One of the six perfections of Mahayana Buddhism is called "Patience" which doesn't just mean gritting your teeth and waiting. It has a much wider context here. It's more about staying open and relaxed in the face of difficulties. This was a presentation given at FPMT UK Buddhist groups in 2013. It follows and Indian Master Shantideva and Tibetan Master Lama Tsong Khapa (lamrim). See more: www.joyous-effort.com/patience

1. How To Be Happy When
Things Go Wrong
the power of patience
Jamyang Leeds, June 2013

2. What is patience?
How to begin the cultivation of patience
Divisions of patience

3. The Six Perfections
Generosity vs. Miserliness
Ethics vs. Wanting to Harm
Patience vs. Hatred
Joyous Effort vs. Laziness
Concentration vs. Distraction
Wisdom vs. Ignorance

4. What is Patience?
Keeping a calm and open mind in the face of difficulties.

5. N T R LI A N
O ETA TI G

6. AC
C EPTI N
G
SU
FFER N
I G

7. I N T O TH
TEN N E
DAM
HRA

8. 1. Hatred/Hostility
2. Discouragement
3. Dislike/Disbelief
Patience is: not allowing these factors to arise.

9. 1. Not retaliating
2. Accepting suffering
3. Intent on the Dharma
1. Hatred &
Hostility
2. Hostility &
Discouragement
3. Dislike &
Disbelief

11. Nature:
exaggerates the
bad qualities of
an object

12. Function: the wish
to be separate
from the object

13. Aversion
Hate
Rage
A mental factor that…agitates the mind through being
unable to bear or through intending to harm the object.
Dissatisfaction
Frustration
Anger

14. Aversion
Attachment thwarted
Attachment
Ignorance

15. "Off the pitch I am nothing like the way I am on it.
The passion I have for football, it's very different,
I've always expressed it like that, that's the way I
play, but I also understand that I need to change.“
Striker Luis Suarez

16. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.7 Having found its fuel of mental unhappiness
In the doing of what I do not wish for
And in the hindering of what I wish for,
Hatred develops and then destroys me.

17. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.8 Therefore I should totally destroy
The fuel of this enemy;
This enemy has no other function
Than that of causing me harm.

18. Aversion
Patience
Hate
Rage
Love/Compassion

19. How to cultivate
patience
1) The benefits of patience
2) The drawbacks of anger

20. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.6cd Whoever works hard and overcomes anger
Is happy in this and future lives.

21. Greater peace of mind
Greater happiness
Contentment
Not apathetic, insensitive or spaced out.

22. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.133cd Why do I not see that there will be great glory,
Fame, and happiness in this very life?

23. Lamrim Chenmo
Volume 2 pg. 153: Bodhisattva Levels:
“Persons who have patience will not have many
enemies later on and they will not have many
separations from those to whom they are close. They
will have much happiness and contentment. They will
have no regret at the time of death…”

24. Lamrim Chenmo
Volume 2 pg. 153: Compendium of the perfections:
“Patience is the best approach for dealing with the
inclination to disregard others’ welfare…
The greatest strength for those who practice
asceticism...”

25. Healing Anger by HH Dalai Lama
“…patience becomes very important, because only
through patience is one able to overcome the obstacles to
compassion.”

26. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.134 While in cyclic existence patience causes
Beauty, freedom from sickness and fame.
Because of these I shall live for a very long time.

27. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.127 It delights the tathagatas
And perfectly accomplishes my own purposes as well.
It dispels the suffering of the world.
Therefore I should always practice it.

28. How to cultivate
patience
1) The benefits of patience
2) The drawbacks of anger

29. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.1 Whatever wholesome deeds,
Such as generosity and making offerings to the sugatas
Have been amassed over thousands of eons,
Will all be destroyed by anger.

30. The 10 Non-Virtuous Actions
Body: Killing, Stealing, Sexual Misconduct
Speech: Lying, Divisive Speech, Harsh Speech, Idle Speech
Mind: Covetousness, Ill Will, Wrong Views
BASIS, OBJECT, ATTITUDE (perception, affliction,
motivation) & COMPLETION

31. Harmful Intent (Malice, Ill Will)
1) Ripened result: rebirth in one of the three lower realms.
2) Results similar to the cause:
a) Experiences similar to the cause: you will be a person who easily becomes
frightened and panicky.
b) Actions similar to the cause: having the tendency to hurt others; your anger and
hatred increases.
3) Environmental results: having to live in a violent place where there is war and
contagious diseases.

