What is deep revision? Revision, or literally re-seeing, asks that you look again at writing you’ve done in an attempt to transform it for measurable improvement. Revision is often confused with editing, which most commonly concerns surface error correction. While error- mending and editing certainly are important, deep revision applies a process of re- seeing and re-thinking aimed at ideas and content. A deeply revised essay, then, has been re-worked with careful attention to the ways ideas are explained, positions developed, and points affirmed rather than merely moving commas around and correcting typos. For this unit’s revision essay, you will apply deep revision strategies to your choice of essay #1 or essay #2. Your revision process should consider instructor comments applied to the earlier draft submitted for a grade. It should also incorporate the suggestions made by others in the class in the peer response thread. Notice that this unit's essay requires an increased length range of at least 500 words to reinforce the expectation that this will be a deep revision. Remember from our lecture some of the things that deep revision might involve: Devising a new thesis, or focus statement that is perhaps more creative or simply more well-defined; Revising the body paragraphs of your paper to more overtly connect them to the thesis statement; Adding new supporting arguments that incorporate new rhetorical strategies (description, narration, compare/contrast, definition) Revising paragraphs that contain more than one supporting argument (see this unit’s recommended reading on paragraph development) Constructing a new conclusion This deep revision work should not be done simply for the sake of revising—it will only result in a stronger product if motivated by genuine efforts to enhance the persuasiveness of your message for a specific audience. G uidelines for Revision of Essay One or Two Length : Approximately 1500 words; this is about 500 words more than the requirement for the original essays . Please craft a short reflection description (one to two paragraphs) describing the changes and transformations you made in undertaking this deep revision. This will also include information about your surface editing efforts (see below, “A Note about Proofreading”). Submit this description as either a second file in Submit Assignment or as a new page at the end of your essay. Failure to submit this required information will result in one letter grade deduction from this essay. A Note about Proofreading : As evidence of your effort to proofread your work before turning it in, you must use Easy Writer for guidance. I want to see specific notes of which writing conventions you have aligned with the suggestions and models in Easy Writer . Look at the table of contents, paying special attention to sections 7-28. For this essay, choose an area where you know you need help or clarification – for instance, pronouns (section 11) or semicolons (section 20)..

1. What is deep revision?
Revision, or literally re-seeing, asks that you look again at
writing you’ve done in an attempt to transform it for measurable
improvement. Revision is often confused with editing, which
most commonly concerns surface error correction. While error-
mending and editing certainly are important, deep revision
applies a process of re- seeing and re-thinking aimed at ideas
and content. A deeply revised essay, then, has been re-worked
with careful attention to the ways ideas are explained, positions
developed, and points affirmed rather than merely moving
commas around and correcting typos.
For this unit’s revision essay, you will apply deep revision
strategies to your choice of essay #1 or essay #2. Your revision
process should consider instructor comments applied to the
earlier draft submitted for a grade. It should also incorporate
the suggestions made by others in the class in the peer response
thread. Notice that this unit's essay requires an increased length
range of at least 500 words to reinforce the expectation that this
will be a deep revision.
Remember from our lecture some of the things that deep
revision might involve:
Devising a new thesis, or focus statement that is perhaps more
creative or simply more well-defined;
Revising the body paragraphs of your paper to more overtly
connect them to the thesis statement;
Adding new supporting arguments that incorporate new
rhetorical strategies (description, narration, compare/contrast,
definition)
Revising paragraphs that contain more than one supporting
argument (see this unit’s recommended reading on paragraph
development)
Constructing a new conclusion
This deep revision work should not be done simply for the sake
of revising—it will only result in a stronger product if
motivated by genuine efforts to enhance the persuasiveness of

2. your message for a specific audience.
G
uidelines for Revision of Essay One or Two
Length
: Approximately 1500 words;
this is about 500 words more than the requirement for the
original essays
.
Please craft a short reflection description (one to two
paragraphs) describing the changes and transformations you
made in undertaking this deep revision. This will also include
information about your surface editing efforts (see below, “A
Note about Proofreading”). Submit this description as either a
second file in Submit Assignment or as a new page at the end of
your essay. Failure to submit this required information will
result in one letter grade deduction from this essay.
A Note about Proofreading
: As evidence of your effort to proofread your work before
turning it in, you must use
Easy Writer
for guidance. I want to see specific notes of which writing
conventions you have aligned with the suggestions and models
in
Easy Writer
. Look at the table of contents, paying special attention to
sections 7-28. For this essay, choose an area where you know
you need help or clarification – for instance, pronouns (section
11) or semicolons (section 20). Proofread your essay for the
selected error type or pattern, working to correct instances of its
occurrence. For example, if you know you have difficulty with
run - on sentences, you would turn to section 12, “Comma
Splices and Fused Sentences,” on page 87. Then you would
proofread your essay for run -on sentences, working to mend
them as carefully as you are able. At the end of your essay, give
the section, title, and page numbers you referred to as you
proofread,for instance: Lunsford, 12, “Comma Splices and

3. Fused Sentences,” (87 -90). Please address a new area with each
subsequent essay, rather than continuing to refer to the same
section.
Style/Format
: This, as all essays in EN105, will be formatted according to
MLA (Modern Language Association) guidelines for scholarship
in the humanities:
12 point, Times New Roman font, double-spaced.
1-inch margins top, bottom, and sides.
Although no cover page is needed, you should include your
name, my name, the course number/title, and date at the upper
left-hand corner of the manuscript.
To view a sample MLA-formatted paper, see p. 252 in
Easy Writer
.
File format
: Please submit your essay in Rich Text Format (RTF). This is
available in most word processing programs; it will ensure
maximum document accessibility for all operating platforms.
T
i
tles
: Include a descriptive title at the beginning of your essay that
tips your readers off to your thesis. Do not format your title
with quotation marks, boldface, underlining or italics.
Quotation marks or underlining are only appropriate if the title
borrows words from another source.
Deadline
: Submit your final draft essay no later than Midnight CST on
Sunday at the end of this unit.
Us
e of essays for future courses
: Please understand that your essay may be used—
anonymously—as a sample for future EN105 students and
instructors
unless

4. you expressly request that it not be used. Your work, of course,
will only be used for educational purposes.
G
r
a
d
i
n
g
: See the "Grading and Assessment" content item under Course
Information.
My Instructor feed back
Thank you. You have some good insights here. Process: I do
find evidence of some process in your writing, but not as much
as is needed. Your work needs organization, and it appears that
you are still processing what you want to write. Your thesis
statement is not really supported by the body of the paper as
much as it could be. -2 Focus: You do have a focus, and it
deserves good support. Each part of your essay should be driven
by a topic sentence that points back to your focus, or thesis
statement. That sentence should frame that portion of your
essay and build a frame for the details and examples you add as
support. I am not really seeing this at this point.-2
Development: You do use some examples from the text, but, in
general, you almost summarize the writing. What is needed is
support from your own experience and observation, concrete
evidence of some kind.-2 Rhetorical Strategies: Be sure to stay
in one point of view, not using you. Be sure to write to your
reader, encouraging them to believe in your writing. Your goal
is to engage the reader here. Specific examples and details will
help to do this.-2 Conventions: Work with formatting of the
essay, the citations, and works cited. Also, review punctuation
especially. -2 Thank you, . I would recommend that you use a
second set of eyes to read over your work and make suggestions

5. before submitting your essay. It is hard to review our own work
as our minds often trick us into believing we have written
something that we haven’t. Even letting the work rest and then
re-reading it is good. Keep up the good work! Mrs. Mac