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Bishop Strachan School
Faculty and Staff
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Seattle Girls’ School
Cultural Competency:
Stretching the Inclusive Boundaries
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
About Seattle Girls’ School
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Agenda
 Cultural Competency
 Experience Across Difference
 Zoom In: Microaggressions
 Navigating Ouch Moments
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Getting the Most Out of Today
Apply Growth Mindset
Ask Questions
Participate Fully
Use Technology to Help You Engage
Visit Website After
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Safety versus Comfort
Safety: I feel that, in this space, I can ask questions without
fear of judgment. I can voice my perspective and know that
I will be validated for the fact that that is my truth. Others
may challenge my ideas, but that challenge is in the spirit of
greater shared understanding and growth.
Comfort: I feel that, in this space, my reality will be agreed
with, validated, and unchallenged. I don’t have to explain
myself to be understood, and I don’t have to justify my
perspective, as everyone shares it.
True dialogue happens in an environment where everyone is
safe but not always comfortable...
SO THAT THEY CAN LEARN AND GROW.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Safe Spaces 2.0 – Brave Spaces
 Controversy with Civility
 Own your own intent and impact
 Challenge by choice – with reflection
 Respect in all its multiplicity
 No personal attacks, but pointed
challenges are okay
 Be mindful of the true source of your
emotions
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Willingness to Self-Examine
William Taylor’s Reflective Competence Model
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Culture [consists] primarily of the
symbolic, ideational, and intangible
aspects of human societies… It is the
values, symbols, interpretations, and
perspectives that distinguish one
people from another.
James A. Banks
What is Culture?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Dimensions of Identity and Culture
This model of identifiers and culture was created by Karen Bradberry and Johnnie Foreman for NAIS Summer Diversity Institute,
adapted from Loden and Rosener’s Workforce America! (1991) and from Diverse Teams at Work, Gardenswartz & Rowe (SHRM 2003).
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Cultural Competency
Cultural competence is a set of
congruent behaviors, attitudes and
policies that come together in a
system, institution or individual and
enable that system, institution or
individual to work effectively in cross-
cultural situations.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Terry Cross
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
The Jones Model of Cultural Competence
Cultural Self-
Awareness
Cultural
Intelligence
Cross-Cultural
Effectiveness
Skills
Countering
Oppression
through
Inclusion
Cultural Competency: Key Elements
Value Orientation
Diversity as Value Added
Respect
Relationships
Equity
Thought Orientation
Knowledge
Awareness
Systems Thinking
Action Orientation
Consciousness Building
Capacity Building
Assessment
Adaptation
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Process Break
Where do you feel your
school is currently in its
development toward cultural
competency? What makes
you think so? What are
some initial thoughts on what
areas the school can
improve?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Break
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Experiences Across Difference
Internalized Oppression/Dominance
Stereotype Threat
Accumulated Impact/
Microaggressions
Code/Mode Switching
Fish Seeing the Water
“Normal” versus “Good”
“Intent” versus “Impact”
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Reflection Conversations
How do experiences of
identity and difference
show up at BSS? In what
ways does the school
excel, and in what ways
can the school grow?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Lunch
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Process
Process
Check
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Caucus Groups
 Think about your various identities, and which
ones hold much importance to you.
 Which one of your identities do you feel most
moved to advocate for and educate around?
 You will be answering the following prompts:
– What we never want people to say, think, or
do towards our group is…
– What we want you to know about our group
is…
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
National Coalition Building Institute, Seattle Chapter, “Building Bridges Workshop,” Adapted by Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Caucus Groups Formation
 Groups Identified
 Locations Assigned
 Caucus Groups
Meeting Time
 Caucus Group
Report Outs
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
To Keep in Mind:
 Write down all answers to prompts.
 Think about which items you’d like to
share with the larger group.
 Everyone in the group is invited to stand
together.
