7. Marriage Week International
RELATIONSHIPs in Marriage

8. MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP
1 Cor 7:1-10 (Message Bible)
7 Now, getting down to the questions you asked in
your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have
sexual relations?
2 Certainly — but only within a certain context. It's
good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to
have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but
marriage is strong enough to contain them and
provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a
world of sexual disorder. 3 The marriage bed must be
a place of mutuality — the husband seeking to satisfy
his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband.

9. 1 Cor 7:1-10 (Message Bible)
4 Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your
rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other,
whether in bed or out. 5 Abstaining from sex is
permissible for a period of time if you both agree to
it, and if it's for the purposes of prayer and fasting —
but only for such times. Then come back together
again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us
when we least expect it. 6 I'm not, understand,
commanding these periods of abstinence — only
providing my best counsel if you should choose
them.

10. 7 Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me — a
simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for
everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the
gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married
life to others.
8 I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that
singleness might well be the best thing for them, as
it has been for me. 9 But if they can't manage their
desires and emotions, they should by all means go
ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage
are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a
single.
10 And if you are married, stay married. This is the
Master's command, not mine.

11. Intro on 1 Corinthians
Chps 1-6 Teaching : Paul had been dealing with sins
reportedly in the Corinthian church.
Chps 7-16 Application : Dealing with questions &
situations – “Now about…”; “Concerning”
Marriage (7:1… )
Singleness (7:25..)
Food offered to idols (8:1….)
Spiritual Gifts (12:1..)
Resurrection of the dead (15:1…) &
Offering for the Jews (16:1…)

12. Intro on 1 Corinthians
Reading 1 Corinthians 7, please
keep in mind
The city of Corinth
• Temple of Aphrodite (Venus) :
Noted for Immorality …
Temple prostitutes …
• Greek concept : that
Body/Flesh is “evil”
• Time of persecution for the
Christians (v. 26).

13. Intro on 1 Corinthians
Corinthian Christians in the midst :
“Adoption” : It’s all OK (Chps 5 & 6)
“Reaction” : Abstinence (Chps 7)
• 1 Cor 7 - Paul is replying to definite
questions, social situations & circumstances
• It is NOT A COMPLETE "theology of
marriage" in one chapter
• Need to consider what the rest of the Bible
has to say about this important subject

14. Special Mention 1 : 1 Cor 7:1
V1 : Now for the matters you wrote about: It is
good for a man not to marry….
V7 : I wish that all men were as I am…
V8 : It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I
am….
Is Paul saying all to remain “single” & “not
marry” ? advocating “celibacy” for all ?
Paul’s personal situation & circumstances …
Consider Paul’s other letters …
Eph, Col, Timothy, Titus …

16. 1. PRACTICE of Marriage
V2 It's GOOD for a man to have a wife,
and for a woman to have a husband.
1. Marriage is GOOD.
 Instituted by God
 Part of God’s Divine Plan
 Marriage relationships part
of the Mosaic Law
 Basis for society & community

17. 1. PRACTICE of Marriage
V2 It's good for A man to have A wife,
and for A woman to have A husband.
2. Marriage is MONOGAMOUS
 A man – A wife
A woman – A husband
 Gen 2:24 & Matt 19:5 :
Two become One…
 God’s original design …

18. 1. PRACTICE of Marriage
V2 It's good for a MAN to have a
WIFE, and for a WOMAN to have a
HUSBAND.
3. Marriage is HETEROSEXUAL
 God made MAN (Gen 2:7)
 Not good for man to be alone
(Gen 2:18)
 God then made WOMAN as a
“helper” (Gen 2:22)

19. 1. PRACTICE of Marriage
V2 It's good for a MAN to have a WIFE,
and for a WOMAN to have a HUSBAND.
3. Marriage is HETEROSEXUAL
 God’s Word is very clear –
OT: Lev 18:22, Deut 23:17,
NT: Rom 1, 1 Cor 6 …
 Homosexual relationship is not &
never part of God’s Design and Plan …
 The Church however need to help, not
just to judge & condemn…

20. 1. PRACTICE of Marriage
1. Marriage is GOOD
2. Marriage is MONOGAMOUS
3. Marriage is
HETEROSEXUAL
This is God’s Plan & Design

21. 2. Principles of Marriage
V3 The marriage bed must be a place of
MUTUALITY..
a. MUTUAL SATISFACTION
 Marriage is not about I, Me and Mine !
 Marriage is about …
Considering our spouse in all things …
Considering our spouse at all times
Satisfying the needs of our spouse …
 BUT do we know how to “satisfy”?
 Do we even know what are
the needs of our spouse ??

22. Love Language : Our primary way of
expressing and interpreting love.
Do you know what’s your ‘Love Language’?
What’s your Spouse’s ‘Love Language’?
“For whatever reason, people are
usually drawn to those
who have a different
love language than
their own!”
2. Principles of Marriage
a. Mutual Satisfaction

23. The 5 Lve Languages …
Words Of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts Of Service
Physical Touch

24. Practical Exercise : (Weekly Bulletin)
My Response to :
Set 1 ( ) Set 2 ( ) Set 3 ( )
My LOVE LANGUAGE is :
_______________________________
(If Applicable) My Spouse/Mate :
Set 1 ( ) Set 2 ( ) Set 3 ( )
Conclusion : _________________________

25. WHAT’S YOUR / LOVE LANGUAGE?
Choose the ONE STATEMENT you (your spouse)
PREFER from each of the 3 sets of examples below.
SET 1
A. My spouse’s love notes make me feel good
B. I love to be alone with him/her
C. Receiving special gifts from him/her makes me
happy.
D. I feel loved when he/she helps me with my
work.
E. I love his/her hugs

26. WHAT’S YOUR / LOVE LANGUAGE?
SET 2:
A. I like it when he/she tells me I look good.
B. I enjoy long trips with my spouse.
C. I look forward to seeing what he’ll/she’ll
give me for my birthday.
D. I feel loved when he/she does the laundry
E. I love holding his/her hand.

