This is a condensed slide deck from a workshop I did with a senior team at a technology company aimed at helping them communicate and work together more effectively. I've deleted the slides for the exercises we conducted, leaving the slides related to the concepts we discussed.
11. Feelings
Disclosing feelings = vulnerable
But feelings influence
And vulnerability closeness
Comfort with discomfort
Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]
12. Concepts #2
5 levels
Hierarchy of needs
Safety, trust, intimacy
Social threat
SCARF model
Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
13. 5 levels
Richard Francisco
In what ways do we communicate?
Increasing levels of difficulty, risk & learning
Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
14. 5 levels
1: Ritual
2: Extended Ritual
3: Content
4: Feelings About Content
5: Feelings About Each Other
Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
15. 5 levels
Hardest
Riskiest
Most powerful for feedback
5: Feelings About Each Other
Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
16. Hierarchy of needs
Abraham Maslow
What motivates us as human beings?
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
17. Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Self-actualization
Esteem
Love & belonging
Safety
Physiological
18. Hierarchy of needs
Parallels in groups & relationships
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
19. Hierarchy of needs
Learning, self-awareness
& change
Psychological safety, trust & intimacy
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Experiments, risk-taking &
vulnerability
In groups & relationships…
20. Teams as
Photo by popofatticus [link]
human systems
Think about your interactions on this team…
What enhances safety, trust & intimacy?
What undermines them?
35. Use the model
When giving feedback…
Be mindful of status
Minimize uncertainty
Maximize autonomy
Build the relationship*
Play fair*
Photo by Andrew Vargas [link]
36. Use the model
When getting feedback…
Cultivate in-the-moment awareness
Recognize our threat response
Manage our emotions
Slow things down
40. Relationships
5:1 positive to negative
“Emotional bank account”
& conflict
Photo by Connor Tartar [link]
41. Teams as
Photo by popofatticus [link]
human systems
Think about your teammates…
How’s your emotional bank account?
What are you doing to build the relationship?
49. Use the model
Intent ≠ impact
My intention doesn’t guarantee your response
Impact ≠ intent
Your response wasn’t necessarily my intention
50. Use the model
Stay on our side of the net
Focus on observed behavior
Disclose our response
When you do [X], I feel [Y].
51. Use the model
Result?
Lower risk of social threat
Less chance of defensiveness
Increased sense of fairness
52. Teams as
Photo by popofatticus [link]
human systems
Think about your teammates…
When do you cross their net?
When do they cross yours?
53. To sum up
Build safety, trust & intimacy
Use the models
Minimize social threat
Less stressful feedback
More learning
Photo by Pranav Yaddanapudi [link]
60. Mindset
Carol Dweck
How do we feel about our abilities?
How do we feel about our mistakes?
Photo by Tuomas Puikkonen [link]
Read
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61. Fixed Growth
Talent & intelligence
are inherent traits
Mistakes are failures or
character flaws
Negative emotional
response to mistakes
Talent & intelligence
can be developed
Mistakes are learning
opportunities
Pay close attention to
mistakes & learn
more
Mindset
Read
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Adapted from Carol Dweck
64. Soft start
Begin with positive intent
(But don’t bullshit)
Emphasize mutual goals
Be mindful of your stress
Read
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65. Concepts #5
Emotional intelligence & groups
Talking about feelings
Group norms
Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
66. EQ and groups
Why care?
Effective teams
Participation, cooperation, collaboration
Can’t mandate behavior
Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
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67. EQ and groups
Essential conditions…
Mutual trust
Group identity (feeling of belonging)
Group efficacy (belief in value of the team)
Strongly affected by group EQ
Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
68. EQ and groups
Individual EQ
Emotional awareness
Emotion regulation (≠ suppression)
Inward (one’s own emotions)
Outward (others’ emotions)
Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
69. EQ and groups
High EQ individuals ≠ High EQ group
Group norms determine group EQ
Create awareness of emotion
Help regulate emotion
Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
70. Teams as
Photo by popofatticus [link]
human systems
Think about how you show up on this team…
How aware are you of your emotions?
How aware are you of others’ emotions?
71. Talking about
Affect labeling
Amygdala
Talking disrupts negative emotion
Talking about emotion > Thinking about emotion
feelings
Photo by Andrew Yee [link]
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72. Talking about
Group norms
Norms define what’s normative
Can we talk about feelings here?
Overcome embarrassment
feelings
Photo by Andrew Yee [link]
92. For more info…
Building a Feedback-Rich Culture
HBR Guide to Coaching Your Employees
My background & coaching practice:
www.edbatista.com/about.html
Contact me:
www.edbatista.com/contact.html