 Decide who will share items and how.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Caucus Groups/Locales:
 Mother of Children
with Differences (2)
 Women in Male-
Dominated Positions (3)
 Being Childless (4)
 Adoptees (5)
 Feminist (6)
 Not Following
Traditional Age Timeline
(7)
 Being the Only
Member of Your Ethnic
Group (8)
 Being Black (9)
 Religious Minority (11)
 Being Religious (12)
 Working Parent (13)
 LGBTQAITS (14)
 Immigrant (16)
 Low Vision (19)
 Single Parent (20)
 Rural Upbringing (21)
 Boarding Student (22)
 Second + Generation
(23)
 Mental Illness (24)
 Female (25)
 Male (26)
 Ethnic Minority (27)
 Perceived Dominant
(30)
 Political Spectrum (29)
 Educational
Background (1)
 Artists/Creative Types
(18)
 Introverts (17)
 Stigmatized bject
Teachers (15)
 Geeks (10)
– What we
never want
people to
say, think, or
do towards
our group
is…
– What we
want you to
know about
our group
is…
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Caucus Groups Work Time
Please document the responses to the following
prompts:
– What we never want people to say, think, or
do towards our group is…
– What we want you to know about our group
is…
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Caucus Group Report Outs
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Debrief: Caucus Groups
1. What information was new,
informative, moving, etc. to
you?
2. How does this information
change what you will think or
do in the future?
3. What action can you take to
become a better advocate for
yourself?
4. What action can you take to
become a better ally for
others?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Debunking Some Myths
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
 All or None
 Mistakes and Moral Worth
 Apologies
 “Tonsils” Theory
 Vulnerability
Speaking From the Heart
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
What We’re Thinking and Feeling
When Receiving the Ouch
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Did that really
happen? Do they
realize? I want to
trust, but I’ve had
this happen so
many times before.
I am so stressed,
confused, hurt….
What We End Up Saying
When Receiving the Ouch
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
That was so
offensive!
I can’t believe
you did that!
Self Advocacy Through the Ouch Moment
 Affirm the person or relationship
 Describe the behavior without judgment
 Explain the emotion/impact and your filters
 Assume positive intent
 Request or suggest different behavior
*** Key Points: timing, I statements, actions not
adjectives, inside feelings not outside feelings***
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Self Advocacy Through an Ouch Moment:
An Example
Is this an okay time to talk? I really appreciate
having you as a colleague. We’ve collaborated
well, and I respect the contributions you make to
the team. Earlier today, when we were in a
disagreement about the budget allocation, I heard
you say, “You’re being such an emotional
woman.” I was really hurt when I heard that. I am
passionate and express myself openly, and it
seems like so many people misinterpret that as
my being a too emotional and that it’s because I
am a woman. It’s frustrating and saddening that I
don’t get to express myself fully or authentically
without judgment. I imagine you didn’t mean for
me to feel that way. Can I ask that you please not
say things like that anymore?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Practice Round:
Self Advocacy Through the Ouch Moment
 Affirm the person or relationship
 Describe the behavior without judgment
 Explain the emotion/impact and your filters
 Assume positive intent
 Request or suggest different behavior
*** Key Points: timing, I statements, actions not
adjectives, inside feelings not outside feelings***
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Being A Witness
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
What We’re Thinking and Feeling
When Witnessing the Ouch
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
I can’t believe this
is happening.
That’s SO not
right. Should I
say something?
Am I butting in?
Would it help?
I am so upset!
What We End Up Saying
When Witnessing the Ouch
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
What Others Hear When We Say Nothing
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
See? They
agree with me!
I am so right
about this.
No one sees or
understands. I
am alone.
NCBI Effective
Interventions Model
 Reduce Defensiveness
– Tone
– Body Language
– Respect
 Keep the Conversation Going
– Hear Them Out
– Ask Open-Ended Questions
– Set Aside Your Feeling for the Moment
– Dialogue
 Build the Relationship
 Stop the Behavior
 Win an Ally
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Say Something to Somebody
 Now or Later (or Say It Now About a Later)
 Target, Agent, Fellow Bystanders, Authority Figures
“In the End, we will remember not the words of
our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Intervening in the Ouch Moment: Examples
 Seek pleasure and delight in the other person
– “How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?”
