Families function within functional systems. They generate their own rules, roles and responsibilities. Gambling addiction is progressive and not only affects the addict but everyone they relate and connect to. The primary route to their gambling is finances and this basically means that family, friends, work and strangers get hooked into the world of the gambling addiction. This presentation provides clarity to recognise the gambling problem, gain perspective and change from the old patterns that developed as the gambling addiction was progressing.

1. Welcome
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2. FAMILY EFFECTS
HOW DO FAMILIES SURVIVE
GAMBLING ADDICTION?

4. FAMILY SYSTEMS AND STRUCTURES
• Every family system creates its own structure
and interactive patters
• It aims to relieve tension and
solve problems

5. FUNCTIONS OF A FAMILY SYSTEM
• PROVIDES BOUNDARIES
• MEETS THE NEED TO BELONG AND BE LOVED
• PROVIDES SAFETY, MAINTENANCE AND
NURTURING
• DEFINES AUTONOMY AND SEPERATENESS
• DEFINES SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-WORTH
• PROVIDES A SENSE OF MEANING
• PROVIDES FUN AND ENTERTAINMENT
• PROVIDES SAFETY AND WARMTH

6. A HEALTHY VERSUS AND UNHEALTHY
FAMILY SYSTEM
• HEALTHY ADDICTION

7. BOUNDARIES
• RIGID BOUNDARIES
– BECOMES TOO PROTECTIVE AND RESULTS IN
ISOLATION AND LONELINESS
FLEXIBLE AND ADAPTABLE
DIFFUSE AND BOUNDARIES BEING TOO LOOSE
RESULTS IN EASY VIOLATION OF THEMSELVES

8. SEVERELY DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES
EXPERIENCE:
• ABUSE AND/OR NEGLECT (PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL
AND/OR SEXUAL)
• RULES SUCH AS “DON’T” TALK CREATES THE
SPACE FOR SECRETS TO EXIST
• AN INABILITY TO CONNECT WITH AND EXPRESS
FEELINGS
• PERFECTIONISM AND AN INABILITY TO HAVE FUN
• A HIGH TOLERANCE FOR INAPPROPRIATE
BEHAVIOUR AND PAIN

9. • ENMESHMENT AND OVER PROTECTION
• DOUBLE BIND MESSAGES
• MANIPULATION

10. RULES AND PATTERN FREQUENTLY
PRESENT IN ADDICTIVE FAMILIES:
• DON’T TALK
• DON’T FEEL
• DON’T TRUST
DUE TO THE ABOVE INTERNAL CONFLICT
OCCURS AS FAMILY MEMBERS DONT FEEL
SAFE. MANY ARE AROUND FINANCES WHICH
IMPLIES THAT FAMILIES ARE FULL OF FEAR,
ANGER, HURT AND EMOTIONAL PAIN.

11. • DISHONESTY, LIES AND SECRETS RESULT IN
FEELINGS OF BETRAYAL. THIS THEN TENDS TO
ERODE AND BREAK DOWN THE TRUST

12. PROBLEMS AND ISSUES FREQUENTLY
FOUND IN THESE FAMILIES:
• PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE INCLUDING
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
• NEGLECT
• WITHOLDING BASIC SURVIVAL NEEDS FROM THE
FAMILY
• NOT PROVIDING BASIC LOVING AND OTHER
SUPPORTIVE EMOTIONAL NEEDS
• VERBAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE DUE TO BLAMING,
SHAMING AND “NAGGING”
• THREATS AND INTIMIDATION DUE TO AN IMBALANCE
IN POWER THAT HAS EVOLVED

13. • PERFECTIONISM AND THE SETTING OF
UNREALISTIC HIGH STANDARDS
• CONSTANT CRITICISM
• UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
• SECRETS
• THE DONT TALK RULE LEAVES THE FAMILY IS IN
SIMILAR SITUATIONS WHERE SEXUAL ABUSE,
MENTAL ILLNESS AND SUICIDE ATTEMPTS OCCUR

14. • THIS MEANS THE FAMILY CANT GET SUPPORT
FROM THEIR FAMILIES, FRIENDS AND OTHER
SERVICES AVAILABLE TO THEM
• THEY THEN BECOMES PART OF THE LIES,
SECRETS AND DISHONESTY
• THEY DEVELOP THEIR OWN DENIAL PATTERNS

15. • AN INABILITY TO DEAL WITH FEELINGS
• DUE TO THE INTENSITY OF THE FEELINGS
EVOKED BY THE GAMBLER THE FOLLOWING
PATTERNS BEGING TO OCCUR:
– FEELING GET SUPPRESSED
– KEEPING UP APPEARANCES BECOMES THE NORM

