It's Just Lunch, premier matchmaking and dating service for busy professional singles, fills you in on what other singles want you to know.

1. Twenty Years
of
First Dates
What Other Singles Want
You to Know

2. Introduction
Celebrate 20 Years with Us By
Dating Smarter
T
wenty years ago, a Chicago woman found
herself suddenly single when her engagement
was abruptly called off. She began the search
to meet “normal,” well-educated professionals. Her
friends sent her out on blind dates, she tried per-
sonal ads, and contemplated video dating services,
but she wasn’t comfortable with any of those op-
The Reason: Because you’d probably tions. The ideal date, she decided, was a lunch date
like to know why we’re giving you this free or a drink after work–a fun, laid-back, stress free
emagazine and what’s in it. way to meet other professional singles. Thus, It’s
Just Lunch was founded and the rest is history.
We Take Dating Personally
Twenty years later, with offices tens of thousands of people, where we ask singles for the
located throughout the United we’ve received personal feed- nitty-gritty on what’s impor-
States, Canada and the world, back about almost every one tant to them when it comes to
we know a thing or two about of them. Not to mention the finding romance. We’re written
dating. Actually, we probably thousands of articles, blog about everywhere, from the
know more than anyone else. posts, and fifty books. Plus, Wall Street Journal and Forbes
Not only have we set up over we’re famous throughout the to USA Today, and most recently
two million fun first dates for world for our dating surveys in Parade magazine.
We’re about to reveal to you what the people you date are really thinking.
It’s not our advice–it’s theirs–on chemistry, timing, what to talk about,
Our Dating Advice for what makes a date successful, and what to avoid. We analyze the results
You Comes from from a number of our surveys, and as usual, there are some big surprises,
including one area where men and women seem to be switching roles.
Other Singles
So keep reading. Enjoy. Date better. It’s our way of thanking you for twenty
great years.
Here’s to more great dates that lead to possibilities.
Warmly,
It’s Just Lunch
1

3. Dating Chemistry
The Reason: We know when it’s
there, and when it’s not-- but do we
know what it is? Here’s what’s even
more confusing: What you mean by
chemistry, and what your date means,
may be totally different. A couple
thousand singles have let us know
how they view it, so now we can tell
you. Their answers may surprise you.
“Chemistry has a mind of its own.
There are things you can do to invite
it, but it will only show up when it
wants to.”
Sheri McCall,Dating Director
“A chemical reaction happens when two chemicals are It’s Just Lunch Hartford
combined and they transform into something altogether
different.”
Then, when we asked what people
Survey Says: look for in terms of measuring the
Detect a pattern yet?
66% of singles say that on a success of a first date, the number Comfortable is definitely the magic
one item, with 45% of the vote, was “I word. There are things you can do
first date, chemistry is more felt comfortable being myself.”
important to them than compat- to make someone feel more com-
ibility. But what do they mean What First Date Success Means fortable. We give first date hints
by chemistry? Though 20% are that will help, starting on page 4.
sparked by physical attractive- But there is only so much you can
ness, and 7% by flirty or sexy
8% do. There’s also a mysterious side
banter, the clear winner is nei- 29% to being comfortable with some-
15%
ther of those. Instead, it’s “feel- body that has nothing to do with
ing comfortable together,” the any action you can take. It’s just
4% umm . . . chemistry.
answer selected by 44% of our
singles–and surprisingly 49% of I felt comfortable being myself The good news is–since that’s the
men. “Great conversation” was 44% case, you can’t really mess up a
the runner-up, selected by 28%. date. So you might as well relax
4%, My date turned me on
and have fun.
15%, There was never a lull in the conversation
8%, We immediately agreed to see each other again
29%, I walked away with a smile on my face
2