– “I’m SO glad you told me that joke. I’ve been trying to figure out why we think people
with yellow hair are stupid.”
 Find out the experience motivating the comment
– “Why can’t they just speak English around here?”
– “It must be hard not to understand what people are saying around you.”
– “I’m sick of my tuition paying for scholarship students.”
– “Tell me more about that.”
 Use exaggerated humor to highlight what’s going on
(use sparingly)
– “That movie is so gay.”
– “That movie is attracted to other movies? I didn’t know that was possible!”
 Join the person and do not make yourself superior
– “She got that award because she’s black and female.”
– “You know, I hear that a lot. I’ve been trying to figure out why we seem to think when a
black woman gets recognized it must be because of ‘diversity’ stuff rather than that she
earned it.”
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Practice Round:
Intervening in the Ouch Moment
 Seek pleasure and delight in the other person
 Find out the experience motivating the comment
 Use exaggerated humor to highlight what’s going
on (use sparingly)
 Join the person and do not make yourself superior
***Ask open ended questions***
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Listening to the Real Message
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
What Was Said During the Intervention
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Those words or
actions are
hurtful to me.
Please stop.
What We Hear During the Intervention
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
You are a
bad, bad
person, and I
hate you!
What We Should Hear
During the Intervention
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
You are basically a good
and decent person. As
with all of us, you’ve
made a mistake in
behavior or words, and
you may not know the
impact they have on
others. I am going to
give you the gift of
information so that your
impacts can match your
intent.
When You’re Told About
the Ouch Moment You Created
 Listen with full attention
 Don’t try to defend or respond right away
– Take deep breaths
– Acknowledge your feelings
 Your mistakes don’t define you
– Be worthy of their trust and gift
 Prioritize the Impact over Intent
– Apologize for real
*** Moving through these moments with grace is
called shame resilience. It’s a vital skill***
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
When You’re Told About
the Ouch Moment You Created:
Examples
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
 “I really appreciate your telling me this.”
 “I’m so embarrassed that I did that.”
 “I’m so sorry my words and actions made you feel
that way. No matter what I intended, it hurt you.”
 “I’m pretty overwhelmed right now, and I don’t
want to respond in a way I’d regret. Do you think
you can help me come up with a better way to
handle that situation after I get into a calmer
place?”
 “I wanted to go back to a moment I don’t think I
handled very well… Can we talk?”
When You’re Told About
an Ouch Moment You Made
 Listen with full attention
 Don’t try to defend or respond right away
– Take deep breaths
– Acknowledge your feelings
 Your mistakes don’t define you
– Be worthy of their trust and gift
 Prioritize the Impact over Intent
– Apologize for real
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Final Words of Advice:
Recognize Your Triggers
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Find Your Bucket People
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Practice Makes
Less Heart-Attack-Inducing
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
If You Messed Up and You Know It,
Don’t Wait for the Intervention –
Just Apologize
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
If You’re Really Sorry,
Work to Improve
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Build Authentic Relationships
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Developmental Model of Intercultural
Sensitivity (DMIS) Schematic
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
• Policy – Enumeration of the school’s diversity
commitment through mission, strategic plan,
handbooks, websites, etc.
• Programming – Diversity training and programming for
all constituencies (board, admin, faculty, staff,
students, families, etc.). Diversity and inclusivity
curriculum.
• Practice – Consistent and meaningful revisit of policy and
programs. Climate assessments, proactive changes,
and meaningful responses to incidents.
• People – Critical mass of people who are supportive AND
active on all levels.
• Pecuniary – Funding, people, and time allocated in the
strategic plan and daily life for supporting diversity
efforts.
