Probably the best business plan I have ever written and fuck you Professor Richards.

1. Juiced Computers Putting Your Everyday Juice To Shame

2. Not Juicy Juice Mother Fuckers

3. So What The Fuck Is Juiced? Ask about it at work…ok don’t…fuck Geico and their 10 year old ad campaign. Can you hear me now? No fuck you Verizon no one wants your damn RIM job blackberries, long live the iphone….ifizzle bitches!

4. Juiced Products We sell dope ass computers that will fuck your current computer’s shit up! Your shit sucks get over it. Basically we are like Chuck Norris, our computers do not have a control button because we are always in control.

5. SWOT If you don’t know what SWOT is get the fuck out of here, you are worthless and thank your parents for pissing away 20 grand.

7. Opps left Eminem on…

9. Marketing Strategy This should be the only thing we should be presenting but that would require our professor to have half a brain. Our marketing strategy was developed over a fifth of vodka…shit I mean on the fifth on the month…shit that was when my credit card bill was due…aww fuck I can’t remember what it was…some other group said just SELL SHIT so I’ll go with that.

10. Messaging Our computers kick your computer’s ass. We look better in jeans, our collar is popped, our shit don’t stink and Apple pays US 99 cents when we download a song from itunes.

11. Marketing Mix How much do Juiced Computers cost? How much do you have? It ain’t black Friday anymore..our shit isn’t free. This isn’t craigslist cock sucker.

13. Budgets What budgets…we are gangstas…gangstas don’t have budgets. We just spend and don’t care what on….wait that’s AIG…uhh I mean GM ….no its Hummer owners…yeah its for sure Hummer owners. Cause you really needed off-road vehicles with 30 inch rims for driving on pavement.

14. Conclusion I hope you learned something here today because if you did you just double the number of things you learned all semester in this class. Congratulations, don’t you feel better you paid $400 for this class. Ya you probably didn’t realize you paid $400 for this horseshit but hey now you can tell everyone you know how to fill out excel worksheets. Guns are available on the way out to shoot yourself cause you just wasted one semester of your life.