See speaker notes (in separate tab next to comments) for more than just the pictures.
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Any team required to create, innovate or change needs its members to be willing to show their vulnerability. That requires courage. And it requires trust. The trust that showing your vulnerability is safe to do.
Lack of trust is not always recognized for what it is because trusting people gets confounded with trusting people not to harm you physically. But lack of trust within and between teams shows itself in easily recognizable behavior.
To address trust issues, teams need a way to talk about trust without sending everyone straight into the trenches.
BRAVING is an acronym that will help you talk about trust issues. It can also be used to assess trustworthiness. That of others and your own. Including your trustworthiness towards yourself.
5. Marjan Venema, @cabriodriver, marjan@softwareonastring.com
Vulnerability is the birthplace of
innovation, creativity and change.
-Brené Brown
-Ernst Weerstra
Vulnerability is a Leadership Quality
12. BRAVING
Marjan Venema, @cabriodriver, marjan@softwareonastring.com
Boundaries
You respect my boundaries, and when you’re not
clear about what’s okay and not okay, you ask.
You’re willing to say no.
Accountability
You own your mistakes, apologize, and make
amends.
Integrity
You choose courage over comfort. You choose
what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy. And
you choose to practice your values rather than
simply professing them.
Reliability
You do what you say you’ll do. At work, this
means staying aware of your competencies and
limitations so you don’t overpromise and are able
to deliver on commitments and balance
competing priorities.
Vault
You don’t share information or experiences that
are not yours to share. I need to know that my
confidences are kept, and that you’re not sharing
with me any information about other people that
should be confidential.
Non-judgment
I can ask for what I need, and you can ask for
what you need. We can talk about how we feel
without judgment.
Generosity
You extend the most generous interpretation
possible to the intentions, words, and actions of
others.
Brené Brown
Hinweis der Redaktion
Taiko drummers
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Two dogs
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Which one do you trust more?
Personally, I trust both.
Car on mountain road
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People you trust at the office may not be who you’d want behind the wheel here.
People you’d like behind the wheel here, you may not trust in any other situation.
Trust issues
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Trust in the office is seldom about physical safety. It is about emotional safety.
Vulnerability
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If we want innovation, creativity and change, we can’t do without people willing to be vulnerable.
Willingness to be vulnerable, takes courage.
Cat in front of dogs
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More courage than many people are willing or able to muster.
Keeping up appearances
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Lacking that courage, people become like Hyacinth. Or the rest of the Keeping up Appearances cast that have adjusted their behavior and allow Hyacinth to persist in her behavior.
If you recognize any behavior of the Keeping up Appearance's cast in your team, you can be sure that there are trust issues at play.
World War I Trench
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Talking about trust is a challenge. Any wrong move and you are straight into trench warfare.
Braveheart
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To talk about trust issues, use the BRAVING acronym (coined by Brené Brown)
Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Non-judgment, Generosity of spirit
Boundaries - We say what is ok and what is not okay; when uncertain, we ask
Reliability - we do what we say we'll do and we don't chew off more than we can handle
Accountability - we own our mistakes, apologize and make amends
Vault - we don't share what't not ours to share
Integrity - courage over comfort, what is right over what is fun, fast or easy; we practice our values, we don't just profess them
Non-judgment - we can ask for what we need without judgment from others
Generosity - we interpret eachoter's intentions, words and actions as generously as possible
Any trust issue stems from your own or someone else’s failure in one or more of these.
Marbles
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Trust isn’t all or nothing, and it isn’t gained or lost in one fell swoop.
Trust is grown and lost with every small decision and action you take and observe in others.
Actions speak louder than words.
Rottweiler
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I may not be safe with this Rottweiler – depending on who is holding her lead, but I do trust her.
She embodies BRAVING.
- She sets boundaries and communicates them clearly
- She will absolutely do what she is telling you she'll do and she doesn't take on more than she can handle
- Every dog apologizes and makes amends when they mess up (we humans may not see it because it is ultra-quick body language, but they really do)
- Should she be aware of my bedroom secrets, she will not tell anyone about them
- She sticks to her values of protecting her family and her turf even when it gets difficult and it puts her in danger
- She doesn't judge anybody
- She doesn’t care about your words or intentions, only about your actions.
BRAVING
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The anatomy of trust as defined by Brené Brown.