Lorman seminar etiquette 2 18

Business Etiquette
Tips and Rules you need to follow

Welcome Overview
 Handshakes
 What is your handshake saying?
 Origins
 Why do people shake hands?
 How do you start to engage a handshake?
 1/6th eyebrow flash
 Angles for comfort
 Proper procedure in American Business Etiquette

Small Talk or Perish
30 day rule
Example and reflection
Creating Small talk at meals

Technology Etiquette
 Tech has taken over
 Things to remember when doing business
 Put the phone down
 Email Etiquette
 Sign it Correctly
 IM Etiquette

Using Etiquette in 21st Century
Networking
 Farming for 50 new relationships a year is enough
 It’s not what you know, it’s who you know
 Netweaving vs Networking
 Watch your attitude
 Treat your business cards like gold
 Watch your time
 Don’t talk politics

Who am I?
 Michael H Kaleikini is a Business Consultant and American Business Etiquette
Trainer
 Owner of Victory Media LV / FE2 Performance
 Certified Business Etiquette Trainer since 2006
 10 years in business development
 Started in marketing and promotions in Music Industry
 Published Musician / Composer
 Soon to be Published author “Savoir Faire – Business Mindset for Millennial
Entrepreneurs”
 Single Father of a 15 year old son

The Unlikely Gentleman
 I’m not a major celebrity
 I don’t dress in a suit daily
 I’m not some wildly over the top stickler for Rules and regulations
 I AM someone that cares about people
 I DO love seeing people succeed
 I WILL give information that can help you as a professional or business owner
increase your chances to advance in your career or business
 I am the Unlikely Gentleman

What are the “Bennies” to attending
today?
Business professionals today are having trouble understanding why rapport is
getting harder to build. First impressions are lacking and basic business skills
are needed again in the workplace and professional arena.
Attending this webinar will give you the beginning building blocks to succeed
at creating a good first impression and simple strategies, using philosophies
and guidelines taught in American Business Etiquette. From how to give a
proper business handshake to using Etiquette to create a better network of
referrals for business, this quick course is sure to give you relevant
suggestions to increase your viability in your job and marketplace.

A Bit of History on American Business
Etiquette
 It is the result of many fascinating factors
 Philosophy
 Human Behavior
 Global trends
 Cultural Styles
 War
 Disease
 Legal and Religious practices
 Military Protocol
 Food & Dining
 Academic & Governmental Protocols

A Bit of History on American Business
Etiquette
 It is the result of many fascinating factors
And of course Technology and Communication

Research Tells Us
 From the Public Agenda Study of 2001
 America is Etiquette Challenged – Still is
 Stanford College of Business Studies 2017
 Boards and Directorships are still Etiquette Challenged
 Not honest enough with each other
 Not truly accountable to their employees and or customers
This poses a threat to public opinion of how companies and executives are operating
in business today. Many have lost confidence of the general public and even have the
public hoping for legal consequences for certain personal “immoral” actions.

Points to Ponder
 Business Etiquette is NOT a set of rules and regulations
 We do not use the words “do” or “Do not”
 We do use the words “try to” and “Try to avoid”
 It is not necessarily a vocabulary list of the right words to say or not to say
 Everyone is different in their business style

We are a Multi-Cultural Society
 150 different cultures and ethnicities that work in our diverse structures of
commerce
 Our Nation is still very young in relation to the rest of the world.
 Baby Boomers are only a couple generations removed from their families who were
rural farmers.
 We’re still learning how to interact with each other to create positive results

Definition and Description of “Ethics”
 The Philosophical study of moral values and rules.
 Enron’s Fall
 Can you really teach anyone over 21 Ethics?
 Are you as leaders really being accountable and ethical?
 While Ethics may be a fascinating Philosophical study that inspires debate through
its many shades of gray, Etiquette is the action that fuels ethics because it involves
the study and active application of moral values and behaviors.

Question for you
What Etiquette Skills does a successful business
leader/professional need to know and practice?

