Yoruba marriage and courtship seminar

1. African Traditional Marriage And
Courtship as it relates to my
Yoruba culture.

2. Introduction
• Family is the most sacred and significant
institution to the Yorubas.
• It is:
– Child centered
– Ruled by the elderly
– Controlled by adults
– Assures safety
– Teaches the first lessons of Discipline,
Personal Gratitude and Affection.

3. Question
• How do we get there or how do we
establish that foundation?
---MARRIAGE---
A marriage based on truth, honor, integrity
and Godly principles establishes the
foundation for family.

4. The Yoruba Traditional Process
• Young males between the ages of 23 and 28 years and
females between the ages of 18 and 25:
a. Are both expected to be gradually identifying potential
spouses.
b. The male is expected to have acquired skills that will
allow/enable him to provide for his future family.
c. Young female would have learned some of the
preliminary skills she will need to be a wife and mother
from watching her mother and older females in her
family.
d. The young male’s determination to visit the house of
his potential spouse is a final proof of readiness to
engage in a serious relationship. ***Must inform his
father before taking this step. There are parental duties
that must be carried out.

5. Six Steps To The Actual Marriage
1. Time for seeking the potential spouse
– (Igda ifojusode)
2. The approval of the oracle-divinity
– (Ifa fore)
3. The release of the voice of the young woman
– (Isihun)
4. The request for the young woman’s hand in marriage
– (Itoro)
5. The creation of the affinal bond
– (Idana)
6. The transfer of the wife to the husband’s lineage
– (Igbeyawo)

6. Sample Letter Of Introduction

7. CREATION OF THE AFFINAL BOND
Idana – Payment of the bride-wealth.
• The items in the package all have symbolic value they
reiterate for enhancing the goals and objectives of the
Yoruba family.
• Key Items:
1. Honey
2. Salt
3. Palm Oil
4. Kola Nut
5. Bitter Kola
6. Pen
7. Bible/Koran
8. Candle
9. Money

8. Prayer Significance of Each Item
• Honey: This is honey, the quality of honey is sweetness. May
your married life be sweet, happy and blessed with many children
and money to take care of them.
• Salt: This is salt, it preserves and enhances taste, may you be
preserved in your lives so that you live long and see your children’s
children.
• Palm Oil: This is palm oil, it reduces the hash taste of pepper in
the stew. May the harsh impact of difficult times be ameliorated.
• Kola Nut: This is kola nut, It produces prolifically. May your wife
be as fertile as the kola nut tree and be blessed with many children
who survive and do great things in life.

9. Prayer Significance of Each Item
(continued)
• Bitter Kola: This is bitter kola, it means that you will leave long
and see your children achieve great things in life.
• This is a Pen: We use it to write. Education is the means to
greatness. May your children learn to read and write and become
famous through achievement in education.
• The Bible/Koran: It is the holy book of power. May your faith
provide direction to you in life.
• Candle: It lights the way. May the word of of God provide the light
that will guide you through life.
• Money: Money is needed for fulfillment and enjoyment of life. May
you be blessed with plenty of it in your life time.

10. Roles
(Not all inclusive but sets the stage)
• Roles of the husband:
– Provider
– Protector
– Leader
– Priest of the family
• Roles of the wife:
– Supporter of the husband (Loyal Partner)
– Mother of the home
– Norture the children
– She holds the family together

11. Roles Continued
(Not all inclusive but sets the stage)
• Roles of the in-laws:
– Advocate and supporter of the family
– Councellor in good and bad times
– Must be non-intrusive
– Must be transparent and nonpartial in family matters

12. Summary
*
FAMILY is the root of MARRIAGE
and
MARRIAGE is the foundation of FAMILY

13. Thanks For Your Attention
QUESTIONS