This presentation is intended for students taking the SLT and the Treaty of Waitangi paper at Massey University, New Zealand. It focuses on the essay question and deals specifically with researching, referencing, summarising, quoting, planning and paragraph flow.

1. 271.152 ESSAY WRITING
CENTRE FOR TEACHING AND LEARNING LIBRARY 3RD FLOOR
09 441-8143 slc-alb@massey.ac.nz
1. Analyse the question
2. Do the research
3. Organise your essay plan
4. Write the first draft
5. Get feedback
6. Revise your draft
7. Submit your completed essay
http://tinyurl.com/271152essay2014

2. QUESTION ANALYSIS
As a Speech and Language Therapist in Aotearoa/ New
Zealand you will at times need to work in a bi-cultural
setting. The Treaty of Waitangi is a founding document
that guides practice as a Speech and Language
Therapist.
Explain how a speech and language therapist may
incorporate the Treaty of Waitangi into practice when
working with whanau Maori and what cultural aspects
need to be taken into consideration. (2000 words)

3. Content
• Definition of cultural aspects
• Application to SLT practice
• Reference to the Treaty of Waitangi
Writing
• Introduction, conclusion, flow of essay
• Spelling, grammar and formatting
• Referencing
Assessment Criteria

4. RESEARCH
expert opinions
definitions of
concepts
facts & figures
FROM books
course readings
journal articles
high quality web sites
theories & models

5. Referencing Queries
1. First consider the credibility of online sources
(e.g. reputable organisation)
2. Then, if you are going to use an online source,
look for the name of the author and date of
publication somewhere on the webpage. If
there’s no named author, use the institution as
the author. If there’s no date, use (n.d.)
3. Even if the website provides ‘how to reference
this’ advice, don’t rely on it; it may need to be
revised to fit APA 6th style

6. Orange, C. (2012). The Treaty of Waitangi.
Retrieved from http://www.TeAra.govt.nz/en/treaty-
of-waitangi
Example A: How would you reference a webpage,
based on this information given at the bottom of
the page:
How to cite this page:
Claudia Orange. 'Treaty of Waitangi', Te Ara - the
Encyclopedia of New Zealand, updated 9-Nov-12
URL: http://www.TeAra.govt.nz/en/treaty-of-waitangi

7. Archives New Zealand, Te Rua Mahara o te
Kāwanatanga. (2014). Treaty of Waitangi - Te
Tiriti o Waitangi. Retrieved from
http://archives.govt.nz/exhibitions/treaty
Example B: How would you reference this
webpage, based on this information collected
from different parts of the page:
Treaty of Waitangi - Te Tiriti o Waitangi
Archives New Zealand, Te Rua Mahara o te Kāwanatanga
Crown Copyright 2014
http://archives.govt.nz/exhibitions/treaty

8. Kingi, K. R. (2006). The Treaty of Waitangi and Maori mental
health. A Paper Presented at the Te Mata o te Tau Lunchtime
Lecture Series, Massey University, Wellington, New Zealand.
Retrieved from
http://www.massey.ac.nz/massey/fms/Te%20Mata%20O%20Te%20Tau/Publi
cations%20%-20Te%20Kani/T%20Kingi%20 Treaty_of_Waitangi_Maori_
Health1.pdf
Example C: How would you reference this
webpage, based on this information on the title
page of a document found on the Massey
University website?
THE TREATY OF WAITAINGI AND MĀORI HEALTH
Te K. R. Kingi, Te Pumanawa Hauora, School of Māori Studies, Massey
University, WELLINGTON
A Paper Presented at the Te Mata o te Tau Lunchtime
Lecture Series. March 2 2006

9. Example D: You’d like to use the following extract from the
Kingi article in your essay. How do you go about it?
Additionally, the Tribunal focuses on the “principles” or
“spirit” of the Treaty as opposed to the actual text.
The use of “principles” was designed to avoid the obvious
problem of having two different versions of the Treaty, but
also provided a more flexible framework for the
interpretation of Treaty related concerns and obligations.
Whereas in the past the Treaty had been applied to
physical resources, such as land, forest, and fisheries, the
principles were broader and therefore not as restrictive.
Summarising from a source

10. 1. Avoid quoting too much. Generally, only quote
definitions of key concepts. In all other cases,
summarise in your own words.
2. Summarise methodically by:
1. selecting key ideas
2. writing short notes in your own words
3. closing the original text
4. expanding notes into sentences – either
integrating the authors into the sentence or
putting them in brackets at the end

11. Step 1: Highlight key ideas
Additionally, the Tribunal focuses on the “principles” or “spirit”
of the Treaty as opposed to the actual text.
The use of “principles” was designed to avoid the obvious
problem of having two different versions of the Treaty, but also
provided a more flexible framework for the interpretation of
Treaty related concerns and obligations. Whereas in the past
the Treaty had been applied to physical resources, such as
land, forest, and fisheries, the principles were broader and
therefore not as restrictive.
Step 2: Turn these into short notes in your own words
Principles – avoid difficulties arising from discrepancies
between two versions of the Treaty
more flex. broader. not just related to physical resources

12. Step 3: Close the original document
Step 4: Expand your short notes into sentences
Principles – avoid difficulties arising from discrepancies
between two versions of the Treaty
more flex. broader. not just related to physical resources
As Kingi (2006) points out, the formulation of Treaty Principles
avoided difficulties arising from discrepancies between the
different versions of the Treaty and created broad, practical
guidelines which can be applied to a wide range of contexts
and practices.

