Al right, once again we've got guest stars! I would like to thank Illinois comic Shaun Reinert and Austin comic Pat Dean for lending their writing talents to this week's edition of Russell Vega!

1. Survive The Team
Pass His Classes
Get A Job
Get The Girl
… That’s All

2. Pat Dean’s Lines Are In Green
Shaun Reinert’s Lines Are
In Orange… Or Is It Red??
I’m Not Sure.
I’d Like To Thanks Today’s Guest Stars Who Will Be Playing
Russell Vega’s Coach!! Introducing Pat Dean And Shaun
Reinert!

3. Chapter 2
• Scene 2
“Hi, do you coach wrestling?” “Yes and I am a coach.”

4. I coach wrestling!
Hi, I'm Russell Vega. I'm
in kind of a rut here
You see, I've been
majoring in phys ed for
the last four years.

5. THAT'S A
LONG
TIME!!
Well, yes Sir. I'm a senior here.
I'm really low on credit and I
have to join the wrestling team
if I want to graduate on time.
Long story short, I'm not a
wrestler. But I was wondering if
I can join the team and work
out with you guys for some
credit.

6. You think
so?
Well those
thighs tell a
different tale.
Hell, I'm not
even an athlete.

7. I KNOW so. How
much can you
bench press?
Uh, how much does
the bar weigh…?...

8. How much
can you
thigh press?
Um... I'm not
sure. How is
that done?

9. Well Sir,
I'm here to
learn!
I lay on your thighs.
And you lift me with them.
That’s a thigh press
Look, if you're going to be a
wrestler you're going to
have to know these things,
ok?

10. Oh, I'll LEARN you~
I'll learn you
something fierce!
Like that six pack
stuff?

11. No, that doesn't
matter in wrestling.
It’s all about the
thighs. Take off your
pants. They belong to
me now.
Um... we're not in the
locker room. And I have
to go to class after this.

12. Why are your pants
still on?!
Because we just met!!

13. The only "class" I'm worried about is a class action
lawsuit. I'm your coach. So you have to listen to me:

14. Do you know
where I can
get some
blow?!
That depends.
By "blow" do
you mean
"weed"?

15. No dummy, cocaine. I'm a
wrestling coach and I love
cocaine. Forget all that
stuff I said about your
pants, I'm trying to get
drugs.
You know that you're
saying that out loud,
right?
And these wrestlers are
still working out!

16. Well how else am I
supposed to get drugs,
use sign
language????? Nah
they're cool!!!!!
They know?

17. Listen: I need drugs! The only way you can get on the
team is if you get them to me!
Al right, I can do it.
You sure I can't just
give you a reference
though?

18. A drug reference?

19. Get em, boys!!Um ... ... uh
oh

20. Get the fdrugs
Give me the
drugs. Then
you're on the
team!
AL RIGHT!! AL RIGHT!!
AL RIGHT!! AL RIGHT!!

21. I just thought that since you use them,
you'd know where to get them.

22. No; I get them from wrestlers!!
Then why are you
asking me to do
it?

23. BECAUSE YOU'RE A WRESTLER NOW. I want drugs, my life is empty.
I'm a wrestling coach. Things haven't worked out
You'd be surprised at what pot and
rock and roll can cure….

24. I don't like
Rock'n'Roll, I'm a
smooth jazz guy.
Fair enough.

25. ...We test for
pot here,
son..!!..
Oh... when's
the next test?

26. Well, those guys
over there are
practicing fire
man carries..!!..
So you'll test me the
next time there's a fire?

27. Can I get some of
your weed? My wife
is really been on my
ass lately!
Should you be saying
that out loud, Sir?
Also, how do you know I
have any?

28. Was that out loud?
Little tip, this here
ain't coffee.
Good. Coffee gives you
bad breath.

29. You could try to climb that rope,
it's supposed to be a life long
motivator to achieve your goals
through hard work, but the
quacks in the P.T.A. are banning
it soon.
Whoa... The rope.
That looks
challenging.

30. It's a pain in the
ass, only the
best athletes can
climb it….
Only the best, Sir?
Who here do you
think can do it?

31. Correct, think
you got what
it takes?
Well, I
could give
it a try.

32. Look at all these
athletes. Do you
think any of them
CAN’T climb a damn
rope, YOU MORON?
I just grab onto
it and hold
onto it with my
feet?

33. Hand over
hand, all the
way up.
Because I think I
can climb it using
my hands and
feet.

34. Well, no time like the
present, you should
take off that book
bag first, that'll just
weigh you down…
Honestly, I'm glad that
the book bag is what you
think stands out about
me.

35. Al right, I'll be
right back…
You can start whenever
you're ready, I'm gonna
freshen up
this....um....coffer –
Coffee…

36. Al right, I've been training my whole life for
this moment.

38. By the way, we
believe in
hazing here.
That explains a lot.

39. OK ladies, shower
up! And give your
jocks to Jerry
Garcia here.
So, this is day one.

40. First day, ya
gotta wash
those.
Doesn't next period
start in 40 minutes?

41. Really? This
coffee makes
time go slow.
So if I wash these, do I
get to work out with
your team for some
credit?

42. If you last a
week...then you're in.
Its going to be a
tough week. We start
early, before school
and we stay late!!
Al right. That's a deal! I
can last more than a
week! All I'm going to
need is a hall pass... and
a bottle of detergent!

43. I want to be able to
drink out of those
when you're done
Hey man, I gotta go...
my wife is calling me
from the next room.
HALL
PASS

44. Once Again, Thanks To Pat Dean And
Shaun Reinert.
• Pat Dean Would Like To Plug lanekrarup.com