This is a sampler of my new book, Dadvice, which shares 40 tips and techniques for essential everyday tasks faced by a Dad. http://bit.ly/DadviceUK

1. Dadvice
40 simple, proven things to teach your children,
from award-winning teacher, bestselling author
and exhausted father of four Stephen Lockyer

2. This edition published by ​Dadvice Family Books ​in 2015.
Copyright © Stephen Lockyer
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in
a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior
permission of the copyright holders.
Many thanks to all the brilliant role models who have shaped and influenced
me as a father. Although this book is dedicated to Henry, Dylan, Daisy and
Oscar, I’d also like to thank my own Mum and my children’s Mum for their
impact on my fathering. It’s a gift which they both gave me and is incredibly
precious.
I have tried where possible to indicate the provenance of any ideas, but if
you are able to help identify others for future editions, please do let me
know. All of the ideas and techniques are given here from experience rather
than as a professional, and constitute advice rather than a professional
opinion.
Thoughts/ ideas/ issues? Email ​mr.lockyer@gmail.com​​or find me on
Twitter as @mrlockyer .
ISBN: ​1514157225

3. Introduction
Before I had children, the best example of the
Dad I wanted to be came from my friend Mark,
who at that point had two children. One day in
their garden, a Hot Air Balloon passed them
slowly overhead. One of his children
absent-mindedly said, “I wonder where it’s
going,” and with that, they were off. Mark put
them in the car and they chased the hot air
balloon across East Sussex, catching up with it on
its descent, and speaking to its passengers. I
thought this was just brilliant and totally
inspiring.
Then I had four children of my own. Children, it
has to be said, are themselves brilliant and
inspiring. They are also exhausting, indifferent at
times, fickle, demanding and follow complex
rules which are constantly changing and are
often to be revealed rather than known
first-hand.
This book shares some of the tips and tricks I’ve
picked up, learned, stolen or developed over the
past ten years. They worked for me; they may
not work for you. This is certainly not an “I know

4. best” guide; more a sharing of experience
handbook which will hopefully prompt ideas of
your own to tackle the everyday situations
which you previously thought impossible to find
yourself in. I regularly fail as a father in all sorts
of ways, but I do try, and this collection gives
some examples of these efforts and failings
(which I’ve named ​Dadmonitions​). I’d love to
hear what things you do to solve some of the
problem situations posed in this book - please let
me know at @mrlockyer. I should also add that
I’m not a qualified financial advisor, Psychologist
or GP, although I’ve probably administered
around 10% of the world’s Calpol Reserves.
This is a quick reference guide for Dads, fathers,
keen uncles and grandparents. Females are also
welcome to read this book, but it may be
assumed to be Looterature. Don’t forget to wash
your hands.
Stephen Lockyer
May, 2015

5.
My father gave me the
greatest gift anyone could
give another person, he
believed in me.
- Jim Valvano

6. Poo on a potty
Lets get straight to the scatological - as a parent,
you accept that the first five years will invariably
be filled with actions and tales of wee, poo and
sick. The most difficult transition of all has to be
pooing on a potty. Children are by and large able
to make the jump from weeing in a nappy to on a
potty or toilet (ping-pong balls to aim for help
boys no end especially), but the real challenge is
a poo.
Think carefully about the physical change this
entails - a poo in a warm enclosed space of a
nappy, with the resistance the inside of a nappy
provides, is entirely different to a freefall poo,
which comes out and essentially disappears.
To create a halfway house, take a few sheets of
toilet tissue and press this against the child’s
bottom pre-poo. Create a form of resistance as
they poo. It’s a far more familiar feeling and
although messy, is a real encouragement.

7. Top tip
Build in a reward - marshmallows work well (one
for a wee, two for a poo). Always have some with
you, and NEVER run out.
Dadmonition
One child had accidents three terms into
starting school. Oops.