13. Example E: You’d like to use this explanation of cultural safety
from a Nursing Council publication. How do you go about it?
The nurse delivering the nursing service will have undertaken a
process of reflection on his or her own cultural identity and will
recognise the impact that his or her personal culture has on his
or her professional practice. Unsafe cultural practice comprises
any action which diminishes, demeans or disempowers the
cultural identity and well being of an individual.
Quoting from a source
Details of the publication from the website:
Guidelines for Cultural Safety, the Treaty of Waitangi and Maori
Health in Nursing Education and Practice
Nursing Council of New Zealand, PO Box 9644, Wellington 6011
www.nursingcouncil.org.nz First published March 2005
Last amended July 2011 © Nursing Council of New Zealand 2011
ISBN 978-0-908662-38-8

14. Step 1: Strip away the ‘leaves’ and ‘twigs’ leaving just the
cherry
The nurse delivering the nursing service will have undertaken a
process of reflection on his or her own cultural identity and will
recognise the impact that his or her personal culture has on his
or her professional practice. Unsafe cultural practice comprises
any action which diminishes, demeans or disempowers the
cultural identity and well being of an individual.
Step 2: Put the cherry in your bowl
In order to ensure cultural safety, practitioners need to be
aware of how their own culture may affect those in their care,
in order to avoid “any action which diminishes, demeans or
disempowers the cultural identity and well being of an
individual” (Nursing Council of New Zealand, 2011, p. 7).

15. Which source to cite?
You’ll find Treaty Principles, the Whare Tapa Wha model etc
mentioned in many different books, articles, websites etc.
So which source do you cite when you mention it in your
essay?
Generally, go for the ‘straight from the horse’s mouth’ approach –
i.e. cite the original creator of a model and one of the books or
articles it first appeared in. For instance:
Durie, M. H. (1994). Whaiora: Māori health development.
Auckland, New Zealand: Oxford University Press.
When you can’t identify that – for instance, for Treaty Principles –
use a ‘gold standard’ source – i.e. a book or article from an
academic journal by a respected academic. For instance:
Kingi, T. R. (2007). The Treaty of Waitangi: A framework for Māori
health development. New Zealand Journal of Occupational
Therapy, 54(1), 4-10

16. PARAGRAPH PLANNING
So for this essay, start off with a rough plan for:
10 - 15 paragraphs
Average words per paragraph: 120 – 200 (in other
words four to eight sentences)
Word limit: 2000 words

17. How do you create a paragraph plan?
Step 1: Set aside one paragraph each for the introduction
and conclusion. You can worry about those later!
Step 2: Identify the parts to the question.
• Reference to the Treaty of Waitangi
• Definition of cultural aspects
• Application to SLT practice
Step 3: Decide on a model, made up of different parts, that
you can use as an overall framework for most of the body of
your essay. For instance:
• Treaty Principles
• Whare Tapa Wha
• SLT Practice

18. Step 4: Allocate paragraphs to each part of the framework
you’ve chosen – for instance
Example Paragraph Plan 1
Introduction (1 paragraph)
Treaty (1 paragraph)
Treaty Principles (1 paragraph)
Whare Tapa Wha (1 paragraph)
Taha tinana (2 paragraphs)
Taha wairua (2 paragraphs)
Taha whanau (2 paragraphs)
Taha hinengaro (2 paragraphs)
Conclusion (1 paragraph)
Each of these sections
would first explain the
concept (and any related
Maori concepts) and then
apply it to a particular
aspect of SLT practice

19. Example Paragraph Plan 2
Introduction (1 paragraph)
Treaty (1 paragraph)
Treaty Principles (1 paragraph)
Protection (3 paragraphs)
Partnership (3 paragraphs)
Participation (3 paragraphs)
Conclusion (1 paragraph)
As with plan 1, each of
these sections would first
explain the concept (and
any related Maori
concepts – and then
apply it to particular
aspects of SLT practice

20. Example Paragraph Plan 3
Introduction (1 paragraph)
Treaty (1 paragraph)
Treaty Principles (1 paragraph)
Whare tapa wha (1 paragraph)
Language (1 paragraph)
Speech (1 paragraph)
Swallowing (1 paragraph)
Voice (1 paragraph)
Fluency (1 paragraph)
Multimodal Communication
(1 paragraph)
Conclusion (1 paragraph)
Each of these sections
would first summarise
what an SLT might do in
this domain of practice
and then highlight one or
more relevant Maori
cultural concepts

