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Team 
Photo by popofatticus [link] 
Effectiveness 
Ed Batista 
August 21, 2014
Photo: Seth Anderson 
Who am I? 
Executive coach 
Instructor @ Stanford GSB 
HBR: blogs.hbr.org/ed-batista 
www.edbatista.com
Where are we 
Feedback skills 
Group norms 
Photo by Alex Eflon [link] 
going?
How will we 
get there? 
Concepts (~70 mins) 
Exercises, debriefs & feedback (~2 hrs 10 mins) 
Photo by Chloe Fan [link]
Teams as 
Photo by popofatticus [link] 
human systems 
Feedback = learning 
Feels awkward (even here) 
Group norms matter
Teams as 
Photo by popofatticus [link] 
human systems 
Think about this team… 
How are you communicating? 
How would you like to communicate?
Concepts #1 
Today’s headline 
The simplest feedback model 
Feelings 
Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
The headline 
Feedback is stressful 
So critique with care 
& express more heartfelt appreciation 
Photo by Garry Knight [link] 
Read 
More
The simplest 
feedback model 
When you do [X], I feel [Y]. 
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
The simplest 
feedback model 
When you do [X], I feel [Y].
Feelings 
Disclosing feelings = vulnerable 
But feelings  influence 
And vulnerability  closeness 
Comfort with discomfort 
Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]
Concepts #2 
5 levels 
Hierarchy of needs 
Safety, trust, intimacy 
Social threat 
SCARF model 
Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
5 levels 
Richard Francisco 
In what ways do we communicate? 
Increasing levels of difficulty, risk & learning 
Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
5 levels 
1: Ritual 
2: Extended Ritual 
3: Content 
4: Feelings About Content 
5: Feelings About Each Other 
Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
5 levels 
Hardest 
Riskiest 
Most powerful for feedback 
5: Feelings About Each Other 
Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
Hierarchy of needs 
Abraham Maslow 
What motivates us as human beings? 
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Hierarchy of needs 
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] 
Self-actualization 
Esteem 
Love & belonging 
Safety 
Physiological
Hierarchy of needs 
Parallels in groups & relationships 
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Hierarchy of needs 
Learning, self-awareness 
& change 
Psychological safety, trust & intimacy 
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] 
Experiments, risk-taking & 
vulnerability 
In groups & relationships…
Teams as 
Photo by popofatticus [link] 
human systems 
Think about your interactions on this team… 
What enhances safety, trust & intimacy? 
What undermines them?
Safety, trust, 
Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link] 
intimacy 
Read 
More
Safety, trust, 
intimacy 
Safety = I won’t get hurt 
Trust = I believe you & you believe me 
Intimacy = We can make the private public
Safety, trust, 
intimacy 
Feedback can create these conditions 
But there’s a problem…
Can I give you 
some feedback? 
Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link]
Feedback and 
Photo by Mykl Roventine [link] 
social threat
Threat response 
aka “Fight, flight or freeze” 
Physiological 
Photo by State Farm [link]
Threat response 
aka “Fight, flight or freeze” 
Emotional 
Photo by State Farm [link]
Threat response 
aka “Fight, flight or freeze” 
Cognitive 
Decision-making 
Problem-solving 
Collaboration 
Photo by State Farm [link]
Social threat 
(Some) social situations ≈ Physical threats 
Many times/day 
Most common location?
Social threat 
Physiological/emotional response plus… 
Cognitive impairment 
Decision-making 
Problem-solving 
Collaboration 
Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
Social threat 
Result? 
Massive communication failure 
We give feedback ineffectively 
We receive it poorly 
Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
SCARF model 
Photo by Andrew Vargas [link] 
Read 
More 
David Rock 
What social situations 
trigger a threat 
response?
SCARF model 
David Rock 
How can we minimize the risk of social threat? 
How can we create safety? 
