This document contains journal entries from an American soldier deployed in Saudi Arabia and Kuwait during the Gulf War in 1990-1991. It describes their experiences with stress, fatigue, uncertainty about when the war would start, taking nerve agent pills, the beginning of the air war and ground invasion, seeing Iraqi prisoners of war, the end of the war being announced, and their growing anticipation of returning home to their family.

11. 30 Dec 90 – I got this from a young friend of mine, Electra. She sent me a picture. She thinks she’s ugly. She has no idea how she has touched my heart. So many people we don’t know send us their thoughts and prayers. That, and the warmth from each other, keeps us going. Most want war so we can go home. Home seems so far away.

14. 31 Dec – Looks like a full moon for New Year’s Eve. We had to take PFC Abouzaid’s weapon and ammo away… said he might hurt himself. Not much reason to celebrate. 1 Jan 91 – Quiet day. All day I wanted to sleep. I feel a heavy burden coming. I want to be ready. One sergeant said there are about 5 people in the unit afraid of dying.

15. 2 Jan 91 – Spent the entire day at the psych det w/two soldiers helping them deal w/stress. …One of my soldiers is under a line of sight suicide watch for 7 days. 3 Jan 91- 2 days to Pam’s birthday…I just want to lay down and sleep. We rucked this morning and the wind was cruel...I need a break soon. Maybe tomorrow 30,000 more caskets in country…add to 25,000.

16. 4 Jan 91 –…Fatigue is affecting my ability to concentrate…Too much work without a break. Tomorrow is Pam’s birthday. Package from Sue. 8 Jan 91 – 6 guys came back yesterday. I got to see pictures of Sgt Wolfe’s son. They are going on a mission that could get them killed.

18. 10 Jan 91. …The roads are full of convoys - all northbound. We saw a convoy of M1A1 tanks. I called Nichole for the first time. She sounded a little reserved. I miss her and feel so guilty. Fell asleep with the sound of trucks – going north 12 Jan 91. I went to … King Fahd Military City…When they saw CPT Zamora and me they just stopped and stared. There were about 30 of them. I told Cpt Z not to step on the prayer rug because she is a female infidel!

19. 14 Jan 91. …People are packing in earnest now in anticipation of moving. I noticed some subdued faces. One female in HHS was looking down so I asked her what was wrong. She responded, “I’m just waiting.” …the last ditch peace effort failed. Check that off the list of things to be done prior to war. Tomorrow’s deadline will be the last check.

22. 15 Jan 91 – deadline came and left. There is more of a sense of urgency again. Rumors fly about when/where we go… Rain abated. My clothes are on the line. 16 Jan 91 – At 2200 we had to take a nerve agent pretreatment tablet and put on our MOPP jacket and trousers. We have to sleep in our MOPP gear. We have to get up at 6 and take another tab. The war is beginning.

23. 17 Jan 91. SGT Burris woke me up around 0300 to listen to the radio. The war had begun. Everyone got up to hear…to check …on nerve tabs. We have to take one every 8 hours. Some troops don’t like taking them but they do… we’re briefed on OPLAN. I’m ready. MOPP IV

26. 18 Jan 91. Something woke me up at about 0430. Went to the latrine and heard the alarm…A scud had been fired at Dharhan about 10 minutes away. Our Patriot missile blew it away – unaided by humans. We’ve been in various stages of MOPP all day. I dread going to sleep tonight. We are taking bets on the time of the next launch…We just want to move. What a way to make a living.

28. 19 Jan 91 - …Drove all day and night…We use ponchos for concealment when we have to go to the latrine, or trailers or bushes or mounds. And we keep moving north. 20 Jan 91. We are here at our Assy Area 45 kms from Iraq. We’ve been traveling 24 hours. We got lost, lost parts of a convoy, A30 was sideswiped, A6 died and we still made it here to a piece of desert hard as rock and full of trash.

29. 22 Jan 91. I heard sorties fly over at 0100 and again tonight starting at 2100. Heard about the POWs Iraq has. I wonder if that will happen to me. I want Nichole to have a mom. No English radio.

