Main House ti

1. *Waves at the five people reading!*
Welcome back! This is Part C of chapter 17.
So last time stuff happened. Mostly with spares. So I bet you’re wondering what’s going on in the main house. Well, wonder no
more. This update promises to be chock full of main house shenanigans.
Warning, Archie is in this chapter. Which if you don’t know, means that there is going to be more swearing than a Quentin
Tarantino movie. There is also frank talk about sex. You’ve been warned.
So let’s get started.

2. It’s a typical day in the neighborhood…

3. Complete with typical inappropriate visitor actions.
“Why don’t you get a room? Preferably not mine.”

4. “Look, I know I’m still a kid but can you keep the PDA down a bit? It’s embarrassing. I promise to grow up as fast as I can so just
keep it in your pants for now.”
“I’ll try.”

5. He didn’t try very hard.

6. Sigh, just a typical day…
I have know that bars are magnets to uncontrollable sims but I didn’t sell it in time before Lebanon pounced on it. Sigh, someone
call her to dinner before she starves. Her portrait looks like the color of tang.

7. *crickets chirp*

8. “So did you know I woohooed in your bed with my boyfriend?”
“What?!”
“I agree with Mom. What?!”
“It’s not like we could go anywhere else. There were people in the hot tub and Lebanon was sleeping in Dad-doo’s and Mum’s old
bed.”
“Sure, blame it on the bad apple.”
“What was I supposed to do?”

9. “How about not woohoo in my bed? How’s that for starters? If you feel the need to play stick ball with your boyfriend you don’t
do it in my bed.”
“You tell him, Mom!”

10. “What are you, Lebanon, a freaking Greek Chorus?”
“I’m just telling it like it is?”
“And what are you two looking at?”

11. “Oh nothing. Just someone doing their exorcist impression.”

12. “So Mom, after you finish your dinner how about you help me with my homework?”
“Can’t out of commands for the day.”

13. “So you’re just going to stand there and cackle?”
“Pretty much.”
“Fine, I’ll see if someone will do my homework for me.”
“You do that.”

14. “Hey, Lark? You think I could get a vacation here? This house is a little nuts.”
Nope.
“Fine, I’m going to bed.”
Good luck with that.

15. “Damn you, Lark! Orkney!”

16. “A world of cheeses! Deliciously made by you and me…”

17. “Damn it Orkney stop singing about cheese and come help me!”

18. “Men! So oblivious!”

19. “Orkney get your kilted ass out here or there will be no woohoo for a week!”

20. “I’m coming, Miss Fuzzy!”

21. “I’m coming!”
“What took you so long? I’m about to pop!”
“Sorry. You know how I like to take long showers after work. What do you want me to do?”
“Stand there and panic.”

22. “Will do, Miss Fuzzy! Spin and twirl! Spin and twirl.”
“Alright, alright, hold your horses!”

23. “Oh my stars it’s a baby!”
“So observant, and it’s a girl too.”

24. “Awww. My X chromosome is strong. What are we going to name her, narf!”
“Orkney!”
“Sorry. Habit. So name?”
“I was thinking something homey after my favorite country in the whole wide world. Something strong. Something patriotic.”
“And what’s that?”
“The United States of America.”

25. “America! Fuck yeah!”
“No swearing around the baby.”
“Sorry. I’ve just been waiting so long to say that.”
“You mean the director person has.”
“That too.”

26. “Here, hold your daughter.”
“Awww, come to Daddy, U.S.A.!”
“How about we call her Meri.”
“That works. So why’d you want me to hold her?”

27. “So I could finally get some sleep!”
~*~

28. If you didn’t know already, Maia’s mean. She’ll cheat you before you even have any pieces on the board.

29. And I think Palau is a little suspicious because of that.

30. “Palau! Come down here, there’s something I’d like to talk to you about.”

31. “Yes, Daddy?”
“Take a seat.”

32. “I’m not in trouble am I? Because Liberia is totally the one who broke the bathtub, not me.”
“This isn’t about the bathtub. There’s someone I want you to meet.”
“Who?”

33. “Speak of the devil and he shall appear.”
“Holy crap!”

34. “Hey, Orkney. How’s it hanging!”
“Thanks for coming, narf!”
“Is that your heiress?”

35. “Yep! This is Palau. Palau this is BlueBerry Pie.”
“Nice to meet you. But I’m a little confused.”

