This document discusses the topic of bitterness and forgiveness. It begins by summarizing Ephesians 4:25-32, which lists commands such as speaking truthfully, not letting anger lead to sin, avoiding theft and unwholesome talk. It then discusses characteristics of bitter people and five ways people become bitter. The document stresses that when sinned against, the only choices are bitterness or forgiveness. It provides six commands for bitter believers, such as watching gossip and emotions. It describes the cycle of bitterness and how to dig up the root through forgiveness. Finally, it outlines what forgiveness is and is not. The overarching message is that believers must forgive others as God in Christ forgave them.

3. EPHESIANS 4:25-32
25 Therefore each of you must put off
falsehood and speak truthfully to your
neighbor, for we are all members of one
body. 26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not
let the sun go down while you are still
angry, 27 and do not give the devil a
foothold.

4. EPHESIANS 4:25-32
28 Anyone who has been stealing must
steal no longer, but must work, doing
something useful with their own hands,
that they may have something to share
with those in need.

5. EPHESIANS 4:25-32
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come
out of your mouths, but only what is
helpful for building others up according to
their needs, that it may benefit those who
listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit
of God, with whom you were sealed for
the day of redemption.

6. EPHESIANS 4:25-32
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and
anger, brawling and slander, along with
every form of malice. 32 Be kind and
compassionate to one another, forgiving
each other, just as in Christ God forgave
you.

7. ARE YOU
MARA?

8. RUTH 1:20
20 “Don’t call me Naomi,” she told them.
“Call me Mara, because the Almighty has
made my life very bitter.

9. CHARACTERISTICS
OF BITTER PEOPLE

10. (1) Bitter people are
archeologists, always
digging up the past.

11. (2) Bitter people
remember intricate
details because they
keep a record of
wrongs.

12. 1 CORINTHIANS 13:5
5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-
seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps
no record of wrongs.

13. (3) Bitter people are
triggered less by the
offense and more by
their love for the
offender.

14. (4) Bitter people are
prone to be self-
righteous since they
are the perceived
victim.

15. If I sin against you, am I prone to feel
guilty or bitter? Guilty. If I perceive that
you’ve sinned against me, and I
choose not to forgive you, am I prone
to feel guilty or bitter? Bitter.

16. Bitterness is, by definition, the
possession of the one who is
perceived to have been wronged.
This contributes to their sense of self-
righteousness and judgmentalism.

17. FIVE WAYS PEOPLE
BECOME BITTER

18. The first four are illegitimate, and
the fifth is legitimate.

19. (1) You wrongly think
that they have sinned
against you.

20. (2) They rebuked you,
and you were hard-
hearted, and you
were hurt, so you’re
bitter against them.

21. (3) You are jealous of
them.

22. JAMES 3:14
14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish
ambition in your hearts, do not boast
about it or deny the truth.

23. (4) You are jealous of
them.

24. If you’re bitter against someone for any
one of those four reasons, you are in
sin. You’re in sin.

25. (5) You have been
sinned against.

26. YOU HAVE BEEN
SINNED AGAINST.

27. When we are sinned against, we have
two choices: bitterness or forgiveness.
There’s no third option. When you are
sinned against, it’s bitterness or
forgiveness.

28. Who is it that you are bitter against, or
potentially bitter against, or will be bitter
against?
Who has sinned against you?
Whose face comes into your mind’s eye?
Whose name comes into your mind?

29. Who has betrayed you?
Who has abandoned you?
Who has harmed you?
Who has disappointed you?
Who has hurt you?
Who do you blame for your bitterness?

30. What tends to happen is, when we
have been sinned against—we have
been victimized—we tend to justify
our bitterness.

31. But, no one can make you bitter.
They’re responsible for their sin, but
you’re responsible for your
bitterness.

32. “For a cup brimful
of sweet water
cannot even spill
one drop of bitter
water, however
suddenly jolted.”
- Amy Carmichael

33. If there’s bitterness in you, they’re going to
expose it. They’re not causing it; they’re
exposing it. If there’s sweet water in your
soul, and someone sins against you,
they’re exposing, not changing, what is
in your soul.

34. SIX COMMANDS FOR
BITTER BELIEVERS

35. EPHESIANS 4:25-29
25 Therefore each of you must put off
falsehood and speak truthfully to your
neighbor, for we are all members of one
body. 26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not
let the sun go down while you are still
angry, 27 and do not give the devil a
foothold.

36. EPHESIANS 4:25-29
28 Anyone who has been stealing must
steal no longer, but must work, doing
something useful with their own hands,
that they may have something to share
with those in need.

37. EPHESIANS 4:25-29
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come
out of your mouths, but only what is
helpful for building others up according to
their needs, that it may benefit those who
listen.

38. (1) WATCH YOUR
GOSSIP

39. Gossip is when we talk about people;
we don’t talk with them. That’s gossip.
The Bible has nothing good to say about
gossip, and just because you’re hurting
doesn’t mean there’s an exception clause.