Photo by Andrew Vargas [link]
SCARF model 
Status 
Certainty 
Autonomy 
Relatedness 
Fairness 
Read 
More
Use the model 
When giving feedback… 
Be mindful of status 
Minimize uncertainty 
Maximize autonomy 
Build the relationship* 
Play fair* 
Photo by Andrew Vargas [link]
Use the model 
When getting feedback… 
Cultivate in-the-moment awareness 
Recognize our threat response 
Manage our emotions 
Slow things down
Concepts #3 
Relationships 
The net 
Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
Relationships 
John Gottman 
What characterizes successful relationships? 
Photo by Harsha KR [link] 
Read 
More
Relationships 
Feeling known by the other 
A culture of appreciation 
Responding to “bids” 
Mutual influence
Relationships 
5:1 positive to negative 
“Emotional bank account” 
& conflict 
Photo by Connor Tartar [link]
Teams as 
Photo by popofatticus [link] 
human systems 
Think about your teammates… 
How’s your emotional bank account? 
What are you doing to build the relationship?
The net 
Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
The net 
David Bradford 
How to improve communication? 
How to minimize defensiveness? 
How can we play fair? 
Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
The net 
Me You 
Your 
response 
My 
behavior 
My 
intention
What I know 
Me 
My 
intention 
My 
behavior
What I don’t 
You 
Your 
response
What you know 
You 
Your 
response 
My 
behavior
What you don’t 
Me 
My 
intention
Use the model 
Intent ≠ impact 
My intention doesn’t guarantee your response 
Impact ≠ intent 
Your response wasn’t necessarily my intention
Use the model 
Stay on our side of the net 
Focus on observed behavior 
Disclose our response 
When you do [X], I feel [Y].
Use the model 
Result? 
Lower risk of social threat 
Less chance of defensiveness 
Increased sense of fairness
Teams as 
Photo by popofatticus [link] 
human systems 
Think about your teammates… 
When do you cross their net? 
When do they cross yours?
To sum up 
Build safety, trust & intimacy 
Use the models 
Minimize social threat 
Less stressful feedback 
More learning 
Photo by Pranav Yaddanapudi [link]
Concepts #4 
Positive feedback 
Mindset 
Soft start 
Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
Positive feedback 
A paradox 
So important 
So often ineffective 
What’s wrong? 
Photo by Aaron Matthews [link] 
Read 
More
Positive feedback 
We may not trust it 
We may even resent it 
We often praise the wrong things
Positive feedback 
Don’t praise to buffer criticism 
Use a soft start*
Positive feedback 
Don’t praise to overcome resistance 
Use other means of influence
Positive feedback 
Don’t praise ability 
Praise effort and persistence
Mindset 
Carol Dweck 
How do we feel about our abilities? 
How do we feel about our mistakes? 
Photo by Tuomas Puikkonen [link] 
Read 
More
Fixed Growth 
Talent & intelligence 
are inherent traits 
Mistakes are failures or 
character flaws 
Negative emotional 
response to mistakes 
Talent & intelligence 
can be developed 
Mistakes are learning 
opportunities 
Pay close attention to 
mistakes & learn 
more 
Mindset 
Read 
More 
Adapted from Carol Dweck
Soft start 
Photo by Phil McElhinney [link] 
Not like this
Soft start 
Photo by OakleyOriginals [link] 
Like this
Soft start 
Begin with positive intent 
(But don’t bullshit) 
Emphasize mutual goals 
Be mindful of your stress 
Read 
More
Concepts #5 
Emotional intelligence & groups 
Talking about feelings 
Group norms 
Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
EQ and groups 
Why care? 
Effective teams 
Participation, cooperation, collaboration 
Can’t mandate behavior 
Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link] 
Read 
More
EQ and groups 
Essential conditions… 
Mutual trust 
Group identity (feeling of belonging) 
Group efficacy (belief in value of the team) 
Strongly affected by group EQ 
Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
EQ and groups 
Individual EQ 
Emotional awareness 
Emotion regulation (≠ suppression) 
Inward (one’s own emotions) 
Outward (others’ emotions) 
Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
EQ and groups 
High EQ individuals ≠ High EQ group 
Group norms determine group EQ 
Create awareness of emotion 
Help regulate emotion 
Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
Teams as 
Photo by popofatticus [link] 
human systems 
Think about how you show up on this team… 
How aware are you of your emotions? 
How aware are you of others’ emotions?
