3. 3
What We’re Going to Cover Today
• Click with Ease: What is it?
• Chance or Choice?
• Tips and Traps
• Engaging Vision to Action
• Mindset for Collaboration
40. 40
• Name: Rona Puntawe
Web:
www.howtocreatechange.com
www.futurepaceglobal.com
• Email: rona@futurepaceglobal.com
• LinkedIn: Rona Puntawe Ptschelinzew
Thank you!Add your
Picture
here
To rate my session
Click on my session and
answer the survey questions
Hinweis der Redaktion
Please add your notes here
I have a confession to make: this presentation was intended to be a workshop. Bad news is that, you only get a 90 minute version of it. The good news is that, I have to force myself to focus on the “difference that makes the difference”.
In the last 10 years, I studied, trained, observed, practiced, learned about psychology of excellence, and recently risk and decision-making, behavior economics and cognitive science.
Trained for hundreds of hours in neurolinguistic programming or NLP. Got certified as Advanced Coach by Dr. John Grinder, father of NLP.
In 2013, went to UK for Train the Trainer in symbolic modeling and clean language – in other words, tools for brain hacking.
Last year, as birthday gift to myself, attended the first International Workshop Conference in Neuroeconomics and listened to ground-breaking unpublished work by leading thinkers from leading universities: Harvard, Yale, Oxford, Cambridge… etc.
I am attempting to distil in the next 70-90 minutes what I have learned in the last 10 years. focusing on the most transformational, the most fundamental foundations that enable people to Click with Ease – that allow effortless connections, engage collaboration and ultimately, influence transformation.
I invite you to take this opportunity today to try out what I am about to share. I invite you to test it out, when you walk out this door today, and see if it works for yourself what has already worked for thousands of people before you.
Just got message from a friend (met a decade or so): "I'm intrigued and would love to hear the story of what happened to the demure and rather shy young lady in a pink 'Chanel' suit first introduced... way back when..." Ah, 10 years flew by so fast. I lived and worked from Singapore, to USA, to Australia. Travelled. Backpacked. Lived with Guatemalan family to learn Spanish. Crossed border of Argentina to Brazil with a lift from a random stranger. Danced with strangers from tango schools of Buenos Aires to the Favellas of Rio de Janeiro. Hosted by people I’ve never met before from Mexico to Iceland, Croatia to Italia. Modelled a best-selling author in Indonesia and wrote my own novel. Won – and judged – public speaking contests with Toastmasters International. Hung out with street hypnotists, neuroscientists, entrepreneurs, social activists, healers, capitalists… I have practiced with people from different walks of life, taken what I learned from training rooms to the streets back to the Boardroom… and IT WORKS!
WHAT WE’RE GOING TO COVER TODAY (Only go through headlines not the detailed outline) 1. Introduction and Framing of Session -20 mins
My Experience and background What is Click with Ease - Effortless Connection
Flipchart Exercise and Discussion
--> Dyads: Think of a Time When you Clicked with Someone, That's Like What?
--> Group Share: Facilitator Write-up Responses on Flipchart (to be referred back to in closing)
Why "Click with Ease" is important
--> Demonstrate with success stories in project management applying "Click with Ease"
2. Click with Ease: Chance or Choice? - 10 mins
We have experienced what it is, but was it just chance or do we have a choice?
Group Activity #1: Having a Choice
3. Three Things that Give you Choice - 20 mins
Attention, State and Rapport - Distinctions of the concepts and how they give choice in creating positive interactions and engaging people
Group Activity #2 (Part 1): Conversation Starter in Groups of Three (Person A, Person B, Person C)
Group Activity #2 (Part 2): Applying Attention - Conversation Starter in Groups of Three (Person A, Person B, Person C)
4.Tips and Traps: Virtuous vs. Vicious Cycle of Communication - 15 mins
What is a virtuous vs.vicious cycle of communication
Group Activity g#3: Creating a Positive Cycle of Communication – apply rapport and create a virtuous cycle of communication
5. Engaging Vision to Action: Collaboration and Change - 20 mins
Framing as Directing Attention and Key to Influence
Questioning as a Framing Technique
The Transformational Question: Key towards a Shared Vision and Action
Group Activity #4: Applying Transformational Question
The “Successful Outcomes Questions”: How to Develop Well-formed Outcomes Group Activity #5: Applying the Successful Outcomes Questions (Note: Both activities can be combbined into one)
6. Recap and Closing - 5 Mins
Reality Check - Going Back to the Flipchart - Have We Experienced this Today?
Conclusion: What We have Learned Today
(This indicates that we have achieved the objectives for the session)
What is CWE? Why it’s important? Do we have a choice over it?
