The skill is.... Active Listening. Understand what it is and how to practice it.

1. THE SINGLE MOST-
IMPORTANT SKILL EVERY
AGILIST NEEDS
Agile and Beyond 2016
Susan K DiFabio
skdifabio@gmail.com
@skdifabio

2. Have you ever been…
 a change agent?
 asked to coach a team?
 new to a group?
 recipient of feedback?
 in conflict?
 asked to create a solution?
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3. Congratulations!
You’ve had
an opportunity
to use
active listening
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4. An
opportunity
that is often
missed!
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5. WHAT IS ACTIVE
LISTENING?
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6. Hidden
Intake
Meaning
Significance
Response
Intake
Meaning
Significance
Response
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Satir Interaction Model

7. Behavior that fosters…
Accurate, thorough message receipt
Confirmed, shared understanding
Continued communication
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8. Behavior that conveys your…
Authenticity
Acceptance
Appreciation
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9. REFLECTIVE LISTENING
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10. Same words
Same meaning
Inference
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11. © 2015 Susan DiFabio skdifabio@gmail.com 11
This infrastructure scares me to death
So… the
infrastructure
scares you to
death…
Hmm… the
infrastructure
frightens you… So… you feel
like this
infrastructure
is a house of
cards

12. Tentative, Clarifying, Confirming
Would this be
an
example?...
Let me
recap…
Did I get that
right?
It sounds like
your thinking
was…
Thank-you
for…
What I think I
heard was …
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13. “You should/shouldn’t…”
“I know exactly how you feel…”
“Ain’t it awful…”
Your similar story
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14. Get comfortable with silence…
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15. PRACTICE
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16. Same Words,
Same Meaning,
Or Inference?
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Mark doesn’t have a clue about
technology; he is totally
unqualified for the PO role
Hmm… Mark is clueless about technology…
I see… you think Mark is unqualified as the PO…
Ahh… Mark’s lack of skill makes it impossible for
him to be effective in the PO role…
So.. You’re stuck working with an ineffective PO;
You must be really frustrated….
I know what you mean; my PO doesn’t have a
clue either.
Maybe you could find him a different job.
So… being technical is a pre-requisite for the PO
role?

17. EXPLORATORY
LISTENING
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18. Context
History
Motivation
Intent
Aspirations
Emergent ideas
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19. Questions
• Clarifying
• Open/Closed
• Curious/Leading
• Inquiry/Inquisition
• Powerful
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20. Curious, Clarifying, Non-Judgemental
Can you give
me an
example?
And then
what
happened?
What else?
Tell me more
about…
I’m curious…
<non judgmental
question>
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22
Thank you

21. “Why?”
Sarcasm
Blame
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22. You don’t need to agree, you do
need to understand
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23. PRACTICE
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24. Let’s Practice
• Triads – talker, listener, observer
• Talker, start the conversation
– Issue, frustration, dilemma,…
• Observe listener’s
– Reflective responses
– Exploratory responses
• Debrief
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25. Debrief
• How did you feel?
• What did you notice?
• What surprised you?
• What patterns emerged?
• What would you like to try?
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26. FORMING NEW HABITS
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27. It’s Difficult
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• Reptile brain
• Corporate Culture
– Efficiency
– Prove-your-worth
– Hierarchy

28. Intentional Practice
Coaching dojo
Team mantra
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29. Re-Frame
Judgment  Curiosity
Advocacy  Common ground
Win-Lose  Yes, And
Solutions now  Solve the right problem
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30. BENEFITS
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31. Active Listening
Trust
New insights
Collaboration
“Yes, and” results
It’s good for business!
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32. http://skdifabio.com
SKDiFabio@gmail.com
@SKDiFabio
www.linkedin.com/in/SusanDiFabio
Thank You
Susan DiFabio
34© 2015 Susan DiFabio skdifabio@gmail.com