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Train the Trainer:
Facilitation Skills for Courageous Conversations

     The Bay School of San Francisco
               Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
                Seattle Girls’ School

         Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
About Seattle Girls’ School




        Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Agenda
   Courageous conversations
   What keeps us from having them?
   Priming for the conversation
   Facilitation skills
   Practice makes less heart-attack-inducing
   Discussion time
   Wrap up

           Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Courageous Conversations




  Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Fears and Anxieties that Keep Us
  from Having Conversations
                              Offending

                              Losing Face

                              Tokenism

                              Professional Risk

                              Bursting the Bubble

                              Rocking the Boat

                              Conflict

                              Lack of “Authority”
     Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Pitfalls and Obstacles that Keep Us
       from Conversing Again
                               Outbursts

                               Silence

                               Denial

                               The Good Talk

                               Teacher vs. Facilitator

                               Personal Attacks

                               The Quick Fix

                               Leadership Oppression
      Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Open Acknowledgment




 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Define the Opportunity




 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Avoiding the Pitfalls and
       Overcoming the Obstacles
 Powerful stories

 Powerful statistics

 Powerful analogies

 Facilitation Skills

 Welcoming environment

 Clear and strict norms

 Willingness to sit with
  discomfort
           Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Facilitation Skills

                 Space

                 Confidence and Competence

                 Relationship Building

                 Credibility

                 Flexibility and Authority

                 Optimism

                 Modeling

                 Multiple Learning Styles

Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Facilitation Tips
 Co-facilitation

 Depersonalization

 Vulnerability

 Relationships

 Saving it for Later

 Discomfort

 Clarification

 Listening

 Hot Buttons
          Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Break




Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Practice Makes…
Less Heart-Attack-Inducing




  Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Structure
 Groups of 5
   – Facilitator
   – 2 Participants
   – 2 “Challenge” Roles
 10 Minute Discussions

 Critical Friends Style Feedback for the Facilitator

 Switch roles

 3 Rounds of Discussion


          Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Goals to Strive For

 Be Real

 Don’t End Early

 Don’t “Admire the Problem”

 Sit With All the Feelings

 Support the Facilitator

   Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Round One Discussion Time
Discussion: Schools struggle to have many
  students and faculty members of color
   because there “aren’t enough strong
 candidates of color.” What do you think?

   Round One
   Discussion

   Round One
   Feedback and
   Discussion
        Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Round Two Discussion Time
Discussion: Should schools revamp the
curriculum to include multiple diversity
perspectives even if there is little to no
 diversity of that sort in the student or
        faculty/staff population?

  Round Two
  Discussion
  Round Two
  Feedback and
  Discussion
       Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Round Three Discussion Time

Discussion: What is the role of men and
women in the work toward gender equity
          and social justice?

   Round Two
   Discussion
   Round Two
   Feedback and
   Discussion
       Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Break




 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Large Group Share



  What were some:
   Ah-ha moments
   Great strategies
      Heads up
Questions or Concerns



Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Next Steps

 Attend more Train the Trainer workshops

 Have more real discussions with people
  who affirm you
 Have more real one-on-one dialogue with
  people who may or may not affirm you
 Continue to learn and grow in your
  knowledge base for content AND skills

        Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
NCBI Effective Interventions Model
 Reduce Defensiveness
   – Tone
   – Body Language
   – Respect
 Keep the Conversation Going
   –   Hear Them Out
   –   Ask Open-Ended Questions
   –   Set Aside Your Feeling for the Moment
   –   Dialogue
 Build the Relationship

 Win an Ally
    Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Everything You Ever Wanted to Interrupt
      But Didn’t Know How To…

 Think of trigger events of phrases

 Which ones have proven most challenging?

 Which ones would you like to strategize effective
  interventions for?
 Strategize for different people: strangers,
  acquaintances, friends, family members,
  children, etc.




        Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Practice Makes…

                    Please work in pairs:
                      -Feed the trigger phrase
                      -Respond
                      -Feedback
                      -Try Again
                      -Repeat




Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Sharing the Wisdom




Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Final Questions or Comments?




   Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Resources
• Anti-Defamation League
• Cross Cultural Connections
    (www.CulturesConnecting.com)
• Facilitation First
• Jimpact Enterprises, Inc.
• National Coalition Building Institute
• The People’s Institute
• Stirfry Seminars
• The Thiagi Group
     Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Presenter Information
     Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
     6th Faculty and
     Professional Outreach
     Seattle Girls’ School
     2706 S Jackson Street
     Seattle WA 98144
     (206) 805-6562
     rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org
     http://tiny.cc/rosettalee

Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

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The Bay School Train the Trainer

  • 1. Train the Trainer: Facilitation Skills for Courageous Conversations The Bay School of San Francisco Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Seattle Girls’ School Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 2. About Seattle Girls’ School Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 3. Agenda  Courageous conversations  What keeps us from having them?  Priming for the conversation  Facilitation skills  Practice makes less heart-attack-inducing  Discussion time  Wrap up Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 4. Courageous Conversations Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 5. Fears and Anxieties that Keep Us from Having Conversations  Offending  Losing Face  Tokenism  Professional Risk  Bursting the Bubble  Rocking the Boat  Conflict  Lack of “Authority” Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 6. Pitfalls and Obstacles that Keep Us from Conversing Again  Outbursts  Silence  Denial  The Good Talk  Teacher vs. Facilitator  Personal Attacks  The Quick Fix  Leadership Oppression Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 7. Open Acknowledgment Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 8. Define the Opportunity Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 9. Avoiding the Pitfalls and Overcoming the Obstacles  Powerful stories  Powerful statistics  Powerful analogies  Facilitation Skills  Welcoming environment  Clear and strict norms  Willingness to sit with discomfort Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 10. Facilitation Skills  Space  Confidence and Competence  Relationship Building  Credibility  Flexibility and Authority  Optimism  Modeling  Multiple Learning Styles Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 11. Facilitation Tips  Co-facilitation  Depersonalization  Vulnerability  Relationships  Saving it for Later  Discomfort  Clarification  Listening  Hot Buttons Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 12. Break Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 13. Practice Makes… Less Heart-Attack-Inducing Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 14. Structure  Groups of 5 – Facilitator – 2 Participants – 2 “Challenge” Roles  10 Minute Discussions  Critical Friends Style Feedback for the Facilitator  Switch roles  3 Rounds of Discussion Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 15. Goals to Strive For  Be Real  Don’t End Early  Don’t “Admire the Problem”  Sit With All the Feelings  Support the Facilitator Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 16. Round One Discussion Time Discussion: Schools struggle to have many students and faculty members of color because there “aren’t enough strong candidates of color.” What do you think? Round One Discussion Round One Feedback and Discussion Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 17. Round Two Discussion Time Discussion: Should schools revamp the curriculum to include multiple diversity perspectives even if there is little to no diversity of that sort in the student or faculty/staff population? Round Two Discussion Round Two Feedback and Discussion Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 18. Round Three Discussion Time Discussion: What is the role of men and women in the work toward gender equity and social justice? Round Two Discussion Round Two Feedback and Discussion Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 19. Break Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 20. Large Group Share What were some: Ah-ha moments Great strategies Heads up Questions or Concerns Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 21. Next Steps  Attend more Train the Trainer workshops  Have more real discussions with people who affirm you  Have more real one-on-one dialogue with people who may or may not affirm you  Continue to learn and grow in your knowledge base for content AND skills Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 22. NCBI Effective Interventions Model  Reduce Defensiveness – Tone – Body Language – Respect  Keep the Conversation Going – Hear Them Out – Ask Open-Ended Questions – Set Aside Your Feeling for the Moment – Dialogue  Build the Relationship  Win an Ally Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 23. Everything You Ever Wanted to Interrupt But Didn’t Know How To…  Think of trigger events of phrases  Which ones have proven most challenging?  Which ones would you like to strategize effective interventions for?  Strategize for different people: strangers, acquaintances, friends, family members, children, etc. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 24. Practice Makes… Please work in pairs: -Feed the trigger phrase -Respond -Feedback -Try Again -Repeat Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 25. Sharing the Wisdom Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 26. Final Questions or Comments? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 27. Resources • Anti-Defamation League • Cross Cultural Connections (www.CulturesConnecting.com) • Facilitation First • Jimpact Enterprises, Inc. • National Coalition Building Institute • The People’s Institute • Stirfry Seminars • The Thiagi Group Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 28. Presenter Information Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee 6th Faculty and Professional Outreach Seattle Girls’ School 2706 S Jackson Street Seattle WA 98144 (206) 805-6562 rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org http://tiny.cc/rosettalee Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)