40. PROVERBS 26:20
20 Without wood a fire goes out; without a
gossip a quarrel dies down.

41. God’s people are to bring water to the
fire, not wood. Gossip is just dry kindling.

42. Sometimes this means you literally need to
sit down with them face to face. Matthew 18
says if there’s a personal offense between the
two of you, you start face to face. And if that
doesn’t produce any result, then you bring along
two or three other godly people to help mediate
and observe the process.

43. (2) WATCH YOUR
EMOTIONS

44. EXODUS 34:6
6 And He passed in front of Moses,
proclaiming, “The Lord, the Lord, the
compassionate and gracious God, slow
to anger, abounding in love and
faithfulness,

45. (3) WATCH YOUR
CLOCK

46. In saying, “Do not let the sun go down on
your anger,” what it’s saying is, “Don’t let
things extend or delay.”

47. It doesn’t mean you can’t go for a walk and say,
“Look, I’m really frustrated. I need to pray. Let me
journal, think my thoughts through, get my head on
straight. Let me cool down. Let me go read my
Bible. I’ll be ready in an hour or two. Let me just get
ready to talk to you so I don’t bring a lot of wood to
this fire.”

48. (4) WATCH YOUR
ENEMY

49. Satan loves it when a Christian shoots
a Christian, saves them the bullet, and it
also publicly damages the reputation of
Jesus. It’s all spiritual war.

50. (5) WATCH YOUR
HANDS

51. What do you do with your hands when you’re bitter?
Do you punch something? Do you shove someone?
Do you grab someone? Do you throw something?
Do you slam a door? Do you jump in a car? Do you
slam it into gear and speed away? What do you do
with your hands?

52. (6) WATCH YOUR
MOUTH

53. Bitter people tend to rewrite, revise
history. Watch your mouth. Tell the truth
about them and you. You do not have a
right to respond to sin with sin. The Bible
says, “Do not respond to evil with evil.”

54. THE CYCLE OF
BITTERNESS

55. EPHESIANS 4:31
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and
anger, brawling and slander, along with
every form of malice.

56. DIG UP THE ROOT
OF BITTERNESS

57. HEBREWS 12:15
15 See to it that no one falls short of the
grace of God and that no bitter root
grows up to cause trouble and defile
many.

58. Bitterness has roots. Forgiveness is the
shovel that digs up the root of
bitterness.

59. HOW TO BUILD
A FIRE

60. PROVERBS 26:20
20 Without wood a fire goes out; without a
gossip a quarrel dies down.

61. First thing, you need a spark, and then a little
flame. OK, now we have the beginnings of a
potential fire. There’s an opportunity here.
That’s what wrath is. Bitterness is like the
spark. Wrath is the first flame. Now, through
gossip, you’re literally breathing on it.

62. Bitter people don’t intend to burn down
everything in their path. But the two options
are bitterness or forgiveness, wood on the
fire, or water on the fire. And sometimes,
hurt people like to hurt people. Some fires
move slow. Some fires move fast.

63. FORGIVEN
PEOPLE
FORGIVE.

64. EPHESIANS 4:29-32
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come
out of your mouths, but only what is
helpful for building others up according to
their needs, that it may benefit those who
listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit
of God, with whom you were sealed for
the day of redemption.

65. EPHESIANS 4:29-32
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and
anger, brawling and slander, along with
every form of malice. 32 Be kind and
compassionate to one another, forgiving
each other, just as in Christ God forgave
you.

66. It takes a miracle for a bitter victim to forgive,
and the name of the miracle is the Holy
Spirit. He is the one who will allow you,
empower you, enable you to forgive. And if
you resist or quench Him—we grieve the
Holy Spirit.

67. Sin is not just breaking God’s laws. It’s
breaking God’s heart, because God is not
just a law. He’s a Person. Are you grieving the
Holy Spirit? Is there sadness? Is there grief,
because of you, in Him?

68. BECAUSE GOD
IN CHRIST
FORGAVE YOU

69. SEVEN THINGS
FORGIVENESS
IS

70. SEVEN THINGS FORGIVENESS IS
(1) Forgiveness is canceling a debt owed to
you.
(2) Forgiveness is removing the control that
the offender has over you.
(3) Forgiveness is giving a gift to yourself
and to your offender.

71. SEVEN THINGS FORGIVENESS IS
(4) Forgiveness is forsaking revenge.
(5) Forgiveness is leaving ultimate justice in
God’s hands.
(6) Forgiveness is an ongoing process.
(7) Forgiveness is wanting good for your
offender. .

72. ROMANS 12:19
19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends,
but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is
written: “It is Mine to avenge; I will repay,”
says the Lord.

73. SEVEN THINGS
FORGIVENESS
IS NOT

74. SEVEN THINGS FORGIVENESS
IS NOT
(1) Forgiveness is not denying that sin
occurred or diminishing its evil.
(2) Forgiveness is not enabling sin.
(3) Forgiveness is not necessarily a
response to an apology.
(4) Forgiveness is not forgetting.

75. SEVEN THINGS FORGIVENESS
IS NOT
(5) Forgiveness is not covering up crimes
committed against us.
(6) Forgiveness is not trust.
(7) Forgiveness is not reconciliation.

76. WHO DO YOU
NEED TO FORGIVE
AND WHO NEEDS
TO FORGIVE YOU?