1. Broken Pieces
of
My Mind
Kurt Johannes “Kokoy” B. Lucena
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2. “Opinions – how do they love their opinions! They
imagine their every little opinion is a big idea”
Tom Ferril
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
First of all, I really thank the Lord Jesus Christ for the capacity and inspiration he has given for
me to write essays and poems. If there is one thing this writer wants to accomplish in this endeavor, it is
that he will be glorified.
Then, this work is lovingly dedicated to my family, Papa, Mama, Baget, Karess and Kodon. I am
just so grateful to the Lord for the respect, support, and inspiration they have given me. Writing is, I
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3. realize, a tough job. It seems so easy when you’re not the one doing it but when you do try, you should
get all the encouragements you can possibly have. Otherwise, you cannot complete a piece. And
fortunately, I have these buddies to keep me pushing.
My mentors Ms. Nancy Diosanta-Sarcos and Ms. Leah Mandafe have been instrumental in
developing my capacity as an aspiring writer. They believed in me, inspired me, and that’s enough for
me to go on.
My friends Rhesa Lehao, Marichris Alferes-Belleza, Donabelle Caballero-Concon, Joy Sampiano,
and Maileen dela Gente encouraged me. They were the first to read the draft of some of the pieces and
they provided good reviews about them. (Though all errors present are the sole responsibility of the
writer).
My Uncle Reuel Lucena who keeps on encouraging me to be the best I can be (he seems to
overestimate my intelligence), thank you so much. Also, Rowelyn Lucena and Eunice Ultiano are two of
my brainy cousins. Their approving comments regarding these pieces were encouraging.
Finally, this work will never come into existence without the love, patience, encouragement and
support of my loving wife, Mars. She is just so kind to me and my work. I thank the Lord for giving me a
godly wife as she is. She is truly a gift from Him.
These people had the guts to believe in me when very few do. My sincere appreciation and
thanks to all of you guys.
INTRODUCTION
I think one of the “problems” of a writer is his deep need to share his opinion on different
issues, be it in religion, politics, arts, sciences and others. Depending on the range of his interests, he can
have a word for almost anything. He might not have all the facts in place (essays are more on opinion
than facts) but there is something in him that will prompt him to express his viewpoints on various
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4. topics. Otherwise, he can’t have a good night sleep. My guess is that this goes back to the basic need of
every human being to share himself to others.
The other trouble, I think, is his desire to play with words. I don’t know why but, I observe, he
finds joy whenever he can express his thoughts in a manner that has an element of combining different
words that put together, will sound dramatic, smart and stylish. Yes, he will look for ordinary and simple
words, understandable to ordinary men but he will try to arrange them in such a way that sentences will
have a touch of artistic and stylistic brilliance. He may not achieve that most of the time, but that’s one
of his goals.
I look into myself and I’m afraid these two symptoms are present.
So, here it is now. What follows is a collection of essays and poems I have written on various
subjects. There’s just come a time when a flash of insight will suddenly dawn on us and urges us to put it
into writing. This does not happen always. For me, it’s very seldom. But when it does, I don’t know, but
it seems that the spirit of an Alexander Pope or a Malcolm Muggeridge enters you. They call that
inspiration. Even the best authors cannot explain it. A writer by the name of Archibald McLeish
expressed this phenomenon when he wrote these words:
What is this borderland of dream and logic, of fantasy and reason, where the roots and tentacles of mind
and personality float and adrift into the sudden shaping of a flash resulting in a scheme, a form, a design,
an invention, a machine, an image, a song, a symphony, a drama, a poem? There are those who believe
they know – and those who hope they may yet know.
And then, you begin to write essays that have no effect in whatever form to the subject you’re
writing about. You write something about religion, philosophy and politics; and religion, philosophy and
politics will still be the same. Worse, after you read them twice or thrice, they begin to look bad; really
bad, you’d wonder why you ever revealed your deepest thoughts in the first place. But as some would
say, a writer must risk appearing fool, if only to express himself and to provoke other people to think.
This has been the case with the writer Simone Weil. Considered to be the most perceptive and poetic
thinker/author, Weil’s writings were thought-provoking, one of her objectives is to let her reader ponder
if what she’s saying was right or wrong.
These articles are short essays that expressed my views on issues that touched me. It is my
prayer that you will have the grace not to laugh out loud and the patience to bear with me, as these
pieces will attempt to find a place in your heart and mind. One could only hope that after you read them
once, you will not throw them all away.
The Beauty of a Tested Relationship
A remarkable man by the name of C.S. Lewis has been admired and adored by Christians
and non-Christians alike. The depth and knowledge and wisdom of this Oxford Professor has
been superb, few could equal. His books such as Mere Christianity, The Problem of Evil and A
Grief Observed have been very stimulating, the insights and messages they provide are quoted
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5. in numerous books and they really help Christians, especially thinking Christians who have
intellectual struggle over their faith. You wonder, why can he speak intimately to people? Why
are his words so compelling that powerful and intelligent people such as Charles Colson, adviser
of the then U.S. President Richard Nixon, was moved and surrendered his life to Christ? I
surmise, it is because of the pain and suffering he went through, even when he was a child.
As I made some readings about the life of this great man, one scene in his life struck me.
It was when he prayed for his mother who was ill. At that time, his faith in God was still
wavering, from really believing in Him to doubting Him also. Then, his mother got sick. She was
seriously ill that it seems she’s going to die. This really hurt Lewis. Just like any child, he had
somewhat a vague concept about God and one of these concepts is that when you pray “with
all your heart” to this God, He will answer you and grant your request. He prayed to this God
with all his heart, earnestly begging that her mother be healed and be well. His mother died.
Lewis’ faith was intensely shaken by this event, and he doubted God.
Another incident. It was only late in life that Lewis fell in love. To a divorcee by the name
of Joy Davidman. He really loves the woman until she was diagnosed to have cancer. Needless
to say, he prayed to God for Joy to be healed. His loving wife died. They have given a limited
time to enjoy the blessings of marriage. This event prompted him to write the book A Grief
Observed with the following powerful words:
When you are happy, so happy you have no sense of needing Him, so happy that
you are tempted to feel His claims upon you as an interruption, if you remember
yourself and turn to Him with gratitude and praise, you will be — or so it feels—
welcomed with open arms. But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all
other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a
sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence.
C.S. Lewis speaks to people who are deeply wounded and have a serious emotional and
intellectual struggle in their faith because he too once experienced these searing pains and
obstacles to belief. He experienced the time when “God seems so far away, a million miles or
more from yesterday”. His painful experiences and rational mind have trouble believing in a
loving and All-powerful God, who hides Himself. He can’t figure out that this is the kind of God
we must worship. Let me quote him again:
Not that I am (I think) in much danger of ceasing to believe in God. The real
danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about Him. The conclusion I
dread is not 'So there's no God after all,' but 'So this is what God's really like.
Deceive yourself no longer.
Many people admire Lewis because of his candor and forthrightness in arguing the case
for Christianity. He did not sugarcoat it. He did not promise that this religion will comfort you in
times of distress (although it can and it did). He did not hide its hypocrisy and weak points. He
did not make it appealing by asking less from people who believe it. Instead, he even
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6. somewhat, makes it so demanding by stating that either you chose Jesus as God or nothing
else. Again, listen to his words:
A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not
be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic – on the level with the
man who says he is a poached egg – or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You
can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you
can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any
patronizing nonsense about His being great human teacher. He has not left that
open to us. He did not intend to.
No options for being neutral or half-hearted. An either/or option, not a both/and. He
reflects reality. He has shown the truth of this religion, doesn’t hide its grounds for objections
but meet them head on. This brave guy has been truly one of the champions of Christianity. He
represents the hurting and thinking man who doesn’t readily believe because of the creeds but
because it has withstood the test of rigorous scrutiny.
Because of this, his relationship with God is honest, sincere and candid. In short, its
authentic. It has been tested and proven. We would rather listen to men like Lewis than to
people who have a minimal experience with pain and doubt. The latter might be comfortable
people but might be shallow also, while the former are scarred but real, beautiful people.
