Administration

1. ASSERTIVENESS
By / MahmoudShaqria
‫شقريه‬ ‫محمد‬ ‫محمود‬

3. Out lines:-
 Introducation
 What is assertiveness.
 Characteristics of assertiveness.
 Communication style.
 Behavioral component of assertiveness.
 Technique for assertivness.
 Which is best style

4. WHAT IS
ASSERTIVENESS?
 Assertiveness: is the
quality of being self-assured
and confident without being
aggressive.

5. And also …..
Assertiveness :-
-is a skill regularly referred to in social and communication skills
training.
-Being assertive means being able to stand up for your own or
other people's rights in a calm and positive way, without being
either aggressive, or passively accepting 'wrong'.

7. characteristic OF
ASSERTIVENESS
(1) Persistence:
Stay focused on the issue
- don't get distracted, defensive, or start justifying your
self.
(2) Objectivity:
Focus on the problem not on the emotions that often
accompany and cloud problem.
(3) Validation:
Allow people to have their experience, but try to move
beyond it to a discussion about the problem.

8. (4) Owning:
Being assertive means you also must own what is yours to own. If the other
person has a point about your behavior, own it.
Accept someone's criticism as feedback rather than an attack, this shows that
if their perspective were true, you should own it.
(5)Challenging false information:
When attacked with false and negative statements, don't fall prey to
defensiveness.
Disagree, using factual information.
(6) Humor:
It breaks down negative emotions.
It can put tense situation at ease.
Be careful to use humor appropriately and professionally

9. Communication Style:
 Non-assertive)passive) behaviour
 I am not ok,you are ok
 Aggresive behaviour
 I am ok,you are not ok
 Manipulative behaviour
 I am not ok,you are not ok
 Assertive behaviour
 I am ok,you are ok

10. Negative attitude and passive
behaviour
 Lack of self confidence and low self esteem
 Lack of self respect
 Self putdowns
 Negative feelings and thoughts about yourself
 Feeliings of inferiority compared to others
 Like others to be in control of people and
situations
 Feel guilty towards others
 demotivated

11. Negative attitude and
aggressive behaviour
 Lack of self confidence and low self esteem
 Lack of respect towards others
 Put others down
 Feelings of superiority
 Like to be in control of people and situations
 Disinterested in others’ thoughts and feelings
 Feel angry towards others and are quick to
blame them
 Don’t listen to or ask questions
 Dismissive of feedback

12. Manipulative(passive and
aggressive) behaviour
 Lack of self confidence and low self esteem
 Lack of self respect and lack of respect for others
 Mistrustful and suspicious of others’ motives
 Negative feelings and thoughts about self and
others
 Feel very wary towards others
 Dishonest and indirect
 Twist what others have said
 Undermine others’ self esteem
 Depressed and demotivated

13. Positive attitude and assertive
behaviour
 Self confidence and high self esteem
 Respect for self and towards others
 Take responsibility for self
 Motivated to do a good job
 İnterested in others’ feelings and thoughts
 Ask questions
 Honest and direct
 Listen to others
 Ask others for feedback

14. 5-ASSERTIVENESS BY VERBAL
AND NONVERBAL
COMMUNICATION
1. Non-verbal components:
 Eye contact: Is considered appropriate when it's
intermittent, that is looking directly at the person to whom
one is speaking but looking away and then.
 Body posture: It suggest an active interest in what is
being said. It can be achieved by standing with an erect
posture and squarely facing the other person
 Gesture: It give the image of a confident and
independent person. It can be achieved by standing
straight and holding one's head high.

15.  Distance or physical contact: The distance
between two person in an interaction has a strong
cultural influence, invasion of this space may be
interpreted as very aggressive.
 Voice tone: It viewed that when speaking
assertively, using firm voice but at normal pitch,
volume and rate beside, using influence as changing
tone to emphasis on an important part of statement.
 Timing: Assertive responses are most effective
when they are spontaneous and immediate.
 Listening: Assertive communication is not the one
way dialogue; it's includes a willingness to listen to
others' point of view.

16. 2. Verbal components
 The content of assertive message should be
clear and concise and mean what the person
wants to say and should be appropriate to the
social and cultural situation in which the
conversation is taking place.

17. •Do you often feel as though you are constantly saying yes to
others for fear of being rejected or judged?
•Do you rarely ever state your opinion on things?
•Maybe you find it hard to ask for what you want or stand up for
yourself when you feel you should?
How to be assertiveness in any
situation

18. This can be because you find it hard to be assertive.
If this is the case, you may find yourself in a tough
situation as the more you let people put their own
priorities and opinions over you, the more stressed you
may become. I am going to discuss some
assertiveness techniques for you to hopefully learn in
order to be more assertive.
Cont……

19. Being assertive doesn’t mean you have to be
mean or rude, but you can stand up for yourself
at times that you need too and be more aware
of your own opinion and responsibilities.
Firstly, let’s look at why being assertive is
important.