21. How can you make your
writing flow?
Given the frequency and importance of management decisions, it is unsurprising
that costly errors occur. Recent examples include the disastrous strategy of
Lehmann Brothers and the inadequate response to Hurricane Katrina (White,
2009). These errors may be attributed to external factors, such as time-pressures
or unpredictable changes in the environment, or internal factors, such as a lack of
expertise or tiredness. However, why do managers not identify such factors and
address them rationally? The answer appears to be that rationality itself is limited
or ‘bounded’ (Simon 1955; Kahnemann, Fredrickson, Schreiber, & Redelmeier,
1993), by a number of psychological constraints which make humans prone to
specific ‘cognitive biases’ in their decision-making. These cognitive biases are
intuitive (Kahneman, 2003) and essentially automatic tendencies which “shape
how human beings select and process information” (Krause, 2008, p. 28).
Numerous cognitive biases have been found, but this essay will focus on four
particular biases which have been identified as crucial to poor management
decision-making: reliance on past experience, self-interest, pre-judgements and
attachments (Finkelstein, Whitehead & Campbell, 2009). .....
1: Repetition and
Variation of key topic
words
Example paragraph from a Management essay

22. How can you make your
writing flow?
Given the frequency and importance of management decisions, it is unsurprising
that costly errors occur. Recent examples include the disastrous strategy of
Lehmann Brothers and the inadequate response to Hurricane Katrina (White,
2009). These errors may be attributed to external factors, such as time-pressures
or unpredictable changes in the environment, or internal factors, such as a lack of
expertise or tiredness. However, why do managers not identify such factors and
address them rationally? The answer appears to be that rationality itself is limited
or ‘bounded’ (Simon 1955; Kahnemann, Fredrickson, Schreiber, & Redelmeier,
1993), by a number of psychological constraints which make humans prone to
specific ‘cognitive biases’ in their decision-making. These cognitive biases are
intuitive (Kahneman, 2003) and essentially automatic tendencies which “shape
how human beings select and process information” (Krause, 2008, p. 28).
Numerous cognitive biases have been found, but this essay will focus on four
particular biases which have been identified as crucial to poor management
decision-making: reliance on past experience, self-interest, pre-judgements and
attachments (Finkelstein, Whitehead & Campbell, 2009). The nature of
these biases will be explored below, ....
2: Start new sentences
by referring back to topic
in previous sentences /
paragraphs

23. INTRODUCTION
PARAGRAPHS
… put the issue into a context that shows why
it’s both important and problematic
... include a brief definition / explanation
of the topic
... briefly preview the structure of the essay
... present the main argument of the essay
in a thesis statement

24. CONCLUSION
PARAGRAPHS
THE CONCLUDING PARAGRAPH typically ...
… rephrases the thesis statement
... summarises and connects the main supporting
arguments
... comments briefly on the implications for the
present or future (eg for people entering the SLT
profession)

25. STEP 6: REVISE YOUR
DRAFT
ADD?
• More use of topic words?
• More explanation in your own words?
• Clearer ‘looking back’ with ‘this’ ‘such’
‘Moreover,..’ etc?
• Additional referencing?
• Irrelevant points?
• Text ‘lifted’ from your source?
• Repetition of ideas?
• Unoriginal examples?
SUBTRACT?

26. STEP 6: REVISE YOUR
DRAFT
• Does anything in the introduction deserve
its own paragraph?
• Would my examples etc fit better with a
different point?
• Would my paragraphs flow better if they
were in a different order?
MOVE?
• Non-academic language?
• Thesis-statement (if it no longer
matches the essay)
• Do direct claims (‘it is’) need to be
hedged (‘it could be argued that ..’ ‘it
appears that that ..’)?
CHANGE?

27. STEP 7: SUBMIT YOUR
ASSIGNMENT
• Referencing
• Overuse of commas
• Monster or Mini-paragraphs
• Common spelling & grammar mistakes
PROOF-
READ
at the last
moment
Give yourself a big pat on the back!
You’ve done it!
Check submission
details!
• Date?
• Hard copy or only online?
• Only through Stream or on Turnitin?

28. KEY POINTS
•Analyse the question and plan your timeline
•Develop a paragraph plan
• Fish for definitions, expert opinions, facts & figures
from books and articles
• Ensure paragraphs and sentences flow
•Get feedback and revise your first draft!

29. © 2014
This PowerPoint Presentation and the accompanying
handouts are copyrighted by Centre for Teaching and
Learning, Massey University and may not be used, except
for personal study, without written permission from the
copyright owner.
References and arguments are provided for illustration of writing principles
only – not for their content!
http://tinyurl.com/271152essay2014