1. Deepak Babu
Regional Sales Director – Dell Services
How to handle
Difficult Conversations
NAAAP – Milwaukee - Professional Development & Networking Conference
June 2016

2. 1.Introduction
2.What would you
like to hear?
3.Key Takeaways
Speaker
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Regional Sales Director – Dell Services

3. What is a Difficult Conversation ?
Message
Emotions
Fear Anxiety Anger Frustration
It is unpleasant to deliver and receive..
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1,2,3….#,$,@.......

4. Common Difficult Conversations..
Salary/Money Bad Performance
Feedback
Inappropriate
Behavior
Deny an increase Termination I made a big mistake
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5. Globalization – The Cultural Dimension
Impacts everyday activities at work
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https://geert-hoftede.com/countries.html

6. You think you are alone ??
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http://www.managers.org.uk/campaigns/difficult-conversations

7. 43%
31%
29%
29%
21%
0% 5% 10% 15% 20% 25% 30% 35% 40% 45% 50%
Not knowing how the other person will respond
Not being able to get a point across clearly
Being in a confrontational situation
Getting upset or emotional
The other person getting upset or emotional
Common concerns
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http://www.managers.org.uk/campaigns/difficult-conversations

8. Process of Difficult Conversation
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Attribution
Difficult Conversations:
How to Discuss What
Matters Most
By
Douglas Stone(Author),
Bruce Patton (Author),
Sheila Heen (Author),

9. Let’s dissect it..
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10. The “What
Happened
Conversation”
The Feeling
Conversation
The Identity
Conversation
Decoding the three Conversations
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What’s the
story here ?
How do I feel?
What should I do
with my feelings?What does this
say about me ?

11.  Explore; Offer your view as
perception and interpretation
 Good intent doesn’t excuse
bad Impact
 Shift to a mutual contribution
system
How to handle it
 The Truth Assumptions
 The Intention Invention
 The Blame Game
Crippling Assumptions
“What happened” Conversation
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12. Have you ever been
accused of putting 2
and 2 together and
making 5 ?
Ladder of
Inference
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https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_91.htm

13. “The Feelings” Conversation
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14. The Identity Conversation
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Three common identity concepts
• Am I competent?
• Am I a good person?
• Am I worthy of love?
Difficult conversations threaten our identity.

15. Worksheet for preparation
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16. Back to the process – Dialogue
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What can you do?
− Notice when concerns are “at play”
− Make sure you have a shared goal
− Always demonstrate respect

17. Resolution
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Use inquiry for learning
• Don’t make statements disguised as questions
• Don’t cross-examine
• Ask open ended questions
• Remain authentic
Acknowledge the feelings behind any arguments
and accusations before problem-solving --
acknowledging is not agreeing

18. TALK
T – Think about framing how you think about the conversation differently. Don’t
label it as ‘difficult’. It may be about a tricky subject but, by suggesting solutions
or alternatives, you can focus on constructive outcomes
A – Always use clear, simple and neutral language. Refer to specific examples
and facts
L – Listen to what the other person is saying and hear their point of view. Show
you care about how they see things
K – Keep the focus on the issue, not the person
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http://www.managers.org.uk/campaigns/difficult-conversations

19. Thank you
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Deepak Babu
Regional Sales Director – Dell Services
@sensibl
linkedin.com/in/deepakbabu
Please feel free to contact with comments and questions