Centre for Human Potential Psychologists are trained professionals who help people to reach their full potential and live a happy life. http://www.centreforhumanpotential.com.au

1. What is Relationship Counselling and Couples’
Therapy?
Even the most well-matched and loving couples have periods of time when normal conflicts and
misunderstandings escalate to a stage where they are unable to resolve their differences in a
positive manner. If left unresolved, anger and resentment fester until the whole relationship is in
jeopardy.
Both relationship counselling and couples’ therapy are designed to assist such couples to identify
negative patterns of behaviour and create new and healthy alternatives for expressing
themselves. However, couples’ therapy is the term used so that individuals who are not married
or are engaged in same-sex relationships are not excluded from the overall process of
relationship counselling.
Signs and Symptoms
Early indicators of problems in a couple's relationship are a reduction in the quality of real
communication, the emergence of power struggles, loss of intimacy, dissatisfaction with some
aspect of the sexual part of the relationship, role conflicts and even infidelity.
It can also be a trigger for physical conflict, such as domestic violence as one partner releases the
feelings of anger, frustration and inadequacy by physically attacking the other to exert power and
control.
Who is affected?
Anyone who is a partner in a couple relationship can be affected by changes in patterns of
behaviour that lead to conflict or lack of communication. This includes LGBT partners who are
also often dealing with issues surrounding their sexuality such as living in a jurisdiction where
same-sex marriages are illegal or where non-heterosexual couples are unable to adopt children.
What causes relationships to break down?
Poor communication is one of the major reasons for couples to seek relationship counselling.
People who have difficulty communicating their needs and desires to their partners often have a
diminished sense of their own identity. They are unable to articulate their feelings and when they
try but fail, it sets up a behaviour pattern that continues until it is recognised and treated.
How are relationship problems treated?
Attending relationship counselling with a professionally trained counsellor or qualified
psychologist is the most effective method of treating relationship problems. One approach is to
identify and explore the patterns of behaviour that have developed, and assist the couple to create
new insights and approaches that change the unhealthy ones.

2. While it is much more beneficial if both members of the couple attend the sessions together, it is
possible to make progress by first entering therapy without the other person and then coming
together to work through problems. This approach is useful when one partner lacks the
confidence and self-esteem to air feelings and issues directly to the other.
Why you should seek help
When a relationship that started out full of hope and love falls apart, the results can be
devastating. Not only are there conflicts about the division of assets, custody of children and the
like, but the feelings of grief and loss can lead to a state of depression that in extreme cases, can
result in self-harm.
Seeking help from a professional counsellor or psychologist early in the relationship provides the
support needed to overcome most issues, so that a complete breakdown is avoided. The therapy
explores many negative behaviours and in addressing and treating those, the relationship is
strengthened and a greater understanding and concern for each other develops.
What you can do/self help
If you are unable to convince your partner to attend relationship counselling with you, don’t turn
this itself into an area of conflict. Instead, attend the therapy services of centre for human
potential on your own and take advantage of the professional guidance in order to develop
positive behaviour changes and attitudes in yourself. Your partner may notice these changes, as
well as how they have impacted on the relationship, and decide to take part with you. If that
doesn’t happen, you will have gained life-long skills that will improve your own personal
wellbeing.
How to support loved ones experiencing this issue
Relationship difficulties are a real source of stress and anxiety. The most valuable gift that family
and friends can give their loved one experiencing this problem is their time. Listening to their
problems in a non-judgemental manner, leading them towards finding their own solution, and
offering whatever support they need are all excellent strategies.
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