2. More often than we would like or expect, we find
ourselves in the position of negotiating with people that
are rude, aggressive or dishonest when working for or
delivering a training material. We can await for lies or
denial instead of a real communication. Such negativity
tactics may provoke a negative reaction from our part
and the conflict created may bring damages to our
reputation. Therefore you must be a good negotiator to
respond in an efficient and constructive way to such
behaviors and achieve your goals.
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3. 1. Think, don’t react.
A lot of people react to pressure by getting angry,
dismissing the discussion and copying the behavior of
the one in front of them. Reacting to the other’s
pressure, you are allowing him to dictate the course of
the discussion and give him power over you. Think,
don’t react. Don’t say anything at first, no matter how
angry or frustrated you are. Relax and control
yourself, either by counting to 10 or asking for a
recess. Channel your energy in finding an adequate
strategy.
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4. 2. Ask yourself: Why is he reacting this way?
Although it may seem odd, those who manifest a
difficult behavior are not actually difficult people. They
can be rather normal, but under certain stressful
situations, react in an uncommon manner. Or may have
deficiencies in sustaining a negotiation. Before putting a
label on them, put yourself in their shoes and see if you
can find any motive for such behavior. “Am I under the
pressure of time or other responsibilities? Is my lack of
experience on the discussed subject so obvious?” Don’t
try to find an excuse but rather understand their
motivation and try to normalize the discussion.
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5. 3. Ask yourself: Am my contributing to this situation?
It may happen that this behavior is a reaction to your
provocation. If you interrupt him, you minimize his ideas
or refuse to discuss alternatives to the solution you offer.
By acknowledging your negative contribution to the
discussion and apologizing, you will radically change the
other’s behavior.
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6. 4. Decide if you want to change the course of
the discussion
It’s not always worth confronting directly a difficult
participant, because it is possible that his behavior
may prevent you from achieving your goal. You
may be dealing with a influential manager that you
wouldn’t want to upset.
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7. 5. To change the course of discussion, negotiate rules
An effective way of adjusting the conversation partner’s
behavior is stating directly what displeases you and
suggesting a new topic. Display an attitude which you
would like to see in the other person. When contradicted,
listen, admit your point of view and the right to disagree
and express your opinion in the most positive way you
can. Avoid rejecting his position from the start. Ask
questions as: How can we resolve this issue? When
expressing your perspective, give all the reasons and
arguments, not only your conclusions. Explain the
benefits both parties would have if you agree and accept
other opinions.
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8. For more training and
team-building advice
Go to Trainers Blog:
http://trainersadvice.com/resources/
trainers-blog/
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