Talking about 
Affect labeling 
Amygdala 
Talking disrupts negative emotion 
Talking about emotion > Thinking about emotion 
feelings 
Photo by Andrew Yee [link] 
Read 
More
Talking about 
Group norms 
Norms define what’s normative 
Can we talk about feelings here? 
Overcome embarrassment 
feelings 
Photo by Andrew Yee [link]
Our norms 
Photo by jm3 [link]
Our norms 
Consider this team’s norms 
Create awareness of emotions 
Help regulate emotions 
Photo by jm3 [link]
Norms that create 
awareness 
We never… We always… 
1. Spend time getting to know 
others personally.
Norms that create 
awareness 
We never… We always… 
2. Regularly ask how others are doing.
Norms that create 
awareness 
We never… We always… 
3. Share thoughts and emotions 
with others in the moment.
Norms that create 
awareness 
We never… We always… 
4. Ask others who have been quiet 
in a discussion what they think.
Norms that create 
awareness 
We never… We always… 
5. Fully explore others’ resistance 
to our decisions.
Norms that create 
awareness 
We never… We always… 
6. Set aside time to discuss and evaluate 
our own effectiveness.
Norms that create 
awareness 
We never… We always… 
7. Acknowledge and discuss the feeling 
in the group in the moment.
Norms that help 
regulate 
We never… We always… 
1. Have clear ground rules for productive 
behavior in meetings.
Norms that help 
regulate 
We never… We always… 
2. Call out behavior that violates 
those ground rules.
Norms that help 
regulate 
We never… We always… 
3. Express acceptance of 
others’ emotions.
Norms that help 
regulate 
We never… We always… 
4. Make time to discuss difficulties within the team 
and the emotions they generate.
Norms that help 
regulate 
We never… We always… 
5. Use playfulness to acknowledge 
and relieve stress.
Norms that help 
regulate 
We never… We always… 
6. Express optimism about 
the team’s capabilities.
Norms that help 
regulate 
We never… We always… 
7. Provide others with positive 
feedback in the moment.
Our norms 
What did we just learn? 
What might we do as a team? 
Photo by jm3 [link]
Closing 
Photo by Todd Jones [link]
Challenge 
yourself 
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]
For more info… 
Building a Feedback-Rich Culture 
HBR Guide to Coaching Your Employees 
My background & coaching practice: 
www.edbatista.com/about.html 
Contact me: 
www.edbatista.com/contact.html

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Team Effectiveness, August 2014

  • 1. Team Photo by popofatticus [link] Effectiveness Ed Batista August 21, 2014
  • 2. Photo: Seth Anderson Who am I? Executive coach Instructor @ Stanford GSB HBR: blogs.hbr.org/ed-batista www.edbatista.com
  • 3. Where are we Feedback skills Group norms Photo by Alex Eflon [link] going?
  • 4. How will we get there? Concepts (~70 mins) Exercises, debriefs & feedback (~2 hrs 10 mins) Photo by Chloe Fan [link]
  • 5. Teams as Photo by popofatticus [link] human systems Feedback = learning Feels awkward (even here) Group norms matter
  • 6. Teams as Photo by popofatticus [link] human systems Think about this team… How are you communicating? How would you like to communicate?
  • 7. Concepts #1 Today’s headline The simplest feedback model Feelings Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
  • 8. The headline Feedback is stressful So critique with care & express more heartfelt appreciation Photo by Garry Knight [link] Read More
  • 9. The simplest feedback model When you do [X], I feel [Y]. Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
  • 10. The simplest feedback model When you do [X], I feel [Y].
