1. Raj K Pandey, GPO Box: 19862, Kathmandu, Nepal, rajkpandey2000@yahoo.com, rajkpandey2000@hotmail.com
Dear Friend:
This justification and all attachments will logically explain, analyze and convince you not only
about the e-marriage proposal, but also on the humanitarian relationship in general, and male
and female marital relationship in specific from different prospective. The following section will
be useful for all of us to clearly understand the practical difficulties during match making process
in our life. This text has been disseminated via www.mybibaha.com on behalf of its originator,
especially for the interested single lady: University Graduate, Job Holder/Self-employed Girl.
The primary cause for using the webmail based information technology (IT) system for a general
matrimonial related enquiry is due to the distance induced bravery. I am directly and personally
approaching for the life's most sensitive, difficult and challenging issue on a supposition that the
marriage is the most natural, psychological, emotional and social dire need of both — male and
female, sometimes once in a life. Moreover, each family may have an eligible bachelor — family
members, relatives, social networks, colleagues and friend circles — who might have informally
searching a suitable match for their grown-up children through existing traditional social network
approach due to the push/pull factors, but they might also have not been completely able to find
out the right candidate for their fully grown-up children in consideration of several other issues.
We are aware that all unmarried persons, including us, have an imaginative image for an ideal
life partner on our subconscious minds/dreams from the very early teenage of our lives. To find
our lifelong envisioned ideal/dream person into the reality, our minds/souls unknowingly keep on
searching/exploring around with an expectation that s/he, who is imaginarily living with us in our
subconscious minds from the very early age, will come soon even in the reality of life. We hope
that s/he will be the right friend to spend rest of our lives together for the better aesthetic values,
which will permanently end the bitter loneliness feeling and inner vacuum within ourselves. But,
very few people are lucky enough for such unconditional true love, which all can not find in their
life. However, unfortunately, our age keeps on running out rapidly for waiting that especial friend
in real life, albeit we are not sure yet, when we will meet her/him in the reality. Consequently,
when we do not meet our lifelong expected dreams into the reality, it creates enough anxiety,
stress, frustration, personality and psychological disorders among us and we feel extremely sad.
Likewise, both arranged and love marriage have certain pros and cons but 'like minded values
and ethos based' marries, where both will have total freedom of choice for the rational selection
of an appropriate life partner, is the best approach since decision of social-knot directly affects
both. Moreover, we have limited social networks, family ties and relatives, where we can hardly
find the dreamed and qualified partner due to lack of an easy and direct access with her/him. On
the other hand, our extremely busy mechanical routine life from early morning to late evening for
our other daily priorities, has limited us for the better option to expand the social network. As a
result, the tremendously competitive world, especially in the fast metropolitan life, has made us
extremely lonely even among the huge mob of the people, as we can hardly mix-up with them
due to their varied nature as well as lack of sufficient spare time with us. Similarly, we are totally
option and voiceless to select a suitable right partner, when marries proposal is put forward from
our closed relatives since we can hardly say 'no' to them despite our several reservations. The
marries facilitators also unnecessarily exaggerate on the qualities of the possible grooms/brides,
which may not be realistic in the practical life. But, marries decision that we make only once in a
life is for the sake of entirely ourselves, not to make others happy since it determines our future.
Moreover, even a self-chosen love marries and/or arranged marriage can hardly be guaranteed
for lifelong success, durable and happy relationship until our death. Subsequently, it is always a
creative tension as well as hidden mental stress to make a marriage related single decision with
a totally unseen person, which is exactly like a gambling, either we will be winner or looser!
Mobile: (977-01) 9851086884/9841813529, Raj K Pandey (Chhetri), Jawalakhel, Lalitpur (Page1/3)

2. Raj K Pandey, GPO Box: 19862, Kathmandu, Nepal, rajkpandey2000@yahoo.com, rajkpandey2000@hotmail.com
However, we have to ultimately trust an unfamiliar opposite gender and select a totally unseen
person as a lifelong partner out of six billion plus population on this earth. Although, we are not
sure yet, who s/he will be, where s/he is now, what s/he is doing, how s/he will approach to us
and when s/he will be our real friend as well as how our future relationship will go with her/him.
We, ultimately, need to focus merely for his/her comfort/happiness until we die as soon as s/he
enters into our life as change maker, who will impart significantly differences throughout our life.
Beside this, what we are mainly lacking to find out our lifelong visualized opposite ideal partner
is — easy access, effective negotiation, two-way communication, sufficient time for interactions
and most importantly inner courage and self-confidence to approach her and directly propose
for marriage due to fear of rejection. However, the sky is unlimited and six billion-plus populated
world is beyond our horizon, although we don't have an easy access to directly contact her. It is
not a wrong idea to creatively but gently approach her and exchange our mutual information for
an enquiry since s/he might also have been waiting for the entry of a right person into her life for
her marriage purpose — who knows we may be the hero by mistake as we both may have been
made as an ideal life partner for each-others! As marries is one time great event in our life and
we can try our level best to invite the proposal from the most eligible, well-cultured person/family
background as far as possible. But, we should never enforce/persuade the second party to
make a decision favorable to us since the marriage relationship must be based on independent
personal decision of both — without external influence, pressure, threat, hanky-panky and so on
— even from family members. Let's continue our dream till we get the best one, when dream is
over and shattered, we will really suffer for loosing hope in life. We should not easily accept the
cowardice defeat, without waging another effective war to achieve the lifelong visualized person
as we can find exactly the same what and whom we dream, if marries is truly made in heaven.