Identifying Growth Zones – The 5Ps
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Stretching the Inclusive Boundaries
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Presenter Information
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
6th Faculty and
Professional Outreach
Seattle Girls’ School
2706 S Jackson Street
Seattle WA 98144
(206) 805-6562
rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org
http://tiny.cc/rosettalee
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Identity Resources
• Carlos H. Arce, “A Reconsideration of Chicano Culture
and Identity”
• Atkinson, Morten, & Sue, “Racial/Cultural Identity
Development Model (R/CID)”
• Mindy Bingham and Sandy Stryker, “Socioemotional
Development for Girls”
• Vivienne Cass, “Homosexual identity formation: Testing
a theoretical model”
• William Cross, Shades of Black: Diversity in African
American Identity”
• Anthony D’Augelli, “ Identity development and sexual
orientation: Toward a model of lesbian, gay, and
bisexual development”
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Identity Resources
• Erik Erikson, “Eight Stages of Man”
• J. E. Helms, Various Publications on Racial and Ethnic
Identity Development
• Jean Kim, “Processes of Asian American Identity
Development”
• James Maricia, “Four Ego and Identity Statuses”
• Suzanne Kobasa Ouellette, “The Three C’s of
Hardiness”
• Jean S. Phinney, “Ethnic Identity in Adolescents and
Adults: Review of the Research”
• Ponterotto & Pederso, Preventing Prejudice
• Maria P. P. Root, Various Works on Multiracial Identity
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Identity Resources
• Patricia Romney, Karlene Ferron, and Jennifer Hill,
“Measuring the Success of Diversity Directors in
Independent Schools”
• Pedro Ruiz, “Latino/a Identity Development Model”
• Chalmer E. Thompson and Robert T. Carter, Racial
Identity Theory
• Alex Wilson, “How We Find Ourselves: Identity
Development and Two Spirit People”
• Christine J. Yeh, “The Collectivistic Nature of Identity
Development Among Asian-American College
Students”
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Resources
 Joshua M. Aronson, Ph.D., “Improving Achievement &
Narrowing the Gap,” Learning and the Brain
Conference, Cambridge, MA, November 2003
 Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference.
 Miss Representation, documentary film on media and
women
 United Nations Population Fund Statistics on Gender
Equality as of 2005
http://www.unfpa.org/swp/2005/presskit/factsheets/facts
_gender.htm
 Learning to be critically literate of mass media
http://www.medialit.org/
 Media Guide for Parents and Educators
http://www.commonsensemedia.org/
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Gender Specific Resources
 Jennifer Bryan, various trainings and publications on gender
and sexuality diversity, From the Dress Up Corner to the
Senior Prom
 JoAnn Deak, Ph.D., Girls Will Be Girls: Raising Confident and
Courageous Daughters, How Girls Thrive
 Jackson Katz, Tough Guise, Wrestling with Manhood, The
Macho Paradox
 John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies on
early gender differences in competition and play
 Mary Pipher, Ph.D., Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of
Adolescent Girls
 Rachel Simmons, Odd Girl Out, Odd Girl Speaks Out, Curse
of the Good Girl
 Michael Thompson, Raising Cain, Speaking of Boys, It’s a
Boy!
