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RESILIENCE &
NETWORKING
FORMING AN ATTENTIVE COMMUNITY AROUND VULNERABLE CHILDREN,
TWEENS AND TEENS
TRAUMA IN SK: WINTER…
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkDvqQKGgDA
WHAT IS ADVERSITY?
It can be a single event, or prolonged
threats to, and breaches of, a young
person’s safety, security, trust or bodily
integrity. These experiences directly affect
the young person and their environment,
and require significant social, emotional,
neurobiological, psychological or
behavioural adaptation.
• Maltreatment
• Violence & Coercion
• Adjustment
• Prejudice
• Household or Family Adversity
• Inhumane Treatment
• Adult Responsibilities
• Bereavement & Survivorship
PART 1: WHAT’S HAPPENED?
Mindset Changes
• From “What’s Wrong with You?”
• To “What Happened to You?”
ADAPTATIONS
ADAPTATIONS ARE WAYS PEOPLE
SEEK TO…
• Survive in their immediate
environment
• Find ways of mitigating or tolerating
the adversity by using available
resources
• Establish a sense of safety or control
• Make sense of their experiences
COMMONALITY OF ACE’S
How common?
• 52% = 0
• 23% = 1
• 16% = 2-3
• 09% = 4+
LIFE PATH IMPACT (4 OR MORE ACE’S)
• 2x more likely to binge drink & have a poor
diet
• 3x more likely to be current smoker
• 4x more likely to have low levels of mental
well-being & life satisfaction
• 5x more likely to have underage sex
• 6x more likely to have unplanned teenage
pregnancy
• 7x more likely to have been involved in
violence
• 11x more likely to have used illicit drugs
• 11x more likely to have been incarcerated
8 PROTECTIVE FACTORS
1. Positive & Supportive Family Environments
2. Safe & Mutual Relationships with Peers
3. Trauma-Informed Policies & Systems that Address
Bullying, Harassment and Victimization
4. Early Intervention from Support, Therapeutic or
Safeguarding Service
5. Compassionate, Attuned and Supportive Responses
from Professionals
6. Acquisition of Practical Problem-Solving Skills
7. Ability to Regulate Emotions & Manage Emotional
Distress
8. Access to Wider, Supportive & Understanding
Community
WHAT YOUTH SAY HELPS
• “Don’t label me with the experiences
I’ve had.”
• “I’ve survived this long.”
• “Shape your support around me.”
• “Find a way that we can both
understand each other.”
• “Include me in decisions about my
life.”
• “Don’t pass me from person-to-
person.”
PART II: EMOTIONS & SHARING
Helping young people regulate emotions and manage emotional distress.
ADOLESCENT
LEARNING • Adolescents learn “with” not “from.”
• The older we are, the more we need the right
“questions” instead of the right “answers.”
Appreciative Inquiry
SIMPLE GUIDELINES FOR EMOTIONS
• Everyone has emotions
• There is nothing wrong with our emotions
• How we express them may not result in the outcomes we
desire (Anger & Aggression)
• How do I need to behave to reach the outcomes I desire?
• What are the outcomes the other person desires?
Empathy
• Emotions can be really intense; how do we create a
climate of calm in order to express ourselves in a way we
will be heard?
• Hot & Cool Decisions
• Breathing Practice for calming
 2 in, 3 out (repeat three times)
GUIDELINES FOR RESPONSIBLE COMMUNICATION
• “Others can’t know what’s on your mind if you don’t
tell them.”
• “People can only act on what they know.”
• “If you are honest in your communication, without
tearing down the other person, you have done your
responsibility. It is NOT your responsibility how THEY
respond to your honesty.”
• “Understand that all people may have hurt feelings in
honest communication and may need time to
comprehend what you said before they can respond
properly.”
• “Remember, you’ve been thinking about your words
for a while and this may be brand new to the other
person—give them space and time to respond.”
BEING ATTENTIVE
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg
THANK YOU!
www.acompellinglife.com
© Dr. Jerry Goebel, 2017
PART III: PROSPECTIVE (PROSPECTING)
PSYCHOLOGY & APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY
Helping children, tweens and teens prospect for their future.
TRYING ON MASKS FOR ATTENTION
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSNAi2jB490
HISTORY OF PROSPECTIVE PSYCHOLOGY
Martin Seligman, Ph.D.
• Learned Helplessness
• Learned Hopefulness
• Changing the APA (American
Psychological Association)
• Prospecting
VALUES
A Value has 3 Components
1. It is the way I want to be treated
2. It is the way I will treat others
3. No matter how they treat me
VALUES DEVELOPMENT & MATURITY
• We learn what we value from who
values us.