32. Destroys fully ripened
result
Destroys results similar
to the cause

33. Delays positive results or
lessens a positive result.

34. Destroys from the root =
never gives a result, even
if it meets the conditions

35. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.3 My mind will not experience peace
If it holds painful thoughts of hatred.
I shall find no joy or happiness;
Unable to sleep, I shall feel unsettled.

36. Healing Anger HH Dalai Lama
“…when such intense anger and hatred arise, it makes
the best part of our brain, which is the ability to judge
between right and wrong and assess long-term and shortterm consequences, become totally inoperable.”

37. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.4 Even those who depend on a master
Who cares for them with wealth and services
Will overcome and kill
A master who gets angry.
6.5ab By it, friends and relatives are disheartened;
Though he gathers people with gifts, they will not
serve him.

38. Garland of Birth Stories
When your complexion is spoiled by the fire of anger,
You cannot look good, though adorned with jewellery.
You may sleep on a good bed, but
Your mind suffers the sharp pains of anger.

39. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.5cd In brief, no angry person is happy.

40. “You always hurt, the one you love.”
words by Allan Roberts and music by Doris Fisher
You always hurt the one you love
The one you shouldn't hurt at all
You always take the sweetest rose
And crush it till the petals fall

41. Khen Rinpoche Lobsang Jamphel
“It is not possible for anger to become happiness.”

42. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.2 There is no negativity like hatred,
And no fortitude like patience.
Therefore, earnestly cultivate
Patience in a variety of ways.

43. The Divisions of
Patience
1) The patience which doesn’t retaliate
2) The patience which accepts suffering
3) The patience which is intent on the Dharma

44. Developing the patience of disregarding
harm done to us by others
OBJECT
 Does the object have self control?
 Adventitious or inherent?
 Is the harm direct or indirect?
 What is the cause that impels harmdoers?
SUBJECT
 Contradictions

45. Lamrim Chenmo
Volume 2 pg. 160-161:
What would be reasonable grounds for anger towards
harmdoers?

46. “They first had the thought of wanting to harm me,
prepared the method, and then either prevented my
happiness or inflicted unpleasant physical or mental
suffering, so my anger is justified.”

47. Are you angry because …
(a) They inflicted harm while they had the self-control
not to harm you?
(b) They were utterly without any self-control and hurt
you while helplessly impelled by something else?

48. Causes + Conditions = affliction arises
Seeds = no affliction arises
Incomplete or no causes + conditions
Object
Unrealistic
thinking
Regardless of if they think “I will cause malice.”
AFFLICTION

49. Are you angry because …
(a) They inflicted harm while they had the self-control
not to harm you?
(b) They were utterly without any self-control and hurt
you while helplessly impelled by something else?

50. We are willing to help someone if we know they are sick.

51. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
109: Just as a doctor does not fight but helps
Patients who are possessed by spirits, though they get angry,
So the Sage sees that the afflictions are at fault
Not the persons who have the afflictions

52. Four Hundred Verses
6.34: If all beings could achieve results
According to their wish, then,
Since no one wants suffering,
No one would suffer.

53. Lack of self-control?
If we think, “Other-powered? It is not true. It was he who
got angry. It is nothing to do with whether or not he was
put up to it by the afflictions in his continuum. He
willingly got angry at me. That is how he wanted it.”
The reply is, “So, when he suffers, is it because he first
thought, “I need some suffering.”?”
Khensur Rinpoche Geshe Tegchok

54. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.35: If, when under the influence of the afflictions,
People will even kill their treasured selves,
How can they not cause harm
To the bodies of others?

55. Developing the patience of disregarding
harm done to us by others
OBJECT
 Does the object have self control?
 Adventitious or inherent?
 Is the harm direct or indirect?
 What is the cause that impels harmdoers?
SUBJECT
 Contradictions

56. Lamrim Chenmo
Volume 2 pg. 162:
The fault of doing harm to others either is or is not
in the nature of living beings.