NEXT
One of the interesting Hollywood movies that I have seen was the film entitled Next. In
the story, the lead actor, Nicholas Cage, knew what will happen next. Thereby, he can
anticipate what will transpire and plan what’s the best thing to do. Seeing what will happen
from a distance, he can avert disasters from falling on him and his loved ones. I wonder, how
wonderful it would be if we could have that same power. But one of the greatest lessons I have
learned about life is that, you’ll never know what’s next.
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7. I have seen this happening in the life of every man, both great and ordinary events of
life. For example, in your career, you’ve been doing well in your job, you made it to the regular
employee, you get promoted and you’re very excited about these series of breaks. And all of a
sudden, the funding agency decided to disengage. The company declares bankruptcy.
Downsizing and streamlining and restructuring have become the big words your employer
embraced and boom! You’re out. You become a contributor to the statistics of the number of
people unemployed. Great contribution. Talk of job security!
A young girl is dating her man for quite a while. They’re compatible, seem cut out for
each other. They love each other and they’re planning to get married soon. Suddenly, the girl
finds herself marrying to another guy. How romantic!
Some rising stars in the entertainment world would pop up, very promising. You think,
they will become the next box-office king and queen and prince and princess. Suddenly, road
accidents and illness took their lives. Others simply fade away. Fernando Poe, Jr. was a man of
success. He was idolized by the masses, loved by his wife and children and a very talented
actor, an action superstar and film-maker unsurpassed that earned him the title “The King” of
Philippine Cinema. Yet, his end was tragic; he died as a hurting man, defeated in a race to
become President.
Same is true for the young actor Rico Yan. Who would have thought that he’ll die
young? He’s vibrant and full of life. He has all the things men envied for: good looks,
intelligence, wealth, talent and attitude. Many people really admire the guy. Yet, suddenly and
mysteriously, in one joyous but fateful night, he’s gone. As all of us will.
You can observe that in all walks of life, be it in sports, politics, religion, business, etc.
World champion Ricky Hatton turning to drugs, excellent political strategists President Nixon
and President Estrada lying and cheating their respective country, eloquent preacher Jimmy
Swaggart giving in to the lust of the flesh, the smart guys in Enron Company committing
scandalous financial management; these are just examples of a shocking and surprising event,
you think will not happen. Very promising personalities and institutions making a name for
themselves, and after a while, making some stupid decisions, the observers will just sigh “Who
would have thought?”
As the saying goes “Man proposes but God disposes”. It is only God, the Omniscient
One, that sees everything, even at the vantage point of eternity. We plan, we work and try to
anticipate and analyze situations and base our decisions on something rational and valid but in
the end, the results are up to God. Hollywood Superstars can’t figure out what’s next in the
eternal realm.
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8. Gods don’t bleed
The story of the gods and goddesses, even how ancient, still fascinates us. Supernatural
powers and battles and wars and warriors and kings and kingdoms in the ancient world are very
interesting and enduring, they are still taught in our days of borderless world in the Internet.
And the children and youth loved them. It just shows the longings of the human heart to reach
to something transcendent.
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9. As I observe, love and war are the recurring themes of these myths. Yet, while love is
the most powerful force, it conquers all, war seems to dominate that world then. Kingdoms and
empires rising, and kingdoms and empires falling, because of war, was the norm. It’s just so
dominant and forceful, many thought only the gods can really play a significant part on it.
Achilles and Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar, the war commanders, were thought to be
gods. And what about the famous Battle of Thermopylae where King Leonidas made an awe-
inspiring final stand with his 300 Spartans - believed they were descended from the gods -
against the thousands of the Greeks? In all this bloody setting, one intriguing phrase stood up
and it’s this: that gods don’t bleed.
The “gods-don’t-bleed” concept seemed inculcated in the minds of the kings and
warriors then that when you see some movies, such as 300 and The Road to El Dorado, it’s
there. In the cartoon movie The Road to El Dorado, the partner Tulio and Miguel, with their
ambition to get rich, decided to have an adventure to a place called El Dorado, rumored to be a
City stacked with gold. They, in the grand scheme of things, reached it but the people thought
they were the long awaited gods destined to live among them, as what is written in the
prophecy. They were tricksters and because of their ambition, they decided to play with the
crowd. Daily activities revealed their humanity but they work hard to cover it up. As days went
by, suspicions grew stronger and finally, the priest confirmed that indeed, they are not gods
because he has seen one of them bleed.
In the movie 300, King Leonidas of Sparta, in the final battle, threw a spear to the face of
Xerxes, the antagonist, and it hit his cheek, causing blood to drip. This bold act was taken by the
King to prove that gods do bleed.
But in Christianity, its God do and did bleed. Jesus Christ, the God of the very God, Lord
of the lords, shed his precious blood in the ancient city of Golgotha. In fact, were it not for it,
the believers of this religion are nobody but condemn sinners. While those gods live in the
comfort of their realm, arguing what to do with these weak and powerless mortals, Jesus left
his throne in the heaven and lived among us, the helpless mortals, and die among the helpless
criminals. What an astonishing counter-perspective! While the gods don’t want to shed their
blood to feeble human beings, he, as the Lamb of God, invited men to drink his blood and eat
his flesh. No one and nothing can wash the sin of humanity except the blood of the Lamb.
Let me end this reflection by a beautiful poem about Christ, written by a poet name
Edward Shihillito, that I’ve used as part of the opening verses in my other book:
The other gods were strong; but Thou wast weak;
They rode, but Thou didst stumble to a throne;
But to our wounds only God’s wounds can speak,
And not a god has wounds but Thou alone.
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10. REMEMBER GRACE?
I love outdated, “big” words. Words like justice, honor, truth, love, courage have a special
appeal to me. They bring me back to a time when men were respectable, gentlemen and honorable. In
short, a time when character was king. And I think, they had the time of their life, way back then.
But when I think of “Grace”, I wonder if there are any more words which had created a more
lasting and deeper impact to my life. For us Christians, this is the starting point of everything. Even the
“Christian Faith” is the result of grace; that leads to what we call “Salvation” – another big and old-
fashioned word.
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11. Grace is like an alarm clock (weird?) that wakes you up to your real condition: that you are not
the omnipotent, self-sufficient hotshot you think you are; that you need God and other people; that
there’s nothing you can do to merit His favor; and that, you will finally cry out “Help!” because of a
sense of helplessness you feel over your sinful and miserable condition. Sounds churchy? Perhaps, but
let me add this: that Grace is not worldly. The world can only offer justice but not grace. Its only the
Church, and with it Christians, who can dispense grace. They’re the only people who have tasted it. And
it brought seismic change in their lives – into their relationships and worldviews.
Every Christian always feels that he is the one who wrote the immortal lines of John Newton’s
“Amazing Grace”. Down through the century, the music lives on. What a wonderful sound! How sweet it
is! You can never forget that.
A VERY SPECIAL DAY
Holy Communion is a very special day for me. I just get emotional during the time, my eyes will
simply moisten. I think for sinners like me, few occasions could be more touching. For once, we feel
special during this day.
It never fails to remind me of Christ’s death at the cross of Calvary; the shedding of his precious
blood. Oh, that blood that washed away the sin of the world. The suffering and shame he endured that
no one of his disciples can bear, they ran away and hide like little puppies cowering in fear. He went into
such great length for people like me. And, as it is said, who can truly adore that love!
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12. People like me would never expect to receive such love. It’s just in our fantasy. But when this
fantasy of all fantasies became a reality, in the person of Christ, walls of indifference and coldness
shattered like glass, penetrating the deepest recesses of the soul and with His pierced hand, touch it and
it comes alive, touching other souls.
There would be a lot of theological explanation of this word or event but for me, it’s not a
communion of saints but a communion of sinners, sharing together the mercy and love of Jesus
bestowed on them, acknowledging their sins and how Christ fully embraced them.
It’s our day; not theirs.