36. “Don’t be, little lady. Your dad wanted you to meet me before the wedding day.”
“Wedding day? Whose wedding day?”
“Yours and mine, little lady. I’m the only male simself in Belladonna Cove that means whoever was chosen to be heiress is going to
be my bride.”

37. “Bride? Daddy?”

38. “Palau—”
“Let me handle this, Orkney. It’s pretty simple. As the heiress in an OWBC with simself Mania you have to marry a simself. And
since you aren’t bisexual or gay, that means you’ve got one choice. Me. So here I am! Aren’t you lucky?”

39. “I don’t know how you expect me to answer that. I just met you and I’m not really into the whole arranged marriage thing.”

40. “Not into? Pfft. What kind of naïve kind of girl are you? All sim marriages are arranged ones. At least you know who you’re
going to marry not be reliant on some random well drop.”
“But—”
“No buts. Grow up and get used to it.”

41. “Egad! Pie, that’s enough. Go easy on her, narf!”

42. “I’m not listening to this.”
“Palau…”
“You don’t have to listen, little lady. But you do have to accept. And the sooner you do, the happier you’ll be.”

43. “Look, I think you should go, narf. You’ve said enough, I think. I’ll take care of this. Poit!”
“Goodnight, Orkney, it was good seeing you.”
“Egad! Goodbye!”

45. “I won’t marry him, Daddy! I won’t.”
“You have to, Palau.”
“No, I don’t! I refuse.”
“It’s in the rules.”

46. “Then change them. You’re the heir! I don’t want to marry that arrogant asshole!”
“Palau, language!”
“Fine! I still don’t want to marry him. I want to marry someone I love whenever I find him if I have to get married at all.”

47. “You have to get married, Palau. And you have to marry BlueBerry Pie. I didn’t make the rules, Palau. And at times like this, I
don’t like them very much either, but unless the director-person says otherwise we have to follow them.”

48. “So talk to the director-person, change her mind.”
“It isn’t going to happen and I’ve tried already. She’s even closed her borders so no more simselves can come in.”
“Why does she hate us so much?”

49. “I don’t think she hates us. But, Pie is right, most sim marriages are arranged.”

50. “But what about my wants? What if I fall in love?”

51. “You’ll think of something, Palau. You have to follow the rules. But nothing says that there aren’t a few loopholes.”
“Loopholes, huh.”
“Yep, loopholes.”
“Could you maybe give me more of a hint than that?”

52. “I’m sorry, baby, I’m so very sorry. I’m afraid I’ve said too much already. But remember, your mom and I will be here for you as
long as we can and we’ll support you in whatever you decide.”
“Thanks, Daddy.”
~*~

53. “Hey thanks for coming over, Quinn!”
“Thanks for having me!”
“So how are you settling in?”
“What kind of question is that, Latvia? He’s been here since he’s a kid.”
“Lebanon!”
“It’s okay,” Quinn soothed. “We weren’t in the same class, easy mistake to make. I like it here for the most part.”

54. “For the most part? Is there something you don’t like?”
Quinn got really quiet.
“I don’t think he wants to answer that, Lebanon,” Israel piped up.
“It’s not anyone at school is it?” Lebanon pressed, ignoring her uncle.

55. “No, it’s not anyone at school.”
“Oh,” Latvia interjected. “I thought that you might join the ‘I hate the math teacher club’ most of the kids don’t like Mr. Green
because he pushes them around.”
“Nah, I don’t have any problems with Mr. Green. It’s just can we talk about something else?”

56. “Sure, like what?”
“I don’t know.”
Palau stepped in. “So what do your parents do? We see you getting dropped off in the limo all the time.”
“It’s just my mom and she’s a movie star.”
“A movie star?” Lebanon scoffed around a mouthful of food. “Pull the other one.”

57. “No, really, she is! She’s the star of the Dusk movies, Eden Devereaux.”
“Really?”
“Yeah really. She has to go to premieres all over wearing fancy clothes and jewelry. Sometimes Erin and I go with her.”
“That’s cool.”
“It’s actually kind of boring. People all say the same things and the press is really pushy. I don’t like it. Erin’s better at it than I
am.”

58. “Not to mention she looks better in a dress than you do,” Palau teased with a smile.
“Yeah, could you imagine me in a dress? All pink and frilly? No thanks.”
“So you’re not going to the prom then? Cool. I’m skipping it.”
“I haven’t made up my mind on that yet. It depends on what happens.”

59. “Like if you get a date?” Lebanon asked.
“That and other things,” Quinn answered.

