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Practical Coaching Skills for Managers
 (DA1067 )
9 Traits of Effective Teams (dvd-
 41042DVD or cd 10292CD)
New Relationship Strategies (14321CD )
Assertive Communication (dvd 41104DVD
 or cd 10173CD )
Strength Finder 2.0 (Amazon)
Use Discount Code 2316   www.Pryor.com
The Impacts of Conflict
 Stress,frustration, & anxiety
 Loss of sleep
 Strained relationships
 Grievances and litigation
 Presenteeism
 Employee turnover
The Impacts of Conflict
 Loss  of productivity
 Increased client complaints
 Absenteeism
 Sabotage
 Injury and accidents
 Disability claims
 Sick leave
   Less stress
   Balances power
   More honest relationships
   Your communication is clearer and
    more impactful
   Career advancement
1. Know what you do not like about yourself.
    This can be a trigger for you with others.
2. Be professional, maintain your composure. If you
    and/or another person are getting upset, attempt
    to remain calm:

•   Speak to the person as if the other person is not
    upset – this can be very effective.
•   Avoid use of the word “you” – this avoids your
    appearing to be blaming the person.
•   Nod your head to assure the person that you heard
    him/her.
•   Maintain eye contact with the person.
3. Move the discussion to where others cannot hear.
4. Allow the other person time to speak.
   Do not interrupt the or judge what is being said. Remain
    open.

5. Make sure you are accurately understanding one
  another.

   Ask the person to let you repeat without interruption what
    you heard to determine you are understanding correctly.

   To understand the person more, ask open-ended questions
    (Do not use “why” questions –often it puts people on the
    defensive).
6. Repeat the above step, for the other to determine
  they are understanding you.

Describe your perspective:
   Avoid “you” statements- use “I” language.
   Use terms of the present as much as possible.
   Briefly touch on your feelings.

7. Acknowledge what you disagree & agree on.
   It is very powerful to focus on where you both agree.
8. Discuss the matter on which you disagree, not the
  nature of the other person.
   Ask “What can we do fix the problem?” Focus on
    collaboration and solutions.
   If the other complains or turns negative, then ask the same
    question. Focus on actions you both can do.
   Ask the other person if they will support the action(s).
   If the person will not, then ask for a “cooling off period”.

9. Thank the person for working with you.
   It takes patience for a person to engage in meaningful
    conversation during conflict. Acknowledge and thank the
    other person for their effort.
10. If the situation remains a conflict, then:

   Conclude if the other person’s behavior violates
    one of the personnel policies and procedures in
    the workplace and if it does, then follow the
    policy’s terms for addressing that violation.
   Otherwise, consider whether to agree to disagree.
   Consider seeking a third party to mediate.
Resource for Your ACTion Plan:
  www.ChangingMinds.org
    Using Body Language




 Resource for Your ACTion Plan:
        Active Listening
     www.MindTools.com
Bonus Information
 Less stress

 Fewer conflicts

 Effective communication allows for needs to
 be met

 Knows how to say “No”
An excessive workload

Concerns about management’s ability to
lead the company forward successfully
Anxiety about the future, particular longer-
term job, income and retirement security

Lack of challenge in their work, with
boredom intensifying existing frustration
about workload
Insufficient recognition for the level of
contribution and effort provided, and
concerns that pay isn’t commensurate with
performance.
Bonus Information
1)   Let people make decisions about and
     control and/or influence their job.

2)   Allow opportunities or people to
     express their opinion about workplace
     policies and procedures. (anonymous)

3)   Treat people as adults with fairness
     and consistency.
Bonus Information
4)   Do not create “rules” for all employees,
     when just a few people are creating the
     situation.

5)   Help people feel like members of the inner
     circle; each person wants to have the same
     information as quickly as everyone else.

6)   Encourage and support people the
     opportunity to grow and develop.
Bonus Information

7)   Provide appropriate rewards and
     recognition so people feel their
     contribution is valued.

8)   Ask yourself “What’s your own
     mindset?”

9)   Bring humor into the situation- get
     them laughing.
Acknowledge their expertise
Ask if there may be, if it is a possibility that…could work
Do not question authority
Do not threaten the ego
Show Policies, Procedures & Laws
Explain it is not personal
Offer a set of solutions- allow them to pick/have input
Reinforce the “buy-in”
Explain what the consequences are of not following
through
Book Suggestion:

Hot Buttons: How to
 Resolve Conflict and
 Cool Everyone Down

   Amazon.com
Use “I” messages- Examples
When I'm....
When I....
I think that I....
I feel that I....
My concern is...
When I'm shouted at I....
When I'm sworn at I....
When I'm pushed around I....
When I think I'm not being heard I....
Ask yourself the following when
 preparing your communication:

   Does this need to be said?
   Does it need to be said by me?
   Does it need to be said by me right
    now?
   Is this coming from a place of respect &
    kindness?
   Will it leave both of us honored &
    respected.
   Deal with conflict in a timely manner

   Keep information about the conflict
    confidential

   Take responsibility for personal change

   Focus on problem solving
Get in ACTion and Stay in
         ACTion!

