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Keeping perspective
Before viewing this presentation, look around
you – at the people in your office, on the
train or across the breakfast table – and
realize you all have something in common.
There isn’t a person alive who wasn’t picked
last for a team, asked someone to a dance
who said no, didn’t get cast in the play, or
got every job they interviewed for. And
although rejection is sometimes hard to live
through, the lessons we learn from it can be
invaluable and position us for future
success.
This presentation by Dave Sanford, Winter, Wyman’s EVP of Business Development,
originally appeared as an article on Boston.com and has been re-used here with the
publisher’s permission.
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Top ten tips
1. Realize it’s probably not your fault.
2. Feedback is your friend.
3. Don’t get defensive.
4. Do something with bad feedback.
5. Expand your options and opportunities.
6. Don’t burn your bridges.
7. Stay positive.
8. Have a clean slate.
9. Don’t be afraid to share the bad news.
10. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
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1. Realize it’s probably not your fault.
• More often than not there isn’t one particular reason you
weren’t chosen to go on further in the interview process or
offered the job. Most hiring decisions are based on
subjective criteria. The hiring manager may have clicked
with another candidate quicker or was better able to relate
to someone else’s background.
• People make it to the interview round based on the skills
and experiences outlined in their resumes and then the
rapport established on phone interviews. Job offers are
often extended based on intangibles like personality,
enthusiasm and potential cultural fit and these are
determined on the subjective, educated opinion of the
hiring manager.
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2. Feedback is your friend.
• It’s hard to ask for an honest and objective review of your
interview performance – especially from someone you may
have only met once. But in order to do better the next
time, you need to know if there are areas you need to
improve. Ask the people who interviewed you for direct and
honest feedback.
• Because it’s human nature to want to spare someone’s
feelings, your interviewer may not want to share anything
but generalities, especially if they think your reason for
asking is to challenge their opinion or ask for a second
opportunity. Realize and respect that their decision has
been made and make sure they know you are seeking
feedback for improvement purposes only.
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3. Don’t get defensive.
• If you hear something you disagree with from your
feedback conversation, do not get defensive and
confrontational. Thank the interviewer for their time, make
note of their comments and discuss them with a spouse or
trusted colleague or friend to see if there is any merit.
• When we expose ourselves to the opinion of others and
disagree with their assessment, it’s common to feel angry,
bitter or defensive. Overcome these emotions and
concentrate on the learning aspect of this opportunity.
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4. Do something with bad feedback.
• No one wants to hear that their portfolio looked sloppy;
they were perceived as stressed, hesitant or scattered; or
their technology skills were out-of-date. But just think how
each of these points can be corrected – if you know about
them!
• When bad feedback is revealed, be prepared to put a plan
in place to fix the holes in your game. Spend more time
and care putting together a targeted portfolio, arrive at
your interview early so you have time to relax and gather
your thoughts so you don’t appear stressed, or take some
refresher courses on the latest software advances in your
field. Put your friends and family on your personal advisory
team and bounce ideas off them for improving yourself.
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5. Expand your options & opportunities.
• When one door closes, another opens. It might sound like a
cliché, but the lesson it teaches is true: this opportunity
lost is your chance to investigate others.
• Try not to be finite in your job search. Think broader about
your career and look at related jobs, consulting gigs and
contract/temp engagements. Or volunteer. Jobs and
careers that can make you happy or successful come in all
industries, functions and arrangements. Don’t be afraid to
try something new.
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6. Don’t burn your bridges.
• When you find out you didn’t get the job, be gracious,
thank the company for the opportunity, and offer to stay in
touch. Who’s to say the person they hired will work out? Or
that another position won’t suddenly become available? By
conducting yourself in a professional manner and not
burning any bridges, you have positioned yourself for
another opportunity within the company.
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7. Stay positive.
• After job rejection, the only thing you can control is your
attitude. You can’t manage their hiring process or even
influence it in your favor any more. But you can control
your reaction to the circumstances. Allow yourself that
moment of disappointment and then put on your best face
and be positive. This will help you move on a lot more
quickly, which is imperative to your job search. No one
wants to hire someone negative or with a defeated attitude.
Find a way to make yourself feel better and embrace your
new opportunities with gusto.
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8. Have a clean slate.
• Go into your next interview with a clean slate and realize
this company wants to hire you otherwise you wouldn’t be
there. Leave your bad experience and rejection at the door
with your coat and umbrella. Don’t let any negative energy
accumulate and do not bring up past rejections in your new
interviews. Let these interviewers form their own opinions
about the cheerful, upbeat professional in front of them.
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9. Don’t be afraid to share the bad news.
• Rejection is hard enough to deal with on our own so the
tendency is often to keep the news to ourselves, either out
of embarrassment or fear. But as stated previously, we all
have been through it before and there really is nothing to
be ashamed of.
• By sharing your circumstances with others, you will find
support systems and people willing to help. And more
importantly, your network will know you are still on the
market and looking.
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10. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
• If you have been conducting an effective job search, you
will have generated multiple opportunities and offers and
this rejection won’t matter much, if at all. Sure, you will
have your preferences, but never shoot down an offer or
turn down an interview for a viable opportunity while
interviewing or negotiating with other companies. There are
too many variables outside your control to pass something
new up.
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About Winter, Wyman
• Established in 1972
• An industry leader and one of the largest and most
recognized staffing firms in the Northeast
• Service the New England and Metropolitan New York
job markets with national technology contracting
capabilities
• Specialize in recruiting permanent, contract and
contract-to-permanent professionals
• Specialty areas include:
– Accounting & Finance
– Creative & Digital Technology
– Human Resources
– Information Technology
– Investments & Financial Services
– Software Engineering
15. Thank you for joining us.
Visit the “Job Seeker” section of
www.winterwyman.com
for additional job search resources.
