1. ISSUE ONE, JUNE 2023 DIGITAL
SIX PIECES ABOUT TRANS PEOPLE AND QUEER SEX

3. “To Love” by Mel Jayne (she/her)

4. Faith, The Great Mother, the
caretaker of movements, the
heiress of divine femininity,
reminds me of every comfort I’ve
ever felt in my life. She speaks
softly, even in her rage, and there
is so much for her to be enraged
about.
For Black trans women, every
time they walk outside, there
is an innate understanding that
it could be the day they die. In
January, Jasmine “Star” Mack was
murdered in DC. In February,
Zachee Imanitwitaho was murdered in Kentucky. In March, Cashay
Henderson was the third black trans woman killed in Milwaukee
in the past year, that we know of. In April, Tasiyah Woodland was
murdered in Maryland. Faith understands that every time she walks
outside, it could be her last day. Before our interview, Faith was
attacked twice in the past two weeks, once for correcting someone
using the wrong pronouns, the other for asking a creep not to touch
her.
“I can’t go outside and it not be a fucking problem.” She says, “ I
have zero expectation that I’m going to make it home. I think I’m
gonna die everyday. I have to do a dance in my brain to accept that’s
my reality.”
This is why they kill us,
because no one is
watching Mav (they/them)

5. Of all the shit though, what weighs on her is the cowardice and
inaction of the people around her. Faith has run into rooms, while
being chased with a weapon and accosted with vile words, and
watched as bystanders froze. She tells me that they later apologized
for their cowardice, but their stillness, their inaction, that’s what
gets black trans women killed. “This is why they kill us because no
one is watching,” Faith explains. Instead of acting to protect Faith
from the violence she was experiencing, folks waited to apologize
afterwards.
Words are inadequate. This is giving flowers after people are dead.
Faith walks into the world wondering, “Am I gonna die? Is this how it
ends?” She watches people who were loudly protesting in 2020 sit
back down and get comfortable as trans genocide is on the docket.
“They were real busy in 2020, real silent in 2023.” When asked
what she wanted to say to community members, she called the
community in.
“Shut the fuck up. So many lovely educated, Black, Brown,
Indigenous people have designed frameworks to tell you what to do.
So shut the fuck up. Go read something. Your fucking best ideas got
us here.”
“We’ve been telling y’all what’s coming.”
For years, black trans women have been advocating for the
LGBTQIA+ community. Marsha P Johnson, advocated for the queer,
the gay, the trannies, the poor. They have always warned us, they
wouldn’t stop with black trans women.
Faith’s critique is white community members come arguing they
have groundbreaking ideas and have found new ways to make
movements, while ignoring the historical frameworks, ideologies
and theories cultivated by QTBIPOC folks. Instead of coming in
humbly, to read and learn, white people take up space demanding

6. a new way, without trying the ways BIPOC folks have been fighting
white supremacy, colonization, and transphobia. When she said
“your fucking best ideas got us here” I cackled. It was such a
succinct and accurate critique of how white movement making,
white methods, white ideologies have guided us to the trans
genocide happening right now.
In 2007, Faith moved into her ideology as an anarchist. She wrote
her first manifesto calling for direct action, militancy, and solidarity
to protect herself and her trans family everywhere.
The manifesto powerfully reminds us:
“We are the strongest women
in this world, and yet, we are
among the most underserved,
misunderstood, and forgotten.
To realize equality we must
recalibrate the equilibrium of
justice and liberation to include
transgender people and our
needs...Sometimes the picket
line doesn’t work and marching
doesn’t either. Sometimes
showing people that you are
willing to do anything for your
rights is what persuades them
to back off and give you what
you are entitled to.”
Faith kept writing in the name of trans liberation and released a zine
in 2008: The Ashes of Dahlia. In the intro she introduces herself:
“Society tried to burn me down and blow away the essence of my
soul. I have collected the remnants; shifting through the ashes of