Truth holding hands with Humility
There is something strange that happens when a man finds the Truth. While many
became humble, others became arrogant, looking down on those who did not find him, at the
social outcast of society, as unclean, dumb, immoral, you should never have contact with. A
totally, diametrically opposed to what the Truth, Himself, has showed. No wonder the Church
has little influence over society. We have always a way of misrepresenting our deeply held
beliefs.
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13. What is in Jesus, the Truth, and the holiest person ever to set foot on this planet that
sinners, the worst of them, the vilest offenders, rejected by almost everybody, want to be with
him? Tax collectors – the traitors, thieves, drunkards, prostitutes, name the lawbreakers and
they are in the company of Christ. And they seem very comfortable with him. Very at home in
his presence.
Another scene. Let’s consider the decent, moral, respectable men that day. Lawyers,
Priests, Statesmen. The Pros. Try to look at them with him. They’re uneasy when they were in
his watch. And when they challenge him into a debate, they found themselves debating with
the truth. And any man would know that if that’s your position, you are in the losing side. No
way out but defeat. Meek and humble, you fall into a trap of smashing, pounding, and
destroying him only to find out that actually, you’re the one who is being attacked with
defenses down. No victory but hypocrisy laid bare. A losing battle.
Someone said that Pontius Pilate asked a potentially explosive question to Jesus, “What
is the truth?” but too proud to stay for an answer. He got no balls for it and instead, delivered
him to the crowd that wants Jesus’ death. That crowd might be described as an assembly of
fools, blinded by lies, chained by falsehood, shackled by their own hypocrisy, marching to their
death. While we see the face of that crowd as very irritating, full of anger and devilish, Jesus
saw in that crowd a face confused and lost, wanting help, compassion and love. Seeing it in the
lens of grace, he forgave. Totally irrational.
If we could just get a portion of His life lived in truth and humility and radiate that in our
lives also! That as Christians, those two virtues – truth and humility – are our shining mark. We
might shock the world.
If we see every human being as God sees us, wanting forgiveness and love, the
popularity rating of Gandhi’s famous line “I like their Christ but I don’t like their Christians”
might not be that high. Just like Jesus, one life lived in truth and humility, could transform more
people than truth in arrogance.
GUYS FROM THE LAST ROW
You always wonder at the eccentricity of the ways of God. I mean, He never fails to
humble us in our human attempt to generally improve society or even serve Him. While we are
complacent that we have given our best shot, made the right choice, the right decision, in one
situation, we realize the stupidity of that choice.
Take for example the kind of men God uses in his plans. The Perfect One, we would
assume, would naturally choose the extremely intelligent, highly sophisticated, decent and
refined men to execute them; someone who has that dazzling brilliance to overwhelm people.
Elite. Hotshots. The best of the best.
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14. You will not think of fishermen whose lives revolve around seas, boats, nets, fishes or
farmers with their ploughshares, being included in what would go down in the history as the
band who turned the world upside down. But, he still picks wounded and impossible men. As I
think of the kind of disciples God has chosen, I wonder if there would be any serious biographer
who would be interested to write about the life of just one of them then. And perhaps, not one
of them would ever make it to a Board Member or a deacon in our churches today. Those men
belong to the lowest strata of the social ladder. They were guys from the last row. Yet, our Lord
had selected them to be part of the greatest mission the world ever known: rescue mankind
from death.
And you may want to listen to these words:
When God wants to drill a man
and thrill a man and skill a man
When God wants to mold a man
to play the noblest part;
When he yearns with all his heart
to create so bold a man
that all the world will be amazed,
Watch his methods, watch his ways:
How he relentlessly perfects
whom he royally elects;
How he hammers us and hurt us
and with mighty blows converts us
into trial shapes of clay
which only God can understand,
While our tortured heart is crying
and we lift beseeching hands.
How God bends, but never breaks
when his good he undertakes;
How he uses whom he chooses
and with every purpose fuses us;
By every act induces us
to try his splendor out--
God knows what he's about!
Truly, the best men of our lives that we’re fortunate enough to get acquainted with are
the men that has been through worst afflictions imaginable; men who went through God’s
“hammering” and “hurting”. They are the kind of men that can empathize and sympathize with
us, the hurting. They’re the broken vessels that God uses to cheer and encourage other people
whose lives had been so dry and dreary.
The world may not recognize them. They might be obscure and unknown. But to God,
they are precious souls, the world is not worthy.
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15. History is His Story
Jesus has been, indeed, the center of history. He changed its course. History has been
defined by him. That one solitary life had truly affected the lives of men, down through the
century, from paupers to princes, in East and in West. The simple and poor boy who was
walking in the alleys of Jerusalem then has brought the world unto his feet. Kings, Emperors,
Conquerors have, in a short span of time, ruled some portion of the world but they, at last, die
like lonely and forgotten men. Alexander, Julius Caesar, Napoleon were once very powerful
men but they’re just now become part of the Test Questioners given to some High School
students. The loud genius, the pride of the West, by the name of Malcolm Muggeridge has
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16. powerfully and eloquently expressed the fleeting nature of almost everything in these
passages:
We look back on history, and what do we see? Empires rising and falling; revolutions
and counter-revolutions succeeding one another; wealth accumulating and wealth
dispersed; one nation dominant and then another. As Shakespeare's King Lear puts it,
“the rise and fall of great ones that ebb and flow with the moon.” In one lifetime I've
seen my fellow countrymen ruling over a quarter of the world, and the great majority of
them convinced – in the words of what is still a favorite song – that God has made them
mighty and will make them mightier yet. I've heard a crazed Austrian announce the
establishment of a German Reich that was to last for a thousand years; an Italian clown
report that the calendar will begin again with his assumption of power; a murderous
Georgian brigand in the Kremlin acclaimed by the intellectual elite as wiser than
Solomon, more enlightened than Ashoka, more humane than Marcus Aurelius. I've seen
America wealthier than all the rest of the world put together; and with the superiority of
weaponry that would have enabled Americans, had they so wished, to outdo an
Alexander or a Julius Caesar in the range and scale of conquest.
Here are events and people that were making history. But what was the end? He goes
on:
All in one little lifetime – gone with the wind: England now part of an island off the coast
of Europe, threatened with further dismemberment; Hitler and Mussolini seen as
buffoons; Stalin a sinister name in the regime he helped to found and dominated totally
for three decades; Americans haunted by fears of running out of the precious fluid that
keeps their motorways roaring and the smog settling, by memories of a disastrous
military campaign in Vietnam, and the windmills of Watergate. Can this really be what life
is about – this worldwide soap opera going on from century to century, from era to era,
as old discarded sets and props litter the earth? Surely not. Was it to provide a location
for so repetitive and ribald a production as this that the universe was created and man,
or homo sapiens as he likes to call himself – heaven knows why – came into existence? I
can't believe it. If this were all, then the cynics, the hedonists, and the suicides are right:
the most we can hope for from life is amusement, gratification of our senses, and death…
This septuagenarian Englishman, a peripatetic journalist crisscrossing the globe whose
words captured the imagination of an imaginative reader had masterfully painted the picture of
humanity in these paragraphs. What seems to be the most-defining moments in our time were
but mere shadows passing by. And those shadows were reminders of how, even the mighty are
fallen. Who would have thought then that Hitler, Mussolini and Stalin will be seen as
“buffoons” and a disgrace to humanity? They were thought to be bearers of the sword that
would cut the shackles of humanity and free it from the bondage of morality. They were
considered sages thought to dispel the old myths of God and religion. This triumvirate is now
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17. cursed by many for they have shattered – and revealed the bankruptcy – the very dreams and
hopes they were trying to inspire: a utopian society, free of God.
Amidst all these confusions and chaos, which is the result of eliminating God in the
equation, stands the gigantic figure of Christ, who conquered the world not through force and
violence but through love and meekness. His counter perspective of things has been enduring,
lasting, it has stood the test of time. In the words of Ravi Zacharias, one of the greatest
Christian apologists of our time, “many men wanted to be God but only this God who was
willing to be a man” has that power to direct our perspective to heavenly, eternal things.