60. “So speaking of dates,” Latvia asked nervously. “Want to go to a movie with me?”

61. “Oh wow, that’s sudden.”
“Well, it’s not like I could ask Mr. Fitzhugh out.”
Quinn flinched.
“So do you want to go?” Latvia pressed.

62. “Not if it’s a date.”
“What?”
“Look, I hate to do this, I really do, but I don’t like you that way.”
“But…”

63. “Trust me when I say it isn’t you. Cause it isn’t.”
“Then who is it.”
“I’m not sure I should say. I haven’t even talked with her about it yet.”
“Why not?”
“It’s complicated. Or maybe it isn’t, but I should talk with her first. You know? Besides, I’m really not the one you want.”

64. “No, but you do bear a certain resemblance.”
Quinn ignored that. “So really, it wouldn’t have worked out because I’m not him.”
“I see your point.”
“Good. So maybe we can get a group together and do something some time. Like maybe after Prom?”

65. “Sounds good. You know Quinn, you really take the award for best let down.”

66. “Sorry. It’s an award I didn’t really want to win. So you think we can be friends?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“Great, now if you don’t mind, I’m going to go listen to some Adele music and cry into my pillow.”
“Um, sorry about that.”
“It’s all good.”

67. “Hey, Uncle Izzy, can I join you?”
“It’s an empty couch.”
“Thanks.”

68. “So, you’re skipping the prom?”
“I don’t really see the point.”
“What happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”

69. “Fine, be that way.”
“Where are you going?”
“Some place where people aren’t sulking.”
“I’m not sulking.”
“Sure feels like it.”
~*~

70. The next day, Palau cut class to prove to herself that she did have choices in her life. She was going to do something she’d
wanted to do for years, get a tattoo, and nothing was going to stop her. She’d gotten the name of a tattoo parlor that would do
work on minors without parental permission for a price from one of the bad kids sitting in the back of the class for the price of a
pilfered excuse slip. After lunch, when everyone was lethargic anyway, she slipped out of school and took a cab to the not so good
area of town. The place looked seedy and desperate, perfect for her needs so long as the parlor had a halfway decent artist.

71. Ever since she was little, she'd loved watching and feeding the Koi in the pond her grandfather brought home from his job. She
loved those fish. They came when she called and they seemed to have a personalities and they always appreciated her presence.
So she wanted a tattoo of a Koi. But it couldn't be too big, not like the ones she had planned for when she went to college, but
enough to make her remember that even if no one else noticed her, that there was always something that appreciated her being
around. Something she chose for herself.

72. She walked into the tattoo joint and let her eyes adjust to the dim, smoky interior. A heavily tattooed man was working an oddly
hot man in one chair, while another just as inked man stood at the counter.
It was this second man who addressed her. "Whatcha doin' here, little girl? Bathrooms are for employees only."

73. Palau rolled her eyes. "Like I'd want to use it anyway. I'm here for a tattoo."

74. The man squinted at her. "Got money?"
"Yes."
"Going to cost extra, you know."

75. "I know. I'd like to get started now, I kind of want to be home before someone realizes that I didn't come home from school with
the rest of my sisters."

76. The man at the counter grunted. "Not a lot of time then. So what do you want, I suppose a rose or a unicorn."

77. "Oh hell no, that shit's for wannabe sorority chicks who think getting a tattoo is the hip thing to do. That shit ain't for me, I
want something that means something to me."
"And that is?"

78. Palau dug around in her pocket and pulled out a few slips of lined notebook paper. She showed the man her koi design. "I want
this. It needs to be small enough for me to hide so no messing up? You think you're able to do that?"
The man looked and nodded. "In my sleep, little girl. So where do you want 'em?"
“Wrist for now," she replied promptly.

79. "Can do. By the way, name's Jack the guy working over there is Buck.“
“And I’m Archie,” the oddly hot man said getting up from the chair and walking over to see what was going on.
"Nice to meet you all. I'm Palau and can we get started please?“
“Sure, but you might want to have Buck do yours, he did mine,” Jack said motioning to his own ink. “He’s better with animals. I’m
more of a tribal kind of guy.”
“Sounds good.”

80. “Hold it,” Archie interrupted.
“What?” Palau asked.
"How's your pain tolerance?" he asked.
"I don't cry when I stub my toe," she said flatly.