WHAT IS CLICK WITH EASE LIKE? 5 mins
Chances are, you already clicked with someone. You already know what it’s like to just naturally and effortlessly connect with someone you just met. Think about a time your past: when you met your partner perhaps? Your best friend? Or maybe you just clicked with someone you randomly met at the pub, the bar, the gym, in the train, the airport, the café…
Intention: Create an engaged state. Get the participants talking. Break the ice.
CHANCES ARE…
ICEBREAKER ACTIVITY: Interaction: 5 mins (2 mins each way, plus buffer)
I want you to turn to your partner: Think of a time when you clicked with someone easily, naturally? What is it like to click with someone like that (snap fingers -- anchor with positive states throughout the speech)?
Debrief: How does that feel? What happens when you click with someone you just met? (Get responses, snap fingers - get audience to adapt anchor)
(Continued from previous)
WE CLICK in different contexts, at different levels for different reasons:
Individuals – establishing new connections, developing new relationships. We want to create something together, or do business together, to deliver and receive a service… to get people to buy something from us: a product or an idea. We want to make life fun, easy and happy.
Groups –engaging an audience, facilitating group dynamic. We want to click with an audience to deliver a message, to engage co-operation and collaboration. How many of us here had to deal with SILOs? POLITICS?
Institutions – cultural sync, fitting in. When we are new in an organization, we need to fit in order to hit the ground running. Ultimately, we want to click with a group and an institution-- it is about a SENSE OF BELONGING.
Are you ready for another activity? Find a partner. One is A, the other B. Instructions: A: Share a story about a “magical” experience or a “happy outcome” you had at work. B: Just come from a state of acceptance, suspend any judgement or criticism. Respond to A, but only with “Yes, and…” A: Continue the conversation, but every time you talk, start with “Yes, and..” And so on and so forth… just keep opening your response with a “Yes, and…”
(This will be explained with a flipchart illustration and need not be projected as a PowerPoint slide). What you experienced is what we call a VIRTUOUS CYCLE OF COMMUNICATION. Of course, the exercise was just to demonstrate it and may feel a little bit orchestrated than you would normally experience day to day conversations. What you did just then is really to have a “positive framing of attention”. You accept the other person’s statement, build on it with a “Yes, and…” frame. That “Yes, and…” is an accepting frame, which puts the other person at ease.
(This can be drawn on a flipchart instead of shown as a PowerPoint slide)
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT FOR US AS PROJECT MANAGERS? 1 min Now we realize what click with ease is like, what it’s about, When we click, did we just get lucky? Was it a chance or do we have a choice?
We’ve heard clichés like “it is nice to be important, but it is more important to be nice.” Or no matter how good your product, service or idea, people will not buy from you unless they like you.
As project managers, we may encounter stakeholders we absolutely need to click with. It could be a sponsor who would approve your budget. It could be a new team member whom you need to get things done. Life is much more fun too when you click. Clicking does not just happen by accident. It is not as much a matter of CHANCE as much as it is a MATTER OF CHOICE!
WOULD YOU LIKE TO FIND OUT HOW WE COULD HAVE A CHOICE OVER IT???
Instead of me talking some more, I would like us to have a little bit of fun. Are you ready to have some fun!!!!???
You will learn by experience 1. Exercise on rapport
2. Exercise on Attention through Framing
3. Exercise on state management
WOULD YOU LIKE TO FIND OUT HOW WE COULD HAVE A CHOICE OVER IT? 10 mins Let’s have fun, this is where we now have the opportunity to try things out and experiment -- before you go out there and start testing things out.
It is about attention and the state that we create.
What we are about to do is about two things: ATTENTION AND STATE
Person A: Note something of interest. Compliment. Pay attention: sound of voice, body language, breathing, pace, level of energy, etc. Act as if you are totally interested and fascinated with your partner
Person B: Respond to person A. Expand on what Person A said and talk about something that you are passionate about or very interested about.
Person C: Pay attention and calibrate. Notice similarities and differences between Person A and Person B.
(Instructions to Person A)
(Instructions to Person B)
(Instruction to Person C)
DEBRIEF: 5 mins
Person A, what was that like? Person B? Person C - what did you notice?
SWITCH: C to A, A to B, B to C
THE THREE KEY THINGS THAT GIVES YOU CHOICE
So here are the foundations you have experienced:
1. Attention: What was it like to pay attention? We take it for granted but how often do we really pay attention and calibrate to detect patterns? Pay attention to how we pay attention…
2. State: State of being curious goes hand in hand with attention. Being interested puts your attention in the other person. The other thing is creating a positive state. You complimenting the other person with a conversation starter – it creates a positive state. A state of interest and curiosity suspends judgement. It creates a positive or virtuous cycle of communication vs. vicious cycle.