No serious scholar would ever refute the historicity of Jesus, the most compelling
person in it. Our calendar is dated by his name. Many would respect him as a man, a good man
at that, a morally good man. But to us Christians, Jesus is the Eternal God. Time was made by
him. Though he is the object of the mockery by some of the so-called brightest minds of our
time, the name of Christ has been the Rock of all ages, providing hope to people who are
intellectually honest and fair-minded.
There have been wonderful human beings that heaven was gracious enough to lend to
this world. Church fathers, heroes and martyrs, religious and political leaders, have in one way
or another touched our lives and inspired us to be good men. But no other figure across 20
centuries, living or dead, had dramatically changed the lives of men, from all walks of life, than
Jesus. From common laborers to sophisticated businessmen, simple folks to classy elites, rejects
of the earth to the cream of the crop, he has been the great equalizer, everybody can identify
with. This is our kind of Savior who saw and loved us, even before time began.
The Goodness of Reality and the Evil of Fantasy
A French-Jewess by the name of Simone Weil, who is believed to have the most penetrating
intelligence and insight in her time, has perceptively and poetically described the timeless difference
between good and evil, fantasy and reality, in these words:
Nothing is so beautiful, nothing is so continually fresh and surprising, so full of sweet and
perpetual ecstasy, as the good; no desert is so dreary, monotonous, and boring as evil. But with
fantasy, it is the other way around. Fictional good is boring and flat, while fictional evil is varied,
intriguing, attractive, and full of charm.
This timeless dispute has been present in every minute of our lives; two forces, tugging at each
other in opposite direction, trying to outdo and outsmart the other. Each one has to decide which side
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18. will win, with the corresponding consequences. And many of us paid our decisions dearly for the rest of
our lives before these two choices.
But one must have a basis on which to postulate his argument about good and evil. We must
have a law which is our point of reference by which to assume that a particular action is good or evil.
Now, here comes the dilemma for those who don’t believe that truth is absolute and lived in the fantasy
that it is relative, depending on one’s own preference. He can never denounce an act, even contrary to
his preference for any denunciation must have a moral basis. We are indebted to the logic of a man
named Ravi Zacharias regarding these issues for he had masterfully argued that the issue of good and
evil points to a moral law, by which we judge both and that, this will logically lead us to the moral Law-
giver.
T.S. Elliot made an insightful observation about mankind when he concluded that “We, human
beings, cannot bear too much reality”. Thereby, we resort to fantasy. Is Mr. Elliot right? I’m afraid he is
for why is this entertainment industry a multi-billion dollar business? The gods of this age are the
Hollywood stars and rockstars and sports superstars that would temporarily transport us into the world
of fantasy, “attractive and full of charm”. Yet, if you try to examine their lives closely and personally,
these people are also pathetic, most of them dependent on psychological treatment, according to Phillip
Yancey, an award-winning author who made interviews to a lot of them.
The sexy models of men’s magazines might be very “intriguing, attractive, and full of charm”,
many men loved to fantasize to be with them but I have a bad feeling when reality sets in into that
arrangement. When the dream is over and you go back to the daily routines of life, that’s when
goodness is so needed and beautiful.
Mother Theresa would never make it to Hollywood or other forms of entertainment I supposed.
Her life is a rebuke to every single inch of that. But her goodness strikes a chord, even to some of the
loudest cynics of our age like Malcolm Muggeridge. Her work is on the reality of sickness and suffering
and poverty and death but truly, few are more “beautiful, continually fresh and surprising, so full of
sweet and perpetual ecstasy” than Mother Theresa’s work that the cynic gave up and wrote a book
about her and her ministry in Calcutta, where he entitled it “Something Beautiful for God”.
Joseph, my man
One of the young men and best characters of the Old Testament that’s my favorite and I
really admired and stood as one of the greatest examples of fidelity to God is Joseph, son of
Jacob. From the early stage of his life, he was a good boy. As the younger brother, he was
obedient to the requests of his father and older brothers, bringing food and water to them at
their work. But what was the reward? His brothers conspired to kill him. Only because of the
intervention of one of his brothers, by the name of Reuben, was he able to escape from the
jaws of fratricide.
Instead, they threw him into an empty pit and made their father believed that he was
dead, some beast devoured him. And it was not enough. With entrepreneurial skill, Joseph’s
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19. brothers sold him into slavery to Egypt. This must be a truly rewarding experience for someone
who just follows orders from his family!
Now, we know that in the grand plan of God, he ended up being one of the trusted
servants of the Pharaoh’s captain by the name of Potiphar. He trusted Joseph, made him an
overseer of all that he had. Blessings were pouring on him and his master’s house because of
his sake.
Then, as what almost always happens to a young man on the road to success,
temptation made a shot. Joseph, as it was described, was a very handsome and well-built young
man. With that physical stature, combined with good intellect and winsome behavior, he could
really be pretty attractive. Indeed, this personality of Joseph had attracted his master’s wife
that she wanted him to lie with her. This must be a pretty tough challenge for him. He was
alone and I suspect, the Pharaoh’s Captain’s wife is no ordinary woman in town. She could be a
beautiful and sophisticated lady, as you would imagine to a wife of a distinguished man, ahead
of the women in her locality.
With firmness and resolved, Joseph made a decision that made him, for me, a giant in
the Old Testament. Unlike King David, he did not toy with sin. He dealt it in a way it should be
dealt. Amidst all the unfairness he experienced in life, he responded to Potiphar’s wife
seduction and said “how can I do this great wickedness and sin against God”. He loved his God
more than the momentary pleasure this world could offer. And again, what was the result of
this “clinging-to-God-in-spite-of-all” attitude? He ended up in prison because his master
believed the false accusation of his wife that Joseph wanted to lie with her.
In that lonely prison wall, I suspected, Joseph must have figured out tough questions on
God. I would imagine, the soliloquy could go on something like this: God, I am just an ordinary
guy, a home buddy, trying to live this life the way you wanted. I obey my father and brothers in
their requests. I ended up in that lonely empty pit. Now that I obey your commands and lived a
life of purity, I ended up in this dungeon. What am I supposed to do? Why are you hard on me?
That one last question bothered me most. And indeed, as you try to review his life, God
was truly, it seems to me, hard on him. He has all the reasons to question God’s fairness. Yet,
you would not find that in the Bible’s account. His resistance on temptation was still base on his
relationship to God, How can I do this to God? A God that allowed severe trials to come his way.
Now, that’s more than just faith. It’s called fidelity. Even if the evidence seems to points out on
the contrary, or even if there seems to be no reasons left anymore to believe in a loving God
but you still do believe, that’s fidelity.
Joseph goes beyond what is expected of a man. Yes, he was loyal and had convictions.
But these admirable virtues are rooted, not on his own strength and principles but on his
fidelity to the God he loved, How can I do this to God?. My man.
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20. TRUTH: A Hard-Hitting Enemy but A Real Friend
Of all the enemies of mankind, truth is one of the toughest. From Presidents to crooks,
kings to vagabonds, philosophers and preachers to swindlers and drug addicts; all the best and
all the worst of men, they seem to fall down at its feet.
It is unbending, inflexible, pitiless. You can ignore it but it will not go away. It will keep
pounding on you. Even if you turn your back at it, hide from it, whether in the caves or in 5-star
hotels; whether alone, in the privacy of your room or in the company of friends, you really
can’t. It keeps on showing up, like bills. It is like a desperate lover who keeps on following his
girl, never failing, until finally, she attends to him. Oliver Wendell Holmes described truth this
way: “Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch, nay, you may kick it all about all
day like a football, and it will be round and full at evening.”
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21. Yes, it can be ignored and rejected but it’s so powerful it changed the course of human
history and it still can. And no respecter of worlds, be it 1st
like U.S.A or 3rd
like Philippines.
President Richard Nixon and President Joseph Estrada would have agreed. It has unseated
Presidents and Rulers, enthroned artists and musicians like King David and produces, rather
reveals all kinds of people, heroes and villains. You see, it’s one of those outdated words that
dictate the life of men in this world – and certainly on the “other” world.