• We grow our values by valuing
others.
• Maturity is the ability to make
decisions based upon your values
rather than your circumstances
ARTICULATE VALUES
MINING: SEVEN AREAS OF WELL-BEING
1. Calling: Making a living at what you LOVE to do
2. Character: Impulse Control & Delayed Gratification
3. Education: Living a Life of Wonder, Lifelong
Learning & Recovery
4. Hobbies: Autotelic Experiences & Focus
5. Physical: Living at Peak Mental & Physical
Condition
6. Relationship: Dealing with Anxiety or Restoring
Relationships & Expanding Community
7. Spiritual: Getting to Meaning; Cultural, Religious,
Causes
APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY (PART 01 OF 03)
Part I: Appreciative Inquiry
• Review Values Card out loud
• Ask what the high points were in light of the values
• Ask what the challenges were in light of the values
• Create a strategy around the challenges (should they occur again)
• What has made you happier this week?
• How can you plan to do more of what made you happier?
• Ask who they shared their values card with that week and what were
the responses
• Ask who they will share their values card with in the upcoming week
• When is your next Case Conference? Write down your feelings or
three things you'd like to share at your case conference. If you can't
read them, who can read them for you?
APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY (PART 02 OF 03)
Part II: Social Capital / Influence
1. How can you expand your
influence this week?
2. Who can help you?
3. Who can you help?
4. Who was supportive this week
(Thank you card)?
APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY (PART 03 OF 03)
Part III: Action Steps
A. What can you do for you this week
to move closer to your areas of
mastery or to deepen your values?
B. What can we do for you this week
to help you move closer to your
areas of mastery or to deepen your
values?
PART IV: CREATING ATTENTIVE COMMUNITIES
Helping youth connect with an attentive community in a compelling way
ATTENTIVE COMMUNITIES
• From Mentoring to Listening
• “Why are you here?” The importance
of volunteers…
• Relationship > Program
• Crossable Bridges
• Poverty
• Prejudice cannot withstand
Relationship
COMPELLING INVITATION
• Compelling Invitation
• Practice Conversations
• Thank You Card
HERDING CATS
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pk7yqlTMvp8
THANK YOU!
www.acompellinglife.com
© Dr. Jerry Goebel, 2017

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Resilience & networking sans video

  • 1. RESILIENCE & NETWORKING FORMING AN ATTENTIVE COMMUNITY AROUND VULNERABLE CHILDREN, TWEENS AND TEENS
  • 2. TRAUMA IN SK: WINTER… • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkDvqQKGgDA
  • 3. WHAT IS ADVERSITY? It can be a single event, or prolonged threats to, and breaches of, a young person’s safety, security, trust or bodily integrity. These experiences directly affect the young person and their environment, and require significant social, emotional, neurobiological, psychological or behavioural adaptation. • Maltreatment • Violence & Coercion • Adjustment • Prejudice • Household or Family Adversity • Inhumane Treatment • Adult Responsibilities • Bereavement & Survivorship
  • 4. PART 1: WHAT’S HAPPENED? Mindset Changes • From “What’s Wrong with You?” • To “What Happened to You?”
  • 5. ADAPTATIONS ADAPTATIONS ARE WAYS PEOPLE SEEK TO… • Survive in their immediate environment • Find ways of mitigating or tolerating the adversity by using available resources • Establish a sense of safety or control • Make sense of their experiences
  • 6. COMMONALITY OF ACE’S How common? • 52% = 0 • 23% = 1 • 16% = 2-3 • 09% = 4+
  • 7. LIFE PATH IMPACT (4 OR MORE ACE’S) • 2x more likely to binge drink & have a poor diet • 3x more likely to be current smoker • 4x more likely to have low levels of mental well-being & life satisfaction • 5x more likely to have underage sex • 6x more likely to have unplanned teenage pregnancy • 7x more likely to have been involved in violence • 11x more likely to have used illicit drugs • 11x more likely to have been incarcerated
  • 8. 8 PROTECTIVE FACTORS 1. Positive & Supportive Family Environments 2. Safe & Mutual Relationships with Peers 3. Trauma-Informed Policies & Systems that Address Bullying, Harassment and Victimization 4. Early Intervention from Support, Therapeutic or Safeguarding Service 5. Compassionate, Attuned and Supportive Responses from Professionals 6. Acquisition of Practical Problem-Solving Skills 7. Ability to Regulate Emotions & Manage Emotional Distress 8. Access to Wider, Supportive & Understanding Community
  • 9. WHAT YOUTH SAY HELPS • “Don’t label me with the experiences I’ve had.” • “I’ve survived this long.” • “Shape your support around me.” • “Find a way that we can both understand each other.” • “Include me in decisions about my life.” • “Don’t pass me from person-to- person.”