30. 23 Jan 91. We are making fighting positions … We heard about border skirmishes and Iraqui POWs… I built a sump outside and we put up a clothesline and did laundry. Now McCray wants a rock garden! I got a nice sponge bath tonight. I feel so clean. McCray and I huddled around the radio for 30 minutes of news.

31. 1 Feb 91…I was worried about the reports of the missing male and female soldier on Tapline Road and the upcoming assault by the Iraqui’s near the area we drive through. I was apprehensive – 1st time – but also excited.

33. 2 Feb 91. Couldn’t sleep my first night back because of the wind and the helicopters. The LRSD got some new toys – Apaches – and they play with them every night in our backyard. They also have a cute puppy who pees on their fighting psns.

35. 3 Feb 91. Our first real sand storm. I dug my goggles out …Now it is quiet and the sky is filled with stars. Beautiful. 4 Feb 91. We got hot showers for the first time at the site. They were great…

36. 6 Feb 91. Spent most of the day doing paperwork…Sometimes I wonder if there is really a war out there. How will we know when it’s over? 8 Feb 91…Last night the bombers were flying over all night. We heard artillery and 50 cals all day long. Units near us were calling for close air support.

37. 10 Feb 91… Washed my teddy bear and tied her to the line. 13 Feb 91. I drove 7 hours thru pure hell. The MSR is too narrow and accidents abound. Tractors, trailers, POVs, etc are every- where in the ditch victims of the rush to get to the front. I was tense as heck but we got thru like champs.

38. 15 Feb 91. McCray and I heard the radio announcement that Iraq agreed to the unconditional pull out from Kuwait – with conditions. We didn’t believe it. No one here was celebrating. 21 Feb 91…Air raid sirens were going off as we drove through the airfield. They had their first scud today.

39. 23 Feb 91. Finally got home…Some MPs from Puerto Rico helped us. They’ve been in country 2 days. They said the ground war will start at 0400 tomorrow morning. CPT Graham confirmed. We rushed to get back … 24 Feb 91. G-day but you sure can’t tell it…Heard we lost 11 allied troops. LRSD sent out teams and some didn’t come back. Lost An Apache.

40. 25 Feb 91. The radio says we have over 20,000 Iraqi prisoners. Our CIF has over 1,000. I saw them and was struck by the fact that they didn’t look afraid or sad. They seemed relieved and at peace – curious about our female soldiers. I watched them land on Chinooks, get frisked, receive blankets and go into a holding area…

41. 26 Feb 91. There’s talk of peace in the air. There was a major sand storm yesterday, all night and again today. It’s peaceful now. There’s a bright moon. I found myself getting excited about peace 7 had to caution myself so I won’t be let down. The scud hit a barracks in Dhahran last night. I know they were complacent about scuds. I felt the same way. Had arty last night. Some thought it was incoming, but wasn’t.

42. 27 Feb 91. The war is over – we think – for us...We stopped taking the nerve tabs. 28 people died (2 females) in the scud. Everyone wants to know when we’re going home. I hope Nichole knows it’s over. 3 Mar 91. A day of firsts, went downtown w/Cdr and all the Saudi kids wanted a picture w/us. We bought perfume…I can feel somewhat feminine, all I need is nail polish.

43. 5 Mar 91…The radio says the first troops will be home Thurs & fly to Andrews AFB. They will be greeted by the Pres. Who will greet us? I’m so anxious to see Nichole. 5 Mar 91…The radio says the first troops will be home Thurs & fly to Andrews AFB… I’m so anxious to see Nichole.

46. 9 Mar 91. It’s my birthday...I was awakened at 0430 by SGT Burris loading up his vehicle beside our tent. We left the site at 0830 and got in here about midnight. 18 mar 91. Tomorrow we move to Khobar Towers, our last move before we board that freedom bird! The troops are so excited..

47. 20 Mar 91…2 more days.

48. 21 Mar 91. We are supposed to leave tomorrow but we still have no mission #.

49. 22 Mar 91. We are leaving!...I’m going home!