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Communication Resources
• “Stereotype Threat” by Joshua Aronson
• Brenda J. Allen, Difference Matters: Communicating
Social Identity
• William Gudykunst, Cross-Cultural and Intercultural
Comunication
• Milton Bennett, PhD, Intercultural Communication
Institute www.intercultural.org
• “Non-Verbal Communication Across Cultures” by Erica
Hagen, Intercultural Communication Resources
• Thiagi.com
• Thrive! Team Dynamics
• http://www.analytictech.com/mb021/action_science_
history.htm
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Miscellaneous Resources
• Karen Bradberry and Johnnie Foreman, “Privilege and
Power,” Summer Diversity Institute, National Association
of Independent Schools, 2009
• Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, Nurture Shock
• Kevin Jennings, GLSEN (Gay Lesbian and Straight Education
Network) www.glsen.org
• Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference
• Johnnie McKinley, “Leveling the Playing Field and Raising
African American Students’ Achievement in Twenty-nine
Urban Classrooms,” New Horizons for Learning,
http://www.newhorizons.org/strategies/differentiated/
mckinley.htm
Michael J Nakkula and Eric Toshalis, Understanding Youth.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

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Bishop Strachan School Cultural Competency and Microaggressions

  • 1. Bishop Strachan School Faculty and Staff Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Seattle Girls’ School Cultural Competency: Stretching the Inclusive Boundaries Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 2. About Seattle Girls’ School Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 3. Agenda  Cultural Competency  Experience Across Difference  Zoom In: Microaggressions  Navigating Ouch Moments Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 4. Getting the Most Out of Today Apply Growth Mindset Ask Questions Participate Fully Use Technology to Help You Engage Visit Website After Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 5. Safety versus Comfort Safety: I feel that, in this space, I can ask questions without fear of judgment. I can voice my perspective and know that I will be validated for the fact that that is my truth. Others may challenge my ideas, but that challenge is in the spirit of greater shared understanding and growth. Comfort: I feel that, in this space, my reality will be agreed with, validated, and unchallenged. I don’t have to explain myself to be understood, and I don’t have to justify my perspective, as everyone shares it. True dialogue happens in an environment where everyone is safe but not always comfortable... SO THAT THEY CAN LEARN AND GROW. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 6. Safe Spaces 2.0 – Brave Spaces  Controversy with Civility  Own your own intent and impact  Challenge by choice – with reflection  Respect in all its multiplicity  No personal attacks, but pointed challenges are okay  Be mindful of the true source of your emotions Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 7. Willingness to Self-Examine William Taylor’s Reflective Competence Model Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 8. Culture [consists] primarily of the symbolic, ideational, and intangible aspects of human societies… It is the values, symbols, interpretations, and perspectives that distinguish one people from another. James A. Banks What is Culture? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 9. Dimensions of Identity and Culture This model of identifiers and culture was created by Karen Bradberry and Johnnie Foreman for NAIS Summer Diversity Institute, adapted from Loden and Rosener’s Workforce America! (1991) and from Diverse Teams at Work, Gardenswartz & Rowe (SHRM 2003). Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 10. Cultural Competency Cultural competence is a set of congruent behaviors, attitudes and policies that come together in a system, institution or individual and enable that system, institution or individual to work effectively in cross- cultural situations. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee) Terry Cross
  • 11. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee) The Jones Model of Cultural Competence Cultural Self- Awareness Cultural Intelligence Cross-Cultural Effectiveness Skills Countering Oppression through Inclusion
  • 12. Cultural Competency: Key Elements Value Orientation Diversity as Value Added Respect Relationships Equity Thought Orientation Knowledge Awareness Systems Thinking Action Orientation Consciousness Building Capacity Building Assessment Adaptation Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 13. Process Break Where do you feel your school is currently in its development toward cultural competency? What makes you think so? What are some initial thoughts on what areas the school can improve? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 14. Break Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 15. Experiences Across Difference Internalized Oppression/Dominance Stereotype Threat Accumulated Impact/ Microaggressions Code/Mode Switching Fish Seeing the Water “Normal” versus “Good” “Intent” versus “Impact” Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 16. Reflection Conversations How do experiences of identity and difference show up at BSS? In what ways does the school excel, and in what ways can the school grow? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 17. Lunch Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 18. Process Process Check Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 19. Caucus Groups  Think about your various identities, and which ones hold much importance to you.  Which one of your identities do you feel most moved to advocate for and educate around?  You will be answering the following prompts: – What we never want people to say, think, or do towards our group is… – What we want you to know about our group is… Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee) National Coalition Building Institute, Seattle Chapter, “Building Bridges Workshop,” Adapted by Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