16. • THE DRAMA TRIANGLE
VICTIM
PROSECUTORENABLER

17. • ENMESHMENT:
THE OBSESSIONAL AND COMPULSIVE NATURE
OF THE CO-DEPENDENT
THESE INDIVIDUALS LOOSE THEIR OWN
IDENTITIES
THEY ALSO LOOSE ALL THEIR SPONTANEITY
DENIAL BECOMES A WAY OF LIFE FOR THEM

18. THEIR OWN DENIAL BECOMES A WAY OF LIFE
FOR THEM
THEIR OWN BEHAVIOUR BEGINS TO SERVE A
PURPOSE (SUCH AS BEING NEEDED OR
ATTEMPTING TO CONTROL THE ADDICT)

19. SURVIVAL ROLES THAT EMERGE
AROUND THE ADDICTED GAMBLER
1. THE CO-DEPENDENT OR ENABLER
THESE ARE PEOPLE THAT BECOME ADDICTED
THE ADDICTED GAMBLER
THEIR WORRY, SADNESS, ANXIETY AND
ATTEMPTS TO CONTROL THE GAMBLER IN
ITSELF BECOMES ADDICTIVE AND BECOMES A
“NORMAL” WAY OF LIFE
THEY ARE OFTEN DESCRIBED AS THE SUPER-
SPOUSE, THE MARTYR, THE SAINT OR THE
MEDIATOR

20. 2. THE HERO
THIS PERSON ATTEMPTS TO COMPENSATE
FOR THE DYSFUNCTION BY BECOMING A TOP
PERFORMER
IF IT IS A CHILD THEY ARE OFTEN CALLED THE
LITTLE PARENT
IN OTHER CASES IT IS CALLED THE ACHIEVER
OR THE ULTIMATE VICTIM

21. 3. THE SCAPEGOAT
THIS PERSON BECOMES THE REBEL, THE HIPER
ACTIVE ATTENTION SEEKER, THE UNDER-
PERFORMER AND IN SOME CASES THEY
MANIFEST WITH MANY PSYCHOSOMATIC
SYMPTOMS
4. THE MASCOT
THIS PERSON IS DESCRIBED AS “CUTE” OR

22. THE SUNSHINE IN A STORM.
ALSO CALLED THE “CLOWN” AS THEY TEND TO
ATTEMPT TO HUMOURISE THE TENSION AND
FIND RELIEF FROM THE STRESS IN THE FAMILY
5. THE LOST PERSON
THIS PERSON BECOMES QUIET AND
WITHDRAWN, ALOOF AND DISTANT. THEY
APPEAR TO DEVELOP SEFL-CONFIDENCE AND
A SENSE OF SUPER-INDEPENDENCE

23. WHAT DO THESE ADOPTED ROLES
EXPRESS AS A NEED?
• THE ENABLER/CO-DEPENDENT
THEY NEED TO EXPRESS RESPONSIBILITY
• THE HERO
NEEDS TO PROVIDE SELF-WORTH
• THE SCAPEGOAT
NEEDS TO PROVIDE DISTRACTION (TO
ANOTHER PROBLEM)

24. • THE MASCOT
THIS PROVIDES A HAPPY DISTRACTION AND
THE KEEPING UP APPEARENCES
• THE LOST/INVISIBLE PERSON
THEY NEED TO BELIEVE THAT THERE ISN’T A
PROBLEM

25. RECOVERY FOR THE FAMILY
1. EARLY PHASE
CRISIS MANAGEMENT
SUPPORT THE BREAKING OF THE ‘DON’T TALK
RULE AND THUS ERODING THE DENIAL AND
SECRETS
SUPPORT THE UNCOVERING OF REALITY
SUPPORT THE ACCEPTANCE THAT THEY NEED
HELP/TREATMENT FOR THESE PROBLEMS
SUPPORT THE EXPRESSING OF FEELINGS

26. 2. MIDDLE PHASE
EMPHASISE THAT IT IS A PROCESS AND WILL
TAKE TIME
ASSIST AND ENCOURAGE THE RECOVERY
SET AND ESTABLISH NEW BOUNDARIES
ESTABLISH NEW RULES IN THE FAMILY
CONFRONT YOUR OWN PART OF THE
PROBLEM

27. 3. LONG-TERM
MAKE A DECISION TO CHANGE THE OLD
PATTERN AND IMPLEMENT NEW PATTERNS
CONFRONT YOUR OWN PAIN – THERAPY AND
SUPPORT GROUPS
SEEK HELP FOR THE EXTENDED FAMILY
GROUP THERAPY IS ESPECIALLY HELPFUL

28. SOME FUNDAMENTAL GUIDELINES
• COMMUNICATE WITH ALL FAMILY MEMBERS
WITHOUT JUDGEMENT OR BLAME
• BE HONEST
• SUPPORT CHANGE AND SPEAK ABOUT “NEW
BEHAVIOUR”
• CONFRONT AND CHALLENGE WITH LOVE AND
RESPECT

29. Thank you
To view material from this talk visit
www.sacap.edu.za/events
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#PsychologyFest