Indeed, it’s really a hard enemy; first class. You can compare it to the British’s Special Air
Service (SAS), France’s French Foreign Legion (FFL) or U.S.A’s Special Force (SF); really a tough
one. But as a friend, many of the so-called friends, even enemies, even if they’re like elite
forces, seem not so significant. It can provide peace and comfort no one else in the world could
give.
Truth, poorly painted in this picture, is not a good company to be challenged then. You
don’t want it, therefore, to be your enemy; you want it to be your friend, a best friend if you
have the guts. Yes, it will hurt you, embarrass you, make you look like a fool but it will liberate
you, sets you free. James Garfield said that “truth shall make you free but first, it will make you
miserable”. However, in the end, it will also provide nice beddings for you at night.
Oh, what a different world it would be if men were:
Lovers of truth – instead of silver, sex and stardom
Lover of truth – instead of penny, pleasure and power
Lovers of truth – instead of gold, girls and glory
The immortal lines of James Russell Lowell “Truth forever on the scaffold, wrong forever
on the throne” still ring true when you watch TV, listen to radio and read the morning
newspapers. But Mr. Lowell perhaps had a major mistake in these beautiful lines when he
included the word “forever” in the 2nd
portion.
BAD NEWS
If you’re looking for good news these days, perhaps you could find them somewhere else but
not on this planet. It has really gone mad. It has declared news black-out to anything good. Evil seems to
be getting an upper hand. And just like a seasoned sports team, it’s looking good down the stretch.
But the pinnacle of this tragedy, for me, is the gradual extinction of the “few good men”. Boy,
they’re endangered species nowadays; a priceless possession of this world. One man said that evil
triumphs when few good men do nothing. But where in the world are they now? Are they hiding
because of the mockery and ridicule they will suffer when their goodness strikes and challenges the
accepted norms? Is evil too strong, with a soaring popularity rating higher than P-Noy’s?
Everybody is looking for them, desperately; especially the young men these days who are trying
to look for their “model”. But where’s the spotlight turning to? To rockstars and entertainment people
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22. who have demonstrated a shallow way of living that when the music stops and the lights’ off, they’re as
lost as anybody else. Now, I have nothing against entertainment and arts. They have produced Mozarts
and Picassos and Jordans and Brandos. I appreciate their talents and respect them . What I am up to is
when these youngsters try to emulate their off-the-scene/off-the-record behaviors.
Oh, if we could only go back in time and pull out men like Abe Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Jr.,
the 2 Roosevelts, Gandhi, Ramon Magsaysay and Apolinario Mabini! If we could only bring them to our
time and throw the mantle of leadership back at them! These men fought evil, at times single-handedly,
and the world got a glimpse of what happen when few good men do something. And it did hit the
frontpage.
Men like them have brought hope in the hearts of men when hopes were low. They’re like
Rambo in war, showing up when needed the most. Truly, an action star in the drama of life. And when
some brave media men or journalists challenged the accepted norms of newsmaking – that they thrive
on crimes and chaos – their story lives on, down to the next generation. Not so bad after all.
Cemetery
It’s a quite place. Here, men have no monthly reports to submit, no trainings to conduct,
no projects to implement and no partnerships to establish. Just rest. From the toils of the earth,
they’re now sleeping in the silence of the cold grave. They’ve reached the end of life and few of
their living friends come to drop by and visit them. Lonely and forgotten men.
Tombs in different fashions, different shapes. Some are stylish, marble-made, shining;
others are made just of cement, already covered with weeds and algae.
But however ugly and old and disorganized this place is, it’s the threshold to eternity.
You can’t go there without stopping by here. The glorious heaven or the agonizing hell will
begin here.
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23. Time and again, I’m quite disturbed why I want to be in this area. Obviously not a proper
place for a “hang-out”, there is sobriety and meaning that permeates in the atmosphere.
Here, you are reminded that you will not live forever in this world.
Here, you begin to think that whatever your achievements in life are, you can’t bring
them with you in this spot. I’ve never seen a Ph.D. diploma, vault of money or boxes of
jewelries in this site.
Here, you contemplate on the more important stuff of life such as relationships, service
to God and others, your family and friends and other people. More on people and less on
achievements.
You will realize that, truly, your life is like a grass, quickly withering, here today, gone
tomorrow.
You begin to appreciate every day that you’re alive and breathing because in spite of
your limitations, you can still do something, unlike the men here whose only capacity is to lie
silently in their grave. A living Private First Class (PFC) is better than a dead general. A living cat
is more ferocious than a dead lion.
Here is the exact measure of a man. What remains after here is truly the kind of man
that he is and they will endure for eternity. If nothing remains for him after he’s buried, then,
he lived a wasted life. It’s truly a sobering reminder that we should look at life at the vantage
point of death.
FANTASY/REALITY
In front of me is a rainbow. So colorful, naturally. We are said that it’s an illusion, optical
at that. But few realities could surpass its beauty. Why are illusions so beautiful? Why are
unreal things captivating? Why, while reality is boring, dull and uninteresting? Ironic.
But just like all beautiful and lovely things, it’s just there for seconds. Gone. No traces
left behind.
At my left lies an old poor man, wearing old tattered clothes. No mattress, just lying on
the cold floor. Reality sets in. Ironic.
Dust and divinity. The glory of heaven and the reality of earth. You, most of the time,
find yourself in this situation.
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24. And this scene is played in the background of a group of evangelists, preaching the
message of hope, Christ. Reality of Earth, the Glory of Heaven and the message of God; an
excellent triumvirate.
Could it be that these three things are played in every part of the human life? Could it
be that the message is the medium of man towards the greatest of all illusions: heaven?
The Intelligent guy’s lament
While thinking guys are immersed in deep introspection, philosophizing, thinking great
ideas, wading the thoughts of Socrates, Plato and Aristotle, getting acquainted with the
intellectuals such as Rousseau, Bertrand Russell, Shelley, Marx and Ibsen, the guys who don’t
feel the need to agree their verb with their subject are already having fun, self-actualizing the
things the bright boys only dream of.
While talented guys can romanticize love, discover words that can elevate it to greater
heights, placing it into the world of fantasy, those guys who have no idea with poetic imagery,
sentence cadence, syllabication and genre, are already kissing the girls the former wish they
could just hold those ladies’ hands. Sounds fair.
And the more the intelligent guy sees and experiences these “heartbreaks”, the sharper
his words become. It seems that his lot is loneliness, pain and misery. Ahead of his time, few
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25. people really understand him. Those things are his “ticket” to be punched so he could go on to
one notch higher.
With no physical attractiveness, whatsoever, that can make a lady look his way, the only
way to win a woman’s heart is through his words. Pen and paper. Not that elegant. Bereft of a
“macho” image, his charm lies on something that is not so popular with the majority: the
grandness and magnificence of his thoughts. Few people would appreciate that.
But in his core lies a lover who is hiding in the mask of intellect with a deep need to love
and be loved.
The Unfortunate Philippines
No wonder this country is deeply divided. Why, we cannot even agree where we have started!
Many people would tell that it all began in Limasawa when poor Magellan got lost (not discovered) in
the island. But others would contend it’s in the place called Mazzaua, 51 nautical miles below Butuan in
1521. I know miles but not with nautical. Email Magellan for that.
Could it be that he went first to Mazzaua and that after observing the place, concluded that
there’s no fun there, turned on his boat and headed to somewhere else and landed in Limasawa and got
stuck in there?
The National Historic Institute (NHI) of the Philippines has no time for such “deep” historical
analysis and ruled that Limasawa above Butuan and Mazzaua below it are one and the same. Very
simple. Problem resolved. Case closed. The guys there were genius.
Other would attribute such confusion to language barriers; how foreign people like Magellan
enunciate or received words like “Limasawa” and “Mazzaua”. Magellan wearing a hearing aid then
would have made the lives of historians easier.