  • 20. Caucus Groups Formation  Groups Identified  Locations Assigned  Caucus Groups Meeting Time  Caucus Group Report Outs Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 21. To Keep in Mind:  Write down all answers to prompts.  Think about which items you’d like to share with the larger group.  Everyone in the group is invited to stand together.  Decide who will share items and how. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 22. Caucus Groups/Locales:  Mother of Children with Differences (2)  Women in Male- Dominated Positions (3)  Being Childless (4)  Adoptees (5)  Feminist (6)  Not Following Traditional Age Timeline (7)  Being the Only Member of Your Ethnic Group (8)  Being Black (9)  Religious Minority (11)  Being Religious (12)  Working Parent (13)  LGBTQAITS (14)  Immigrant (16)  Low Vision (19)  Single Parent (20)  Rural Upbringing (21)  Boarding Student (22)  Second + Generation (23)  Mental Illness (24)  Female (25)  Male (26)  Ethnic Minority (27)  Perceived Dominant (30)  Political Spectrum (29)  Educational Background (1)  Artists/Creative Types (18)  Introverts (17)  Stigmatized bject Teachers (15)  Geeks (10) – What we never want people to say, think, or do towards our group is… – What we want you to know about our group is… Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 23. Caucus Groups Work Time Please document the responses to the following prompts: – What we never want people to say, think, or do towards our group is… – What we want you to know about our group is… Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 24. Caucus Group Report Outs Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 25. Debrief: Caucus Groups 1. What information was new, informative, moving, etc. to you? 2. How does this information change what you will think or do in the future? 3. What action can you take to become a better advocate for yourself? 4. What action can you take to become a better ally for others? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 26. Debunking Some Myths Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)  All or None  Mistakes and Moral Worth  Apologies  “Tonsils” Theory  Vulnerability
  • 27. Speaking From the Heart Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 28. What We’re Thinking and Feeling When Receiving the Ouch Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee) Did that really happen? Do they realize? I want to trust, but I’ve had this happen so many times before. I am so stressed, confused, hurt….
  • 29. What We End Up Saying When Receiving the Ouch Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee) That was so offensive! I can’t believe you did that!
  • 30. Self Advocacy Through the Ouch Moment  Affirm the person or relationship  Describe the behavior without judgment  Explain the emotion/impact and your filters  Assume positive intent  Request or suggest different behavior *** Key Points: timing, I statements, actions not adjectives, inside feelings not outside feelings*** Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 31. Self Advocacy Through an Ouch Moment: An Example Is this an okay time to talk? I really appreciate having you as a colleague. We’ve collaborated well, and I respect the contributions you make to the team. Earlier today, when we were in a disagreement about the budget allocation, I heard you say, “You’re being such an emotional woman.” I was really hurt when I heard that. I am passionate and express myself openly, and it seems like so many people misinterpret that as my being a too emotional and that it’s because I am a woman. It’s frustrating and saddening that I don’t get to express myself fully or authentically without judgment. I imagine you didn’t mean for me to feel that way. Can I ask that you please not say things like that anymore? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 32. Practice Round: Self Advocacy Through the Ouch Moment  Affirm the person or relationship  Describe the behavior without judgment  Explain the emotion/impact and your filters  Assume positive intent  Request or suggest different behavior *** Key Points: timing, I statements, actions not adjectives, inside feelings not outside feelings*** Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 33. Being A Witness Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 34. What We’re Thinking and Feeling When Witnessing the Ouch Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee) I can’t believe this is happening. That’s SO not right. Should I say something? Am I butting in? Would it help? I am so upset!
  • 35. What We End Up Saying When Witnessing the Ouch Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 36. What Others Hear When We Say Nothing Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee) See? They agree with me! I am so right about this. No one sees or understands. I am alone.