27. WHAT’S YOUR / LOVE LANGUAGE?
SET 3:
A. His/Her reactions to my achievements are
so encouraging.
B. I love having his/her full attention.
C. I know he/she really loves me when he/she
surprises me with gifts.
D. It means a lot to me when he/she helps me
with something I know he/she hates.
E. I love it when he/she sits close to me.

28. If you chose mostly ….
A’s: your love language is words of affirmation
B’s: your love language is quality time
C’s: your love language is receiving gifts
D’s: your love language is acts of service
E’s: your love language is physical touch
Why is this important ?
WHAT’S YOUR / LOVE LANGUAGE?

29. Love Communication Action To Do To Avoid..
Language
Words of Compliments Send Notes Criticism,
Affirmation Kind Words or Cards “Put-Downs”
Quality 1-1 Time Long walks, Long periods
Time Together Do things.. apart..
Receiving +ve, fact- Gifts-special / Forgetting
Gifts orientated… spontanous special days!
Acts of ‘I can’, ‘I will’, Help with Only helping
Service ‘What else..’ chores others!
Physical Holding Physical
Non-Verbal,
Touch hands, Hugs neglect

30. The Bible Is RIGHT !
“MARRIAGE DURABILITY INDEX”
• couples who last : ‘Putdown index’ 5/100
• couples who separate: ‘Putdown index’ 10/100
and gets worse with time…
5X+ cruel & negative comments at each other
"Hostile putdowns act as cancerous cells that, if
unchecked, erode the relationship over time,“
Is it not written in Prov 18:21….
“The tongue has the power
of life and death,…”

31. 2. Principles of Marriage
V4 Marriage is not a place to "stand up
for your rights."
2. MUTUAL SUBMISSION
 No place to “lord it” over our
spouse
 A conscious decision to
“submit” to our spouse
 Exercising meekness in the
marriage relationship

32. 2. Principles of Marriage : b. Mutual Submission
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is
the head of the church, his body, of which he is
the Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives
should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the
church and gave himself up for her…

33. 2. Principles of Marriage
V 4 “Marriage is a decision
to serve the other,…”
3. MUTUAL SERVICE
Consider Jesus…
Mark 10:43-45
John 13:13-16
Phil 2:5-8

34. 2. Principles of Marriage
c. Mutual Service

35. 2. Principles of Marriage : c. Mutual Service
US Magazine made a survey on -
What is VERY IMPORTANT in a Marriage :
1. Communication 90%
2. Mutual Respect 82%
3. Doing things as a Couple 58%
4. Sex 32%
The survey also showed that those
who grew up with parents who
were happily married were more
likely to be happily married
themselves.

36. 2. Principles of Marriage
Mutual Satisfaction ….
Mutual Submission ….
Mutual Service ….
When you say “I DO” you have made …
A COMMITMENT
“We are NOT committed to
someone because we love them,
we love them because
we are COMMITTED to them.”
Love comes from commitment.

37. 3. PERMANENCE of Marriage
V10 : And if you are married, stay married. This
is the Master's command, not mine.
• Marriage is for Life
• Must be the basis &
foundation for every
Christian marriage

38. Hernan Cortes,
a Spanish
Conquistador

39. What about “Cohabitation” or
Trial” Marriages ?
Barna Research :
“statistics have shown that
co-habitation increases the
likelihood of divorce, ….”
Divorce ? Barna Research Reports :
“Christian & Non-Christian divorce
rates essentially the same”
3. Permanence of Marriage

40. 3 P’s of Marriage
1. Practice of Marriage : Good,
Monogaous & Heterosexual
2. Principles of Marriage : Mutual
Satisfaction, Submission & Service
3. Permanence of Marriage.
CONCLUSION …

43. I. Rededicate our Hearts
to the LORD
• Renew our relationship
with Jesus.
• Spend time daily ‘watering the
garden of our soul’ with God’s word
and prayer.
• Deepen our relationship with Him
asking Him to help us become the
person He meant us to be.

44. II. Rededicate our Marriage to the
LORD
• Our marriage is God ordained
• Consciously ensure God is in our
marriage
• Renew our COMMITMENT to our
spouse

45. Do you renew your vows to your spouse as
your lawfully wedded wife/husband,
to continue to live together in the Holy State
of Matrimony?
Will you continue to love her/him, comfort
her/him, honour and keep her/him, in
sickness and in health; and forsaking all
other, continue to keep yourself only to
her/him so long as you both shall live?
ANSWER : I DO
Renewing THE WEDDING PLEDGE

46. Renewing THE WEDDING VOWS
I, (name), renew my commitment to you,
(name of spouse) as my (wife/husband),
to have and to hold,
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death do us part,
according to God’s holy ordinance
and to this end, I pledge you my faith.

47. III. Rededicate our Family to the LORD
• May the Lord have the place of
honor in our family
• Consciously commit once again each
of our children (? grand-children)
unto the Lord

48. Marriage Moments offer
short but poignant biblical
devotions, discussion
points, scripture references
and practical ideas for
couples to enjoy their
marriage.

49. John / Fee Ling

50. Conclusion One of the
highest goals of
any marriage
should be
to present each
other before
Christ as a
fragrant
offering –
pure and
spotless ….