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26. And there was this guy named Ginés de Mafra, the only crew of Magellan who came back to the
isle, 20 years later as pilot in Villalobos’s fleet, staying for 2 months this time. Perhaps, he was not a
likeable fellow, nobody wanted to accompany him. He, with no friends to affirm his words, explained
that they’re in Mazzaua then, a different place than what is called Limasawa. Poor guy, no one in the
Philippines, then, would have understood his knowledge on Renaissance navigation, cartography,
geography, paleography and those other things needed to make the boat float in the sea and cross
other islands. He might look like Alan Greenspan explaining interest rates and capping to kindergarten
kids.
Naturally, his arguments were dismissed. To the guys in NHI, why make it so confusing? Go back
to Spain and take some “merienda” and “siesta”.
While our Congress, Judiciary and Executive branch have been grabbing each other’s throat and
trying to knock each other’s out, debating about the mundane aspect of Filipino life like education,
health, tax, salary, good governance, its good to take those 2 words.
Magellan would have dropped his sword and joined us.
The Romanticism of 1986 EDSA Revolution
For once, we were united. No event in Philippine History so dramatic, emotionally-charged and
mind-hammering that has spectacularly brought us together and changed the landscape of Philippine
Politics than this one. Gen. Aguinaldo’s Declaration in Kawit, Cavite and Gen. del Pillar’s Biak-na-Bato
would have come close but this revolution, when some Filipino try to reminisce it, has that power to
instill a sense of patriotism in us. It brought us back to a time when idealism and realism where fused
that resulted to a feat few country then could have produced. Indeed, the world witnessed a little
country in Asia where its citizen unleashed their power to accomplish their goal: oust an overstaying
dictator. Not so popular then, it’s nothing short of a miracle.
How in the world will you be able to dethrone a sitting king, where all powers were in his
disposal? President Marcos was one of the very few leaders then who relished power and who has a
record of staying that long – 21 years. He did not want to leave the Presidency. But a lot of people still
admired him. My grandfather was one, an Ilocano. He commanded loyalty to his army. If you’ve got the
balls to challenge him then, you’ve got to be smart and tough and perhaps, rich also. In the words of
Machiavelli, you have to be a lion to frighten wolves. (People say that he had many books by Niccolò
Machiavelli. Well, The Prince could be his manual for leadership) Pres. Marcos was a political animal,
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27. ferocious like a lion, devouring all who stand in his way. But every man, even how good he is, will always
find his counterpart. Germany’s Adolf Hitler has Britain’s Winston Churchill. Japan’s Gen. Yamashita
Tomoyuki has U.S.A’s Gen. Douglas McArthur and Germany’s Tank Commander Gen. Erwin Rommel has
U.S.A’s Tank Commander Gen. George Patton. And oh, Paquito Diaz has Fernando Poe, Jr, don’t forget.
You’ll always find your man.
One of my Professors told me that for you to have a successful revolution, you have to unify
these 4 sectors of society: the Church, the Business Sector, the Military and the critical of all, the
Masses. Now, in a normal situation, these elements have little in common. And they seem not to like
each other. The Business Sector and the Masses have been considered rivals, they’re going in different
direction. Karl Marx would have agreed. The Church with the Army is like an angel holding a Weapon of
Mass Destruction. Its just awkward and improper. These 4 pillars of a successful revolt should have a
deep and overwhelming cause that would temporarily eclipse their differences and form an alliance,
able to withstand the pressure of being hit hard. Only in EDSA they did it. And did it with flying colors.
The assassin’s bullet that ended the life of Sen. Benigno “Ninoy” Aquino, Jr. had been the major
spark that fired up the Filipino People to do something about the situation. He courageously laid down
his life, in front of his countrymen and even the whole world, to end the Marcos Regime. The only man
who could challenge the President was gone. When he stepped down on that plane, and faced his
death, he had with him a quotation by Gandhi: “The willing sacrifice of the innocent is the most
powerful answer to insolent tyranny that has yet been conceived by God or man.” “The Filipino is worth
dying for”. On August 21, 1983, he sealed that line with his blood. His blood watered the Land fertile for
such history-defining movement, known to us as the People Power Movement.
If you try to become imaginative about it, it has the parallelism of a stage play where there are
plot, setting, climax, ending, actors and actresses, protagonists and antagonists, each of them exuding
theatrical performances, worthy of an Oscar’s Award. Former Defense Minister Juan Ponce Enrile and
then AFP’s Vice Chief-of-Staff Fidel V. Ramos were the superstars of that moment when they responded
to the call of the People and eventually, put their career and life on the line. Military analysts would not
quickly approve of such action by military leaders, leaving their fallen Commander-in-Chief but looking
back, I would say they made that crucial decision in the critical moment of the life of a nation and save
it. Wherever they are right now, a Senator and a Statesman, they have etched their names in the annals
of our history. They were men heaven-sent that time to rise up to the occasion.
But the obvious question is that where are we now? Did we forget the lessons of EDSA? We
should continue to ask these questions as we commemorate this Movement, yearly. Someone has said
that revolution is the graveyard of the ideals. Did we really bury the powerful messages sent by that
event? An author named Cecilio T. Arillo wrote a sequel to the 1986 EDSA Revolution, entitled Greed
and Betrayal and boy, its truly anticlimactic to such triumph by the Filipino People. In it are the errors,
blunders and the lapses of the Aquino Administration such as the abolition of the 1973 Constitution,
Hacienda Luisita, and her bumbling Cabinet.
The romantic side of everything, even on love, will fade. And unless you move on, you will be
disillusioned when the emotional tide sinks low. This country so divided should always learn to look back
at those moments and try to take a hard look at ourselves, and asked are we better than those times?
Are we still willing to forego our prejudices and collaborate with others who have little in common with
us if only to realize our shared vision and hope?
27

28. The younger and coming generation should not forget this defining moment of our country; that
prayers and faith in our God are more powerful than battle tanks and trained soldiers; that a man, even
how powerful he is, is not above the law; that when you cross the line and become intoxicated by
power, the Filipino people are willing to lay down their lives to kick you out. The children now should be
taught its lesson so that they will have a sense of nationalism and when the time came that they will
stand on top of the world, they’ll raise our flag and with conviction, will proudly proclaim “I am a
Filipino”.
The General Laid Down His Sword
No. Not on this man. Do it to a jilted lover but not on this stable and strong public figure. Not on
this man who had earned his place in Philippine History, especially during EDSA 2. Not on this man who
was once been a leader of the brave and proud Philippine soldiers. It can’t be to a man who once
commanded the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP). It’s just too much.
He could not have fought a greater war than to himself. Gen. Angelo Reyes, Jr. took his own life
in front of his mother’s grave. The general has laid down his sword.
It came as a shock, even to an ordinary Filipino like me. Never in your wild imagination that a
war commander as tough as Gen. Reyes would put an end to his colorful life and career. Never in
Philippine History was a man so strong but deep inside, weak.
Men like Gen. Reyes, committing suicide, could not be real. A man who has faced a lot of severe
tests in life could be expected to pass this one. He lets us down.
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29. After becoming the best and the brightest soldier in his time, be became an “Arroyo boy”,
serving in various departments such as Department of National Defense (DND), Department of
Environment and Natural Resources (DENR), Department of Energy (DOE), etc. Leadership is in his blood.
His judgment, excellent. Until this time.
He made the historic decision of leaving Pres. Estrada, his Commander-In-Chief, went to the
other side and forever changed the landscape of Philippine Politics. A decision many judged “unmilitary”
but produces results that time.
Few days ago have been a terrible time for the AFP. The generals have been hitting, not the
enemy, but the front-page. The charges of corruption has been endless – and strong. Involving high-
ranking officials, even their wives, this is a kind of battle that is not so winnable. And the public had been
reawaken, confirming their worst fear: time and again, they’re duped by these “Officers and
Gentlemen”.
A tragic ending for a war hero, this should be a lesson to the incoming officers that will one day
hold the reins of power to the Philippine defense force. Make your country and fellow soldiers proud of
you. Die with honor.