3. Rapport – is simply he outcome of attention and state and an experience of clicking with ease. Mirroring and matching are simply evidence or indicators that you are in rapport. Easiest way to establish rapport is to be curious and be interested. Or “act as if”. Your unconscious mind does not know the difference if you act “As if”.
SO HOW DO ALL THESE HELP YOU ENGAGE COLLABORATION AND INFLUENCE TRANSFORMATION? - 10 mins
INFLUENCE is nothing but directing attention
FRAMING is the most powerful way to direct attention.
Anchor frames attention. Snapping the fingers like this, grabs your attention.
Stories frame attention. The story I shared anchored your attention before I asked you to share something, an experience of being engaged.
Questions frame attention. So when you ask the right kind of question, you are able to direct attention to achieve your outcome in an interaction. (Example... 6 steps article & WWYLTHH -- just illustrate a case example, can get audience to download resources uploaded in my LinkedIn profile)
QUESTIONS are a powerful frame to direct attention towards collaboration and transformation
The most transformational questions:
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE HAPPEN? AND WHEN… THAT IS LIKE WHAT?
But you can’t do any of these, any influencing, until you have engaged someone, connected with someone, and maintained rapport by creating the necessary conditions of paying attention with a state curiosity and interest.
EXERCISE #4: In pairs… Person A: Deliberately state a “problem/remedy” Person B: Asks the question “And when (re-state problem/remedy). What would you to have happen?
ask “What would you like to have happen now?” Keep doing this until a positively stated outcome.
One of the most rewarding things about testing something and it works is when we are able to bring it back to work and make a real difference. Tough project (FFG). Position was vacant for 3 months. Nobody wanted to take it on. Stigma around the program, career suicide for anyone to be seconded to it. I was the third director. Morale was very low. There was much drama, screaming, crying. Bullying. I clicked with the Sponsor. I clicked with the team. I clicked with the stakeholders. All these did not happen by accident: I applied what I learned, what I just shared. I had one-on-one face-time with all of the key stakeholders. Some of them were happy enough that I even paid attention to them! No one simply engaged with them before! Clicking was just the beginning, asking the right questions framed the right conversations. The most difficult and resistant leader, ended up rallying the executive team to transition.
In the end, what was a project from hell turned out to be one of the best: we achieved our goals, but most of all we had fun. To this day, despite us being disbanded into different projects and organisations, we still keep in touch and relive those fond memories and war stories.
Once you click with a group, especially in the context of creating change, then you could move on to facilitate translating vision to action. This is about making strategies real… how we bring strategies to life. (Here explain or demonstrate the Successful Outcome Frame. If there’s still time left, proceed with pair activity.)
THE THREE KEY THINGS THAT GIVES YOU CHOICE
So here are the foundations you have experienced:
1. Attention: What was it like to pay attention? We take it for granted but how often do we really pay attention and calibrate to detect patterns? Pay attention to how we pay attention…
2. State: State of being curious goes hand in hand with attention. Being interested puts your attention in the other person. The other thing is creating a positive state. You complimenting the other person with a conversation starter – it creates a positive state. A state of interest and curiosity suspends judgement. It creates a positive or virtuous cycle of communication vs. vicious cycle.
3. Rapport – is simply he outcome of attention and state and an experience of clicking with ease. Mirroring and matching are simply evidence or indicators that you are in rapport. Easiest way to establish rapport is to be curious and be interested. Or “act as if”. Your unconscious mind does not know the difference if you act “As if”.
IN SUMMARY
RAPPORT – THE BEST EVIDENCE OF rapport is when people start matching and mirroring. As all the Cs may have noticed. I noted X and Y, they were talking at the same speed, and same tone. A & B, their body language mirror each other. So pay attention, if the other person starts mirroring and matching you, they’re likely already engaged…
Click with Ease is all about Attention. What we pay attention to, how we pay attention and where we draw the other people's attention.
What we experienced today: clicking with someone we just met. we can use the same principles to click with a group, to engage collaboration across a whole organisation. That's a whole day workshop in itself. There are so many applications, etc. etc. Many opportunities that Click with Ease can open doors... travel, business, career, relationships, etc.
Here’s a secret: When your whole attention is on the other person, you forget yourself, self-consciousness dissolves, and you naturally relieve any pressure on yourself... that shy girl in the pink Chanel suit, well she simply became more interested in other people and more curious of the world around her… as you become interested, you become interesting. As you become curious, you become engaging. Then everything clicks – yes, just like that – with ease.