57. “If it is in their nature, it is wrong to get angry…”

58. “If it is adventitious, it is also wrong to be
angry…”

59. “This is not the case, as it is the person who harms me, so
it is correct to be angry with this person.”

60. Developing the patience of disregarding
harm done to us by others
OBJECT
 Does the object have self control?
 Adventitious or inherent?
 Is the harm direct or indirect?
 What is the cause that impels harmdoers?
SUBJECT
 Contradictions

61. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.41: The stick and so forth directly cause the harm.
But if I am angry at the one who throws it,
Then, since hostility impels them,
It is better to get angry at hostility.

62.  We don’t get angry at the gun, but
what caused the gun to go off.
 Same logic applies to the person
and the affliction which caused the
person to “go off.”

63. Who to blame?
Pollution
Sky
Factories
Gun
Person
Affliction

64. Developing the patience of disregarding
harm done to us by others
OBJECT
 Does the object have self control?
 Adventitious or inherent?
 Is the harm direct or indirect?
 What is the cause that impels harmdoers?
SUBJECT
 Contradictions

65. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.42: I, at a former time, inflicted
Harm such as this on living beings.
Therefore, it is fitting that I, who hurt others,
Should receive this harm.

66. Lamrim Chenmo
Volume 2 pg. 164: Sha-bo-ba:
“When you say, ‘I am not at fault,’ it indicates that
you, in fact, have not internalised even a bit of the
teaching.”

67. Primary cause
my action
Secondary cause
the harmer/sentient being

68. Developing the patience of disregarding
harm done to us by others
OBJECT
 Does the object have self control?
 Adventitious or inherent?
 Is the harm direct or indirect?
 What is the cause that impels harmdoers?
SUBJECT
 Contradictions

69. Don’t want suffering?
Stop creating the causes!

70. The harmer is so kind
Helping you exhaust your bad karma!

71. What is patience?
How to begin the cultivation of patience
Divisions of patience

72. How to cultivate
patience
1) The benefits of patience
2) The drawbacks of anger

73. The Divisions of
Patience
1) The patience which doesn’t retaliate
2) The patience which accepts suffering
3) The patience which is intent on the Dharma

74. 1. Not retaliating
2. Accepting suffering
3. Intent on the Dharma
1. Hatred &
Hostility
2. Hostility &
Discouragement
3. Dislike &
Disbelief

75. Discouragement = giving up a spiritual life
Spiritual life = virtuous life
Virtuous life = happy life

76. Why must I accept suffering?

77. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.12ab: The causes of happiness sometimes occur,
Whereas the causes of suffering occur frequently.

78. This is samsara – suffering will
occur, it’s not surprising.

79. What would not accepting
suffering be like?

80. The way to develop
acceptance
1) Rejecting the idea that when suffering occurs it is
absolutely unpleasant
2) Showing that it is appropriate to accept suffering

82. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.10: Why be unhappy about something
If it can be remedied?
And what is the use of being unhappy about something
If it cannot be remedied?

83. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.9: Whatever befalls me,
I shall not disturb my mental joy.
Having been made unhappy, I shall not accomplish what
I wish for
And my virtues will decline.

84. Healing Anger HH Dalai Lama
“Mental joy refers to a state of calmness and stability…by
being unhappy and discontented, one will not be able to
accomplish what one wishes. So in a way being unhappy
is quite pointless.”

85. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.16: I shall not be impatient with
Heat, cold, wind, and rain,
Illness, bondage, beatings, and so on;
If I am, the harm increases.

86. Why must I
definitely
accept
suffering?

87. Why
Impatience will not
change the suffering

88. Why must I
Impatience will increase
the suffering

89. Why must I
definitely
Impatience will lead to
more unskilful actions

90. Why must I
definitely
accept
Unskilful actions will lead
to suffering in the future

91. Why must I
definitely
accept
suffering?
We will give up and stop
creating causes for
happiness

92. The way to develop
acceptance
1) Rejecting the idea that when suffering occurs it is
absolutely unpleasant
2) Showing that it is appropriate to accept suffering

93. Showing that it is
appropriate to accept
suffering
1) The good qualities of reflecting on suffering
2) The advantages of bearing suffering’s hardships
3) It is not difficult to bear with…

94. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.12cd: Without suffering there is no definite
emergence.
Therefore, mind, you should stay firm.

