Sunday School Lesson

1. 2 Samuel 18-19
David’s Family at War – Part 3
“Forgiveness”
July 29, 2018
First Baptist Church
Jackson, Mississippi
USA
What’s the number one thing?
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The Glory of God!
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1 Corinthians 10:31 NKJV
31 Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of
God.
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2. July Memory Verse
Psalm 73:25-26 NIV
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Pray for the Pastor Search Committee.
• Doug Gunn, Chairman (PastorSearchCommittee@FBCJ.org)
• Lenora Bigler
• Dottie Hudson
• David Maron
• Jim Merritt, Jr.
• Elizabeth Rich
• Mallory Rosamond
• Don Waller
• Jeff Zachary
References
• Kendall, R. T., Total Forgiveness (Lake Mary, FL, 2004).
• Barker, Kenneth, The NIV Study Bible, (Grand Rapids, Zondervan, 1985).
• Walton, John H., and Keener, Craig S., NKJV New Cultural Backgrounds
Study Bible (Grand Rapids, Zondervan, 2017).
The Prophecy for Consequence of David’s Sins
• God’s punishment for the death of Uriah and adultery with Bathsheba.
• 2 Samuel 12:10 NIV
10 Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because
you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.’
Introduction to 2 Samuel 18-19
• Absalom, David’s son, has tried to overthrow his father as King.
• Absalom has captured Jerusalem and declared himself king of Israel.
• David fled Jerusalem and is exiled in Mahanaim with his army.
Description of Absalom
2 Samuel 14:25-26 NIV
25 In all Israel there was not a man so highly praised for his handsome
appearance as Absalom. From the top of his head to the sole of his foot there
was no blemish in him. 26 Whenever he cut the hair of his head—he used to cut
his hair once a year because it became too heavy for him—he would weigh it,
and its weight was two hundred shekels by the royal standard (5 pounds).

3. 2 Samuel 18:1-5 NIV
1 David mustered the men who were with him and appointed over them
commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds. 2 David sent out his
troops, a third under the command of Joab, a third under Joab’s brother Abishai
son of Zeruiah, and a third under Ittai the Gittite. The king told the troops, “I
myself will surely march out with you.”
3 But the men said, “You must not go out; if we are forced to flee, they won’t care
about us. Even if half of us die, they won’t care; but you are worth ten thousand
of us. It would be better now for you to give us support from the city.”
4 The king answered, “I will do whatever seems best to you.”
So the king stood beside the gate while all his men marched out in units of
hundreds and of thousands. 5 The king commanded Joab, Abishai and Ittai, “Be
gentle with the young man Absalom for my sake.” And all the troops heard the
king giving orders concerning Absalom to each of the commanders.
2 Samuel 18:1-5 NIV
• David probably viewed his son as a youthful rebel who could be forgiven.
• The soldiers viewed him as the enemy.

4. 2 Samuel 18:6-18 NIV
6 David’s army marched out of the city to fight Israel, and the battle took place in
the forest of Ephraim. 7 There Israel’s troops were routed by David’s men, and the
casualties that day were great—twenty thousand men. 8 The battle spread out
over the whole countryside, and the forest swallowed up more men that day
than the sword.
Forest of Ephraim
9 Now Absalom happened to meet David’s men. He was riding his mule, and as
the mule went under the thick branches of a large oak, Absalom’s hair got
caught in the tree. He was left hanging in midair, while the mule he was riding
kept on going.
10 When one of the men saw what had happened, he told Joab, “I just saw
Absalom hanging in an oak tree.”
11 Joab said to the man who had told him this, “What! You saw him? Why didn’t
you strike him to the ground right there? Then I would have had to give you ten
shekels of silver and a warrior’s belt.”
12 But the man replied, “Even if a thousand shekels were weighed out into my
hands, I would not lay a hand on the king’s son. In our hearing the king
commanded you and Abishai and Ittai, ‘Protect the young man Absalom for my
sake.’ 13 And if I had put my life in jeopardy—and nothing is hidden from the
king—you would have kept your distance from me.”
14 Joab said, “I’m not going to wait like this for you.” So he took three javelins in
his hand and plunged them into Absalom’s heart while Absalom was still alive in
the oak tree. 15 And ten of Joab’s armor-bearers surrounded Absalom, struck him
and killed him.

