Presented by: Aleen Bayard and Valencia Ray, M.D.

1. Leadership Smarts: Career Management
Tips forYour Head…and Heart
SWE National Conference
October 23, 2013

2. Introductions
• Aleen Bayard
– Leadership capacity building through individuals and teams
– Faculty at Northwestern University & University of
Chicago
• Valencia Ray M.D.
- Performing at your very best w/less stress
- Practical neuroscience application business/life
• Group introduction at your table
– What is your intention for today?
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3. Workshop agenda
• Part 1: Leadership Smarts
• Part 11: YourToolkit
– Communication
– Consciousness
• Part III: Practice
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4. Rules of Engagement
• Balance disclosure with confidentiality
• Stay present –Smart Phone free zone
• Engage each other & challenge us
• Partner with us on time management
• We will use a Parking Lot to capture questions
as we go
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5. What does it mean to be a smart
leader?
• Feedback – the #1 trait of super leaders
• Blind spots – constrict ability to see and act
• Focus – code word for strategy
• Reflection – accessing your executive brain
• EQ – being aware and managing yours and
others‘ hot buttons
• Mobilizing right action – in self and others
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6. Your leadership challenges?
• As a STEM professional?
• As a woman?
• As a manager?
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7. Part II:Toolkit
 Communication
 Style
 Derailers
 EQ
 Consciousness
 State of Mind
 BrainTechnology
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8. Communication
Trained:
• Talk
• Left brain - process data
• Accomplish through clear
repetition
• Instructions
Develop:
• Listen
• Right brain – validate
sensing
• Accomplish through
rapport and style
• Agreements
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9. 9

10. Big gap
• Communication
• Performance
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11. What are your communication
challenges?
• Style – At times, I clash with others or feel
friction and tension with co-workers
• Managing Up – I can‘t seem to get a handle on
my supervisor‘s expectations
• Derailing – I lose my cool
• Candor – I have difficulty telling it like it is,
especially when I have to ‗confront‘ someone
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12. 12

13. Critical conversations
High risk, high reward
• Giving Effective Praise
• Delivering Criticism without Creating Conflict
• Making an Effective Apology
• Arguing without Offending
• Communicating to Resolve Conflict
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14. Giving Effective Praise
―Why should I compliment someone, if they
are just doing their job?‖
What is the difference between appreciation and
praise?
Are you in balance as a giver and receiver?
Praise encourages repetition - make sure you are
specific
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15. Does feedback necessarily involve
confrontation?
• Unfiltered observation is your truth, not the truth
– Action
– Emotion
– Impact
– Request
– Confirmation
• Feedback without a request is complaining
• Make sure to close the loop
• Refrain from back pedaling
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16. Best case feedback is….
• Timely, but not on the spot
• Heartfelt without being overly emotional
• Focuses on behavior not personality
• Molehills before mountains
• Set up
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17. General tips
• Cut to the chase – be straightforward
• Check your own filters, assumptions and bias‘s
when presenting the ‗facts‘
• Notice and address patterns
• Manage your tone and non-verbal messages
• Close the loop
• Ask, don‘t tell
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18. ―I‘m sorry‖ is not an apology
• What‘s the difference?
• Check-in on your emotional state v. offering
something to the other guy
• I‘m sorryYOU FEEL THAT WAY
• An authentic apology triggers forgiveness
– To give as before
– Restorative
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19. Arguing without offending
• Think about the heart of the issue – ask yourself
why?
• Frame your response to focus on the idea,
decision, rationale, impact…..rather than the
person
• Use your knowledge of the other guy‘s hot
buttons and pre-empt the danger zone
• When you get triggered, take a time out before
you respond
• “I” statements tend to diffuse
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20. Resolving conflict
• What we fight about is rarely what we fight
about
• Listen for……Words, Feelings,Values
• Probe the nature of resistance
– Fear
– Confusion
– Capacity
– Competing commitments
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21. Beyond words….
• Style
• Emotional intelligence – what is your face
saying?
• Filters – past experiences coupled with
assumptions, judgments and conclusions, that
can distort our current reality
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22. What is your default setting?
STEM mindset
• I think before I speak
• I tend to challenge and
question things
• I like a lot of data
• I rely on rationale to make
decisions
• I don‘t always trust people
that are too enthusiastic
• Shake my hand
• Write me
Marketing, Sales mindset
• I speak before I think
• I tend to accept things at
face value
• Just give me the bullet
points
• I go by my gut
• People that need all of the
facts frustrate me
• Give me a hug
• Call me
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23. Common disconnects
• Last minute, results-oriented, goes by the gut
leader gives a steady-as-she-goes linear thinker
with post-it-notes an emergency deliverable at
4:30 p.m.
• Visionary, high energy, charismatic team leader
shares a plan without any details to someone
known for precision, quality and metrics.
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24. Can I flex my style and still be ―authentic‖?
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25. How do you flex?
• Know yourself
• Know your audience
– Ask
• Anticipate what‘s missing and
concerns
• Respond the wayTHEY feel
• Focus on resultsWITH rapport
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26. The role of EQ
26
What you get by achieving your
goals is not as important as what
you become by achieving your
goals."
— Zig Ziglar

27. EQ is not a ‗soft skill‘
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EQ is so critical to
success that it accounts
for 58% of performance
in all types of jobs.
The link between EQ and
earnings is so direct that
every point increase in
EQ adds $1,300 to an
annual salary.

