2. What we worked on last class:
Differences between high school, college and university
writing
Fundamentals of postsecondary writing
Rundown of the writing assignment
3. Today we’ll look at:
Thesis:
What makes a thesis strong
What role the thesis plays throughout the paper structurally
Some reasons why theses do or don’t work
**Through the session we’ll be drawing on content from the book
‘Writing Analytically’ by Rosenwasser, Stephen and Babington
4. “The Thesis-Builder’s Bottom Line”
Look for a thesis by focusing on an area of your subject that you
feel should be opened to opposing viewpoints or multiple
interpretations. Rather than attempting to locate a single right
answer, search for something that raises questions.
Treat your thesis as a hypothesis to be tested rather than an
obvious truth.
Evolve your thesis – move it forward – by seeing the questions
that each new formulation of it prompts you to ask
5. “The Thesis-Builder’s Bottom Line” –
cont.
Develop the implications of your evidence and of your
observations as fully as you can by repeatedly asking “So
what?”
When you encounter potentially conflicting evidence (or
interpretations of that evidence), don’t simply abandon your
thesis. Take advantage of the complications to expand,
qualify, and refine your thesis until you arrive at the most
accurate explanation of the evidence that you can manage.
6. How to fix a weak thesis:
1. The thesis makes no claim
Example:
“I’m going to write about Darwin’s concerns with evolution in The Origin of
Species”
There is nothing at stake, no issue to be resolved.
Solution: Raise specific issues for the essay to explore, & propose specific opinions
Solution ex:
Darwin’s concern with survival of the fittest in The Origin of Species initially leads him to
neglect a potentially conflicting aspect of his theory of evolution – survival as a matter of
interdependence.
7. How to fix a weak thesis:
2. The thesis is obviously true or is a statement or fact
Example:
“The jeans industry targets its advertisements to appeal to young adults.”
There is no point in arguing something that few people would find doubt in – its not interesting, the
vague follow-up cues us that there may be tension in exploration of the vagueness
Solution: find some avenue of inquiry – a question about the facts or an issue raised by them. Make an
assertion with which it would be possible for readers to disagree.”
Solution ex:
By inventing new terms, such as “loose fit” and “relaxed fit,” the jeans industry has attempted to
normalize, even glorify, its product for an older and fatter generation.
8. How to fix a weak thesis:
3. The thesis restates conventional wisdom
Example:
“An important part of one’s college education is learning to better understand others’
points of view.”
These are clichés.
Solution: Seek to complicate – see more than one point of view on – your subject. Avoid
conventional wisdom unless you can qualify it or introduce a fresh perspective on it.
Solution ex:
While an important part of one’s college education is learning to better understand others’
points of view, a persistent danger is that the students will simply be required to substitute
the teacher’s answers for the ones they grew up uncritically believing.
9. How to fix a weak thesis:
4. The thesis offers personal conviction as the basis for the claim
Example:
“Sir Thomas More’s Utopia proposes an unworkable set of solutions to society’s problems because, like communist Russia, it
suppresses individualism.”
Personal opinions are not self-evident truths. Check to see if the answer to the question is “because I think so”.
Solution: Replace opinions (in the form of self-evident truths) with ideas – theories about the meaning and significance of
the subjects that could be supported and qualified with evidence.
Solution ex:
Sir Thomas More’s Utopia treats individualism as a serious but remediable social problem. His radical treatment of what we
might now call “socialization” attempts to redefine the meaning and origin of individual identity.
10. How to fix a weak thesis:
5. The thesis makes an overly broad claim
Examples:
“Violent revolutions have had both positive and negative results for man.”
Overly generalized theses avoid complexity, and make a thesis impossible to argue well, because
there is too much to say and the argument lacks focus.
Solution: Convert broad strategies and generic (fits anything) claims to more specific, more qualified
assertions; find new ways to bring out the complexity of your subject.
Solution ex:
Although violent revolutions begin to redress long-standing social inequities, they often do so at the
cost of long-term economic dysfunction and the suffering that attends it.
11. The Grammar of a Good Thesis
Don’t rely on nouns, but instead verbs
Be specific with your word choice (especially transitional ones),
using active voice (verbs) when possible instead of passive
Move toward specificity in word choice, in sentence structure, and in
idea.
Be conscious of what order things are expressed in your
sentences. This affects emphasis in a big way and sometimes
changes the meaning.
12. The Question of the Question
Can a thesis be a question?:
This makes it difficult because there is no overt “claim”
Use these cautiously, include a follow-up claim sentence if
possible
13. **Exercise:
1. Read this thesis statement, and ask yourself “what does the
thesis require the writer to do next?” – play with wording until
the follow through structure seems interesting and intact
Thesis: Regarding the promotion of women into executive positions,
they are continually losing the race because of a corporate view that
women are too compassionate to keep up with the competitiveness of a
powerful man.
14. **Exercise – cont:
2. Have a partner read your thesis statement, and give you
feedback about what it means to them, and the ways its
working or not, try to help each other polish your thesis
statements
3. As a group we’ll read and discuss the thesis
statements everyone arrived at, to get a sense of what we’ve
learned and can apply when writing theses in the future
