Giant brains

1. No. 10 - Thomas Alva Edison
There isn't too much fun stuff out there that Thomas Edison hasn't had a hand in. In fact the movies, or
possibly even Hollywood, wouldn't exist without this man. Yes, that means that Star Wars would not be
in your life right now! Ah-ha! Those are books, you say? You just got a light bulb over your head, didn't
you? Yep. He invented that, too.
Ya learn something you already knew every day.
No. 9 - The Prodigy
Now you know we couldn't have a list of giant brains and not mention a prodigy. It was between "The
Prodigy" and "Prodigy" from X-Men—ultimately, we decided anyone who seriously titled something
"Smack My Bitch Up" deserved the win. Do you blame us? Other things that earned them the win were
having a previous guitarist named Sharky, an EP entitled Baby's Got a Temper, and producing a video
that was only allowed to be shown in the wee hours of the morning. Seriously ... do you blame us?
No. 8 - Doogie Howser, M.D.
DEC. 13, 1992 ... Today I'm reminded of all the rad things I've done: the perfect score on my SATs at
age 6 ... graduating from Princeton before most kids even know what puberty is ... becoming a doctor at
the unconscionable age of 14 ...
BLINKING CURSOR.
PENSIVE STARE.
SMILE—REALIZATION.

2. But I wouldn't change any of it. 'Cause I'm a freakin' kid. And I'm a freakin' doctor. And I'm freakin'
awesome. I'm like the OP (Original Prodigy). I deserve some mad props.
SAME PENSIVE STARE.
SMILE—SATISFACTION.
CREDITS.
No. 7 - Jessica Simpson
Don't be fooled by that hypnotically bleached blonde hair and Proactiv-induced porcelain skin; this chick
is a PR prodigy of the utmost success. Need we remind you of Newlyweds and its (shudder) success? I
rest my case.
Seriously, she is either really smart and playing dumb ... or really dumb and being dumb. For our
purposes, we'll assume the former, though it's the inability to ignore the latter that would make the
former so successful—am I right? Or am I right?
Which begs the question: is it fish, or is it chicken? She knows. Oh, she knows.
No. 6 - Plato
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
Better hedge our bets with this one: 'Nuff said.
No. 5 - Dr. Philip Henry "Hank" McCoy (AKA "Beast" from X-Men)
Let's all get serious: anyone played by Kelsey Grammer is gonna make this list. Except Frasier. And
Sideshow Bob. Come to think of it, why aren't they on this list? But I digress. Beast's creators (Stan Lee

3. and Jack Kirby)developed the character to have the interior contrast the exterior (sort of like the PT
Cruiser, with its awesomely modern interior screaming to be driven, but an exterior that wheezes out an
octogenarian's request to leave it by the curb for garbage day). Though X-Men has never been
considered a "comic" book by conventional standards, I suppose it was subtle humor like this that made
it stand apart from the others. Subtle like the "b" in "subtle."
No. 4 - Stephen Hawking
Although Stephen Hawking is probably known best in pop culture for his distinctive "voice," it is his
unrivaled success in science, and his unparalleled discoveries, that has earned him a spot on our list (the
greatest honor of all). Of all his works, perhaps his best known is A Brief History of Time—an attempt to
explain "simple" cosmology to the somewhat less-informed reader. OK, Stephen. You don't have to try
so hard ... you made our list.
No. 3 - Marie Curie
So now that you've finally gotten all the "submarine with a screen door" jokes out of your system, meet
our very own—drum roll please!—Polish prodigy. Seriously! If you're not interested in shattering all the
stereotypes you've grown to know and love, then you may want to discontinue use of product and skip
ahead to No. 2.
If you're still here, we definitely need to address the fact that Miss Curie is the only —yes, only!—person
to win a Nobel Prize in two separate scientific fields ... making winning ONLY one Nobel Prize a TOTAL
snooze-fest these days. Yawn!
She's more than just a pair of Nobel Prizes, though. Marie Curie developed knowledge on radioactivity
that hadn't existed yet; she isolated radium and discovered polonium ("Big Up" to her homeland!); she
had degrees in math, chemistry AND physics; and frankly, she brought it all home and fried it up in a
pan. It's safe to say Marie Curie was the original Wonder Woman.
So now we have a new answer to the age-old question "How many Polish people does it take to screw in
a light bulb?" Answer: Just one. As long as it's Marie Curie.
No. 2 - Albert Einstein

4. It has long been said that Einstein was not exactly the brightest kid when he was growing up; still, we
don't know many 12-year-olds that willingly delve into the world of Euclidean geometry and infinitesimal
calculus. Sometimes it's fun to wonder if or how his parents bragged about him to their friends at
cocktail parties. Of all his life's works, perhaps he is best remembered for his revolutionary "E=mc²"
equation—but does anyone actually know what it means? Nah, you'd have to be a prodigy to figure
THAT out.
No. 1 - Leonardo da Vinci
Maybe curiosity killed the cat, but for Leonardo da Vinci, curiosity didn't kill nothin'! It has often been
said that Leo's insatiable curiosity was matched only by his resulting inventions. He's also known as one
of the most widely diverse men in terms of talents, jumping from math and science to art and writing,
botany to music. He was also an enormous influence on our No. 2 prodigy, Albert Einstein.
There are very, VERY few people in the world who can reach success in one area of expertise (yes, sorry
Beyoncé, Peyton Manning and Shaq, you've had your days in the sun!), but our man da Vinci achieved
success of epic proportions in myriad arenas, blowing all of his list-mates completely out of the water
(yes, even The Prodigy!). Of course, the final deciding factor as to whether or not da Vinci was list-
worthy was having a confusing movie starring Tom Hanks constantly reference him and his works—
that's when you know you've made it.