  • 11. Feelings Disclosing feelings = vulnerable But feelings  influence And vulnerability  closeness Comfort with discomfort Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]
  • 12. Concepts #2 5 levels Hierarchy of needs Safety, trust, intimacy Social threat SCARF model Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
  • 13. 5 levels Richard Francisco In what ways do we communicate? Increasing levels of difficulty, risk & learning Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
  • 14. 5 levels 1: Ritual 2: Extended Ritual 3: Content 4: Feelings About Content 5: Feelings About Each Other Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
  • 15. 5 levels Hardest Riskiest Most powerful for feedback 5: Feelings About Each Other Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
  • 16. Hierarchy of needs Abraham Maslow What motivates us as human beings? Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
  • 17. Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Self-actualization Esteem Love & belonging Safety Physiological
  • 18. Hierarchy of needs Parallels in groups & relationships Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
  • 19. Hierarchy of needs Learning, self-awareness & change Psychological safety, trust & intimacy Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Experiments, risk-taking & vulnerability In groups & relationships…
  • 20. Teams as Photo by popofatticus [link] human systems Think about your interactions on this team… What enhances safety, trust & intimacy? What undermines them?
  • 21. Safety, trust, Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link] intimacy Read More
  • 22. Safety, trust, intimacy Safety = I won’t get hurt Trust = I believe you & you believe me Intimacy = We can make the private public
  • 23. Safety, trust, intimacy Feedback can create these conditions But there’s a problem…
  • 24. Can I give you some feedback? Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link]
  • 25. Feedback and Photo by Mykl Roventine [link] social threat
  • 26. Threat response aka “Fight, flight or freeze” Physiological Photo by State Farm [link]
  • 27. Threat response aka “Fight, flight or freeze” Emotional Photo by State Farm [link]
  • 28. Threat response aka “Fight, flight or freeze” Cognitive Decision-making Problem-solving Collaboration Photo by State Farm [link]
  • 29. Social threat (Some) social situations ≈ Physical threats Many times/day Most common location?
  • 30. Social threat Physiological/emotional response plus… Cognitive impairment Decision-making Problem-solving Collaboration Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
  • 31. Social threat Result? Massive communication failure We give feedback ineffectively We receive it poorly Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
  • 32. SCARF model Photo by Andrew Vargas [link] Read More David Rock What social situations trigger a threat response?
  • 33. SCARF model David Rock How can we minimize the risk of social threat? How can we create safety? Photo by Andrew Vargas [link]
  • 34. SCARF model Status Certainty Autonomy Relatedness Fairness Read More
  • 35. Use the model When giving feedback… Be mindful of status Minimize uncertainty Maximize autonomy Build the relationship* Play fair* Photo by Andrew Vargas [link]
  • 36. Use the model When getting feedback… Cultivate in-the-moment awareness Recognize our threat response Manage our emotions Slow things down
  • 37. Concepts #3 Relationships The net Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
  • 38. Relationships John Gottman What characterizes successful relationships? Photo by Harsha KR [link] Read More
  • 39. Relationships Feeling known by the other A culture of appreciation Responding to “bids” Mutual influence
  • 40. Relationships 5:1 positive to negative “Emotional bank account” & conflict Photo by Connor Tartar [link]
  • 41. Teams as Photo by popofatticus [link] human systems Think about your teammates… How’s your emotional bank account? What are you doing to build the relationship?
  • 42. The net Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
  • 43. The net David Bradford How to improve communication? How to minimize defensiveness? How can we play fair? Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
  • 44. The net Me You Your response My behavior My intention
  • 45. What I know Me My intention My behavior
  • 46. What I don’t You Your response
  • 47. What you know You Your response My behavior
  • 48. What you don’t Me My intention
  • 49. Use the model Intent ≠ impact My intention doesn’t guarantee your response Impact ≠ intent Your response wasn’t necessarily my intention
  • 50. Use the model Stay on our side of the net Focus on observed behavior Disclose our response When you do [X], I feel [Y].
  • 51. Use the model Result? Lower risk of social threat Less chance of defensiveness Increased sense of fairness
  • 52. Teams as Photo by popofatticus [link] human systems Think about your teammates… When do you cross their net? When do they cross yours?