7. my ruin, and built for myself a mighty foundation.” The woman I
speak to in 2023 has used that mighty foundation to fight for the
protection, pleasure, and glory of trans women everywhere.
The Great Mother has built her entire life on direct action -- pushed
on systems that were fucked up and unequal and did so even when
she was in prison. She spent an inhumane amount of time in solitary
being punished for seeking hrt, support groups, bras, gender
affirming surgery, and protection for her fellow trans sisters. Faith
wielded knives, fists, words, rage, to protect herself and fellow
sisters from sexual violence, systematic torture, and the general
violence of the prison system.
Miss Major sent Faith a letter in April of 2008, acknowledging
the importance of Faith’s role in advocating for LGBTQ youth. The
organization, TGIJP, Transgender, Gender Variant, and Intersex
Justice Project, would use the information Faith gave them from her
experience from prison, to help push legislation and advocate for
trans rights. As her manifesto was written and Faith moved to direct
action and militancy, a tension arose between her and a mentor.
When was it time to stop looking for justice for the ones being
unjust?
Faith argues it’s time to move beyond legislation and this idea is
not new to her. “The laws won’t protect us, why are we negotiating
for our humanity? Time to pick up the gun. If they say some bullshit
about trans kids, people should put on masks and throw them out
a window. People should be burning things down, they’ve been
assassinating us for years.” For Faith, while she says she would
die for this, for this cause, for trans liberation, for black women’s
liberation, for femme liberation, it’s obvious society doesn’t give
black trans women much of a choice.

8. Yet, while this is at the very least, devastating; there is so much
humanity in Faith’s willingness to die for her cause. She says, “When
I recognized the value of my humanity it was impossible for me to
watch other people have their humanity taken away.” She goes on
to share the great disparity between white trans women and BIPOC
trans in prison. Throughout her entire prison stay, Faith thinks she
met only two white trans women. The women being targeted by men
and correctional officers, and administrators, were BIPOC. These
women were extorted, they had piss thrown on their bunkers, they
were raped and jumped.
When Kamala Harris was “giving a prison number to every trans
woman she saw” in San Francisco, Faith was incarcerated in
California. So while Faith was risking her life fighting for trans
rights in prison, transphobia was on full display in the hands of a
woman of color with power. I wonder who was silent when Harris
was handing out prison numbers like candy, who shouted loudly
as she ran for Vice President? I think of Kimberlé Crenshaw’s Ted
Talk on Intersectionality and black women. She asks the crowd to
participate in a social project to see who knows Black men who
have experienced police brutality versus the Black women killed by
police.
As Crenshaw starts listing the names she asks folks to sit when they
do not recognize the names. Michelle Cusseaux. Tanisha Anderson.
Aura Rosser. Meagan Hockaday. Most of the auditorium was
standing as Eric Garner. Mike Brown. Tamir Rice. Freddie Gray were
called out. When the women’s names came, only four people were
left standing.
Faith is not surprised by this reality. She says They don’t care about
black women. They especially don’t care for black trans women.”
She still wonders for those who claim they are in solidarity with
black trans women, who care for justice: “what the fuck are y’all

9. waiting for?” She continues: “If they know someone’s watching you,
they don’t fuck with you.”
This is juxtapositioned by the communities that Faith builds and
leads. Where she says “all I need is a scent of predatory shit from
a cis man and I’m on him like a hyena. There’s no way I’m gonna
watch another person get accosted.” But her main argument comes
up again, “this is why they kill us, cause no one is watching.” Faith
recently turned 40, to many of us she may be the oldest trans
person we know. It’s because trans women, black trans women
especially, die for merely existing in their truth.
When asked what she would tell trans youth so they can see 40,
she cried. I did too. In her fight for her humanity Faith shed blood,
but she also lost family members. As we see her survival, she
remembers all of those who didn’t get to survive. This is heart
wrenching, but makes her fiercely protective. “No one’s ever asked
me that question and I’m so ferociously protective of our babies. We
help them navigate a world that wants them dead. We share things
to help them navigate the violence It makes me so angry because
the best we can do is be there when they get hurt or bury them
when they die.”
Faith continues with an important nod to intersectionality: “Black,
brown, Indigenous women don’t get to thrive without bumps and
bruises. Sometimes it’s rape, murder, getting beat up, but the pain
is coming.” and in this horrifying truth she goes on to say to young
trans folks, “It’s alright if you’re scared. I’m scared too. Just keep
going. Don’t let this bullshit society fold you. You can have joy. We
have to steal moments, steal every fucking moment you can.”
The Great Mother, teaching her babies to thrive.
After a strike, Faith received a letter that Miss Major might be paying
a visit. She was almost killed and was in a coma, so the organization