Skills Needed to be an effective
Leader/Professional
 Effective communication
 Good listeners
 Rapport builders
 Generally positive
 Stay cool under pressure
 Impeccable table manners / networking manners
 Comfortable in business or social settings
 Responsive to communication (phone calls to emails)
 Able to keep confidential information

Skills Needed to be an effective
Leader/Professional
 Capable of communicating their vision to their teams
 Well organized
 Under promise and over deliver
 Patient and Loyal
 Kind and think of others
 Positive and pleasant to be around
 Well groomed
 Fairly private about their personal life (not talking of self a lot)
 Give credit where it is due
 Know how to demonstrate gratitude
 Trustworthy and repsected

What is Your Handshake Saying?
 Origin of the handshake
 Why do people shake hands?
 1/6th eyebrow flash (case study)
 How do you engage with a handshake
 Gender Specific – Facing versus angled
 Proper procedure of the handshake in American Business Etiquertte

Where Did the Handshake Start?
 According to history books,
 Earliest recorded in Monument of Kalhu (Northern Iraq)
 Assyrian King Shalmaneser III and Marduk-zakir-sumi I of Babylon
 It is shown is Greek relief on stone.
 It is believed that the handshake developed a gesture of peace because it demonstrated
that the hand holds no weapon. Furthermore, gripping another person’s hand leaves
both individuals momentarily vulnerable, thereby further solidifying the sense of trust
between them (some forms of bowing have similar origins — in the process, your hands
are shown to be free of weapons while your posture leave you vulnerable). A handshake
also symbolizes balance and equality, as both parties interact in a similar way (again, a
parallel can be seen with some forms of bowing). - https://romneymanassa.wordpress.com/2014/05/19/the-
first-handshake/

Why Do People Shake Hands?
 To greet one another
 To show affection
 To say good bye
 To congratulate someone on something they’ve accomplished or done
Remember: The handshake is generally your first opportunity to create a human
connection. Take your time. Go slowly. Be aware of the entire process, and you will
have an increased chance that others will remember you.
Too tight, too fishy or weak, or even cold or sweaty. No Good.

The Ideal Handshake
It is Warm and Unmemorable
You want people to remember YOU
NOT your Handshake

Dr. Desmond Morris
 World Famous Zoologist
 Study on Primates
 The Eyebrow Flash is Innate and used instinctually
 Fast (about 1/6th of a second)
 Raising and lowering of the eyebrow
 Signifies Trust
 Windows are the eyes to the ______________

How Do You Engage with a Handshake?
 Practice with your friends and family
 Women shaking hands with a man stand at 30 to 120 degree angle
 Women shaking hands with each other should face squarely
 Reversed.
 Men square with women to make them comfortable
 Angle when shaking hands with another man
 Sometimes a light theatrical bow while shaking hands is acceptable
 Stand when you shake hands unless you are a person of a certain age or are unable
because of illness or disability

 Before reaching out offer a 1/6th-of-a-second eyebrow flash before extending your
hand to initiate a handshake or to respond to someone else’s initiated handshake
 While maintaining eye contact, move your right hand slowly into the web of the
other person’s hand (between thumb and index finger) then very slowly wrap your
fingers around the other person’s right hand and flatten your palm against his or
her palm.
 Go slowly. Consider this handshake sensual, not sexual.
 Both will pump your hands up and down three or four times, very slowly. A slow
handshake is considered sincere.
 Take the time to make this human connection!

Bad Handshakes…Avoid These!
As provided by BusinessGovAu https://youtu.be/exUlCjqQsDA

Bad Handshakes…Avoid These!
The Phantom!
As provided by BusinessGovAu https://youtu.be/exUlCjqQsDA

Points to remember…
 Use their first name and introduce yourself with your first and last name.
 Slow the introduction if your name is hard to pronounce. Give them the chance to
learn your name.
 First names are used unless someone has a title of honor. (ie, Doctor, Professor,
Mayor, Governor, etc)
 If they are of advanced age, Mr. or Mrs. Along with their name. If they wish you to
use their first name, they will invite you to do so.
 Some companies discourage the use of first names. Use Mr. or Mrs. In that case. If
you are in doubt whether or not a woman is married, use Ms. If you are sure she is,
use Mrs.

Vertical Handshake
Keep your handshake vertical.
Don’t turn your wrist so the back
of your hand is on top. This is
considered aggressive and
insincere.
At the same don’t twist here
your hand faces up as on the left
in the picture. This is considered
submissive and also breeds
distrust with the other person.
They may think you are not
strong enough to do business
with.

Points to Keep It Clean
 Do your best to keep your hand dry
 Carry a napkin in your right pocket if needed
 Sometimes nutrition can solve the sweaty palm issue
 Avoid using your left hand during a business handshake
 Avoid the “Politician’s Handshake” or the “Preacher’s Handshake”
 Placing your left hand on top of a handshake
 Cupping the elbow
 These are considered insincere

Question:
How is it possible to give your work associates
and clients enough information about yourself
so that they can determine your character
without revealing personal facts about your
private life?