8. Complete homework
The bane of many parent’s lives, and suggested
by research to have no benefit whatsoever,
homework is a regular battleground for all
parties. We are all sickened by the child who
pulls out their work and gets on with it with no
fuss whatsoever. Damn them.
Homework is far more successfully led by carrot
than stick. Build a genuine reward for
completion in a reasonable time, ie ten minutes
spent on homework equals 20 minutes on
Minecraft. Work alongside your child, doing
‘work’ of your own. This exploits Spindle Theory
(you work better alongside someone else also
working), makes the time go faster, and avoids
any procrastination on either of your parts.
For writing tasks, write the time at the start of
each line written in pencil. This works as a
brilliant incentive for most children, who
respond to most competition against themselves
well.
Pack up the homework and file it away for school
as quickly as possible. Most children want a very

9. clear line between work and play (as do us
adults), so make this a very visible ceremony.
Top tip
If there are tears, stop, have a break, and try
again later; don’t persevere. The same goes if
your child starts crying too.
Dadmonition
One of mine does her homework every time, the
loon.

10. Visit a museum
Visits to stately homes and museums are
entirely different post children to pre children.
This is totally understandable - how much joy do
you get in walking along endless aisles in a DIY
store for example? These poor children.
The trick is to find a hook of some sort for each
room as soon as attention begins to wander. Ask
them to find something which you spotted on
entering, or count how many chairs there are, or
work out how tall the people were who originally
lived in this room, and how they know. Build
dialogue with them, and encourage them to ask
questions of the room guides (whose default
setting seems to be ‘wary’ when it comes to
children, perhaps understandably).
Many museums now provide children’s quizzes
for a small cost. If taking more than one child, it is
far more productive to get one and supplement
the prizes at the end, with you filling in the
answers.

11. Top Tip
The most fun I’ve had in a gallery was when we
went around clockwise, making up a story, with
the pictures providing the plot.
Dadmonition
We’ve set off the sensor alarms. Twice. One
child also has commented loudly on Picasso’s
obsession with boobs, just like his father (me
that is, not Picasso’s father. I don’t know if he
was a boob man or not).

12. Brush their teeth
Whichever idiot in Dentistry came up with the
‘three minute brushing’ rule clearly had no
children, for whom thirty seconds is a
looooooong time.
There are several strategies to employ to build in
teeth time. Brushing with them, with the aim of
trying to get the foamiest mouth possible works
best for me, but I have also tried timers,
counting, songs and bribes to varied success. For
some reason, teeth brushing strategies seem to
have not a huge amount of longevity, so if you
are winning, relish it!
Plaque tablets appear to be less popular now,
but given the right spin, these can be excellent at
highlighting plaque and poor brushing
techniques, while filling your mouth with a red
foamy mess. Excellent fun for amateur special
effects.

13. Top tip
Toothpaste has a definite flavour - if your
children say that the toothpaste is too ‘spicy,’ it
probably is, and their resistance to brushing will
increase. Change the paste.
Dadmonition
Three minutes? Seriously? I’ve achieved that
about three times.

14. Tie their laces
There are two techniques for this.
Learn either:
Take the two laces and tie a knot. Make a loop
with the left hand lace. Wrap the other lace
around this, then form a loop and place this
through a small gap you have left in the other,
hold on, no the other loop. Stop, you’ve just… no
, that’s the right OH JUST STOP AND I’LL DO
THEM.
or
Tie a knot. Make a loop with both laces. Tie a
knot.
Top tip
Laces keep coming undone? Wet the laces first,
and double knot.
Dadmonition
Velcro is a gift from the gods, and there is even
greater satisfaction getting a needle and pulling
detritus from velcro.

15. Well? What did you think?
The most important question about this book is
‘was it helpful for you?’ We at ​DFB ​want to reward
your efforts to feedback to us, so have developed
a reward system for when you order Dadvice.
Each of these efforts earns at least 10% off your
next order:
20% off - if you write a 3+ review on Amazon
10% off - if you write a blogpost review
10% off - if you reference this book in a public
talk
10% off - if you have a review in printed form
Just send us a screenshot or other to
mr.lockyer@gmail.com​and we’ll send your
voucher back. We’ll also send you an exclusive
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you!
If you can think of any other way to share this
book, please do let us know, and we’ll organise a
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What are you waiting for?
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