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Listening for Emotions
Chaplain Nancy Penton
Signature HealthCARE of Buckhead
Listen for Feelings
6 Core Areas
• Sad
• Mad
• Scared
• Peaceful
• Powerful
• Joyful
Secondary Emotions
• Someone might describe
an emotion as “I feel Hurt.”
The feeling wheel helps us
see that underneath, at the
core, the person’s emotion
fits in the core emotion of
“Mad.”
• Someone who says they
are “Lonely,” at the core is
“Sad.”
Tertiary Emotions
• In the same way, if
someone feels
“Playful” the core
emotion is “Joyful,”
stemming from the
secondary,
“Creative.”
We all want to be heard
• When we listen for
emotions, we can
help others feel they
have been heard.
• We cannot see the
wind but we can
see the signs…
Guess Their Emotion
• We notice facial expressions as
clues. “You seem happy today.”
• You seem ____________ today.
• If we guess an emotion, we need to
have time to have our guess
affirmed or denied.
• We may need to apologize for
missing it… Use wisdom. If
someone is smiling, we would not
guess, “You seem frustrated.”
Anger
• If you sense someone is
angry, it may be better to
test the waters with a less
intense emotion…
especially for those who
have been taught it is not
polite to be angry…the
feeling wheel can provide
some emotions to test…
“You seem to be a little
frustrated…”
Closed Questions
• Closed questions help to end a
conversation. Asking one-word response
questions are “closed” questions.
• Did you____? [yes or no]
• Do you____? [yes or no]
• Will you ____? [yes or no]
Open Questions
• Open questions allow for conversation
expansion…and help us listen for emotions.
• How long have you felt lonely? (sad at the
core)…When did you first feel that way? Who or
What has helped you in the past to overcome your
sense of discouragement (fear at the core)?
Kinds of Listeners
• Are we Inquisitive or
• Investigative? Avoid quizzing too much…or asking
for facts just on the surface level. The person wants
to be heard… not interrogated!
• Advice-giving? Offer choices. Ask what choices they
see and ask which choice seems to suit them better.
• Understanding? When we believe we have been
deeply heard, we believe we have been deeply
loved.
Prayerfully Listen
• The Spirit of the Lord can help us with our
listening skills and our checking for feelings.
• Be Spirit-led!
• In my distress I called to the LORD;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears. Psalm
18:6 NIV
Thank you
You listened and you heard me!

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Listening For Emotions

  • 1. Listening for Emotions Chaplain Nancy Penton Signature HealthCARE of Buckhead
  • 2. Listen for Feelings 6 Core Areas • Sad • Mad • Scared • Peaceful • Powerful • Joyful
  • 3. Secondary Emotions • Someone might describe an emotion as “I feel Hurt.” The feeling wheel helps us see that underneath, at the core, the person’s emotion fits in the core emotion of “Mad.” • Someone who says they are “Lonely,” at the core is “Sad.”
  • 4. Tertiary Emotions • In the same way, if someone feels “Playful” the core emotion is “Joyful,” stemming from the secondary, “Creative.”
  • 5.
  • 6. We all want to be heard • When we listen for emotions, we can help others feel they have been heard. • We cannot see the wind but we can see the signs…
  • 7. Guess Their Emotion • We notice facial expressions as clues. “You seem happy today.” • You seem ____________ today. • If we guess an emotion, we need to have time to have our guess affirmed or denied. • We may need to apologize for missing it… Use wisdom. If someone is smiling, we would not guess, “You seem frustrated.”
  • 8. Anger • If you sense someone is angry, it may be better to test the waters with a less intense emotion… especially for those who have been taught it is not polite to be angry…the feeling wheel can provide some emotions to test… “You seem to be a little frustrated…”
  • 9. Closed Questions • Closed questions help to end a conversation. Asking one-word response questions are “closed” questions. • Did you____? [yes or no] • Do you____? [yes or no] • Will you ____? [yes or no]
  • 10. Open Questions • Open questions allow for conversation expansion…and help us listen for emotions. • How long have you felt lonely? (sad at the core)…When did you first feel that way? Who or What has helped you in the past to overcome your sense of discouragement (fear at the core)?
  • 11. Kinds of Listeners • Are we Inquisitive or • Investigative? Avoid quizzing too much…or asking for facts just on the surface level. The person wants to be heard… not interrogated! • Advice-giving? Offer choices. Ask what choices they see and ask which choice seems to suit them better. • Understanding? When we believe we have been deeply heard, we believe we have been deeply loved.
  • 12. Prayerfully Listen • The Spirit of the Lord can help us with our listening skills and our checking for feelings. • Be Spirit-led! • In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. Psalm 18:6 NIV
  • 13. Thank you You listened and you heard me!