1. The story that is yetto be told
The Last Strawby Lenox Lizwi Mhlanga
Whenthe story of Zimbabwe’sJulyelectionsiswrittenitwill surelybe the stuff of folklore.Forall
the wrong reasons.Itmore than qualifiestobe one.The kindthatgrannieswill be churningoutat
the firesidesforyearstocome.
It will be about whatwe scribescall a pyrrhicvictory,one in whicheventhe victorsare sostumped
theyare still ‘digestingit.’Onthe otherhand,the victims,because theycan’tsurelyjustbe losers,
are ‘walkingaroundlike zombies’,justtoborrow frommyformervarsityroommate Tendai Biti.
The electionsalsobringtothe fore anotherdauntingfact – that mygeneration mayneversee and
experience true democracyinourlifetime. ItconfirmsadiscoverythatI made all those yearago
whenI leftuniversityintothe worldof employmentslapbangedrightintoESAP.Ifeltwe were
indeedacursedgeneration.
It isa storyabout howa nationhas beennikuved,anew termthat isenteringeverydaybanter
meaningtobe cheated,deceived, kukakatwa.Itbucksthe boundariesof disbelief. Abantu
abalankaninyanisi!
What has beenworryingisthe growingqueue of organisationsandindividualsbeatingaclearpath
to Zanu PF’sdoorto congratulate themontheir‘landslide’victory.One JacobGedleyinhlekisaZuma
mustbe one veryrelievedpresident,now thata once perennial albatrossisoff hisandSADC’sneck.
That relief issopalpable giventhe speedwithwhichhe andthe otherSADCleadersendorsedthe
electionresults,except of course, Botswana’sIan Khama.
Trust Khamato buck the trend.The same Ianthat RobertMugabe would see ridingatricycle each
time he paidlate Sir Seretse Khamaavisit.Iadmire the man forhisforthrightnessandhisstand
againstanythingnonsensical fromwhateverhallowedgrounditmaycome.Addto the crew Phandu
Skelemani hisfeistyKalangaborn foreignminister.
Phandumusthave plentyof relativesfromacrossthe borderwithplentyof storiestotell.The latest
of course beingthattheyincredibly andoverwhelminglyvotedZanuPF.Skelemani hasneverhad
any kindwordsforZimbabwe’sleadershipexceptwhendiplomacydemandsit.Butforall the insults
that are nowdirectedtheirwayviaourstate media,theywouldn’tbe damned.It’saquestionof
principle.
Back to Zuma,we all knowthatthe victoriousPartydidnotlike himone bit.Theyhave already
clearlystatedthatthe current situation,if one maycall itthat, doesnotrequire mediation.We are
eventoldthatZimbabwe will notbe onthe agendaof the forthcomingSADCsummit. The Partymay
pull one or tworabbitsfromtheirhat in the comingfew daysto buttressthisfact.
While we are all walkingaroundlike zombies,itmaybe likelythatsome political horse tradingcould
be takingplace behindthe scenes.Incredible asitmaysound,Zanu PFcouldbe consideringoffering
the MDC T a fewtokencabinetpoststo try andpacifythem. That theyare capable of doing.
The grapevine hasitthat Tsvangirai couldbe offeredthe othervice presidency,while Chamisa,Biti
and probablyColtart, perhapsJamesMaridadi (kikiki),couldsneaktheirway intowhatwouldlargely
be a bloatedgravytrain.Butlike I said,itsonlyspeculation. One isallowedflightsof fancywhere
anythingcan happen!

2. However, Tsvangirai’s legal challenge of boththe presidential andparliamentary resultsanddeciding
to take up seatsintheirzonesof influence leavingoutanyparticipationingovernmentand
parastatalscouldhave put the spannerinthe works.
All thiscouldhinge onthe outcome of the constitutional courtchallenge.We are notgivingout
prizesasto whichdirectionthey will gogiventhe sardinenature of ourjudiciary.ThoughImust
handit out to Justice Lawrence Kamochaforhaving puton hold JonathanMoyo’srequestfora
recountinthe TsholotshoNorthconstituency.Youcan’tevenbegintoimagine how thrilledIwas.
It’sa personal thing.
Andof course we have the resignationsof commissionersMkhululi Nyathiand Prof Geoff Feltoe
fromthe Zimbabwe Electoral Commission.Itbroughttears to myeyesthat we still have such
upstanding,professional peopleinourmidstwhocan stand up for whattheybelieveinandvote
withtheirfeet. Mkhululiuyindoda emadodeni–a man among men!
As a partingshotI shouldmentionthatthere wasa noticeable shiftinthe post-electionmoodof
Zimpaper’sStarFM. One couldtell thattheywere barelyrestrainingthemselvesfromburstingoutin
celebration.NotthatIam faultingthematthis.Movingfrom here onwardsitwill be difficultto
distinguishbetweenthemandthe ZBCswhich initself isveryinstructive toadvertisers.
For all itsworth,ZiFMhas remainedtrue toitscreed,despite the factthatSupa,won onthe Party’s
ticket.Iam impressedby theirall-encompassingapproach.Fornow that is.
Ends//