20. Why Is Being Assertive Important?
As mentioned, being able to know when and how to be assertive can really
help you in tough situations. If you are not assertive, you may not be giving
yourself enough value and could be putting others before yourself.
If you lack assertiveness, you are likely to experience the following problems:
 A fear of being judged. You may feel that others will judge you if you try
and stand up for yourself, even when you know you are in the right.
 You always say yes to favors, even when you know you do not have
enough time. Again, in this instance, you are putting others responsibilities
above your own and may stretch yourself too thin.

21.  You may be afraid to say something in a situation such
as poor customer service or damaged products. Even
though you are in your right, you may still not speak up in
fear of being seen as rude or fear of others being rude to
you.
 You can also have problems expressing and giving
positive feelings. For example, giving and receiving
compliments may be hard for you as you may be feeling
bad about yourself after putting others before you and could
be feeling anxious.
Cont……..

22. How To Be Assertive In Any Situation
Now that you are aware of the reasons as to why it’s
important that you should be assertive, you can begin
to learn how to be assertive in ANY situation.
It can be very easy to take a back seat, keep quiet and
help others but not yourself, however, if this continues
to happen it could cause great stress for yourself.

23. 5 Assertiveness Techniques To Use In Any
Situation
If you can take these assertive techniques and start
putting them into practice, you may start to feel a lot
better.
Here are my 5 ways to become assertive.

24. 1. Listen Actively
When you can listen to what someone else is saying and understand
their point of view, you can start to look at things differently. As you
may be feeling stressed and undervalued, it can be easy to take
things to heart.
If someone is criticizing you, try and stay positive and actively listen
to what they have to say. Once they have finished, you should be
able to see things from their point of view and can politely and
respectfully tell them how you feel.
If you disagree, explain why, and know that you are not in the wrong
for stating your own feelings, this can really help when you are
learning to be assertive.

25. 2. Aim For Open And Honest Communication
When you are trying to be assertive, you may feel that you are
being rude or mean, this is normally not the case.
Being assertive is a great way to express how you feel and you
do not have to be negative when doing so.
You should respect others, even if you disagree with what you
are saying.
You should then be able to share your feelings, your wants or
needs whilst still thinking of the other person’s feelings and
being polite.

26. For example, if someone has asked you to babysit
again but you have no time, you can say ‘I really enjoy
looking after Molly, but I have too much to do today so
I will not be able to babysit, I’m sorry.’ This way you
are still being assertive and saying no but in an open
and honest way.

27. 3. Understand Passive Communication
You need to try and be aware when you are using passive
communication. Passive communication is normally used
when you do not believe your opinion is valid or level to
others, it can also occur when you have lack of respect for
yourself.
When you are being assertive, you are expressing your
feelings and thoughts to others, even if you both disagree,
with passive communication; this normally does not happen.

28. For example, if someone asks you if you wanted to go
out for a day to a place you are not really keen on you
may be likely to reply with ‘Yes, of course, that’s fine’,
because you do not want to upset anyone or you find it
hard to put your feelings above others. Become aware
of this and try and change your opinion of yourself and
your feelings so that you can improve and start to be
assertive.

29. 4. Learn To Say No
People can often worry that saying no to others is rude or
selfish, but most of the time that is not the case.
You need to focus on yourself and your own responsibilities and
then you can decide whether or not you should say no or yes. It
is ok to put yourself first, especially if you do not have a lot of
time for yourself.

30. f you constantly give your time and energy to others,
this can seriously impact your mental and physical
health.
If you can learn to say no, in a polite and respectful
way, you are then starting to be assertive. It’s not
selfish, you are just setting your own priorities and
putting yourself and your time first.

31. 5. Express Your Needs And Feelings
We can sometimes feel like others should know how we feel,
even if we have not expressed it ourselves. This can be a
problem, as everyone has their own problems or issues and will
not always know when you have one. If you can learn how to
properly express your needs and feelings you may not be put in
as many negative situations, as people will know beforehand
how you are feeling.

32. For example, if you have expressed that you are
feeling stressed and that you feel like you need an
evening to yourself, your friend should be less likely to
ask you for a favor, as they will already know that you
are quite busy and won’t need the added pressure.

33. 7-Using non-verbal comminication for sending the
message
8-It is not universal, it depends on the position and
the individual
9-It is getting social responsibility
10-It is not the nature of the humankind, it can be
learned

34. Which is the Best Style
All styles have their proper place and use.
Assertive communication is the healthiest.
Boundaries of all parties are respected.
Easier to solve problem.
When both parties do it, no one is hurt in any way
and all parties win on some level.