How do you navigate microaggressions - those words and actions that offend or hurt, even though they may be unintended? Learn some of the obstacles of authentic conversations, as well as practical strategies for what to do or say when you are the target of, witness to, and agents of microaggressions.

1. Undergraduate Programs
Foster School of Business
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Seattle Girls’ School
Navigating Microaggressions:
Dialogue Tools for Ouch Moments
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2. About Seattle Girls’ School
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3. Courageous Conversations
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4. Debunking Some Myths
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 All or None
 Mistakes
 Apologies
 “Tonsils” Theory
 Vulnerability

5. Growing Through Mistakes
William Taylor’s Reflective Competence Model
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6. Reflection: Courageous Conversations
What are some personal or
professional environment
challenges for authentic
dialogue? How might you
move into more
courageous dialogues in
your professional and
personal life?
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7. What Are Microaggressions?
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Accumulated Impact
Regular, Frequent, and Pervasive
Based on Stereotype
Often Unintended

8.  Microassaults
– Explicit
– Conscious and Deliberate
– Backstage Spaces
 Microinsults and Microinvalidation
– Hidden
– Often Unknown or Unintended
– Frontstage Spaces
Categories of Microaggressions
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9.  Alien in Own Land
 Ascription of Intelligence
 Colorblindness
 Criminality/Assumption of Criminal Status
 Denial of Individual Racism
 Myth of Meritocracy
 Pathologizing Cultural Values/Styles
 Second-Class Citizen
 Environmental
Microaggressions/Macroaggressions
Racial Microaggressions
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10. Reflection
What are the
microaggressions that
manifest and impact
individuals in this
environment?
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11. Speaking From the Heart
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Can you lean on the
relationship?
Can you make it personal?
* Is your relationship
hierarchical? *

13. Being A DEAR
 Affirm the person or relationship
 Describe the behavior without judgment
 Explain the emotion/impact and your filters
 Assume positive intent
 Request or suggest different behavior
*** Key Points: timing, I statements, actions not
adjectives, inside feelings not outside feelings***
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14. Being A DEAR: An Example
I think you and I both agree we all have a
right to be respected and heard in this
community. When we were disagreeing
about budgets, you said “You’re being
overdramatic,” and later, you called me a
“drama queen.” Statements like this make it
sound like I am being too emotional and
that my concerns are drama rather than real
issues. I am assuming you don’t intend to
police my tone or dismiss my concerns. I
would appreciate your not saying things
like this anymore. Thank you.
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15. Being A Witness
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16. Are you speaking to the agent or
the audience?
Do you want to minimize harm to
the target group?
Do you want to educate?
Do you want to challenge social
norms?
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17. NCBI Effective
Interventions Model
 Reduce Defensiveness
– Tone
– Body Language
– Respect
 Keep the Conversation Going
– Hear Them Out
– Ask Open-Ended Questions
– Set Aside Your Feeling for the Moment
– Dialogue
 Build the Relationship
 Stop the Behavior
 Win an Ally
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18. Active Witnessing: Examples
 Ask open ended questions
– “He looked suspicious”
– “How did he look? How was he acting? Why was that suspicious?”
 Find out the experience motivating the comment
– “Why can’t they just speak English around here?”
– “It must be hard not to understand what people are saying around you.”
– “I’m sick of my taxes paying for freeloaders”
– “Tell me more about about that.”
 Use exaggerated humor to highlight what’s going on
(use sparingly)
– “What do gay people think about this issue?”
– “I’m not sure – I’ll go ask. It may take me a while, since there are so many gay people.”
 Join the person and do not make yourself superior
– “She got that award because she’s Black and female.”
– “You know, I hear that a lot. I’ve been trying to figure out why we seem to think when a
Black woman gets recognized it must be because of ‘diversity’ or ‘affirmative action’
reasons rather than that she earned it.”
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19. Listening to the Real Message
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Is this about what you did or
who you are (guilt or shame)?
What is your mindset voice
telling you?
Might this be an opportunity to
learn and grow?

21. Growing from Mistakes
 Listen with full attention
 Don’t try to defend or respond right away
– Take deep breaths
– Acknowledge your feelings
 Your mistakes don’t define you
– Be worthy of their trust and gift
 Prioritize the Impact over Intent
– Apologize for real
*** Moving through these moments with grace is
called shame resilience. It’s a vital skill***
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22. Growing from Mistakes: Examples
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 “I really appreciate your telling me this.”
 “I’m so embarrassed that I did that.”
 “I’m very sorry my words and actions made you
feel that way.”
 “I’m pretty overwhelmed right now, and I don’t
want to respond in a way I’d regret. Do you think
you can help me come up with a better way to
handle that situation after I take a few minutes?”
 “I wanted to go back to a moment I don’t think I
handled very well… Can we talk?”

23. Process Break
How might you use
these tools in your
professional and
personal life? What
questions or concerns
come up?
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24. Final Words of Advice:
Recognize Your Triggers
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25. Find Your Bucket People
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26. Practice Makes
Less Freeze-Ups
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27. If You Messed Up and You Know It,
Don’t Wait for the Intervention –
Just Apologize
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28. If You’re Really Sorry,
Work to Improve
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29. Build Authentic Relationships
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30. Inclusive Communities
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31. Presenter Information
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
6th Faculty and
Professional Outreach
Seattle Girls’ School
2706 S Jackson Street
Seattle WA 98144
(206) 805-6562
rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org
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32. Final Questions or Comments?
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33. Resources
• Anti-Defamation League
• Brené Brown
• Cross Cultural Connections
(www.CulturesConnecting.com)
• National Coalition Building Institute
• The People’s Institute
• Stirfry Seminars
• Teaching Tolerance
• The Thiagi Group
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