4. First Impressions
The Reason: More than half of getting ready for a first date
singles decide whether they want usually takes:
to see you again in the first twenty
minutes. You’ve got to make a good
42% — 1 hour
first impression–or avoid making a 27% — 45 minutes
bad one. 21% — 30 minutes
8% — 2 hours
The Two Biggest Impression 2% — 15 minutes
Makers:
Forewarned is Forearmed
There are two top answers for what sin-
gles notice on a date. The first is whether Time to talk about the items that may
or not you ask them questions about leave a bad impression with your date.
themselves. The second is how you treat Some of them you can fix, others you
the people around you. So make an ef- can’t, at least not before your next date.
fort to really find out about your date and
his or her life, especially their hobbies First, let’s talk about instant turn-offs.
and interests. And be patient and kind We asked about smoking, bad teeth, be-
with the folks serving your coffee or your ing overweight and an unkempt appear-
meal. ance. It’s much harder to change the first
three categories than it is to do a better
Each of those items are way more im- job grooming yourself. The good news,
portant to the impression you make than if you have any of these issues, is that
what you wear or whether you pay or not. no individual attribute is a deal breaker
for most singles. Whether you smoke,
Nonetheless, your date will notice how
have bad teeth or you’re overweight, the
put together you are. 77% of singles
majority of singles are likely to be okay
spend 45 minutes or more getting ready
with it as long as you have other desir-
for your date. So go ahead and make
able attributes.
your best effort as well. The extra time
you spend making yourself present-
Which of these automatically turns you off
able may give you an added confidence
to someone on a first date?
boost-- and confidence is something both
men and women find attractive.
They
appear
“You don’t get a second chance to They smoke
22% unkempt
make a first impression, so dress to 26%
impress, be engaging and positive and
remember to smile. And please, put They’re
overweight
away your cell phone!” 25% They have
bad breath
Stacy Stellmacher, Operations manager 27%
It’s Just Lunch Minneapolis
3

5. First Impressions
Deal Breakers:
What is the first date deal breaker for you?
We also looked at another set of deal
breakers, most of which can easily be 40%
changed, like answering a cell phone
during a date, being late, bad breath
and drinking too much. As uncomfort- 30%
able as these behaviors or issues
make people, the top answer was a 40% 20%
different one, one that can’t really be
20%
changed: 40% of singles chose “not 21%
10%
having any interests in common.” If
14%
one of you loves mountain biking, Bad breath
camping, and the outdoors, and the Too much 6%
0%
alcohol No common
other is a homebody who cherishes interests Answering the
cooking, a good movie, and a nice cell phone Tardiness
hotel, it may not be a match. But that’s
nobody’s fault, and there’s not much Leave Your Coupon Home
you can do about it.
Groupon and its imitators offer half-off coupons for
many restaurants. It turns out that more than 60% of
singles think it’s tacky or cheap to use one on a date.
If your date brought out a
Leave it home to use with a friend.
coupon to pay for your first
date, what would you think? First Impression Finals:
The last task that’s part of making a good impression
on a first date, and slightly thereafter, is how you ask
for a second get-together. Here’s how other singles
attempt to move things forward:
Tacky
39% Cheap
41%
how they ask for a second date
65% — A phone call
Smart 23% — Ask them straight out on the first date
20% 8% — An email
3% — A text message
1% — Instant messenger
4

6. Timing
The Reason: Timing is everything. first date timing
Isn’t it? We want to help you get your
timing down by sharing what more than For years we’ve been looking at how long it takes
2000 singles told us about theirs. people to decide whether or not they want to see
someone again.
The answers are always fascinating. And they change
dramatically over time
First off, let’s look at what’s happening currently with
the entire survey group.
5 minutes.
12.6% of singles decide
whether or not to see a
date again in 5 minutes.
On a first date how much time do
you need before you decide if you
want to see your date again?
An amazing 57% of the people you date 5 minutes
7%
decide whether or not to see you again in the 3% 13%
first twenty minutes!
But singles under forty are even faster! In a An hour
survey we conducted with American Way, the 33%
in-flight magazine of American Airlines, 20% of
21-39 year olds said they only take five minutes. 20 minutes
If you are seeing people under forty, that’s one 45%
in five of your dates.
3%, I always agree to see someone again
7%, Over an hour
5