81. Archie smirked. "Good. Because this is going to hurt, Jailbait."
"Duh, both of my parents have tattoos," she snapped back, disliking his new nickname for her.
He ignored her tone and continued, “You want to hold my hand while they do you? It'll help."
Confused, Palau regarded him. "Why are you offering to help me?"

82. "I hate to see girls cry, Jailbait. Old, young, in-between, chicks crying is the one thing I hate most in this world. Other than my
great-uncle, but we aren't going into that. So no crying and you get to hold my hand, Jailbait, something some women would kill to
do."
“I think I’ll pass,” Palau said drily. “Thanks for the offer but I think I can handle it.”
The man behind the counter laughed. “The kid shot you down, stud. You must be losing your touch.”

83. “Shut the fuck up, Jack, unless you want eat the rest of your meals through a straw.”
Buck whistled from by one of the chairs. “Calm down, Vetinari. He can’t renew your tattoos if he’s having to pick up his teeth
from the floor.”
Archie grumbled.

84. “I know you weren’t hitting on me, Archie,” Palau said quietly.
“Damn right I wasn’t. You are currently in the unfuckable column along with family and dead. I don’t do jailbait, Jailbait.”
“Don’t call me, Jailbait.”
“I won’t when you aren’t.”
Palau rolled her eyes. “Like I’d want you to do me.”
“Girl, I’m Archie ‘Fucking’ Vetinari,” he said like it explained everything.

85. “Whatever.”
“So are you ready to go through with this? I don’t know if they told you this, Jailbait, but tattoos are permanent.”
“Yeah, I kind of knew that already. I may be young, but I’m not stupid. Are you sure you’re not just trying to scare me off?
Because you can stop right now. I know what the fuck I want and no one, not you or my parents or that fucktard I have to marry
someday is going to talk me out of it.”

86. “That’s the spirit, Jailbait! Damn the man and if they don’t like it, kick them in the nads!”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”

87. “So you’re supposed to get married?”
“Yeah, I’m not looking forward to it.”
“I don’t blame you. I don’t do marriage.”
Palau sighed and looked down at her hands. “I wish I didn’t have to. I’d much rather stay single than have to marry the fucktard.
But I’ve got to follow the rules.”
“Rules are meant to be broken,” Archie said with a shrug.
“Tell that to the director-person?”

88. “She the redhead who’s in charge of this mini-verse?”
“Yeah.”
“Good in bed. A little clingy but she’s a Family sim, they all suffer from that complaint. But what can you do, she’s a simself and
simselves are meant for Archie loving.”
“You’re really full of yourself, aren’t you?”
“It ain’t bragging if it’s true.”

89. “Yeah, well I wouldn’t know now would I?”
“Hey, I don’t do jailbait. If you want some Archie loving, you can look me up when you’re legal.”

90. “Are you sure I can’t tempt you now?”
“What in the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
“What do you think I’m doing?” A playful smirk danced across Palau’s lips. This was fun. She wasn’t interested in Archie in that
way, he was old but he didn’t have to know that.
“I’m thinking you’d better stop.”

91. “Why? Did you really think I was going to get a tattoo on my arm while it was still covered? Who’s the stupid one now?”
“So you’re not coming on to me?”

92. “With your ego? Hell no. I was just messing with you. You’re way too old for me.”
“Hey!”
“What, Old Man, can’t handle the truth?”

93. “Don’t call me ‘Old Man.’”
“I’ll stop it when you stop calling me ‘Jailbait.’”
“Deal.”
“Good. Now can we stop talking and start tattooing? I want to get home soon before I get grounded.”

94. “Nice job shooting down Archie there, I about cracked a rib trying not to laugh,” Buck murmured, patting Palau on the head.
“I am not dog. I don’t need pats on the head when I do something good.”

95. “Hey, I was trying to give you a compliment!”
“I know. And I’m glad I could entertain you, but that’s not why I’m here. So can we get on with it?”

96. “Sure whatever you say.”

97. “She’s a spitfire.”
“Fuck off. But, yeah, she is,” Archie said glancing at Palau out of the corner of his eye.

98. The two artists got to work while Archie and Palau chatted about inconsequential things: like dogs, simselves, and people who
suck. It was an unsurprisingly long list. But it kept Palau’s mind off of the pain and the problems her family faced.

99. When Buck was done, Archie came over to inspect the new tattoo. It was red and inflamed but the fish was clearly visible.
“Not bad, Jailbait. A little girly for me, but it doesn’t suck.”
Taking it for the compliment it was meant to be, Palau said, “Thanks. It’s my own design. I want to save up for the big stuff later,
but for now. I needed something to remind me that I’m in control of my life no matter what the rules say.”