I, therefore, have used atypical modus-operandi in exploring ideal life partner and it is expected
that s/he will be the exact lady, whom I have imagined and retained in my subconscious mind
from early teenage. Let's see how general people in our conservative society will perceive such
a different method as individual interpretations/judgments are the outcomes of our backgrounds.
But, I am certain that she will be the lady with exact attributes, who will positively accept not only
such a unique process, but also other several social transformations as mediocre narrow mind
can never welcome any changes in the new environments since they are totally happy to live in
the traditional status-qua situation due to fear of unwanted social criticism and likely risk in life.
The most essential pre-requirement for possible happy marital life is that both male and female,
first of all, should have natural attraction from heart, without external influence, at a preliminary
face-to-face meeting — both should feel 'click' in their minds to see each-others at the first sight.
The first meeting and its overall impressions generally determine whether the further contacts
will be strengthened/interrupted. If both feel compatible and comfortable with each-other during
introductory conversation process, their minds and hearts will spontaneously but unknowingly
admit as like-minded prospective friends despite other several men-made gaps and obstacles
— economical, social, educational, psychological and professional — as both have emotionally,
mentally as well as psychologically accepted without any pre-occupied minds and persuasions.
If both are honest, respectable, loveable and acceptable, a kind of special feeling, thought and
emotional rapport will be developed within ourselves, which will further enhance for the deep-
rooted love, affection, interdependency and psycho-socio belongingness to reinforce the post-
marital life. Subsequently, both will heartily accept not only the roses but also the thrones since
couple has strong emotional and sentimental heart-to-heart bonds based on natural attraction,
trust and self-commitment for the life-long association until death, which nobody can easily alter.
As the human relationship is related with the meeting of like-minded minds and the common
wave-length can further enhance for the retention of long-term marital relationship in our life.
Mobile: (977-01) 9851086884/9841813529, Raj K Pandey (Chhetri), Jawalakhel, Lalitpur (Page2/3)

3. Raj K Pandey, GPO Box: 19862, Kathmandu, Nepal, rajkpandey2000@yahoo.com, rajkpandey2000@hotmail.com
Moreover, if we find exact dreamed partner, all our senses might be positively persuaded and
heartbeat might be amplified due to an unique feeling within us — exactly the same natural
process that we can closely observe among animal kingdom — where inner natural chemistry
between them determines their attraction/repulsion for further relationship at a very first meeting
of both. We can also boost pleasure of mind, inner happiness and satisfaction through natural
process, if couple has liking minds and web length for each other via — reciprocal unconditional
love, caring, sharing, mutual understanding and respect for feeling and emotion of the husband
and wife, which should based on the ground of mutual trust and honesty. It is a general human
tendency that whatever we perform, we simply act upon in order to avoid the pain and gain the
pleasure. We, therefore, generally worry and fear with the likely change process and reluctant to
renounce the comfort zones, but we have to eventually accept new roles and responsibilities
despite uncertain results in our life.
If spouse have certain common grounds, particularly in terms of their socio-cultural values,
ethos, interests, likings, disliking as well as shared dreams and visions, the post-marital life will
enhance better synergy, positive energy, creativity and prosperity for both. However, if marriage
is completely based on compromises, conditionality, baseless commitments and dishonesty, it
may prove counterproductive at any time in a long run since the relationship must be based on
the bond of trust and honesty as it is simply the beginning of relationship not the end. Moreover,
if we establish a marital relationship on the ground of untruth, dishonesty, exaggeration and
hanky-panky, it will mentally hurt your partner due to a betrayed deal, which will make her/him
lifelong regretful that will never keep your partner happy. If your partner is not happy at all due to
your dishonesty, it is obvious s/he can never keep you/your family members happy as well.
Moreover, approached person might not have made her mind for her marriage at this particular
juncture and/or she might have settled. Similarly, both might not have met their pre-occupied
basic expectations and criteria as well as both may have differences in terms of their so-called
socio-economy, socio-cultural and family-based values, which may indirectly affect post-marital
life, particularly during elderly age because of the likely cultural socks. Consequently, everybody
has freedom of choice for the rational decision for her/his marriage without external pressure
and persuasion since being self-master we should not feel regrets for our self-decision. Finally,
if your eligible unmarried lady family members, friend circles, relatives and female colleagues —
at least an university graduate, job holder/self-employed and well-cultured pretty looking lady —
is thinking for her marriage within this year, please convey and forward this information. As a
result, she/her family members can rationally assess our suitability from different prospective for
the perfect matching as far as we can make it, if marries is a matter of choice! Your tiny efforts
will directly support us to reduce the 'information poverty' and search of an ideal life-partner of
two persons will be permanently over. If your interested lady friends/their family members wish
to contact me/my parents/sisters to discuss more seriously, please feel free to contact us.
Please refer all the attachments and looking forward for a positive response soon.
Warm Regards!
Raj K Pandey Chhetri, (MBS, MA)
Jawalakhel, Lalitpur, GPO Box: 19862, Kathmandu (Nepal)
Mobile: (977-01) 98510 86884
Mobile: (977-01) 9841 813529
rajkpandey2000@yahoo.com
rajkpandey2000@hotmail.com
rajkpandey2000@gmail.com
Mobile: (977-01) 9851086884/9841813529, Raj K Pandey (Chhetri), Jawalakhel, Lalitpur (Page3/3)