7. Timing
Are Men And Women Reversing Roles?
One of the more fascinating things we’re seeing is that the length of
time it takes to decide whether or not to go out with someone again
has changed over the last seven years for both men and women. It
turns out, currently, women and men are quite similar in their ap-
proach to deciding on a second date. But in 2004, there was a huge
disparity between the sexes. Back then, 64% of women took at least
an hour to decide whether or not to go on a second date with a man.
Now, 56% of women are deciding in the first twenty minutes or less.
How Long Does It Take You To Decide Whether
Or Not You Want To See Someone Again?
50%
46%
Women
Men 37.5%
27%
44% 25%
35%
14%
11% 12.5%
5 Minutes
8% 7%
20 Minutes
An hour 5%
0%
Over an hour 2%
I always agree to see
And if we time travel again with men back to 2004, 79% of the guys on a someone
first date took only 15 minutes to make up their minds whether to ask a
woman out again. That means only 21% took longer than that.
But our latest statistics show that 34% of the guys take an hour or more.
So men and women, polar opposites a mere seven years ago, have just
about met in the middle.
6

8. Timing
Looking for a Relationship how long do you wait to
schedule a second date?
or a Second Date? 39% — Within 48 hours
W e were pretty sure that men and
women would have different per-
centages on this topic. And we were right
35% — Within 24 hours
13% — Within 72 hours
9% — Right after the date
about that. But there was a surprise, too.
We posed the question “When you are 4% — A week
on a first date, what is going through your
head?” Top two things they’re thinking about on
One gender’s top answer was “Do I want your date
to see him/her again?”
Women 60%
The other gender’s biggest response was
Men
“Could we have a relationship together?” 45%
But which sex said which?
51%
Would you believe that men are the ones 30%
who are more pre-occupied with the idea 36%
of a future relationship? Well, they are. 39% 45%
15%
Who would have guessed?
And, of course, kissing is a matter of Do I want to see 0%
timing, too. him/her again?
Could we have a relationship
together?
First date went well, would you be open to
kissing at the end of the date?
Tip
No “When it comes to dating, we may all
22% want to try to slow things down, relax
some of our rules, and give people a
bit of a chance before we come to a
final conclusion about them. Life has
a way of pleasantly surprising you if
you are patient.”
Yes Irene LaCota
It’s Just Lunch
78%
7

9. Wordplay
The Reason: The right words can “Have fun! Don’t over-analyze every word,
build your connection a little at a time. conversation, text or call. Over-thinking may ruin
The wrong ones can instantaneously something before it has a chance to begin.”
jettison you back to the dating pool.
Molly Kane, Client Director
It’s Just Lunch Seattle
A Thousand Words
When it comes to a first date, talk
isn’t cheap. In fact, it’s the most
valuable factor in determining
compatibility, according to 36%
of singles. It turns out that you
might want to spruce up your
conversation starters as well as
your appearance before you head
to that coffee shop or restaurant.
When you think of compatibility
on a first date, which do you think
is the most important component?
Ready, Set, Talk 3. Ask open-ended ques-
tions that evoke a response
When it comes to a first beyond yes or no.
date, here are five tips to
15%
help your conversation 4. Try learning five jokes
25% sparkle and keep your foot that are clean and not
Physical comfort demeaning to anyone. This
with each other out of your mouth:
may take a while, but it’s
23% 1. Keep up with current actually a useful tool in
events so you can talk many situations.
intelligently about major
Easy conversation developments 5. Remember something
37% he or she said and relate
2. When you talk about it to something that’s said
yourself, keep it positive. later in the conversation.
15%, Shared outlook on life Stick to your best attributes This is a great way to show
23%, Similar personal styles and and the interests you’re what a wonderful listener
habits most passionate about. you are.
8

