1. Engage conflict well
Thomas Porter
Co-Executive Director of JustPeace

2. QuickTime™ and a
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3. How do we create the space and
the time where people can...
Find sacred space, a relatively safe space
Recognize their interdependence and interconnection
Find a sense of equality and respect
Live out of a relational covenant
Have voice - even the quiet ones
Tell and hear stories
Experience deep listening and respectful speaking
Feel responsible and accountable for the outcome
Solve their own problems and find healing

4. Characteristics of the Circle
Equidistant from the center
Equal visual access to everyone else
Interconnected: about relationships
Equal - no hierarchies
Equal responsibility and accountability
Equal respect
Collective wisdom and discernment
A way of being in community

5. The Circle is Sacred...
Opening and closing rituals frame
the whole time and space together
as sacred...
At the center, a reminder of the
presence of God, for example a
candle.
A space safe enough, physically and
emotionally, for the telling of stories
and the speaking and hearing of
truth.
Each person is the alpha and omega
of the circle.
Experience the power of ritual to
transform lives and create
community.

6. The talking piece
The talking piece is something of
significance to the circle that is
respected
When you hold it, you may speak.
When you do not hold it, you listen
You may pass
Everyone has an opportunity to be
heard without interruption and
commentary, including the quiet
ones.
The talking piece is passed in order
clockwise around the circle.

7. The Circle Steward
Set a tone of respect and hope that honors and supports every
participant
Frame the circle as sacred by beginning and ending with ritual
Obtain agreement on the relational covenant
Raise powerful questions and issues to address
before passing the talking piece
Encourage the telling and hearing of stories
At the end of passing the talking piece, summarize
the contributions of the circle
Maintain the process and respect for the covenant

8. The Circle Steward
When appropriate, hold the talking piece and open discussion, but use the same
covenant - recognize one at a time
Be flexible
Be patient - give circle time to work
Help explore options and common ground
Summarize consensus or, if there is no consensus,
what has been accomplished (openness, honesty,
willingness to listen and to engage, respect) and what has
not been accomplished
Help them resolve their own conflicts, heal themselves,
find justice and right relations, and reconcile with each other

9. Virtues of a Steward
Respectful
Fair
Appreciative
Honest
Authentic
Skillful in process
Patient and persistent (hopeful)
Humble: Gives credit to the circle for the good results

10. Advantages of
Co-Stewarding
Co-Stewarding
A balance in terms of diversity can assist parties in feeling more
comfortable, especially in conflicts involving race, ethnicity, or
gender.
Two heads are better than one in deciding on the best process or
approach in difficult cases.
Different styles and experiences can provide combined knowledge,
skills, and insights.
Co-facilitators can take turns or divide up the work. One may focus
more on issues and facts while the other focuses on feelings or
emotions, or one can lead and direct the process while the other
monitors and ensures that important elements are not overlooked.

11. Challenges of
Co-Stewarding
Co-Stewarding
It requires teamwork in terms of preparation,
coordination, timing, and cohesiveness.
It requires understanding of each other's strengths,
weaknesses, approaches, and techniques.
It requires the ability to strategize and cue each other
in order to stay on track.
When assembling a team, meeting with your co-
steward before a session is critical.

12. Building a
Co-Stewarding Team
Co-Stewarding Team
Who will take the lead role in each step?
How will tasks be divided?
How will one step in when the other is in trouble? What signals will you
use? How can you quietly pass the lead to your co-facilitator?
In terms of individual stewarding style, how can you best complement
each other?
What does each of you do well? What do you not do well?
What does each of you see as potential difficulties with the upcoming
circle, and how might you handle them?
Do a joint evaluation at the end of the circle to sharpen your skills and
share insights about additional strengths and weaknesses.

13. Preparation for the Circle
Careful Planning: haste makes waste in time and energy.
Talk with key people to determine issues, concerns and needs.
Begin building trust and relationship.
Ask who should be involved?
Who will be effected?
Who might block any decision?
Who will bring wisdom to
the circle?

14. Preparation for the Circle
Be clear and open about all aspects of the process:
Purpose
What is being discussed
Where and when
Decision-making process
Explain how the circle works
Explain your role
Discuss covenants – share basic circle covenant
Determine if affinity circles are needed

15. Getting Parties to the Table
Focus on building trust and gathering information
Make the process clear, including:
Your role
Their Role
Volunteer nature of the process
Process will work by consensus
Ask reality questions:
What are the costs of continuing in the same way?
What will happen if things are not resolved?
Be alert to cultural differences
Help people become comfortable with who will attend, what time, and the venue

16. Rituals Create...
OrderCommunityT
ransformation of
Experience
OrderCommunityTra
nsformation of
Experience

17. Relational
Covenant
“Share values in action,
expressed in a practical
manner.”
- Kay Pranis

18. A Covenant for a Circle
What is shared while in circle, stays in circle.
Personal information that is shared in
circle is kept confidential except when
safety would be compromised.
Speak with respect:
ce. Speak from the heart. Speak only for yourself.Be specific. Speak in a way that encour
ce. Speak from the heart. Speak only for yourself.Be specific. Speak in a way that encour
ce. Speak from the heart. Speak only for yourself.Be specific. Speak in a way that encour

19. A Covenant for a Circle
Listen with respect: Listen for understanding.Be
open to be transformed.
Stay in circle: Respect for the circle calls upon
people
to stay in circle while the circle works to
find resolution to the issues raised.
find resolution to the issues raised.
find resolution to the issues raised.
find resolution to the issues raised.