95. Definite Emergence
“If we think the house we are living in is a squalid,
claustrophobic hovel, we will not want to carry on living
in it and we will want to move elsewhere.”
Khensur Rinpoche Geshe Tegchok

96. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.12cd: Furthermore, suffering has good qualities:
Through being disheartened with it, arrogance is
dispelled,
Compassion arises for those in cyclic existence,
Negativities are shunned, and joy is found in virtue.

97. Lamrim Chenmo
Volume 2 pg. 174:
From these five and what they indicate, recognise other
good qualities on your own and then repeatedly train
your mind to think, “This suffering is a condition that I
want.”

98. Showing that it is
appropriate to accept
suffering
1) The good qualities of reflecting on suffering
2) The advantages of bearing suffering’s hardships
3) It is not difficult to bear with…

99. Lamrim Chenmo
Volume 2 pg. 175:
Think, “I know that in the past while passing through
cyclic existence I suffered for the sake of trifling desires
and minor needs, yet I disregarded the many sufferings…”

101. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.75: But now since great purpose will be established
From harm which is not as much,
I should solely be joyful
Towards such suffering that dispels the harms of all
beings

102. Hardship – for more suffering
Hardship – for an end to suffering

103. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.72: Is it not excellent if a man condemned to death
Is released after having his hand cut off?
Is it not excellent if I am spared from hell
By way of human suffering?

104. SHORT
TERM
LONG
TERM
SUFFERING

105. Showing that it is
appropriate to accept
suffering
1) The good qualities of reflecting on suffering
2) The advantages of bearing suffering’s hardships
3) It is not difficult to bear with suffering if you gradually grow
accustomed to it, starting with the small

106. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.14: There is nothing whatsoever
That does not become easier through habituation.
So by becoming used to small harms
You will bear great harms as well.

107. Problems like ice-cream
“…applying the idea of joy to these experiences.”

108. Array of Stalks Sutra
“Daughter, in order to destroy all afflictions, you should
develop a mind that is hard to defeat.”

109. Everyone in the world has
problems

110. I should take it on and stay calm
with the powerful mind of patience

111. Bodhisattva’s Deeds
6.17: Some, seeing their own blood,
Become especially brave and steady,
But some when they see the blood of others
Fall unconscious
6.18ab:These come from the minds fortitude
Or from its timidity.

112. The Divisions of
Patience
1) The patience which doesn’t retaliate
2) The patience which accepts suffering
3) The patience which is intent on the Dharma

113. Steps on the Path to Enlightenment
Geshe Lhundub Sopa
“Not liking a practice, not wanting to do a practice, or –
even if we do it – feeling uncomfortable and having
reservations about the practice, are all aspects of
impatience.”

114. Steps on the Path to Enlightenment
Geshe Lhundub Sopa
“In order for religious practitioners to be comfortable and
inspired to practice, they must understand the causes,
the nature and the results of each practice.”

115. Misdeeds the two selflessnesses
Reality of and there effects
Conviction
6) Meditation goal
3) The desired object
EnlightenmentBuddhas and Bodhisattvas
Powers of the
7) Meditationto be adopted
4) The object method
Six perfections good effects
Good causes and
8) Study to see the reality of the Dharma.”
“Using wisdom and practice
Khen Rinpoche Lobsang Jamphel
The twelve branches
of scripture

116. How To Be Happy When
Things Go Wrong
summary

118. KNOW and MEDITATE on
the reasons before we
encounter the real thing

119. No one wants to
suffer
For ourselves…
 Suffering should be understood
 The causes should be abandoned
 Cessation of the causes should be realised
The path to the cessation should be practiced

120. No one wants to
suffer
For others…
 All religions teach love and compassion as a foundation
 Hatred is the opposite
 Therefore patience becomes the most important topic

121. Steps on the Path to Enlightenment
Geshe Lhundub Sopa
Patience is… “accepting whatever happens because we
understand the nature of the situation and its causes.”

122. love is understanding

124. Music:
"Om Mani Padme Hum"
"Mahakala"
by K-liv
http://www.jamendo.com/en/list/a80270/himalayan-mantra
Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported
"Tibet"
"Kewl"
by Grumpy
http://www.jamendo.com/en/artist/365125/grumpy
Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported

125. For more info email
kerrynprest@gmail.com