  • 53. To sum up Build safety, trust & intimacy Use the models Minimize social threat Less stressful feedback More learning Photo by Pranav Yaddanapudi [link]
  • 54. Concepts #4 Positive feedback Mindset Soft start Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
  • 55. Positive feedback A paradox So important So often ineffective What’s wrong? Photo by Aaron Matthews [link] Read More
  • 56. Positive feedback We may not trust it We may even resent it We often praise the wrong things
  • 57. Positive feedback Don’t praise to buffer criticism Use a soft start*
  • 58. Positive feedback Don’t praise to overcome resistance Use other means of influence
  • 59. Positive feedback Don’t praise ability Praise effort and persistence
  • 60. Mindset Carol Dweck How do we feel about our abilities? How do we feel about our mistakes? Photo by Tuomas Puikkonen [link] Read More
  • 61. Fixed Growth Talent & intelligence are inherent traits Mistakes are failures or character flaws Negative emotional response to mistakes Talent & intelligence can be developed Mistakes are learning opportunities Pay close attention to mistakes & learn more Mindset Read More Adapted from Carol Dweck
  • 62. Soft start Photo by Phil McElhinney [link] Not like this
  • 63. Soft start Photo by OakleyOriginals [link] Like this
  • 64. Soft start Begin with positive intent (But don’t bullshit) Emphasize mutual goals Be mindful of your stress Read More
  • 65. Concepts #5 Emotional intelligence & groups Talking about feelings Group norms Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
  • 66. EQ and groups Why care? Effective teams Participation, cooperation, collaboration Can’t mandate behavior Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link] Read More
  • 67. EQ and groups Essential conditions… Mutual trust Group identity (feeling of belonging) Group efficacy (belief in value of the team) Strongly affected by group EQ Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
  • 68. EQ and groups Individual EQ Emotional awareness Emotion regulation (≠ suppression) Inward (one’s own emotions) Outward (others’ emotions) Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
  • 69. EQ and groups High EQ individuals ≠ High EQ group Group norms determine group EQ Create awareness of emotion Help regulate emotion Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
  • 70. Teams as Photo by popofatticus [link] human systems Think about how you show up on this team… How aware are you of your emotions? How aware are you of others’ emotions?
  • 71. Talking about Affect labeling Amygdala Talking disrupts negative emotion Talking about emotion > Thinking about emotion feelings Photo by Andrew Yee [link] Read More
  • 72. Talking about Group norms Norms define what’s normative Can we talk about feelings here? Overcome embarrassment feelings Photo by Andrew Yee [link]
  • 73. Our norms Photo by jm3 [link]
  • 74. Our norms Consider this team’s norms Create awareness of emotions Help regulate emotions Photo by jm3 [link]
  • 75. Norms that create awareness We never… We always… 1. Spend time getting to know others personally.
  • 76. Norms that create awareness We never… We always… 2. Regularly ask how others are doing.
  • 77. Norms that create awareness We never… We always… 3. Share thoughts and emotions with others in the moment.
  • 78. Norms that create awareness We never… We always… 4. Ask others who have been quiet in a discussion what they think.
  • 79. Norms that create awareness We never… We always… 5. Fully explore others’ resistance to our decisions.
  • 80. Norms that create awareness We never… We always… 6. Set aside time to discuss and evaluate our own effectiveness.
  • 81. Norms that create awareness We never… We always… 7. Acknowledge and discuss the feeling in the group in the moment.
  • 82. Norms that help regulate We never… We always… 1. Have clear ground rules for productive behavior in meetings.
  • 83. Norms that help regulate We never… We always… 2. Call out behavior that violates those ground rules.
  • 84. Norms that help regulate We never… We always… 3. Express acceptance of others’ emotions.
  • 85. Norms that help regulate We never… We always… 4. Make time to discuss difficulties within the team and the emotions they generate.
  • 86. Norms that help regulate We never… We always… 5. Use playfulness to acknowledge and relieve stress.
  • 87. Norms that help regulate We never… We always… 6. Express optimism about the team’s capabilities.
  • 88. Norms that help regulate We never… We always… 7. Provide others with positive feedback in the moment.
  • 89. Our norms What did we just learn? What might we do as a team? Photo by jm3 [link]
  • 90. Closing Photo by Todd Jones [link]
  • 91. Challenge yourself Photo by Daniel Oines [link]
  • 92. For more info… Building a Feedback-Rich Culture HBR Guide to Coaching Your Employees My background & coaching practice: www.edbatista.com/about.html Contact me: www.edbatista.com/contact.html