10. Wordplay
Something to Talk About First date talking turn-offs
Most singles agree with the advice that Bloody
Mary, a character from the musical South
Pacific, gives in her famous song, “Happy Talk:”
“Talk about things you’d like to do.” 52% say 4%
that your hobbies and interests are the easi- 14%
est and best topics for a first date. But if you’ve 18%
been to the South Pacific, feel free to mention
that, too. 24% of singles think travel makes for
good conversation during your initial outing.
Money
14%
His/her past conquests
What are the easiest/best topics 49%
for conversation on a first date?
18%, His/her ailments
14%, Politics/religion
6% 8% 4%, The future
Travel
24% DANGER ZONE
Hobbies/Interests
52% DO NOT ENTER into a conversation about the following
topics if you want to avoid alienating your date: previous
romantic conquests and physical ailments. Those are the
10% top two subjects most singles dislike hearing about.
10%, Family
8%, Movies
6%, Food
40 percent of singles believe talk-
ing about your ex is the biggest
“don’t”on a first date.
9

11. Hints For Him
The Reason: Everybody needs a
reminder now and then, and there’s
always something you can do a little
better.
Ten Things Women Expect
1 Smile the minute you see her. After
all, she was nice enough to agree to
meet with you-- and she actually showed
up. This will help her feel comfortable
with you, which as we’ve mentioned, is
an important part of chemistry. Plus it’ll
make you feel good, too. According to a
blog post by Ron Gutman on Forbes.com,
British researchers have reported that a
smile provides the same positive stimula- “The most common feedback I get from women
tion to the brain as 2000 chocolate bars-- after dates they’ve particularly enjoyed is that
or $25,000. the gentlemen was a great conversationalist.
He had the ability to listen to what she was
2 Have topics of conversation in
mind. Almost one-third of the wom-
en we surveyed measure chemistry by
saying and keep the conversation flowing.”
Anton Jones, Dating Director
how great the conversation is. If you want It’s Just Lunch Detroit
to look good, then be ready with some
subjects to talk about. But don’t just talk:
LISTEN. An enjoyable conversation is a
fifty-fifty proposition. BONUS POINTS: If
you know what she’s interested in, do
4 Get there five minutes early. Being on time
shows respect. But showing up a little early
lets you be there when she arrives. It’s much
a little homework so you can talk about more relaxing for her to see you when she gets
those subjects. there, rather than to have to wait for you.
3 Be aware of your body language.
This will also help her feel comfort-
able. Don’t be too stand-offish, as in
5 Treat her like a lady. Hold doors open. Pull
out her chair. She’ll see your old-fashioned
good manners as a positive trait. But do it in a
sitting back with your arms folded across relaxed manner, like you do this every day, rather
your chest. Leaning in shows interest. But than trying too hard.
not too far–you don’t want to invade her
space. Also, make plenty of eye contact.
10

12. Hints For Him
6 Treat everyone you see or speak
about with respect. Like a job
interview, a first date is a microcosm
Survey Says:
of who you are. And women instinc- one of the most important things i notice on a
tively know this. If you are disrespect-
ful to the wait staff, they know that
first date is:
eventually you will treat them the 39% — How they treat the wait staff or other people
same way. If you are disparaging around us
about an ex or someone else in your 38% — Did they ask me questions about myself?
life, they know that you could easily be
16% — How much effort they put into their appearance
negative about them, too. Stay posi-
tive. Women are watching. 6% — If my date offers to pay
1% — How much my date tips the wait staff
7 Give her a sincere compliment.
This is a great way to make your
date feel more comfortable. But make
10
it subtle, not over the top. Have a sense of humor.
8 Be confident. We hear time and There’s a reason speakers
again that women like confident tell jokes at the beginning of a
guys. And if you’ve ever been with a speech. Laughter takes you from the
group of guys and a pretty girl, you’ve analytical, judgmental left side of the
seen that the confident guy gets the brain, to the creative, intuitive, right
most attention. Here’s a tip if you side. Once you make someone laugh,
need a little boost in the self-assur- they’re more open to you. So when
ance area. When you go on a date, you spot an opportunity to make her
instead of wondering ‘Will she like laugh, go for it. But keep it clean!
me?’ Turn it around and think, ‘Will I
like her?’
9 Make eye contact. 29% of singles
say that eye contact is the number
one way to show that you’re confident. “The two most important characteristics I’ve seen in my
It’s the best way to let a woman know successful clients are confidence and a positive attitude. It
you’re truly paying attention to her. doesn’t matter who you are or what you are looking for. If you
Plus the eyes are said to be the win- feel good about yourself, it’s a lot easier for other people to
dows of the soul, so look into hers, feel good about you, too. If you are positive and enjoy life, you
and she won’t be able to help looking will not only enjoy the dating process more, but you’ll also
into yours. become more appealing, meaning you’ll probably find your
significant other a lot sooner.”
Krista White, Director of Operations
It’s Just Lunch Washington DC
11