  • 37. NCBI Effective Interventions Model  Reduce Defensiveness – Tone – Body Language – Respect  Keep the Conversation Going – Hear Them Out – Ask Open-Ended Questions – Set Aside Your Feeling for the Moment – Dialogue  Build the Relationship  Stop the Behavior  Win an Ally Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 38. Say Something to Somebody  Now or Later (or Say It Now About a Later)  Target, Agent, Fellow Bystanders, Authority Figures “In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Martin Luther King, Jr. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 39. Intervening in the Ouch Moment: Examples  Seek pleasure and delight in the other person – “How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?” – “I’m SO glad you told me that joke. I’ve been trying to figure out why we think people with yellow hair are stupid.”  Find out the experience motivating the comment – “Why can’t they just speak English around here?” – “It must be hard not to understand what people are saying around you.” – “I’m sick of my tuition paying for scholarship students.” – “Tell me more about that.”  Use exaggerated humor to highlight what’s going on (use sparingly) – “That movie is so gay.” – “That movie is attracted to other movies? I didn’t know that was possible!”  Join the person and do not make yourself superior – “She got that award because she’s black and female.” – “You know, I hear that a lot. I’ve been trying to figure out why we seem to think when a black woman gets recognized it must be because of ‘diversity’ stuff rather than that she earned it.” Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 40. Practice Round: Intervening in the Ouch Moment  Seek pleasure and delight in the other person  Find out the experience motivating the comment  Use exaggerated humor to highlight what’s going on (use sparingly)  Join the person and do not make yourself superior ***Ask open ended questions*** Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 41. Listening to the Real Message Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 42. What Was Said During the Intervention Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee) Those words or actions are hurtful to me. Please stop.
  • 43. What We Hear During the Intervention Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee) You are a bad, bad person, and I hate you!
  • 44. What We Should Hear During the Intervention Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee) You are basically a good and decent person. As with all of us, you’ve made a mistake in behavior or words, and you may not know the impact they have on others. I am going to give you the gift of information so that your impacts can match your intent.
  • 45. When You’re Told About the Ouch Moment You Created  Listen with full attention  Don’t try to defend or respond right away – Take deep breaths – Acknowledge your feelings  Your mistakes don’t define you – Be worthy of their trust and gift  Prioritize the Impact over Intent – Apologize for real *** Moving through these moments with grace is called shame resilience. It’s a vital skill*** Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 46. When You’re Told About the Ouch Moment You Created: Examples Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)  “I really appreciate your telling me this.”  “I’m so embarrassed that I did that.”  “I’m so sorry my words and actions made you feel that way. No matter what I intended, it hurt you.”  “I’m pretty overwhelmed right now, and I don’t want to respond in a way I’d regret. Do you think you can help me come up with a better way to handle that situation after I get into a calmer place?”  “I wanted to go back to a moment I don’t think I handled very well… Can we talk?”
  • 47. When You’re Told About an Ouch Moment You Made  Listen with full attention  Don’t try to defend or respond right away – Take deep breaths – Acknowledge your feelings  Your mistakes don’t define you – Be worthy of their trust and gift  Prioritize the Impact over Intent – Apologize for real Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 48. Final Words of Advice: Recognize Your Triggers Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 49. Find Your Bucket People Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 50. Practice Makes Less Heart-Attack-Inducing Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 51. If You Messed Up and You Know It, Don’t Wait for the Intervention – Just Apologize Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 52. If You’re Really Sorry, Work to Improve Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 53. Build Authentic Relationships Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 54. Developmental Model of Intercultural Sensitivity (DMIS) Schematic Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 55. • Policy – Enumeration of the school’s diversity commitment through mission, strategic plan, handbooks, websites, etc. • Programming – Diversity training and programming for all constituencies (board, admin, faculty, staff, students, families, etc.). Diversity and inclusivity