20. Developing a Relational
Covenant
How would you like to be treated?
How should members of the Body of Christ be treated
What is the vision of the Body of Christ?
How do we create the respect for each member as a child of God?
How do we create sanctuary or safety for each member of the community?
How do we listen for understanding, speak the truth i love, use our imaginations and be forgiven?
How are we going to make decisions?
How do we deal with the issues of confidentiality and transparency?
How do we deal with accountability to the covenant?
How do we maintain an openness to revise the covenant as needed?

21. A Three-Level Approach
Appreciative InquiryMoving from Positions
to Interests and NeedsHealing the Harm
Appreciative InquiryMoving from Positions
to Interests and NeedsHealing the Harm

24. Getting to a Good Place Together
Identity common assets, hopes, concerns; establish common ground; build on
these
List and clarify the issues, interests and needs
Work on one issue at a time (usually start
with the easiest to resolve)
Generate options, to meet interests and
needs.
Brainstorm as many ideas as possible
without critical evaluation
Welcome each idea and list them
without comment

25. Getting to a Good Place Together
Evaluate the options together.
For each option, evaluate the pros and cons
Determine which option best meets the interests
and needs of the parties.
Select options and plan implementation.
At all times, look for opportunities to point out areas
of commonalty and positive intentions.
Acknowledge hurt, anger, and frustration.
Affirm constructive moves and highlight progress made.

26. Consensus Consensus
Every interest is heard and
understood.
Everyone accepts the outcome
(not necessarily agree – stand aside).
Accepted because they believe they were heard and a good
response was heard.
All seek alternatives that address everyone’s concerns and
interests, something greater (higher ground) than anyone’s
preconceived ideas (newness).
Obligation not to stymie but to help the group meet your interests
and needs.
Obligation to continue to try to meet the interests and needs of
those who stand aside.

27. Retributive Restorative
Justice Justice
Crime or - violation of the law - violation or harm to
- state is the victim people/relationships in
Wrong-Doing community
- establish blame, guilt or
The Aim of liability - identify needs
- administer - identify obligations
Justice pain/punishment - promote healing
- collaborative engagement
The Process of - conflict between
- maximizing information
adversaries
Justice - winners and losers
dialogue and mutual
agreement

28. Harm
Accountability
Engagement

29. Those Harmed: Their Needs
Safety
Being heard
Answers
Restitution and
accountability
Participation
Healing

30. Offenders: Their Needs
Knowledge of harm
Coping with guilt
Being seen as a person
in context
Sharing in decisions about
making things right
Making things right
Being reintegrated into community
Healing

31. Community: Our Needs
Safety
Supporting and assisting those harmed
Holding offenders accountable
Working to support, assist and
reintegrate offenders in the
community
Addressing the larger
systemic issues
Healing

34. “Because they are bound together to
the event, both victim and offender
need each other to experience the
liberation and healing from the
continuing thrall of the offense. The
offender needs the victim to trigger or
sharpen his contrition, to hear his
confession, remit his guilt, and to
affirm his ability to start fresh. The
victim needs the offender to hear her
pain, answer her questions, absorb
her resentment, and affirm her dignity.
Each holds the key to the other’s
liberation.”
~
Christopher Marshall

35. Nun’s Prayer (17th
Century)
Lord, Thou knowest better than I know myself that I am growing older and will some day be old.
Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every
occasion. Release me from craving to straighten out everybody's affairs. Make me thoughtful but not
moody: helpful but not bossy. With my vast store of wisdom it seems a pity not to use it all, but Thou
knowest, Lord, that I want a few friends at the end.
Keep my mind free of the recital of endless details: give me wings to get to the point. Seal my lips on
my aches and pains. They are increasing, and
rehearsing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by. I dare not ask for
grace enough to enjoy the tales of others pains, but help me to endure them with patience.
I dare not ask for improved memory, but for a growing humility and a
lessening cocksureness when my memory seems to clash with the memories of others. Teach me
the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be mistaken.
Keep me reasonably sweet: I do not want to be a Saint—some of them are
so hard to live with—but a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the devil. Give me the
ability to see good things in unexpected places, and talents in unexpected people. And give me, 0
Lord, the grace to tell them so. Amen.