Thank you for your time &
     participation!!!!

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Dealing with difficult people slide share

  • 1. Practical Coaching Skills for Managers (DA1067 ) 9 Traits of Effective Teams (dvd- 41042DVD or cd 10292CD) New Relationship Strategies (14321CD ) Assertive Communication (dvd 41104DVD or cd 10173CD ) Strength Finder 2.0 (Amazon) Use Discount Code 2316 www.Pryor.com
  • 2. The Impacts of Conflict  Stress,frustration, & anxiety  Loss of sleep  Strained relationships  Grievances and litigation  Presenteeism  Employee turnover
  • 3. The Impacts of Conflict  Loss of productivity  Increased client complaints  Absenteeism  Sabotage  Injury and accidents  Disability claims  Sick leave
  • 4. Less stress  Balances power  More honest relationships  Your communication is clearer and more impactful  Career advancement
  • 5. 1. Know what you do not like about yourself. This can be a trigger for you with others. 2. Be professional, maintain your composure. If you and/or another person are getting upset, attempt to remain calm: • Speak to the person as if the other person is not upset – this can be very effective. • Avoid use of the word “you” – this avoids your appearing to be blaming the person. • Nod your head to assure the person that you heard him/her. • Maintain eye contact with the person.
  • 6. 3. Move the discussion to where others cannot hear. 4. Allow the other person time to speak.  Do not interrupt the or judge what is being said. Remain open. 5. Make sure you are accurately understanding one another.  Ask the person to let you repeat without interruption what you heard to determine you are understanding correctly.  To understand the person more, ask open-ended questions (Do not use “why” questions –often it puts people on the defensive).
  • 7. 6. Repeat the above step, for the other to determine they are understanding you. Describe your perspective:  Avoid “you” statements- use “I” language.  Use terms of the present as much as possible.  Briefly touch on your feelings. 7. Acknowledge what you disagree & agree on.  It is very powerful to focus on where you both agree.
  • 8. 8. Discuss the matter on which you disagree, not the nature of the other person.  Ask “What can we do fix the problem?” Focus on collaboration and solutions.  If the other complains or turns negative, then ask the same question. Focus on actions you both can do.  Ask the other person if they will support the action(s).  If the person will not, then ask for a “cooling off period”. 9. Thank the person for working with you.  It takes patience for a person to engage in meaningful conversation during conflict. Acknowledge and thank the other person for their effort.
  • 9. 10. If the situation remains a conflict, then:  Conclude if the other person’s behavior violates one of the personnel policies and procedures in the workplace and if it does, then follow the policy’s terms for addressing that violation.  Otherwise, consider whether to agree to disagree.  Consider seeking a third party to mediate.
  • 10. Resource for Your ACTion Plan: www.ChangingMinds.org Using Body Language Resource for Your ACTion Plan: Active Listening www.MindTools.com
  • 11.
  • 12. Bonus Information  Less stress  Fewer conflicts  Effective communication allows for needs to be met  Knows how to say “No”
  • 13. An excessive workload Concerns about management’s ability to lead the company forward successfully Anxiety about the future, particular longer- term job, income and retirement security Lack of challenge in their work, with boredom intensifying existing frustration about workload Insufficient recognition for the level of contribution and effort provided, and concerns that pay isn’t commensurate with performance.
  • 14. Bonus Information 1) Let people make decisions about and control and/or influence their job. 2) Allow opportunities or people to express their opinion about workplace policies and procedures. (anonymous) 3) Treat people as adults with fairness and consistency.
  • 15. Bonus Information 4) Do not create “rules” for all employees, when just a few people are creating the situation. 5) Help people feel like members of the inner circle; each person wants to have the same information as quickly as everyone else. 6) Encourage and support people the opportunity to grow and develop.
  • 16. Bonus Information 7) Provide appropriate rewards and recognition so people feel their contribution is valued. 8) Ask yourself “What’s your own mindset?” 9) Bring humor into the situation- get them laughing.
  • 17. Acknowledge their expertise Ask if there may be, if it is a possibility that…could work Do not question authority Do not threaten the ego
  • 18. Show Policies, Procedures & Laws Explain it is not personal Offer a set of solutions- allow them to pick/have input Reinforce the “buy-in” Explain what the consequences are of not following through
  • 19. Book Suggestion: Hot Buttons: How to Resolve Conflict and Cool Everyone Down Amazon.com
  • 20. Use “I” messages- Examples When I'm.... When I.... I think that I.... I feel that I.... My concern is...
  • 21. When I'm shouted at I.... When I'm sworn at I.... When I'm pushed around I.... When I think I'm not being heard I....
  • 22. Ask yourself the following when preparing your communication:  Does this need to be said?  Does it need to be said by me?  Does it need to be said by me right now?  Is this coming from a place of respect & kindness?  Will it leave both of us honored & respected.
  • 23. Deal with conflict in a timely manner  Keep information about the conflict confidential  Take responsibility for personal change  Focus on problem solving
  • 24. Get in ACTion and Stay in ACTion! Thank you for your time & participation!!!!