10. was coming to check on her. Miss Major was not able to visit so
Ms. Melanie came, dressed to the nines, and loved up on Faith as
she was recovering. In between rests, Faith shared her stories and
Ms. Melanie told her she looked over the girls like a brooding hen.
Trans women gift each other names, help cultivate legacies, and
Miss Melanie was ready to give Faith hers: “this might not make
a lot of sense right now, and maybe you’ll grow into it: The Great
mother.”
When I ask her about her sacred sexuality, her power, it is all in her
softness, in her femininity.
Hard femme as in raw power. “Raw fucking power and the
acceptance of that. I did conversion therapy, I did everything to not
be me. But Bitch, I’m here now. Ain’t no going back. You’re gonna
have to kill the raw power. I’m the walking embodiment of nurturing
and love. I hope they find their power, it’s the only class of water in
the desert.” Faith has held on to her softness, her femininity, this is
her survival, her source of power.
I tried to stop myself from crying during our interview and she
reminded me to not give those men shit, including a rejection of
emotion. This brooding mother hen, gently loving and nurturing me
as she tells me how hard the world has made it for her to live as
herself. Faith has been giving blood, sanity, wellbeing, in the name
of the movement. I am here to ask you now, what are you doing for
black trans liberation? What are you willing to give for black trans
liberation?

11. Calls to action:
Find black trans women in prison and become their penpals, send
them stationary, there is no abolition without loving those that have
been incarcerated.
Donate and Support the Black Trans Fund
Read Faith’s manifesto, zines, and writing and share it with your
friends
Donate to Faith’s gofundme, after several attacks and the need to
take a significant amount of time off, most of the money has been
spent on back rent and bills. Continue to support her in recovering
from the non-stop suffering she experiences being a black trans
woman in the U.S.
(GoFundMe)

12. “Untitled” by Quinn (he/they)

13. at the colosseum
Pavel Frolov (he/him)
the Leather harness
i held o n t o
looked like Metal
in those Circuit Party
L I G H T S
my Roman Gladiator
shielded me
from bears, wolves, and gators
tender Gladius
under his Subligaculum
farness
a Desire
didn’t know that i still have
i am Alone
but i Believe in Love

14. Poems
Jasper Sage Elysian (they/she/he)
A Night in the Life of a Doll
Get the dolls and run the town
Hit the ball and win the crown
Transfemme firecracker
All you bitches best get down
Floor too sticky to shuffle
Might get into a tustle
Find me T4T baby
Sick of that cishet maybe
Platforms got me 6’10”
Tower over all the men
Puny, fragile, masculine,
Repress divine feminine
I don’t top, I peg
So get on your knees and beg
Princess wand made for them all
So get your legs above my head
Cage his cock and lock the key
Experiment with CBT
Stiletto stomp shrimp teste
Your safe word is cry baby
Love me hate me I don’t care
You’re still in my underwear
Endorphins flowing, none to spare
Now get the fuck up out my hair
Sacred Firsts
Hands, grasping
Lips, grazing
Skin, electric
Our chests rise
Breathing in tandem
Our hearts pound and synchronize
Vulnerable firsts
In trusting spurts
You open up
Forgetting time
You eyes stuck in mine
Giggles break unnoticed silence
You smile invites a kiss
Opportunity persists
Take the risk and experience bliss

15. Is what i’d say to you
Lying in the hands of the god
Who made me relax with a hand
On my back
no homo
I’d say as I wrote about you
Your hands like Sappho weaving
Her desire for women
no homo
I said as I hung out with you
Seeing your instruments
While waiting for your lips
To brush against mine
like the lovers we were meant to be.
No homo
Ollie (he/they)

16. “Homoeroticism” by xlemonprince (he/they)