100. “I still say rules are meant to be broken.”
“I wish I knew how to break this one.”
Archie snorted. “You’ll think of something, Jailbait! And when you do, remember Ol’ Archie when you need a good fucking or ass
kicking.”

101. “I’ll keep it in mind, Old Man.”
~*~

102. From asserting independence to an altogether different sort of independence. I speak of a birthday, of course. Specifically
United States of America’s birthday.

103. United States of America, aka Meri, she’s a Capricorn 7/6/2/5/6 and funky cheeks aside is an interesting mix of her parents.
She also amused me greatly by aging up into a red, white, and blue outfit. Go Meri!

104. “She’s mine right?”
Not so much, although amusingly Meri here has the best relationship with her Uncle Israel than either of her parents or siblings.

105. It might have something to do with the fact that he’s the one who taught her most of her skills.

106. The day after Meri’s birthday it was time for Romania to age up. I didn’t get many pictures of the party itself since I spent
much of it keeping Orkney out of bed with a few certain sims who shall remain nameless.

107. Romania ages up well and into pants that are better suited to Palau.

108. A quick clothing change later and the newly minted Popularity/Family sim descends on the boy of her choice, Charles Morgan.
While her older sister tries reenacting the Police song of “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” with Spencer Fitzhugh.

109. And we have flirt sign.

110. Then, of course, it was time to gossip about how Oman cheated on Cee with Marina. Because that bit of gossip will never die.

111. SimAng and Eden despite being friendzoned were unable to keep themselves away from my heir. Friendzone may stop ACR driven
actions, but it doesn’t stop the big giant Make Out that Maxis coding has in SimAng’s queue. So just keep on stalking SimAng,
keep on stalking. And I’ll make sure Orkney is chained to something for the rest of the party. I do not need any unauthorized
shenanigans right now thank you. I’d like to get to my college chapters sometime this year.

112. Ethan Familiar, Israel’s steady boyfriend, decided that it’d be a good idea to ventrilofart Spencer Fitzhugh.

113. “He poked me!”
“Dude, I love you, but what did you expect when you did that to a mean sim?”
“You’re mean.”
“And I’m also playful and in love with you, he’s not.”
“Sniff… He’s not going to attack me right?”
“Not while you’re a teenager so you’re safe. But I’d keep away from him for the foreseeable future.”
Ahhh, I love sim parties.

114. I also love it when my heir fetches back Chicken Boo afterwards.

115. The next day the usual number of teens followed people home, including Henry Austen who promptly went after Palau.
“My dear woman, pray allow me to sing your praises!”
“Um sure, but aren’t you kind of seeing my sister?”
“Fair Lebanon and I have an agreement, what she does not know will not upset her.”
“That doesn’t sound like my sister but okay. I’m kind of not in the mood to care.”
“What are you in the mood for, my dear woman?”

116. Palau showed him.

117. “So, that was kind of not awesome,” Palau said.
“I wouldn’t know, it was my first time,” Henry protested.
“Mine too. But I’m pretty sure that the tab is supposed to go in the slot not splurt all over outside of it.”
Henry looked embarrassed. “I am sorry about the mess. Next time I will do better, I swear. Give me five minutes.”

118. “Henry, there’s not going to be a next time. Not in five minutes not ever. This was a mistake. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to let it
happen again.”
“I understand. I hope we can be friends.”

119. “I’m not so sure about that. It’d be awkward and weird. I don’t like awkward and weird. Look, you’d better go. My parents will
be home soon and I’ve got laundry to do before they get here.”
“Palau…”
“Just go. We’ll see each other around, eventually.”
“Goodbye.”
~*~

120. And that’s where I’m going to end it. Here’s my proof of painting everyone in the main house for the family scrapbook challenge.
Thanks go out to the following people for the use of their sims/simselves – BlueBerryPie360, Peasant007, DocSupremeNerd,
Fireflower314, SmoothieQueen, RegacyLady, FuzzySpork, Ndainye, and anyone else I’m forgetting.
Special thanks to Peasant007 and DocSupremeNerd who I bounce ideas and scenes off of. They get horribly spoiled all the time
and I am sorry about that.

121. So that wraps up another chapter overall, I am so close to college I can taste it.
So until next time, Happy simming!