13. Hints For Her
The Reason: Because we commu-
nicate with more single men than any
of the women’s magazines you read or
any of the TV talk shows you watch.
Ten Things Guys Expect
1 Dress Like You’re Interested. Men
are visual, and they are aware when
a woman is wearing something a little
special. Guys notice, for example, when
you dress in colors that are especially What character trait do you look
flattering to you or wear something that’s
for in someone you date?
just a little showy. And it makes them feel
like you’re interested in them. 34% — Kindness
19% — Intelligence
2 Be On Time. It’s a sign of respect in
all situations, but especially on a
first date. Some guys will take it person-
14% — Confidence
6% — Ambition
ally when you’re late, and you won’t see
2% — Humor
them at their best. For certain women,
it’s easy to be on time. But if you’re What Not To Wear
always late, pretend your dates are job
You may think some of these items are appealing, but the
interviews for a million dollar job. men surveyed will tell you otherwise.
3 Be Kind. According to 34% of the
more than 2000 singles we sur-
veyed, it turns out that kindness is the
Men: What article of women’s clothing is the biggest turnoff for you?
0% 10% 20% 30% 40%
most important character trait, more
Uggs
important than even intelligence and 5%
confidence. So lead with kindness, and Baby doll dresses 12%
be kind to everyone you interact with
Loose baggy sweats
during your date, including him. 38%
Too much jewelry
4 Stay Positive. Even about yourself. 21%
It doesn’t matter if I can imagine her body
You make a better impression when 15%
you leave out negative remarks about
your ex, your boss, and even your neigh- “Look at each date as an opportunity to learn
bor. But it’s also important not to be more about yourself”
disparaging about yourself. Guys want to
be around women who like themselves. Sara French, Managing Director
It’s Just Lunch Seattle
12

14. Hints For Her
men: what is the MOST attrac-
tive feature of opposite sex
52% — Smile
37% — Eyes
6% — Backside
5% — Hair
5 Show Your Sense of Humor.
Dating’s more fun when you don’t
take it too seriously. Plus humor will help
him open up, too. A little back and forth
joking is a form of play and will make it
easier for you both to get to know each
other.
6 Make Eye Contact. Let him know
that you’re paying attention. Eye
contact shows confidence and creates a
9
Share Your Opinions
Without Making it 10 Let Out Your Softer
Side. If you’re open
Seem Like a Debate. Most and vulnerable, it will make
nice connection. guys like bright women. But it easier for him to be that
7 Smile. According to our surveys, when they’re having coffee, way, too. The two of you will
52% of singles think a smile is the lunch or drinks, they’re more have a much more emotion-
most attractive feature of the opposite interested in feeling comfort- ally satisfying connection if
sex. Plus it will make both of you feel able with you than in having you both let your hair down
good. If those aren’t enough reasons, an intellectual debate. So and show your humanity.
check out Hints For Him on page 4. share your opinions freely in
a gentle way, and if there’s
8 Find a Reason to Compliment Him. a subject you butt heads
Underneath it all, even the tough- on, find a diplomatic way to
est guy is pleased when he gets a com- change topics.
pliment from a woman. And knowing you
like something about him will put him at
ease, and make him feel comfortable with
“Make a conscious choice to give off a
you, which, as mentioned previously, is
warm and approachable energy, and you
the number one aspect of chemistry for
will radiate attraction.”
most singles.
Presley Mulvaney, Client Coordinator
It’s Just Lunch Seattle
13

