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Assertive skills
1. In this program, we shall be considering the following
things:
1.The importance of feelings in communication
2.How to deal with feelings
3.The importance of developing assertive skills
4.The development of self-confidence
2. “ Researchers have found that Emotional
intelligence is the best predictor of success in
life. In the corporate world, IQ gets you hired
but it is the EQ that gets you promoted.”
“deficient emotional skills may be the reason
why more than half of all marriages end in
divorce”
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N.Sudheer Kumar for Anurag Engineering
College
3. Dealing with feelings
1. Awareness and labeling
2.Taking action
3. Reporting your feelings
4.Feel it now, deal with it later
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N.Sudheer Kumar for Anurag Engineering
College
4. What if we do not deal with our
feelings?
1. The feelings built up inside us, cause stress, which
would lead further to psychosomatic diseases
2. Worse still, these stresses could turn into
resentment, and build up to such levels that they
come bursting out when we least expect it.
3. We may unknowingly express the ignored feelings in
the form of sarcastic statements , negative body
language or even indirect statements
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N.Sudheer Kumar for Anurag Engineering
College
5. Assertiveness
It is the ability to clearly communicate one’s opinions,
needs , wants, interests, feelings, etc. to another in a
non-defensive and non-threatening way.
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N.Sudheer Kumar for Anurag Engineering
College
6. What will Assertiveness do to
you
Develop your communication skills.
Allow you to feel confident
Increase your Self-Esteem.
Help you to gain the respect of others
Improve your decision making ability.
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N.Sudheer Kumar for Anurag Engineering
College
7. How to develop Assertive Skills
1. Being responsible for your behaviour.
2. Avoid being influenced
3. Be honest regarding compliments
4. Learn to say “No’
5. Use “I” and “We” statements instead of “You’
6. Use appropriate body language
7. Choose assertive words carefully
8. Avoid exaggerations
9. Ask for feedback
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N.Sudheer Kumar for Anurag Engineering
College
8. Self-Confidence.
Self-confidence primarily refers to us having a positive
and realistic perception of ourselves and our abilities.
A lack of self-confidence, on the other hand, is
characterized by: self- doubt, passivity,
submissiveness, over-conformity, isolation, sensitivity
to criticism, distrust, depression, and feelings of
inferiority and being unloved
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N.Sudheer Kumar for Anurag Engineering
College
9. factors that affect the
development of self -confidence
Experience: We often develop feelings of
inferiority and hopelessness through various
negative life experiences at home, school, on
the job, etc.
Loss of a family member or close friend
Dwelling unnecessarily on negative events
such as failures and disappointment, instead
of using the event as a learning experience
Judging or criticizing yourself and your
abilities too harshly
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N.Sudheer Kumar for Anurag Engineering
College
10. Evaluating the outcome of situations as
much worse than they really are
Experiencing too much pressure from your
parents and/or peers
Setting unrealistic goals.
Fear of failure
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N.Sudheer Kumar for Anurag Engineering
College
11. Strategies for developing Self-
confidence
1. Set goals that are realistic and will meet your
expectations
2. Think positively about yourself.
3. Reward/praise yourself when you have done well.
4. Whenever something upsetting or disappointing occurs,
be aware of your thoughts. Think logically about the
situation instead of reacting merely on the basis of your
emotions
5. Dwell on your strengths not on your weaknesses.
6. Realize that there are certain things that you are more
adept and competent in than others, and that it is
impossible to expect perfection in every aspect of your
life
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N.Sudheer Kumar for Anurag Engineering
College
12. Cont..
7. Do not attribute your achievement s and
accomplishments only to luck. Instead, give yourself
credit for your own personal achievements.
8. Learn to be assertive
9. Make a list of what you feel are the major problems in
your life. Then list ways to improve or change them
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N.Sudheer Kumar for Anurag Engineering
College