Job place is not the place for sharing
personal stories
Create professional boundaries
True leaders keep it professional

Dave – Manager
Sales Manager
Liked by Sales team
Liked by customers

Unfortunately…
 Long negative stories
 Looked for sympathy
 After a year of the same droning things changed.
 Lost 4 top sales people to competing stores in the SAME Shopping mall
 People started to avoid him
 Sales suffered
 Lower Morale
 Less focus on business
 Less appearance by top loyal customers

Trying to fix made it worse
Still telling stories about his past (childhood, past
job)
Lost two more salespeople
Sales still dropped

What happened?
Damage was done
Inappropriate stories for the workplace
Not pertinent to business at hand
Opinion forming (can you really do your job?

The 30 Day Rule
You can master the 30 Day Rule by giving
people unemotional information related to
events or situations about yourself during a 30-
day span on either side of the day. In other
words, talk about vents or situations that
happened 30-days before or will happen 30
days after today.

Character Traits
Virtual Etiquette Lab
Trustworthy Dependable Honest Faithful
Accountable Reliable Healthy Smart
Likeable Unsophisticated Complex Happy
Self-Centered Self-Destructive Insecure Egotistical
Negative Ambitious Thoughtful
Compassionate Creative Sentimental
Dedicated

Comment made to co-workers
“My Husband and I are taking a bike ride this
Saturday up to Red Rock Canyon.”
What does this statement say about this
woman?
How would you describe her character?

Here’s what that revealed…
 Married
 She bikes with her husband up a canyon
 They enjoy each other’s company
 Healthy Happy Person
While the listener may not have been conscious of those observations, her
comment conveyed those images.

Small Talk - Example 2
“I’m starting a series of classes tonight at the local hardware
store to learn to remodel my kitchen.”
What’s heard:
“He’s curious and likes to stay busy. He likes to learn new things.
He probably owns his own home and likes taking care of it. He’s
a creative and responsible person.”

Small Talk – Example 3
“I’m volunteering for a local charity on Tuesday nights this
month.”
What was heard:
“She’s generous with her time, and she cares about her
community. She organizes her priorities and time well enough to
volunteer at night during the week. She’s a thoughtful,
compassionate, dedicated, caring person.”

Small Talk at meals
 Use the 30 Day rule at Breakfast
 Small talk until all have ordered and received Coffee, Tea, water or juice before talking
business
 At Lunch
 Use 30 day rule until all orders have been placed and menus have been removed
 At Dinner
 Use 30 day rule for first 30 minutes after being seated before discussing business
matters.

Small Talk at work-related events
 Use 30 day rule as a means of asking open ended questions
 Are you taking any time off during the holidays?
 What are your plans for the weekend?
 Try to avoid using Deep probing questions like:
 Where did you grow up?
 How long have you been married?
People have a right to privacy. If someone feels the needs to reveal that kind of
information, let them volunteer it at their leisure.

Small Talk at work-related events
 Before Business meetings or during breaks, feel free to create a few minutes of
small talk.
 When people ask you a personal question, reply with an answer that is related to
the 30 day rule, and offer them information about an event or situation.
 Example: “How’s your husband Mike?”
 Your response: “Mikes taking a class to remodel the kitchen.”
 It is possible to make small talk on phone with a stranger to reveal your character
by using the 30 day rule.

Small Talk on Phone
 Use the 30 Day rule when creating small talk with a stranger on phone
 Can help create easy rapport
 Example:
 “So, you’re in Dallas? Are the Cowboys playing this weekend?”
 “How was your trip last weekend?”
 “Are you playing golf this weekend?”

Techno Etiquette
 Technological Standards
 Legal & Ethical Responsibility
 True credibility comes from techno-etiquette skills that either match or are above
and beyond personal etiquette skills.
 You will be judged
 Face to face
 Techno etiquette
 You may be good in person, yet, your techno etiquette sucks

Techno Etiquette
 Used properly can bring people together to create high levels of trust and
understanding.
 Improper use can separate and isolate – breed misunderstandings and conflict
 The challenge of tech in business today – personal versus virtual
 In the 90s tech became a replacement and created a low touch culture
 Early 2000s that changed a bit
 Today, technology is better used and yet still has the challenge of creating high
touch business
 Rules and guidelines for techno etiquette to create higher levels of consistent
communication

Techno Etiquette
 Technology offers amazing contributions to individuals and
companies. Why would technology NOT be a totally adequate
substitution for all human interactions?