28. Self-
Awareness
Social
Awareness
Self-
Management
Relationship
Management
• Emotional
Self-Awareness
• Accurate
Self-Assessment
• Self-Confidence
• Empathy
• Organizational
Awareness
• Service Orientation
• Emotional Self-Control
• Transparency
• Adaptability
• Achievement
• Initiative
• Optimism
• Developing Others
• Inspirational
Leadership
• Influence
• Change Catalyst
• Conflict Management
• Teamwork &
Collaboration
Route to “Mastery”
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Copyright Materials © 2010, Dr. T. E. Maltbia: Columbia University Coaching Center of Excellence

29. Positive Impact
on Others
Self Others
AwarenessActions
Developmental Framework
Self-
Awareness
Social
Awareness
Self-
Management
Relationship
Management
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Copyright Materials © 2010, Dr. T. E. Maltbia: Columbia University Coaching Center of Excellence

30. What is the of Impact of Self-Awareness
on Self-Management?
Without Self-Awareness, a person has virtually no
chance of demonstrating Self-Management
With Self-Awareness, a person has a 50-50
chance of demonstrating Self-Management
Self Management
Self-
Awareness
N = 427, p < .001 (Burckle and Boyatzis, 1999)
Yes No
Yes 49% 51%
No 4% 96%
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Copyright Materials © 2010, Dr. T. E. Maltbia: Columbia University Coaching Center of Excellence

31. What is the Impact of Self-Awareness
on Social Awareness?
Without Self-Awareness, a person has an
83% chance of lacking Social Awareness
Social Awareness
Self-
Awareness
N = 427, p < .001 (Burckle and Boyatzis, 1999)
Yes No
Yes 38% 62%
No 17% 83%
With Self-Awareness, a person has a
38% chance of having Social Awareness
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32. 32
Leadership – Emotional Intelligence
& Self-Awareness
Leaders with high self-awareness:
Can speak accurately about their emotions and the impact they
have on work and relationships
Are comfortable talking about their strengths and limitations,
mistakes and setbacks, and learning
Are recognized by their self-confidence (not oversized ego!)
Know when to ask for help
Have a self-deprecating sense of humor
Are able to observe themselves in action — a first step in changing
behavior and improving performance
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Copyright Materials © 2010, Dr. T. E. Maltbia: Columbia University Coaching Center of Excellence

33. Epidemic: ―Two thirds of existing
managers are insufferable and half will
eventually be fired.‖
75%
38%
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34. Research findings
• Little consensus on good managers
• Strong convergence on bad ones
– Poor judgment
– Troubled relationships
– Weak team builders
– Failure to manage self or learn from mistakes
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35. Derailed executives: people who
were very successful in their
careers spanning 20 – 30 years and
reach very high levels but who, in
the eyes of the organization, did
not live up to their full potential
and their halted progression was
not voluntary.
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36. Observed behaviors
• Insensitivity – abrasive, intimidating, bully
• Cold – aloof, arrogant
• Betrayed trust
• Over managing – failure to delegate
• Overly ambitious
• Failure to staff effectively
• Unable to adapt to a boss with a different
style
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37. Hogan derailers
Measures a candidate’s personality-based performance risks
and derailers of interpersonal behavior. Details a
candidate’s inherent tendencies when under stress, pressure,
and/or bored.
High HDS scores, are prone to crossing the line from being… …. to seeming…
Excitable Intense & energetic Moody & prone to overreacting
Skeptical Perceptive & shrewd Cynical & mistrustful
Cautious Careful & thorough Extremely reluctant to take risks
Reserved Independent & businesslike Stoic & disconnected
Leisurely Cooperative & agreeable Covertly resistant & insincere
Bold Confident & assertive Stubborn, arrogant, & smug
Mischievous Charming & jocular Irreverent & untrustworthy
Colorful Outgoing & animated ―Showboating‖ & overwhelming
Imaginative Innovative & creative Off-the-wall & unrealistic
Diligent Detail oriented & hardworking Perfectionistic & demanding
Dutiful Supportive & loyal Ingratiating & deferential
© 2012 Hogan Assessment Systems, Inc.
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38. What triggers you?
Trigger event or person Your behavior Interaction with others
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39. Discovering your derailers
• Feedback
– Performance management conversations
– 360‘s
– Assessments [like DiSC or Hogan]
– Direct reports & supervisors
• Coaching
• Reflection
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40. How do you solicit feedback?
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41. 41

42. What do you really think?
• There are two big challenges with giving
feedback to successful people:
– They don‘t want to hear it
– We don‘t want to give it
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43. Wrapping up
• Communication is a critical element of your
leadership success
• Style > content
– Your level of EQ can foster or interfere with
getting along or getting ahead
– When you fail to self manage, you fall prey to
derailing
• Feedback is your best avenue to managing both
• These statements are directed at your behaviors
• Now we’ll look at your state of mind
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44. BREAK
44