17. Mav (they/them)
a righteous rage motivated they/them who
believes love & abolition are the only ways
to freedom
intersectional disabled baddie meets a love
of chronic, sociological training, and art
I write for liberation, pleasure, to push
queerness beyond whiteness, and to piss off
white christian nationalists
TikTok: @mavsays
Instagram: @fatqueercrydistro
Twitter: @mxmavega
Venmo: @iammasv
Cashapp: @socimav
ABOUT THE CONTRIBUTORS
Mel Jayne (she/her)
I’m a writer and artist who has been featured
in a number of zines. My work explores
queer characters within contemporary
settings. I spend a lot of time reading and
creating my webcomic ‘Summer of Seoul’.
My favorite novel is ‘The Starless Sea’ by
Erin Morgenstern.
www.melissajaynewriter.co.uk
Instagram: @meljaynedraws
Tumblr: @meljayne
Quinn (he/they)
Quinn is a north Texas-based creative who
creates queer media in the form on short
films, stories and traditional-media art.
His free time includes watching horror and
monster of the week shows (favorite being
Buddy the Vampire Slayer) and gardening.
“To me, community is protecting your
neighbor and knowing they’d do the same.”
Venmo: @gayjohnbender

18. Jasper Sage Elysian (they/she/he)
An artist without a medium, Jasper is a
gender fluid creative who recently transplant
to Rogers Park. They are excited to become
connected with the community and explore
the freaky queer side of Chicago.
Pavel Frolov (he/him)
Originally from Moscow, Russia, Pavel Frolov
is a queer-identified San Francisco based
performer and writer, recently relocated
after 20 years in New York City. He holds a
BA in Communication from Brooklyn College.
Pavel’s recent poems have appeared
in various online magazines and print
anthologies. Also, Pavel’s CNF short stories
“The Appetite Zone or Penny Dreadful for a
Marxist” & “It Gets Worse” were published in
MIXED MAG Issues 13 & 16 last year.
Pavel is a writer and producer of a drag
web-series “Cooking with Natasha,”
hosted by his drag persona Natasha. The
series deals with Russian identity through
Natasha’s thick accent and Russian cuisine.
It is a political statement because in Russia
it has recently become illegal to simply
identify as LGBTQ, as Putin’s anti-gay hate
continues to escalate. The series is available
on YouTube, IG Reels & TikTok (@cwntv)
ko-fi.com/pavelfrolov

19. Ollie (he/they)
Ollie Shane is the author of the chapbook I
Do It So It feels Like Hell (Bottlecap Press,
2022). His work has been published or is
forthcoming in Thirty West, New Voices
Magazine, and elsewhere.
Venmo: @aolshane-134
Cashapp: @aolshane
xlemonprince (he/they)
xlemonprince is the career pseudonym for
Texas based queer artist and creative,
Ryan-Elliot E. Hirsch. They are a multi
disciplinary artist sharing their experiences
as a queer trans masculine person in
today’s world. His favorite mediums are
currently acrylic painting, printmaking, and
photography.
ABOUT THE TEAM
Mav (they/them)
a righteous rage motivated they/them who
believes love & abolition are the only ways
to freedom
intersectional disabled baddie meets a love
of chronic, sociological training, and art
I write for liberation, pleasure, to push
queerness beyond whiteness, and to piss off
white christian nationalists
TikTok: @mavsays
Instagram: @fatqueercrydistro
Twitter: @mxmavega
Venmo: @iammasv
Cashapp: @socimav
Editorial team

20. Xochitl/Xochi [Socheel/Suchee]
Hubbell-Fox (any)
Xochitl is a Chicago native who works
in grassroots community placemaking,
violence prevention, and youth advocacy
on the West side. They have an academic
background in psychology and are in the
middle of pursuing a bachelors from NEIU.
Their writing is focused in grant writing and
research and they are currently launching
an Internship for Design Equity for young
people through their position at Territory
NFP.
Instagram: @xoycheese
Twitter: @xochihfox
Elisha (he/him)
Elisha is an artist/designer/illustrator/writer/
whatever born and raised in WA. He loves
video games, horror, sex, books, and soft
fabrics. Nuance is his favorite word and his
favorite thing.
Tumblr: @mothteeth3
(not pictured)
(on purpose)
Editorial team
Cover & layout designer
Toby Everhart (they/them)
Toby is a community organizer and writer
who recently relocated to Chicago from
Seattle. They are way too into D&D and
talking about gender.
As a writer, Toby focuses on the transgender
experience and where it intersects with
history, spirituality, and community.
Twitter: @_saturnsreturn
Instagram: @everharttarot
TikTok: @everharttarot
Editorial team/organizer
Instagram: @fknqueers Twitter: @fknqueers