5. 16 Then Joab sounded the trumpet, and the troops stopped pursuing Israel, for
Joab halted them. 17 They took Absalom, threw him into a big pit in the forest and
piled up a large heap of rocks over him. Meanwhile, all the Israelites fled to their
homes.
18 During his lifetime Absalom had taken a pillar and erected it in the King’s
Valley as a monument to himself, for he thought, “I have no son to carry on the
memory of my name.” He named the pillar after himself, and it is called
Absalom’s Monument to this day.
2 Samuel 18:6-18 NIV
Absalom’s Monument (Pillar) in Kidron Valley
• Skip to v. 31 when David is informed about Absalom.
2 Samuel 18:31-32 NIV
31 Then the Cushite arrived and said, “My lord the king, hear the good news! The
Lord has vindicated you today by delivering you from the hand of all who rose
up against you.”
32 The king asked the Cushite, “Is the young man Absalom safe?”
The Cushite replied, “May the enemies of my lord the king and all who rise up to
harm you be like that young man.”
33 The king was shaken. He went up to the room over the gateway and wept. As
he went, he said: “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had
died instead of you—O Absalom, my son, my son!”
2 Samuel 18:31-32 NIV
• David repeats “my son” 5 times in this verse.

6. 2 Samuel 19:1-8 NIV
1 Joab was told, “The king is weeping and mourning for Absalom.” 2 And for the
whole army the victory that day was turned into mourning, because on that day
the troops heard it said, “The king is grieving for his son.” 3 The men stole into the
city that day as men steal in who are ashamed when they flee from battle. 4 The
king covered his face and cried aloud, “O my son Absalom! O Absalom, my
son, my son!”
• David’s troops take his response as a defeat instead of a victory even
though Absalom has just been killed.
5 Then Joab went into the house to the king and said, “Today you have
humiliated all your men, who have just saved your life and the lives of your sons
and daughters and the lives of your wives and concubines. 6 You love those who
hate you and hate those who love you. You have made it clear today that the
commanders and their men mean nothing to you. I see that you would be
pleased if Absalom were alive today and all of us were dead. 7 Now go out and
encourage your men. I swear by the Lord that if you don’t go out, not a man will
be left with you by nightfall. This will be worse for you than all the calamities that
have come on you from your youth till now.”
8 So the king got up and took his seat in the gateway. When the men were told,
“The king is sitting in the gateway,” they all came before him.
Meanwhile, the Israelites had fled to their homes.
2 Samuel 19:1-8 NIV
Summary of 2 Samuel 19:9-15
• David asks the rulers of his tribe Judah to take the initiative in restoring his
rule as king.
• David replaces Joab with Amasa as commander of the army to attempt
uniting both armies.
• Word was sent to David, “Return, you and all of your men.”
Summary of 2 Samuel 19:16-30
• As David returns Shimei (Saul’s relative) greets him at the Jordan and asks
for forgiveness for cursing and throwing rocks as David fled Jerusalem.
• Mephibosheth (Saul’s grandson) comes to meet David and is asked why
he chose to stay with Absalom.
• Mephibosheth realizes that Ziba, his caregiver, betrayed him about loyalty
to Absalom.

7. Conclusion of 2 Samuel 18-19
• David returns to Jerusalem but has to re-establish the army and his
authority.
• Shimei is forgiven by David for cursing and also throwing rocks at him.
• Mephibosheth is restored to his position at David’s table and Saul’s lands
returned to him and Ziba.
Some Emotions of David at this Time
• Mourning – Rebellious son killed by his own army.
• Failure – Rebellion of son; dysfunctional family and his own lack of self-
control.
• Insult/Anger – Rebellion and treason of others.
• Security – Peace that God was with him, regardless.
• Forgiveness – Forgiving himself and others for wrongs and trying to start
over.
Let’s look at forgiveness
• What is forgiveness?
• The act of releasing someone from a debt or obligation.
• Giving up my right to hurt you, for hurting me.
• To let go.
Outline of Lesson on Forgiveness –
R. T. Kendall in “Total Forgiveness”
1. What forgiveness is NOT.
2. What forgiveness IS.
3. Future Lesson – How to know we have totally forgiven.

