To become successful one has to try to avoid these self-defeating behaviours to scale the ladder of success and reach the stars. good luck. Challa S.S.J.Ram Phani Chief Consultrainer aimkaam - Hyderabad

1. Ten Self-Defeating Behaviors to Avoid Challa S.S.J.Ram Phani Trainer – Soft Skills * Source : Ten Self-Defeating Behaviors to Avoid by Mark Goulston

2. Take initiative if you… Want to Succeed at Work? First Step: Get Out of Your Own Way

3. E verybody here has the ability to do anything I do and much beyond. Some of you will and some of you won't. For those who won't, it will be because you get in your own way, not because the world doesn't allow you. - W arren Buffett, speaking at the University of Washington about achieving success.

9. 2. Talking over or at others : When you do this, you trigger frustration and resentment. Instead of pumping people up, you run over or agitate them. In either case their motivation is replaced by a desire to resist or rebel. Why would they want to make you successful when you dehumanize them and treat them like a function instead of a person?

10. 3. Not listening : You frustrate people by making them feel that whatever they have to say is unimportant. In this case, rather than being rebellious, they stop trying because they feel that if you don't care about what's important to them, why should they care about what's important to you.

11. 4. Not delegating : If after you tell people to do something you don't get out of their way and let them do it, they will begin to second guess themselves (or, more accurately, not know what the heck you want from them), which will cause them to stall. When you see their hesitation (which you caused by micromanaging them), it will make it even more difficult for you to let them run with the ball.

12. 5. Using jargon : If something is important enough for people to understand, it's important enough to make it understandable. Using jargon with people who don't understand it will make this difficult and rarely will they feel comfortable enough to tell you they don't follow what you're saying.

13. 6. Being afraid to fire people: One of your greatest responsibilities as a leader is terminating people who are incompetent, unproductive and destructive to a company. There are few things that earn or lose the respect of people in your company more than living up to or shirking this responsibility. And don't kid yourself. Everybody's watching.

14. 7. Fear and avoidance of giving performance reviews : Giving performance reviews can be daunting. They require being clear and specific about what people need to do to improve and then following through to make sure they've done it in their next review. Too often you know the results you want from your people as opposed to how your employees should go about getting those results. As a result you will too often do these reviews in a pro forma way rather than using them as they're meant to be used - as vehicles for improving performance.

15. 8. Fear of confrontation : The more focused you are on using your rational faculties and analytic skills to set goals and develop plans for reaching them, the more your ability to deal with emotional tumult can wane if not actually atrophy. Research by Drs. Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves at Talentsmart has demonstrated that emotional intelligence increases as you go up the chain of command to the senior V.P. level and then deteriorates in executives and leaders above that.

16. That may be due to high-level executives needing to "execute" strategies and, in order to do that, regarding employees more as functions than as people. The resulting negative emotional reaction by your people to being treated this way can sometimes blindside you. You may react by adopting a bunker mentality and avoiding the necessary confrontations to keep your company on track . Fear of confrontation (contd.)

17. 9. Fear of failing : As you become older the fear of making a mistake can become greater than your desire to do something right. It can have a corrosive effect on your confidence and can allow doubt to metastasize through your decision-making ability. Over time it will cause you to become too tentative to takes the necessary risks in order to help your company flourish and grow.

18. 10. Not getting buy-in : When what you say and do doesn't make sense, feel right, or seem doable to your people, they will buy out instead of buying in to what you want them to do. They may nod in agreement to your face, but unless they truly buy in they are not going to follow through in the way you hoped they would.

19. What can you do if you are getting in your own way with these or other self-defeating (and success-defeating) behaviors? It is a matter of always recognizing and then dealing with reality as it actually is, rather than what you think it to be. To do this, seek out, hire, and follow the input of the most able and brightest people possible.

20. Ronald Reagan said, "Surround yourself with the best people you can find, delegate authority, and don't interfere as long as the policy you've decided upon is being carried out." We might add: Surround yourself with trusted people who are not hesitant about letting you know when you're getting in your own way and then nudging/kicking you to get back on track.

21. Help urself to get out of ur way! Good luck ! Challa S.S.J.Ram Phani [email_address]