Techno Etiquette
 Answer:
Technology speeds up the appearance of communication
because it looks and feels instantaneous. However, there is no
body analog offered. For example, content without context leads
to confusion.

Techno Etiquette Lab
 Email received:
 Let’s talk Friday at 2pm
 What does this mean to you?
 Are they upset? Happy? Frustrated?
 Are they going to fire you?
 Placing, cancelling or increasing an order?
 No contextual framework leads to anxiety

Techno Etiquette Lab
 Voice Mail Message received:
 “Let’s talk Friday at 2pm.”
 Tonality
 Pace
 Volume
 5 times the amount of info of an email.

Most common Techno Etiquette Faux Pas
 Cell Phones ringing at inappropriate times. (Yes this still happens)
 Loud, one sided cell phone conversations in public
 Giving confidential Information about a company business over cellphones, IM,
Text messages and emails
 Audible Ring tones (Songs, sounds etc)
 Checking reading and sending IMs and emails on laptops or smartphones during
business meetings.
 Sending emails using the “cc” instead of the “Bcc” feature, thereby exposing all
those on the list.

Most common Techno Etiquette Faux Pas
 Overuse of “reply all” feature in emails instead of selecting a specific targeted list to
receive the email
 Using emotional or threatening language in IMs or emails. (ie, “If I don’t receive this
report in the next hour, your job is on the line.”
 Overuse of emojis in IMs or emails
 Using acronyms or shorthand with those that are unfamiliar with the terminology
you use. (ie LVM for left voice mail, or LMBO etc)

Email Etiquette
 Best to use to send cold data, charts, directions, and follow up info
 Avoid being personal or emotional in emails since tonal and non verbal cues are
not available, and intent can be easily misconstrued and lead to confusion.
 Email is not a substitute for creating and maintaining a business relationship.
However, email is simply one of many resources to help support a business
relationship
 Be brief. Don’t be verbose and remember your emails may be monitored
 Begin and end emails as a letter. Salutation in the beginning and signature at the
end.

Email Etiquette
 Use block signature – Name, company name, title in the company, location /
address, website, email, phone.
 Emails can be considered legal documents. If needed, use disclaimers in your
signature line
 Write in FULL sentences. Use proper capitalization and grammar. Avoid slang,
acronyms, shorthand, and rambling.
 CHECK YOUR SPELLING
 IF you use a lot of acronyms, teach your reader early in your email what they mean.
American Medical Association (AMA)
 Humor in the workplace does break stress, but limit the number of jokes you send
and make sure it may not be considered vulgar or target groups(e.g., Ethnicity,
gender, religion, politics, age, etc)

Email Etiquette
 Do not use ALL CAPS when writing emails. It’s considered YELLING! So don’t
 Use the subject line to sum up the email (ie, This Friday, 10am, Conference Room C)
 Use hyperlinks when possible to take recipient to exact page being referenced
 Use the BCC in order to protect email addresses of everyone on the list unless it is
understood that everyone knows each other.
 Specific replies – highlight and answer in a reply direct to that person or groups of
people.
 Ask permission before sending attachments. (either get pre-approval in person or
email asking first or it may get spammed)

Email Etiquette
 Do not ask recipient to send a “read” receipt unless you have both agreed to do so.
 Chain letters are a NO GO situation
 Keep personal out of it

IM Etiquette
 At work, make sure it only has work related connections.
 Appropriate screen names
 Ask if it’s a good time. Don’t just start blabbing
 Have a purpose
 IMs are NOT considered confidential and are usually monitored
 Same as emails
 Don’t forget to say “goodbye”
 So many forget this and never can tell if the conversation is actually done. Don’t leave
them hanging.