8. Forgiveness – What it is Not!!
1. Forgiveness is NOT approval of what they did.
- God did not approve of Adam and Eve’s sin but He still made garments
of skin for them.
- John 8:11 - Jesus did not approve of the woman found in adultery, but
declared, “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
- When we forgive others, it does not imply an endorsement of their evil
deeds.
2. Forgiveness is NOT excusing what they did.
- We do not cover for the sins of other people.
- Forgiving someone does not excuse inappropriate behavior.
3. Forgiveness is NOT justifying what they did.
- To justify means “to make right or just.”
- God will never call anything that is evil as right, and He does not
require us to do so.
- We should never attempt to make what is wrong look like it is right.
4. Forgiveness is NOT pardoning what they did.
- A pardon is a legal transaction that releases the offender from the
consequences of their action.
- The criminal should pay his debt to society.
- Only God can pardon sin.
5. Forgiveness is NOT reconciliation.
- Forgiveness can occur without restoration of a relationship.
- Reconciliation requires the participation of two people.
- Full reconciliation cannot occur without forgiveness.
6. Forgiveness is NOT denying what they did.
- Denying that an offense took place (repression) can be an
unconscious act.
- Sometimes the pain is so great that we cannot deal with it on a
conscious level.
- Total forgiveness can only be offered when we come to terms with
reality – “This person actually did this to me!”
7. Forgiveness is NOT blindness to what happened.
- Blindness is a conscious choice to pretend that a sin never took place.
- Some believe that forgiveness is turning a “blind eye” to what
happened.
- Forgiveness is not pretending that something did not happen.

9. 8. Forgiveness is NOT forgetting.
- Can we really forgive and just forget?
- No.
- In forgiveness, forgetting means that we choose not to dwell on the
memory.
- This takes time to choose not to remember.
- Forgiveness is usually repetitive – the same person and often the same
offense.
9. Forgiveness is NOT refusing to take the wrong seriously.
- God takes all sins seriously.
- We should take all sins seriously and not laugh it off.
- God will forgive every sin (big and small), and so should we.
10.Forgiveness is NOT pretending that we are not hurt.
- We do not have to be non-emotional about the wrong.
- Forgiveness is not denying our pain or hurt.
What Forgiveness Is.
1. Forgiveness is being aware of what someone has done and still forgiving
them.
2. Forgiveness is choosing to keep no record of wrong.
‐ Psalm 130:3-4 NIV
3 If you, Lord, kept a record of sins,
Lord, who could stand?
4 But with you there is forgiveness,
so that we can, with reverence, serve you.
3. Forgiveness is refusing to punish.
‐ 1 John 4:18 NIV
18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear
has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in
love.
‐ You give up the natural desire for the person to be punished for what
they did to you.
4. Forgiveness is not telling others.
- The temptation for us is to gossip to others and discredit the person.
- Exception for our counselors and law enforcement.
- Proverbs 22:1 NIV
1 A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is
better than silver or gold.
5. Forgiveness is being merciful.
‐ Mercy is “compassion in action.”
‐ Matthew 5:7 NIV
7 Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.

10. 6. Forgiveness is graciousness.
- Graciousness is not having a “legalistic spirit.”
- Self-righteous people find it impossible to be gracious; they claim
always to be after “the truth”, no matter the cost.
7. Forgiveness is an inner condition.
- You can forgive someone with nothing in your circumstances or
surroundings changing.
- Most people we must forgive do not believe that they have done
anything wrong or know they offended us.
- Forgiveness is about me, not the offender.
8. Forgiveness is the absence of bitterness.
- Bitterness is the excessive desire for vengeance that comes from deep
resentment.
- Bitterness heads the list of things that grieves the Holy Spirit.
- Ephesians 4:30-31 NIV
30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed
for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger,
brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
9. Forgiveness is forgiving God.
- We believe that God is omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient and
could have prevented what happened.
- This is a true statement!
- We must trust God.
- Romans 8:28 NIV
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who
love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
10.Forgiveness is forgiving yourself.
‐ 1 John 1:9 NIV
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins
and purify us from all unrighteousness.
- Satan wants us to feel guilt even when God has forgiven our sin.
- Don’t rob yourself of the joy of God’s forgiveness.

11. The Plan of Hope & Salvation:
John 3:16 NKJV
16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever
believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”
John 14:6 NKJV
6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the
Father except through Me.”
Romans 3:23 NKJV
23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
Romans 6:23a NKJV
23a For the wages of sin is death,
• Death in this life (the first death) is 100%.
• Even Jesus, the one who doesn’t deserve death, died in this life to pay the
penalty for our sin.
• The death referred to in Romans 6:23a is the “second death” explained in
Revelation 21:8.
Revelation 21:8 NKJV
8 “But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral,
sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with
fire and brimstone, which is the second death.”
Romans 5:8 NKJV
8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners,
Christ died for us.

12. Romans 6:23b NKJV
23b but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Revelation 21:7 NKJV
7 “He who overcomes shall inherit all things, and I will be his God and he shall be
My son.”
• Romans 10:9-10 explains to us how to be overcomers.
Romans 10:9-10 NKJV
9 that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that
God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one
believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto
salvation.
Romans 10:13 NKJV
13 For “whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.”
Have questions or would like to know more?
Please, contact First Baptist Church Jackson at 601-949-1900 or
http://firstbaptistjackson.org/contact/