My War Experience
War is absolutely ugly. It produces hurting widows, fatherless sons, grieving mothers;
parents burying their own children, decapitated and angry soldiers, vengeful rebels, exhausted
government and starving people. One could only look at the Evacuation Centers and you feel
how gruesome war is. I’ve felt this when I was a Community Worker in Sarangani Province.
Scarcity of food is the immediate problem. The evacuees will have to depend on “relief
food” that will be distributed to them. And they, at times, will have to literally fight for it with
fellow evacuees, worrying that it will ran out, they will have no meal.
Sanitation problem, in addition, exposes these so-called Internally Displaced Persons
(IDPs) to germs and bacteria, they are prone to sickness. In that congested place, diseases will
just spread quickly. Moreover, some children sleep, lying on the floor with no mat or mattress
whatsoever. I just wonder what’s in their mind, staring blankly at the ceiling. I might surmise,
What is really happening? Why do I have to sleep on this cold floor? Why do I have to sleep
with these strangers at my side? Or probably, “When are we going back home?” Oh, if adults
could only see war in the eyes of the child! Or if they could only see the faces of children in that
condition; a face that is confused, troubled and lost. Truly, a picture of humanity.
29

30. One scene was forever ingrained in my mind. We were going back to our base in the
Municipality of Kiamba when war broke out. We passed through a school where soldiers were
already positioned, falling in line, hiding in the cover of the school fence, in defense from the
rebel’s assault. Not far away, groups of civilians were already on the roadside, wanting to leave
their community for a safer place. It was just so topsy-turvy and disorganized and confusing like
the opening scene of the movie Black Hawk Down, where civilians in Mogadishu were getting
out of control to get some food.
But amidst all this chaos, one human being stood out: a child, probably about 4 years
old, was looking to us, inside the car. Then, he raised his hand for us to stop; so that he can get
in the car and leave everything behind. He wanted, desperately, to get out from that fear and
confusion engulfing the place.
We did not stop. Perhaps, except me, nobody saw him and we’re picking up speed so
we can leave the area, quickly. He became a face in the crowd but that face was so
unmistakable, the memory of it lingers. (I think it would also not be a good idea to stop in the
middle of that chaotic environment and get that one child from the rest of the pack. His family
was certainly there.)
But the desperation and fear in that face will give you a hint to the sting of war. It takes
out energy, hope, and almost, the will to live. It extracts a lot from an individual, you might as
well resonate with President Ronald Reagan, asking “Where’s the rest of me?”. Truly, war will
not determine what is right but what is left.
On the other side, strangely, for cowards like me, it’s a bit funny too. Of course, after
you have recovered from the trauma it brought to you. Indeed, tragedy plus time equals
comedy.
Year 2008. It was the year that I spent fully in the Municipality of Maasim, Sarangani
Province, as Community Worker of a Non-Government Organization. This is a beautiful place.
Situated along the coastal area, with mountain and forest on the other side, it’s close to a
tourist spot. And what made it more appealing are people. Wonderful people. Very
accommodating to outsiders like me. Different tribes and religions. We call it Tri-People;
Muslims, Lumads and Christians, living together, co-existing, as one community.
This bond was strong but delicate. History would show. You would not want to repeat it
in this place. Everybody was trying to live the normal life, in spite of the differences. Everybody
was just trying to live peacefully with each other. Until one day…
August 18, 2008. Suspected Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF) lost command made a
well-orchestrated attack to parts of Mindanao, including my covered-area, the Municipality of
Maasim. It was a shocking attack that took everybody by surprise. They seize the heart of the
Municipality, firing at the Municipal Hall, destroying parts of the Police Station and instilling
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31. fear to the residents. According to them, the brigands were carrying high-powered weapons
due to the deafening explosions they produced as their ammunitions burst in the air.
I was fortunate it was a special non-working holiday. I was still in my home in Davao. But
reports were flying all over regarding the coordinated attacks and many municipalities were
reportedly captured by the rebel groups. Another blow on Mindanao, the land of the Broken
Promise. I could only stay at home and kept monitoring the progress of the situation.
August 20, 2008. Meeting of the Municipal Disaster Coordinator Council (MDCC) with
the Governor of the Sarangani Province, himself, was held. Many of the department heads and
leaders of local organizations were present. I happened to be the team leader of the Maasim
Team that time, my first taste of command. And what a time! I imagine myself as Gen. David
Petraeus, one of the best and brightest American Commanders during Operation Iraqui
Freedom, providing excellent leadership in that war (I was reading the book entitled In the
Company of Soldiers written by the Pulitzer-prize winning author Rick Atkinson). But in reality, I
was close to a squad leader, in command of 4 wonderful ladies. We, together with our Program
Manager, joined the meeting to address some immediate needs in the Evacuation Center.
Before we even started, I noticed that the Governor was uneasy. He’s excusing himself
time and again to go out, attended calls, going back to the meeting again but minutes later,
goes outside, always in his phone. There must be something.
In spite of it, we went on to our meeting, assessing the situation and listing down all the
needs to be addressed in the Evacuation Center. Needs such as food, medicines and sanitation
concerns were on top of that list. The meeting was flowing fine when suddenly, there was a
message coming from the Municipal Mayor. It was an order to vacate the area where our
meeting was held and look for a safer spot. Someone reported to him that an armed group was
sighted and was prepared to make an assault to the Municipality; obviously, the last thing we
needed to allay the fears already building up, even before the meeting was conducted.
It was a message that went us scrambling to places we never knew how we arrived
there. Everybody was just running outside the door and God knows where. Our Program
Manager went to the Municipal Health Office (I never knew why) and I followed with my mind
determined never to leave her. Few spots are more vulnerable than that place. Thanks to the
Municipal Health Officer (MHO), she followed us there and bid us to come with her together
with the other municipal officials.
Outside that Rural Health Unit, in the open space, I felt so vulnerable. I was already
thinking of flying bullets that would hit through my body. I was also imagining bombs, Rocket
Propelled Grenades (RPGs) and hand grenades being hurled on us. Imagination runs wild that
when I saw the vehicle we’ll be using to leave, I was desperate to unlock its backdoor. I kept
pulling and pulling it hard but it won’t open. Bad breaks always happen when you badly needed
a good one. I never had the common sense to look for some tie, somewhere, that caused that
door not to open. The driver was a bit confused and troubled of the sight of this young man
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32. about to destroy his jeep, he went to where I was and easily, calmly untied the knot connected
to the vehicle’s backdoor. Miracle broke in.
Inside that jeep, everybody was just restless and frightened, too afraid of what will
happen next. In the disorder of the moment, someone suggested to say a prayer before we
leave. One of my teammates responded. And boy, it was one of the longest prayers I’ve ever
heard. Everybody was fidgeting to leave the spot and here she was, doing a litany. We can’t
move unless she stops. After about 5 minutes, one of the longest 5 minutes I experienced, off
we went. At last!
In the road, the commotion was terrible. Every driver was blowing his horn, overtaking
other drivers that traffic jammed. People in the sideline were running in every direction and
that, you feel, a crossfire will break and you’ll be caught in it.
Minutes later, we were considerably far away from where the action was. We breathed
a sigh of relief and we settled into the house of a Barangay Captain. After a while, when the
dust settled, a correction was made. The best part was revealed. The incoming assault - that
caused the Municipal Mayor to issue an order to vacate the area where we had the meeting
with the Governor and with the best men in that situation, that made us rushing to places God
knows where, that, perhaps, made the blood pressure of some to shoot up to the highest level -
was a FALSE ALARM.
A Million Peso Joke
Ever heard of a joke that costs a million peso? The question alone seems like already a
joke, isn’t it? But, really, have you heard such thing? I heard once and what’s tragic is that, I was
part of its creation. As in a song, the joke was on me.
My job as a Project Officer (PO) involves the implementation of School Improvement
Projects and with them, the classroom construction project. This endeavor is no joke, I should
say. You’ve got to prepare the stakeholders, community, the people, and the documents for it
to materialize. Commitments and counterparts should be made ready and secured and series of
coordination meetings must be held to really prepare and to avoid messing up. Operational
details are delved so as to avoid mistakes. In short, errors are prohibited.