45. Discussion Agenda
• Our state of mind’s impact on performance and
happiness
• Basic Neuroscience 101 as it relates to ―brain
awareness‖
• Accessing the AuthenticYou: EQ and Addressing
Negative Self-Talk

46. STATE OF MIND

49. STATES OF MIND
49
A Spectrum
Joy/Inner Peace Depression/InnerTurmoil

50. No Map?

51. 5 Principles to Perform atYour Best
1. Leadership by Example
2. Clarity ofVision
3. Passion Unlocks Potential
4. BeYOU, Magnificently.
5. Mind Maps with Agility

52. Today
• Principle 3: Passion Unlocks Potential
• Principle 4: BeYOU, Magnificently.

53. Pause

56. Conscious Mind
Subconscious/Unconscious Mind

57. Thoughts + Emotion (Perception) = Feelings => Actions
The Performance Equation

58. Perception Creates Reality

59. FEAR
• Fictitious
• Evidence
• Affecting
• Reality
(Resistance)

61. “One of the most important decisions you will
ever make is whether you live in a friendly or
hostile Universe”
~Albert Einstein

62. Neuroplasticity

63. The Science of Feelings

64. Pause

65. Art and Science
(Creativity Involves theWhole Brain)
Left Right
“Creativity is intelligence having fun” ~Albert Einstein
The 3 Levels of Brain Evolution
Our Brain’s Operating System
Horizontal Vertical
Horizontal System Vertical System

66. It is reasonable to assume we were given two brain hemispheres for
good reason. In fact, our reasoning abilities become better when we
integrate both sides of our brain as a team - two hemispheres really
are better than one.
~Valencia Ray, M.D.
Photo Courtesy RSA Animate - The Divided Brain

67. LT – External World Focus
Science

68. RT – InternalWorld Focus
Art

69. Feelings

70. “It’s technology married with liberal arts, married with the humanities,
that yields us the results that make our hearts sing”
~Steve Jobs

72. Intrapersonal Self-awareness Strategies
• Stop treating your feelings as
good or bad
• Make “friends with
emotion/feelings”
• Lean into your discomfort
• Pause, feel your feelings
(body/physically)
• Know Who andWhat pushes
your buttons
• Visit your values, purpose
(Purpose filter)
• Seek feedback – Mirror of
Life
• Get to know yourself under
stress
• Ask yourself “Why” you do
the things you do for clarity
sake

73. Pause

74. Principle 4: BeYOU, Magnificently.

75. Autobiographical Memory
Who do you think you are?
“Thinking bravely is about achieving personal clarity. It means
knowing yourself so you can effectively lead others.”
~Dean Sally Blunt, ‘92 Kellogg School of Management, Northwestern University

76. MINDSET
Getting a Grip on your Thinking (Survival Brain)

77. Name it and Retrain it
Exercise
Idiot! Stupid!
I‘ll
never... Dummy!
Loser! Fool!
Failure

78. 78

79. Self-regulation Strategies
• Breathe deeply
• Say,“I feel anger NOT I
am angry –Very
Important!
• Honest Self-Assessment
• Develop a Trusted
Advisor Relationship
• Smile and laugh more
• Manage your self-talk
• Visualize yourself
succeeding
• Don’t just sit there; stand
up!
• Set aside time for
problem solving/reflecting

80. Name It
Left Brain
• Call thought out
• Mentally recognize you are
separate from it.
Retrain it
Right Brain
•Positive Self Talk – Script
•Positive (bait/switch) feelings
•Ideal Future Self Image
All theWorld’s a Stage...

81. BREAK
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82. Part III: Practice
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• Having more powerful conversations
• Meditation/Mindfulness Exercise

83. How to have a ‗fierce conversation‘
Current state
• Something at stake
• Ruptured relationship
• Gossip and/or withdrawl
• Distraction
Employing smart leader
techniques
• What happened – a factual
account
• How I felt about it - the emotion
• The meaning I took away – my
story, judgment or interpretation
• What I want in the future – a
specific request
• Confirmation – do you agree to
my terms?
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84. Mindfulness/Meditation
Paying attention, in a particular way, on purpose, in the
present moment, non-judgmentally
~Jon Kabat-Zinn, Full Catastrophe Living

85. The 3 Levels of Brain Evolution

86. Meditation Mastery Matters
Training Attention
Amygdala can “hijack” your brain’s neuro-circuits

87. Courtesy www.h3Daily.com
Where AreYou?

88. Mindfulness Matters
• Foundational for self-
awareness
• Regular sustained
attention
• Reduces stress/health-
related benefits
• Peace of Mind
• Raises Creativity
• Empathy
• Hygiene for the brain
• Helpful for Alzheimer’s
• Can raise IQ
• Improves resiliency
• Tame negative self-talk
• Can improve sleep
• Clarity and decision-
making
• Supports Equanimity

89. MINDFULNESS EXERCISE
WRAP UP
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90. 90

91. Thank you!
• Aleen Bayard – aleen@marketzing.org
• Valencia Ray M.D. - valencia@valenciaray.com
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