15. Get Your Flirt On
The Reason: It’s fun. It’s they are. Most people only inquire immediately when you feel a con-
interesting. It adds an element about the surface of things. Your nection.
of excitement to any date. And dates will enjoy it if you take the
it’s a ritual that’s been bringing conversation to a deeper level. Next, Give a Compliment
men and women together since Ask them why they like what they
A compliment received after eye
Adam and Eve. like, and how they wound up
contact and a smile feels more
doing the things they do. It will
intimate than when it’s just given
develop a sense of closeness and
The Flirting any old time. This is the moment
comfort.
Process to say something
subtle that still
Everyone likes being
let’s him or her
flirted with. It brings a
know you’re feel-
level of intimacy that
ing an attraction.
takes things out of
the friend zone into Tell It Like
something a bit more It Is
romantic. Here are ten
ways to add a little flirt Being vulnerable
to any date–or even and honest is the
any conversation. slam-dunk, sexi-
est thing a man
Connect to or woman can
Yourself First be. Getting “real”
with someone will
Flirting works best
make you stand
when you are not only
out from everyone
aware of the other per-
else they date. It
son, but also aware of your own
Listen Attentively also will make it easier for your
body--instead of in your head,
date to be open and vulnerable
thinking the whole time. Take a Being a good listener is a potent with you. Just don’t get too per-
few seconds to connect to your- aphrodisiac. Everyone loves the sonal.
self. The simplest way is to no- feeling of being fully seen and
tice what your feet feel like, and heard.
then your hands. You get bonus
points for becoming aware of your Make Meaningful Eye
breathing and your heartbeat. Contact and Smile
Look for the Why and the This 1-2 punch transports these
How simple actions from the realm of
friendship to the world of flirting.
People love it when you ask ques- Let your eyes linger on his or hers
tions that let them show you who while you’re talking, then smile
14

16. Get Your Flirt On
Laugh
One of the best ways to show off your sense
of humor is by appreciating theirs. Ask any
performer: Genuine laughter brings a greater
sense of approval than even applause.
Be Enthusiatic
As a flirt, you want the person you’re flirting
with to feel good about you and to experience
you as a fun, happy, great-to-be-with person.
The easiest way to make that happen is to
really let yourself enjoy your date, no matter
what happens. If you seem like you’re glad to
be there, they will be glad to be there too.
Your Date’s Going Well. What Signals Do
Draw Them In You Give Off That You Are Interested?
Lean forward, not because you want to show
off your muscles or your cleavage, but to
convey interest. Talk to them actively, showing
that you like them. Then start talking more
quietly and intimately. They’ll need to get Lean in close
Compliment your date
closer to hear you, so draw them in with your 18%
24%
voice. Guys, gauge her “personal zone” and
then encroach on it just an inch. Leaning in
too far can seem too forceful.
Touch Him or Her 9%
The sense of touch heightens during flirt- 3%
ing and can actually send tingles through a Give your undivided attention to your date
person’s body. Realize this power and watch
for ways to use it. Once you’ve become com- 46%
fortable, lightly brush shoulders, or touch their
hand or arm if they say something funny.
9%, Share intimate knowledge
about yourself
3%, Offer a taste of food
15

17. 2nd Chance at
Chemistry?
Have you ever had a bad or lukewarm first
date lead to a longer term relationship? The Reason: Some people,
even though they try their best,
just can’t relax until the second
60% date. Or maybe last time they
were having a bad day and you
45% didn’t get to see who they really
were.
Never
59.91% 30%
Once or
more “Change things up by turning the
36.71% 15% second date into a physical activity
3.38% like golf, tennis, or bike riding. A num-
0% ber of people find it easier to open up
Yes, quite often and connect with someone new when
they’re moving around.”
Second Date Bad News: Pamela Lanier, Senior Director
It’s Just Lunch Columbus
You may be fighting an uphill battle even if he or she agrees
to go out with you again. 52% of our respondents have
agreed to go on a second date just to be nice, even though Survey Says:
they didn’t want to. One interesting note: This question
resulted in one of the widest splits between men and It doesn’t happen all the time, but
women. 57% of women had done this and 42% of men. more than one-third of our singles
report that they have had a bad or
lukewarm date lead to a longer term
relationship. So if someone shows
interest in going out with you again,
100% consider saying yes. Maybe they see
No something you don’t.
47.77%
75%
“I encourage my clients to always
50% pursue a second date if they’re on
Yes the fence after date one. Most people
52.23% relax and show their true colors on
25%
the second date.”
0% Molly Kane, Client Director
It’s Just Lunch Seattle
2nd Date Just to Be Nice?
16