Cell Phone Etiquette
 Put it on vibrate
 Company calls only
 Don’t wait to be asked to turn it down
 Have to take a call? Take it outside
 Don’t play with your cellphone when in meetings
 Unless you have a hands free device, don’t use your phone while driving
 Check your volume when you talk
 Personal phone – keep it brief
 Cameras are everywhere – be aware of what your companies policies are

Cell Phone Etiquette
 Call waiting? – Let me clear the line, I’ll be right back
 Consider NOT talking on your cell phone when you are in a dining situation, driving
your car, in elevators, riding on public transportation or in public toilets. (Stall
conversation)
 Your cell is NOT private, nor is any conversation you have on it. Be careful what you
share about your company’s business
 Wearing an ear piece in your ear when you are not engaged in a conversation may
not be considered rude, but it does look very silly and self important. (I’m too busy
to be bothered)
 Tell them up front if an important call is coming and then take it outside

Voice Mail Etiquette
 Leave your return phone number up front
 Be brief (don’t leave a story)
 When leaving a message, be very clear about when you will be available to receive
the call to avoid phone tag
 Consider regularly updating your outgoing message on your voice mail so people
know you’re active

21st Century Networking
 What it’s NOT about
 Collecting 1000 business cards for your to “farm” leads
 Vomiting your business cards on everyone you haven’t even met in order to “Spray and
pray” for business
 Being loud or boisterous about your business in order to get attention
 Cutting people off to explain your business and how it can benefit their business or life.
(truly no one cares…yet)
 Introducing yourself out of turn in order to “maximize” your networking efforts.
 Being the most visible in the room so you get more connections

 What it CAN be
 A chance to create a solid database of referral business
 A chance to network for a new position with a company that you want
to work for or with
 A means to increase your business connections for either revenue or
services needed
 Create a database small enough that you can stay in touch with them
all year and keep getting referrals and be giving them as well

 How can you blow it?
 Shyness – Find a networking group you like, serve on a committee and get to know
people at your pace.
 Keep the negativity out – No matter how bad a day, you’re there to make friends not
commiserates
 Don’t forget your business cards!!! (use a card carrier and take as many as you think you
may actually need)
 You’re not there to sell your stuff
 Remember people’s names ( suggestions for tricks to remember)
 Don’t monopolize other’s time
 Don’t let other’s waste your time (you’re there to make connections for business)

 Asking for private info is a “NO GO” unless it is volunteered
 Listen 80% talk 20%
 Talk about things in the present (30 day rule)
 Don’t talk to only those you know (you’re there to create NEW relationships)
 Always dress a level above what you think you ought to
 Don’t pile it on (appetizers, not dinner)
 Turn of the phone
 Left handed for drinks (handshakes possible)
 Name tag on right shoulder

 Avoid starting a conversation in the drink line (line is a bit short for this)
 Avoid ill suited networking groups (do your research)
 Avoid Burnout (It does happen)
 Show respect to the person working the reception desk
 Study the name tags on the table (if possible) Paper clip your business card to it with a
note, “Looking forward to meeting you tonight”
 Create a very specific reason to ask for a business card
 Leave your purse or briefcase in your car

21st Century Networking –
Elevator Pitch
 Have a pitch that you can deliver in LESS than 20 seconds
 You need essentially 3 pitches
 10-second
 15 second
 20 second
 Each will give a bit more information
 Select according to the timing you have available to introduce yourself

Elevator Pitch
 Framework
State your name
Who you work for
Describe your ideal networking candidate
How you do it

Elevator Pitch
 And what do you do?
 Initially people don’t want a ton of info
 If they are more interested, they will ask more questions
 Immediately jump back to them once you are done

Where the Rubber Meets the Road
 Not everyone will match you – That’s okay
 Be prepared to be refused
 Be prepared to refuse
 Take your time to build the relationships – Don’t rush it
 Don’t push through formalities ( used car salesman)
 Take time to discover how people like to receive information

Where the Rubber Meets the Road
 Suggestions to help begin new relationships
 Always send the “nice to meet you” email asap
 If you promised an article or information, Get it out to them NOW
 Ask your contact how they like to be contacted (email, IM, phone etc)
 If they don’t get back in “your time,” be patient. Not everyone has the same time frame
 If they attend the group where you met them, go back and continue building that
relationship
 Use a Customer Relationship Management Platform

Using Business Etiquette
 Creates greater and longer lasting relationships
 Greater potential to gain referrals
 Easier to create credibility as a leader in your company or business
 Easier to create rapport and KEEP it
 You will Command respect when you enter a room (vs demand)
 People will gravitate to you rather than be repelled
 You will become the authority in your vertical and people won’t know how that
became true, but they will like it
 You ultimately get the deal done

Creating Great First Impressions That Last
Q & A
Questions and Answers

Thank You!
Michael H Kaleikini
702-518-7501
businessetiquetteus@gmail.com
@coffeewithmike
www.savoirfairebook.com
Inquiries for trainings can be directed to:
businessetiquetteus@gmail.com

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