5. It can’t be that simple to be
happy, can it?
• Make wise comparisons
• Find a hobby
• Volunteer
• Be happy.
Hinweis der Redaktion
The pursuit of happiness is probably the most important goal anyone can set for themselves. Happiness is more than that “A” on your test or the raise you’ve been hoping for. That kind of happiness is fleeting and somewhat selfish. Being truly happy can mean many different things to many people but at the core of it is love for yourself and others. I personally struggle daily with my pursuit of happiness. I find solace in the little things each day that get me through. The following three examples are options that have worked for me in the past and continue to help when I need it most.
Appreciate what you’ve got because in a flash, it could be gone. You only need to turn on the television or pick up a paper to see stories about those less fortunate than you. War torn countries, famines and droughts, and natural disasters occur everyday, all over the world. Instead of focusing on those who have more than you, try focusing on those who have less. It tends to put things into perspective and can humble you. When I was released from surgery this past month, all I could think about was showering and being able to sleep on my side. Simple things like dressing myself and going to the bathroom by myself were now activities I yearned for. It truly has put into perspective how much I do enjoy in life. Anytime I start to feel like I need more material objects or something else in my life, I think back to being in that hospital bed and I have a moment of clarity. As Americans, we are conditioned from a very early age to believe that more material objects, physical beauty, and money are what will make us truly happy. Having the basic necessities of life are truly all we need.
Turn off the television, computer, and cell phones in your life. Pick up a book, garden hoe, or go ride your bike. Sounds simple and obvious but for most people today, this is very difficult to do. For most people in my age group, this is almost impossible. I know you’ve seen the cool kid riding his bike while texting, we all have.
In this day and age, socializing has taken on a whole new meaning. It no longer serves the purpose it used to. We no longer see each other face-to-face in order to communicate. We text, tweet, IM, and send messages on Facebook. While having a healthy social circle is important, getting off the computer or cell phone is essential to becoming a healthier, happier person.
Finding a hobby, or two, that will make you a more active, socially open person is important to the pursuit of happiness. Human beings are social animals and we’re meant to be physically active. It gets all sorts of chemicals flowing in our brains that are proven to make us happier beings.
Of course I’m guilty of being shut up in my house in front of a screen of some sort as much as the next person, possibly more. I spend more time on the computer than I’d like to admit. I’d love to say it’s being spent doing homework or for my job but it’s not. I spend just as much time on my cell phone too. The television is always on in the background, whether I’m watching it or not. In fact, I would bet money that you could label it all as an addiction. It’s gotten so bad, my therapist has written out a detailed schedule with timeslots for computer time, television time, and limited cell phone time to emergencies and quick calls.
I’ve noticed as I’m getting out and about more, I’m losing weight, meeting new people, and enjoying my days far more than before. I purchased a bike to not only get exercise but to also explore my neighborhood. I love nature so why not get absorbed into it? My hobbies have changed drastically in the last several months, for the better. I now spend a certain amount of time indoors and then I’m off doing fun activities outside. I’ve even pulled my roommate into my pursuit for all around happiness and he doesn’t seem to be hating it.
When most people think of volunteering, they may picture passing out meals in a soup kitchen or helping with a clothing drive distribution. While this is most definitely helpful to those in need, I chose a much different route.
While I’d like to say my reasons for volunteering were entirely selfless, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get immense fulfillment from it. I noticed that there was a particular population of individuals that weren’t getting any attention from those involved in mental health advocacy and support. Borderline personality disorder patients, or BPDs, are widely ignored and pushed away by mental heath professionals and society in general. Because of intense emotions and behaviors that are deemed dangerous to themselves and others, they are usually left to fight this battle alone.
When I was diagnosed four years ago, I felt this abandonment that so many face everyday. I received no help and could not find any in my city no matter how hard I looked. Over the years, I’ve managed to commit myself to helping those like me. I decided since there was no support group for BPDs in Jacksonville, I would start my own. I volunteer my Monday evenings every week to helping those like me who are lost and need some direction. I also founded and run several Facebook groups, a blog, and a support site where I dispense advice, support, and friendship to BPDs all over the world. Many people ask me why I spend so much time doing something for a people that aren’t always so appreciative and I tell them because I know how it feels. I get a lot of enjoyment and happiness when I know I’ve helped someone. When the people I have helped come online and tell me how much what I’ve said has resonated with them, it means the world to me.
I want to become a counselor once I’m done with school but not for the money. I want to help those who are immersed in pain everyday see that it is possible to feel joy again, even just for one moment.
Happiness can take a lifetime to achieve if you continue to pursue it in all the wrong ways. It is so much easier to be sad and angry all of the time. Being happy takes a lot of effort and determination. Some people just aren’t willing to try, they just want immediate results. This is why many think having more money or power will lead to happiness. When they finally get there, they realize they aren’t really any happier than they used to be when they didn’t have so much power or money. In fact, they are less happy.
The three examples listed are only a few of many options out there for you to pursue while aiming at happiness for your life. These just happen to be the ones that have worked and are still working for me. You must find what works for you and dive into it head first. Believing you can be happy and make others happy is very important. Realizing it may take some time and lots of hard work is also important. Going out and volunteering once and then expecting to be happy for the rest of your life is not realistic. It’s a continuous process.
I also find that incorporating others into my pursuit has helped to motivate me and keep me on track. Not only do I have their support but I’m also “paying it forward”. If they continue in the pursuit of happiness and involve others, this world is much a much happier place for all of us.
Remember that the pursuit to happiness is a marathon, not a sprint. Never lose hope, it’s the only thing that keeps most of us alive.