  • 10. PART II: EMOTIONS & SHARING Helping young people regulate emotions and manage emotional distress.
  • 11. ADOLESCENT LEARNING • Adolescents learn “with” not “from.” • The older we are, the more we need the right “questions” instead of the right “answers.” Appreciative Inquiry
  • 12. SIMPLE GUIDELINES FOR EMOTIONS • Everyone has emotions • There is nothing wrong with our emotions • How we express them may not result in the outcomes we desire (Anger & Aggression) • How do I need to behave to reach the outcomes I desire? • What are the outcomes the other person desires? Empathy • Emotions can be really intense; how do we create a climate of calm in order to express ourselves in a way we will be heard? • Hot & Cool Decisions • Breathing Practice for calming  2 in, 3 out (repeat three times)
  • 13. GUIDELINES FOR RESPONSIBLE COMMUNICATION • “Others can’t know what’s on your mind if you don’t tell them.” • “People can only act on what they know.” • “If you are honest in your communication, without tearing down the other person, you have done your responsibility. It is NOT your responsibility how THEY respond to your honesty.” • “Understand that all people may have hurt feelings in honest communication and may need time to comprehend what you said before they can respond properly.” • “Remember, you’ve been thinking about your words for a while and this may be brand new to the other person—give them space and time to respond.”
  • 16. PART III: PROSPECTIVE (PROSPECTING) PSYCHOLOGY & APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY Helping children, tweens and teens prospect for their future.
  • 17. TRYING ON MASKS FOR ATTENTION • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSNAi2jB490
  • 18. HISTORY OF PROSPECTIVE PSYCHOLOGY Martin Seligman, Ph.D. • Learned Helplessness • Learned Hopefulness • Changing the APA (American Psychological Association) • Prospecting
  • 19. VALUES A Value has 3 Components 1. It is the way I want to be treated 2. It is the way I will treat others 3. No matter how they treat me
  • 20. VALUES DEVELOPMENT & MATURITY • We learn what we value from who values us. • We grow our values by valuing others. • Maturity is the ability to make decisions based upon your values rather than your circumstances
  • 22. MINING: SEVEN AREAS OF WELL-BEING 1. Calling: Making a living at what you LOVE to do 2. Character: Impulse Control & Delayed Gratification 3. Education: Living a Life of Wonder, Lifelong Learning & Recovery 4. Hobbies: Autotelic Experiences & Focus 5. Physical: Living at Peak Mental & Physical Condition 6. Relationship: Dealing with Anxiety or Restoring Relationships & Expanding Community 7. Spiritual: Getting to Meaning; Cultural, Religious, Causes
  • 23. APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY (PART 01 OF 03) Part I: Appreciative Inquiry • Review Values Card out loud • Ask what the high points were in light of the values • Ask what the challenges were in light of the values • Create a strategy around the challenges (should they occur again) • What has made you happier this week? • How can you plan to do more of what made you happier? • Ask who they shared their values card with that week and what were the responses • Ask who they will share their values card with in the upcoming week • When is your next Case Conference? Write down your feelings or three things you'd like to share at your case conference. If you can't read them, who can read them for you?
  • 24. APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY (PART 02 OF 03) Part II: Social Capital / Influence 1. How can you expand your influence this week? 2. Who can help you? 3. Who can you help? 4. Who was supportive this week (Thank you card)?
  • 25. APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY (PART 03 OF 03) Part III: Action Steps A. What can you do for you this week to move closer to your areas of mastery or to deepen your values? B. What can we do for you this week to help you move closer to your areas of mastery or to deepen your values?
  • 26. PART IV: CREATING ATTENTIVE COMMUNITIES Helping youth connect with an attentive community in a compelling way
  • 27. ATTENTIVE COMMUNITIES • From Mentoring to Listening • “Why are you here?” The importance of volunteers… • Relationship > Program • Crossable Bridges • Poverty • Prejudice cannot withstand Relationship
  • 28. COMPELLING INVITATION • Compelling Invitation • Practice Conversations • Thank You Card