3. Their kitchen is slowly becoming less pink and their bedroom less farmhouse. I usually have lots more money at this point, and then I remembered. I don’t normally have 5 children in such a short amount of time!
12. No, Kingy didn’t sadly. Damn you Pauline. Was it too much to ask that Pauline’s bears all of Edmund’s children but they get NONE of her genes?
13. Roy on the other hand, came out a real cutie. Unfortunately I ignored him throughout toddler-hood and he became a snob. Look at his smile and cute little beatles haircut
14. Kingy: “Roy, I think with all my skills I could become a musical prodigy.”
15. Roy: “No Kingy. I’m being a musical prodigy. You have to do something else. You can go be an athlete or something.”
16. Roy: “Then again, you’d smell pretty bad all the time.” Kingfisher: “Oh no! I’ll smell as bad as Jude and Dion!”
17. Jude’s childhood friend grew up a little......less than, or more than expected. Kingy: “She’s nice, is she the girlfriend you were telling me about?” Jude: “No! Shutup!”
18. Jude: “Listen Erica, I know I said that I would like you to be my girlfriend, but that was before you turned up looking like a fatty-fatty-fat-fat. I don’t think I could stand to be seen with you.”
19. Erica: “So because a girl’s not build like a garden rake somehow you think I’m not good enough. Frankly I’m too good. I’m embarrassed to be seen with your prejudice ass.” Jude: “*Yawn* Bored go away now.”
20. Pauline: “Everyone, it’s my birthday! Come and gather and celebrate with me!” Zared: “I’m busy.....doing homework.”
25. Pauline, a red short skirt? Really? How about some modesty at your age? Pauline: “When you look this good, you don’t need modesty.”
26. Edmund: “Guess who got a promo– where is everyone?” At work or school, for the first time since your first child you are at home alone! Enjoy it while you can.
27. Edmund: “But I like it when my boys are home.....” How do you know that you wouldn’t like it when they’re not home? It’s never happened before. Edmund: “...is Jude home first?”
29. Dion: “It sure is Jude. He’s going to regret ever ruining my paintings . Yep, when Zared sees that painting he’s going to freak!”
30. Zared: “Hey guys, huh? What is that?” Dion: “I made a painting of you. Do you like it?” Zared: “I think I’m going to be sick.”
31. Dion: “Classic! Did you see him!?” Jude: “Yeah! He was like ‘OH MY GOD, THEY PAINTED ME I’M GOING TO GO CRY, I’M A PANSY.’!” Dion: “He sure was.”
32. Pauline: “Don’t worry Zared, I still love you.” Zared: “Mum, I’ll be straight. I don’t like you.” Pauline: “What, why!?” Zared: “One you cheated on Dad right in front of him, in front of me! And two, you gave me this face!”
33. I crossed back over to the kitchen and two kids I didn’t see come to the house starting fighting.
34. Santos Jnr. “He’s my boyfriend, Shanna!” Shanna! “No he’s not, Roy said he likes me!”
40. Hey, go back and talk to Santos Jnr. Roy: “Hmm?” The little funny girl-thing, go talk to her. Roy: “No, it’s not time for school.” Bioshock sucks in yet another player.
41. Kingfisher was also rarely at home. But instead of meeting ladies and getting into mischief I always found him just doing his homework.
42. Umm, why did I put you in charge of the painting again? Dion: “I welcome constructive criticism, but you’re just being mean..” Sorry.
44. It’s Myra Mae. She grew up very pretty. Time for Jude to lay on the smooth moves.
45. Jude: “Yo pretty thang, we should totally hook up.” Myra: “Why?” Jude: “Because we’re both utterly gorgeous. Think of our children.” Myra: “......what else?”
46. Jude: “Did I also mention I happen to be very rich?” Myra: “Oh yeah, then why is all your stuff on the lawn?” Jude: “Garage sale. Wait, rich people don’t have garage sales. Private auction. Are you on the guest list? I may need to check your invitation.” (That’s not her ear. Someone is on the treadmill behind the wall. It’s their elbow) : |
50. So Zared, excited about the infinite universe yet? Zared: “Huh? No I’m actually on the lookout, Jude said he’d train butterflies to spell out my name. The abomination! I can’t let that happen.”
51. Zared: “OUCH! Not a good idea to look into the sun when using a telescope. Kingy, you takeover for me.”
52. No sooner had Kingfisher taken over for Zared, he found something amazing. Kingy: “Meteor, oh my, meteor, Found a meteor, must go now.”
53. That big and it’s only worth $102! There are seven mouths to feed meteorite. Try to be a little more expensive next time.
54. Go promotion. Edmund, you look so sexy. Edmund: “Yes I know, it’s all part of the service of the military. With these swanky shades no one will recognise me infiltrating the enemy.
55. Jude: “Hah hah, you’ve got a little girlfriend, and she’s ugly.” Roy: “The girl from yesterday doesn’t like you because you’re poor.” Jude: “Beat it Ringo.”
56. Roy has grown on me. I spited him at first for being cuter than Kingfisher but he won me over. He wins everyone over.
57. FINALLY! The last birthday before the heir is chosen. First birthday in ages that everyone is present for.
58. ..but Jude is the only one who seems to be mocking them.
59. If there’s anything worse than a snob, it’s a cheap snob who can’t clean up after himself. But he’s so utterly adorable. He got the best parts of genes from Pauline and Edmund.
60. Kingfisher didn’t fare quite so well. He seemed to have hit his cuteness peak in toddlerhood which is never good. Sorry Kingfisher, blame your mother. He was the only one to receive all positive traits though.
61. Kingy: “Curse you beautiful brother.” Now that all 5 boys are teenagers it’s finally time for an heir vote. It’s quite exciting not knowing who I’ll continue playing with.
63. I also went to into CAS to see what Edmund’s and Pauline’s girls would have looked like. I have no idea where the lips came from, but they weren’t too bad, apart from the last one. Look at that bottom lip!
