This is a presentation to facilitate discussion of the Yes/No Trilogy of books by William Ury, presented by Dr. Matt Dodd at the ACU Conflict Resolution Residency Session.
1. The Yes/No Trilogy
Getting to Yes, Getting Past No,
The Power of a Positive No
Dr. Matt Dodd
2. Getting to Yes
Roger Fisher
William Ury
Bruce Patton (2nd ed. only)
3. The Problem
Bargaining over positions:
• produces unwise agreements
• is inefficient
• endangers relationship
• is even worse if many parties are involved
4. The Solution
Principled Negotiation - 4 Basic Points
1. People - separate the people from the problem
2. Interests - focus on interests, not positions
3. Options - generate a variety of possibilities
4. Criteria - insist solution is based on objective
standards
5. 1. Separate the People from the
Problem
• Negotiators are people first… treat them as such.
• 2 types of interests:
1. Substance
2. Relationship
6. 1. Separate the People from the
Problem • Relationships tend to become entangled with the
problem
• Deal directly with the people problem - 3 Categories:
1. Perception - perception is/becomes reality
2. Emotion - feelings may be more important than
talk
3. Communication - encoding, listening,
misunderstanding
7. 2. Focus on Interests, Not
Positions
• For a wise solution reconcile interests, not positions
• How do you identify interests? ask why and why not
• The purpose of negotiations is to serve your
interests
8. 3. Invent Options for Mutual Gain
Diagnosis: 4 Obstacles that inhibit options:
1. Premature Judgment
2. Searching for the Single Answer
3. The Assumption of a Fixed Pie
4. Thinking that “Solving the problem is THEIR
problem.”
9. 3. Invent Options for Mutual Gain
Prescription: to invent creative options you need to:
1. Separate inventing from deciding - Brainstorming
2. Broaden your options - specific <—> general
3. Look for mutual gain - win/win
4. Make their decision easy
10. 4. Insist on Using Objective
Criteria
1. Decide on standards that are independent of either
party’s will
2. Solution based on principle, not pressure
3. Focus on merits of the problem, not mettle of the
parties
4. Use fair standards AND fair procedures
11. What if they’re more powerful?
• Develop a BATNA (Best Alternative To a
Negotiated Agreement)
• 2 Objectives in the face of more power:
1. Protect Yourself - know your BATNA and trip
wire
2. Make the Most of Your Assets - satisfy your
interests, know your BATNA, estimate their
BATNA
12. What if they won’t play?
• Use Negotiation Jujitsu:
1. Don’t attack their position, look behind it
2. Don’t defend your ideas, invite criticism and
advice
3. Recast an attack on you as an attack on the
problem
4. Ask questions and pause
5. Consider the One-Text procedure
13. What if they use dirty tricks?
• Negotiate the Rules of the Game - 3 Steps:
1. Recognize the tactics
2. Raise the issue explicitly
3. Question the tactic’s legitimacy and desirability
15. Breakthrough Negotiation
• No difficult people, just difficult situations
• Joint Problem-Solving - soft on people, hard on
problems
• Revolves around interests, not positions
16. 5 Barriers to Cooperation
1. Your Reaction
2. Their Emotion
3. Their Position
4. Their Dissatisfaction
5. Their Power
17. 5 Points to Map Out an
1. Interests - inAtanggribelee mmoteivnattion; yours and theirs
2. Options - expand the pie, invent multiple options
3. Standards - use objective criteria/standards, not
will
4. Alternatives - don’t depend on agreement,
BATNA
5. Proposals - identify options that satisfy both
sides
18. 5 Step Strategy to Breakthrough
Negotiation
1. Don’t React: Go to the Balcony
2. Don’t Argue: Step to Their Side
3. Don’t Reject: Reframe
4. Don’t Push: Build Them a Golden Bridge
5. Don’t Escalate: Use Power to Educate
19. 1. Don’t React: Go to the Balcony
3 Natural Reactions to Difficult Situations:
1. Striking Back - attack/defense
2. Giving In - retreat/accommodation
3. Breaking Off - avoidance, can hurt relationship
Go to the Balcony by NOT reacting… act
Name the Game / Recognize Tactics
20. 2. Don’t Argue: Step to Their Side
3 Steps to Their Side:
1. Listen actively
2. Acknowledge their point
3. Agree wherever you can
Acknowledge the person
Express your views - without provoking
Create a favorable climate for negotiation
21. 3. Don’t Reject: Reframe
• To change the game, change the frame
• Ask problem-solving questions
• Reframe Tactics: Go around stone walls, Deflect attacks,
Expose tricks
• Negotiate about the rules of the game
• The Turning Point - from positional bargaining to
joint problem-solving
22. 4. Don’t Push: Build Them a Golden
Bridge
• Obstacles to agreement
• Involve the other side
• Satisfy unmet needs
• Help them save face
• Go slow to go fast
• Make it as easy as possible for them to say YES
23. 5. Don’t Escalate: Use Power to
Educate
• The only way for them to win is for both of you to
win
• Let them know the consequences
• Use your BATNA, defuse their reaction
• Keeping sharpening their choice
• Forge a lasting agreement
25. 3 Steps to a Positive No
1. Uncover your deeper Yes!
2. Deliver a respectful No.
3. Negotiate to a healthy Yes?
A “Positive NO” is
YES! NO. YES?
26. 1. Uncover your deeper Yes!
• Your deeper YES is a core interest, need, or value
• Avoid the 3-A Trap (Accommodate, Attack, Avoid)
• Go to the Balcony
• Listen to your Emotions
• Distinguish between Whether and How
• Express Your YES
• Stay True to Your YES
27. 2. Deliver a respectful No.
• Empower your NO with a Plan B (BATNA)
• Your Plan B is a Backup, not a fallback (compromise)
• Don’t reject, offer respect
• Saying No sets boundaries, offers protection, and defines identity
• Use neutral and matter-of-fact tone
• Repeat your NO patiently and persistently
• Let reality be teacher with natural consequences
28. 3. Negotiate to a healthy Yes?
• A Healthy YES is a positive outcome or relationship
• Respect the other for YOUR sake
• Follow your NO with a Positive Proposal
• Facilitate a Wise Agreement
• Build them a Golden Bridge with 3 “Yeses”:
1. Facilitate a Wise Agreement
2. Help the Other Win Approval
3. Cultivate a Healthy Relationship