not.In the
church, everyone playsanimportantrole. Tryingtobe close withthe youthpastorfor
example doesnotmeetyourneedsof acceptance.Findpeopleinthe youthroomthatdo
love youand donot letany rejectionbotheryou.A lotof times,itisbecause we want
certainpeople toreallylike usacertainwayto fulfill ourdesires.LetGodtake care of your
relationships.
3. KnowingHisLordship
A. Since JesusisLord, we are to follow himabove people.Thismeanswe are tosubmittohis
truth overwhatanyone says(1 John 4:1-2). We are to not be controlledbyothers,butuse
self-controlbysubmittingtoGod andresistingthe devil.
B. We are to serve otherswithlove,butthere are boundaries.We are tolove othersas
ourselves,sowe are tobe goodstewardsof whatGod has givenus.Sometimes,we love
othersso muchthat we allow themto control us,we are miserable,andwe donotdo what
we knowisright.We do not have to be a “yes” manto everyone.Also,we shouldnotbe
aroundpeople whopushusout or downand treatus like we donotmatter. These people
are manipulatingyoutodo theirwill.BasicFormulaJames4:7:Submitto God,Resistthe
Devil.Make sure that youtake everythoughtcaptive tothe obedience of JesusChrist(2Cor

5. 10:4-5). Yes,God usespeople toencourage,instructandcorrect us,but we needtouse
discernmentinordertogrow spirituallyandbe safe fromthe enemiesattacks,nomatter
whatpeople say.If theyare in authorityandyou have toyield,thisiswhenyoucanhumbly
disobeythem (Acts5:39).Face the consequences,butknow thatit isgoodto sufferforthe
lord. God will honoryoufor itif you do itin love andnotdishonor.
C. People donottake the place of God inour lives.The HolySpiritleadsusintoall truth(John
16:13), accepts us,sealsus(Eph 4:30), and meetsourinnermostneeds.Itisnotgoodfor
man to be alone since maniscreatedfor relationships,butourrelationshipsare designedto
draw uscloserto God, not take the place of our relationshipwithGod.Itistrue,we need
God and people,notone orthe other,butJesusneedstobe the centerandhe needstobe
the Lord of our lives.Gal 1:10 saysthat if Paul chose to winthe approval of man, he would
not be the servantof Christ.Bothdo notmix.God’slove andgrace for us shouldpermeate
every relationshipwe have.True,othersdoprovide securityforus,butonlyChristisour
security.We serve others,have agoodtime withothers,andenjoyothersinorderto please
and worshipGod.God putspeople inourlivessowe wouldnotbe alone andwe can run our
race withendurance.Justdonotletpeople become yourGod.LetGod determine
everything,andjustlove andserve the people inyourlife.
D. If we needtobreakoff relationshipsbecause theyare takingawayfromour relationship
withGod,do so. BuildyourrelationshipsaroundJesusChrist,notJesusaroundyour
relationships.Doeverythingforthe gloryof God,not man.Do not live forthe approval or
praise of man. You will have yourrewardif youdo.Live forGod’s approval,evenwhen
othersdo notgive it.Learn to letJesusbe yourencouragementwhenothersdonotgive it.
Have faithin himand dowhat ittakesto glorifyGod.Do not worryabout those whoare not
inyour life.If youreallyhadtohave them, theywere notmeantto be.Give all yourdesires
to God, andjust enjoythe relationshipsyouhave.
E. Finally,have anopendoorpolicyforpeople.Forexample,if people wanttocome intoyour
life andtheybenefityourrelationshipwithGod,thenletthem.Butif theywantto
downgrade orleave,thenletthem.Love doesnotcontrol orbendpeople toyourwill.If
people donotwantto be friends,that’sokay.Noteveryone will be yourfriend,
acquaintance,lover,etc.Itisimportanttoknow that God lovesyouandhe will neverleave
you(Heb13:5). But rememberthatnoteveryone will loveyou,care aboutyou,be kindto
you,respectyou,love youromantically,etc.Thatisjustnot possible.Iusedtohave a need
for everyone tobe myfriendorbestfriendbecause Ididnotwantto be rejected.The real
problemwas,Ineededtobe accepted.Ifoundthat inJesusChristandhe has changedmy
worldforever.Iwasmad whenpeople offendedme andI waseasilyoffended.Itriedtoget
everyone tobe perfectwhentheycouldnotdosoand I was superneedyandclingy.WhenI
put myconfidence inthe Lord,God beganto dohis work.It isone day at a time.
The main ideaisthat we are createdtoworshipGod andserve people incommunity.Whenour
relationshipwithGodisright,our relationshipswithotherswill be.Whenwe fearGod,we will notfear
man.KeeponthrivinginChrist.