18. Think Out of the Box
The Reason: You’re a different person than
you were during your last relationship. Your dating
preferences may have evolved as well. The love of
your life may be out there in a somewhat different
form than what you previously imagined.
How to Make Dating More Fun
Stay open to a wider variety of people and date more.
Over and over we see that our clients who are willing
to do this have the most matches, the best time and
Get Current With Yourself the greatest success.
One way to open up to wider dating We know. There are a lot of reasons to rule people
possibilities is to mentally update out.
who you’ve become since your last round of On the other hand, not everything you think is im-
dating. Here are some questions to think about: portant really is. Here’s one way to test how strongly
• Why are you dating again? Is it for a long- you feel about an issue in terms of your next rela-
term relationship or are you looking to date tionship. Ask yourself this:
recreationally? If I met someone and I was attracted to them, and
• What do you have to offer that may be they made me feel truly loved–would it matter that
different from the last time you dated? they were ________?
• Are there things you want to do differently Fill in the blank with each of your parameters for
this time? What are they? ruling someone out.
• What do you hope to gain from meeting You might be thinking--”Okay, but I could never be
new people? attracted to someone who was ______.”
That may be true. But maybe not.
“I’d rather be happy than right”
Douglas Adams
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe
17

19. Think Out Of The Box
Caroline, was an HR Professional and an avid Some of the things you think you value the most
skier. She was smart, engaging and gorgeous may not be as important to you as it is to be
with a great sense of humor. One of her deal truly loved.
breakers was that she didn’t want to date men Maybe he doesn’t need to love animals as
with children, even though she had a son of much as you. Maybe she doesn’t need to be
her own. Then along came John, a successful willing to cook. Maybe the two of you don’t need
business owner and a great dad to two young to share identical spiritual beliefs. Just respect-
sons. I could tell that John and Caroline were ing each other’s point of view might be enough.
perfect for each other.
On the other hand, if you have a child who lives
The problem was John’s kids; I called Caroline with you, then you definitely need someone who
and told her what a great fit he was. She likes kids.
decided to go ahead and meet him. Honor your deal breakers--but test to see if they
really are hard and fast rules.
They’ve now been dating for about six months
and John recently called me to thank me for
seeing their “couple potential.” Not only are
they still happy together, it turns out Caroline
is thrilled that her son has someone the same
age to play with. Expert Advice: “One trait that Seattle’s
most successful clients possess is that they
Brenna Rick, Elite Coordinator
It’s Just Lunch Minneapolis are very open when it comes to meeting
people from different areas of Western Wash-
ington. Location doesn’t really matter if there
is some apparent chemistry or connection
How many hours a week do you devote to on the first date. A prime example: Jeff and
looking for dates (not including going out Cheryl who were recently married through us.
on the actual date)? Jeff lived the urban life in the city and had his
small business not far from his home. Cheryl
lived and worked 60 miles outside the city
3%
in a small town. Jeff was skeptical, but open
3-6 hours 2% to making the drive south to meet Cheryl for
13%
their first date. The two really hit it off and
0 hours neither mentioned the distance in their feed-
41% back. Two years later, they are now married
and Jeff packed up his urban life and moved
to the country to be with Cheryl!”
1-3 hours
42%
Jillian Arbow, Senior Client Coordinator
3%, 7-10 hours It’s Just Lunch Seattle
2%, 10 hours
18