curriculum. • Practice – Consistent and meaningful revisit of policy and programs. Climate assessments, proactive changes, and meaningful responses to incidents. • People – Critical mass of people who are supportive AND active on all levels. • Pecuniary – Funding, people, and time allocated in the strategic plan and daily life for supporting diversity efforts. Identifying Growth Zones – The 5Ps Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 56. Stretching the Inclusive Boundaries Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 57. Presenter Information Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee 6th Faculty and Professional Outreach Seattle Girls’ School 2706 S Jackson Street Seattle WA 98144 (206) 805-6562 rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org http://tiny.cc/rosettalee Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 58. Identity Resources • Carlos H. Arce, “A Reconsideration of Chicano Culture and Identity” • Atkinson, Morten, & Sue, “Racial/Cultural Identity Development Model (R/CID)” • Mindy Bingham and Sandy Stryker, “Socioemotional Development for Girls” • Vivienne Cass, “Homosexual identity formation: Testing a theoretical model” • William Cross, Shades of Black: Diversity in African American Identity” • Anthony D’Augelli, “ Identity development and sexual orientation: Toward a model of lesbian, gay, and bisexual development” Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 59. Identity Resources • Erik Erikson, “Eight Stages of Man” • J. E. Helms, Various Publications on Racial and Ethnic Identity Development • Jean Kim, “Processes of Asian American Identity Development” • James Maricia, “Four Ego and Identity Statuses” • Suzanne Kobasa Ouellette, “The Three C’s of Hardiness” • Jean S. Phinney, “Ethnic Identity in Adolescents and Adults: Review of the Research” • Ponterotto & Pederso, Preventing Prejudice • Maria P. P. Root, Various Works on Multiracial Identity Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 60. Identity Resources • Patricia Romney, Karlene Ferron, and Jennifer Hill, “Measuring the Success of Diversity Directors in Independent Schools” • Pedro Ruiz, “Latino/a Identity Development Model” • Chalmer E. Thompson and Robert T. Carter, Racial Identity Theory • Alex Wilson, “How We Find Ourselves: Identity Development and Two Spirit People” • Christine J. Yeh, “The Collectivistic Nature of Identity Development Among Asian-American College Students” Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 61. Resources  Joshua M. Aronson, Ph.D., “Improving Achievement & Narrowing the Gap,” Learning and the Brain Conference, Cambridge, MA, November 2003  Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference.  Miss Representation, documentary film on media and women  United Nations Population Fund Statistics on Gender Equality as of 2005 http://www.unfpa.org/swp/2005/presskit/factsheets/facts _gender.htm  Learning to be critically literate of mass media http://www.medialit.org/  Media Guide for Parents and Educators http://www.commonsensemedia.org/ Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 62. Gender Specific Resources  Jennifer Bryan, various trainings and publications on gender and sexuality diversity, From the Dress Up Corner to the Senior Prom  JoAnn Deak, Ph.D., Girls Will Be Girls: Raising Confident and Courageous Daughters, How Girls Thrive  Jackson Katz, Tough Guise, Wrestling with Manhood, The Macho Paradox  John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies on early gender differences in competition and play  Mary Pipher, Ph.D., Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls  Rachel Simmons, Odd Girl Out, Odd Girl Speaks Out, Curse of the Good Girl  Michael Thompson, Raising Cain, Speaking of Boys, It’s a Boy! Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 63. Communication Resources • “Stereotype Threat” by Joshua Aronson • Brenda J. Allen, Difference Matters: Communicating Social Identity • William Gudykunst, Cross-Cultural and Intercultural Comunication • Milton Bennett, PhD, Intercultural Communication Institute www.intercultural.org • “Non-Verbal Communication Across Cultures” by Erica Hagen, Intercultural Communication Resources • Thiagi.com • Thrive! Team Dynamics • http://www.analytictech.com/mb021/action_science_ history.htm Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
  • 64. Miscellaneous Resources • Karen Bradberry and Johnnie Foreman, “Privilege and Power,” Summer Diversity Institute, National Association of Independent Schools, 2009 • Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, Nurture Shock • Kevin Jennings, GLSEN (Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network) www.glsen.org • Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference • Johnnie McKinley, “Leveling the Playing Field and Raising African American Students’ Achievement in Twenty-nine Urban Classrooms,” New Horizons for Learning, http://www.newhorizons.org/strategies/differentiated/ mckinley.htm Michael J Nakkula and Eric Toshalis, Understanding Youth. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)