The target for the project is in High School. Annual Plan and Targets are clear as to
which school the project will be implemented. As PO, I have coordinated with the school head
and Parents Teachers Association (PTA) and Local Government Units (LGUs), in terms of the
legal documents and commitments of this particular school. All papers, Deed of Donation of the
land and Letter of Commitment, came from this High School.
How the earth did it happen that in the grand scheme of things, the classroom
construction project was implemented in Elementary School of that locality! The two
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33. classrooms, whose project site was technically assessed in the school ground of the High
School, were build in the Elementary School. Talk about preparation! And Operational details!
And Consultative Meetings! And Planning! A million peso project which was carefully planned
and reviewed by the experts, and the not-so expert which is me, was spent to other school
which never in the wild dreams of the school personnel did it occur to them that such miracle
would happen.
To this moment, I can’t figure out that such a thing could happen but it did and it still
would, I believe. Mistakes and lapses such as these will never happen….in a perfect world.
The Commander-in-Love
Napoleon Bonaparte. The name alone conjures up an image of certain mystique and
charm that sets this man apart. Indeed, he’s one of the best field commanders, the greatest
military genius of the 19th
century. No forces were able to contain him. No one and nothing;
except, perhaps, love.
In his time, he seemed destined to conquer the whole of the European continent.
Scanning world history, especially western civilization, the name of this French would always
pops up that other figures would look pale in comparison to him. Even, at times, with limited
soldiers, in terms of number, he could still prevail over larger forces. He is one of best soldiers
God ever produced. Not so tall, he stood tall head and shoulders above others. The hoofbeats
of his cavalry would strike terror in the hearts of his enemy. No man could ever soften his heart;
except, a woman, by the name of Josephine. He’s one of the best Commanders-in-Chief but he
was also the Commander-in-Love.
He was truly the conqueror that time, sweeping across Europe and so victorious that
those wars were named after him, the Napoleonic Wars. He seemed undefeatable that the
General who finally beat him, the Duke of Wellington, concluded that the presence of Napoleon
in the battlefield is equal to 40, 000 men in the balance.
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34. But this tough guy was in love to his lady, Josephine. In the famous Battle of Waterloo,
where finally he was soundly beaten, Napoleon was disturbed to the rumors of his wife having
an affair with someone. Many historians would agree that during this battle, Napoleon’s
boldness and inspiring presence were absent. His judgments, one of the much-sought after
characters of a leader where he possessed, were poor. He seemed restless and out of focus and
that victory that time, naturally, was never within his reach.
Napoleon was a different man, gifted and charming. Yet, his humanity, his emotions
came into play and this godlike figure was regressed to mere mortal. He failed to tame his
emotion and that battle revealed what will be the end of a talented man whose passions are
not controlled.
In spite of his magnificent and awe-inspiring manhood, Napoleon bowed down to one
man who neither commanded an Army nor wield a sword, Jesus Christ. These are his words:
Everything in Christ astonishes me. His spirit overawes me, and his will confounds me.
Between him and whoever else in the world, there is no possible term of comparison.
He is truly a being by himself…. I search in vain in history to find the similar to Jesus
Christ, or anything which can approach the gospel. Neither history, nor humanity, nor
the ages nor nature, offer me anything with which I am able to compare it or to explain
it. Here everything is extraordinary.
The Prayer
Lord, let me listen to you and to the inner promptings of the soul.
Let me think about you more and more. You, alone, can satisfy the intellectual needs of a man.
Hide me Lord from the pride of men.
Stardom: short of one “o” is “doom”.
Let me be joyful always in spite of everything.
Let this thing called love live within me.
Men don’t know how to love.
We’re adept how to hate.
We need a Rabbi as great as you, Lord,
For us to learn, this greatest of all…
Let me be a simple man. I think you want that from me also.
I’m already complicated.
Lord, simplify me.
The Community Organizers’ Faith
Miles and miles away, we’ll reach you,
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35. As long as we still have both feet that can walk
And a heart that can breathe and beats compassion
Poor people, wait for us. Help is underway.
With these God-given knowledge, skills, abilities,
Together, we can change things.
No mountains high enough, no opposition strong enough,
To deter us in this noble mission.
Your dignity, as a person, is all that matter.
And we will give all what we’ve got
To let you recognize that.
From drifting fog to speeding bullet, we will overcome,
Valleys, mountaintops, rivers, marshes, we will cross.
In the name of God of Heaven and Earth
Who came down to live with humanity,
We offer our lives to the men and women who need help.
Few missions will be as sacred,
Than improving the quality of lives of the Poor.
“Perhaps, no person can be a poet, or can even enjoy poetry,
without a certain unsoundness of mind”
Thomas Babington Macaulay
“What can be explained is not poetry”
35

36. William Butler Yeats
Community Organizers’ Creed
I am here because God called me,
And it is for His Glory that I work hard;
I am a kingdom warrior in the spiritual battlefield,
Putting on the whole armor of God.
In this war, love is my strongest weapon,
For love conquers all;
Without it, I am nothing,
Without it, all accomplishments, even how excellent, are waste.
I will always place the mission first above all,
Believing that this duty is sacred;
I love and trust my fellow staff,
And if the need arises, I will gladly lay down my life for them.
I believe that God loves every man,
And it is my vision that not one of them will perish;
I will do everything at my disposal,
To let them live a life in all its fullness.
I am physically, emotionally and mentally tough,
And consider hardships as challenges, opportunities for growth;
I refuse to be mediocre,
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37. And always strive for excellence and character in everything that I do.
As I cross rivers, hike through dangerous mountains and valleys in different communities,
I remember the bravery and dedication of my comrades;
Their sacrifices, most of them, are hidden in men’s eyes,
That only God can clearly see and justly reward.
This is what I believe, this is what I stand for,
And I am proud to be a Community Organizer;
Everything I will do to hear the sweet voice of my Master saying,
“Well done, good and faithful servant”.
DEATH
Oh, fearsome and unbending Death,
You are the nightmare of every man;
They will never know when you will knock at their door,
And ushered them to eternity, they’d never figure out for sure.
You’ve knocked out every kind of person,
Statesmen to rebels, Kings to vagabonds;
Sinners and saints alike, at your command,
Commit their lives, into the hollow of your hand.
Others try to resist you with their elixirs of medicine,
But you seem to mock them, with your own arsenal;
While they work out on technology that life will be strengthen,
You’ve already made a plan, that even the best will fall.
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38. Singing Birds
Sing, Oh sing, birds in the air, sing,
Sweet voice, to heaven, rising;
The angels, with all their earth-shattering voice, will stand aside,
To the music these tiny creatures provide
Cursed Men
Men have different ways of ruining their lives,
To the heartaches of their loving wives;
They never run out of ways,
Of souring their remaining days.
In a gleeful fashion, they march to their destruction,
Never heeding warnings on the sideline;
The march of folly, they say,
That they embrace fully.
God was truly repentant,
Why He did not stop working on Friday;
For the creature he made on Saturday,
Destroyed all the achievements of His 5 working days.
Anxiety Attack
Anxious, always anxious,
Rest, calm, peace, so elusive;
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39. Left to right, back to front, wherever you go,
No place to rest.
The heart in turmoil, always reaching for something that is not there,
Mind so active, it never accomplished anything;
Good to be reminded of the wisdom of the sage,
That if when everything goes wrong, “Breath”
Tennyson’s line “I envy all the dead”,
Expressed the secret longing of every man;
At times you want to live forever,
At times you want to simply disappear.
The Search Goes On
O, job seeker, you search the Earth for a
job,
Yet, it’s gods are making fun of you;
It seems, they hide it in Pluto,
Ruled and Guarded by the mob.
It is like searching for a needle in a
haystack,
Or looking for a Weapons of Mass
Destruction in Iraq;
Like cracking down a town for a terrorist
leader,
That costs a million dollar.
You look for friends you think can help you,
That would extricate you out of the blue;
But a door is slammed in your face,
Going back home in disgrace.
Sending hundreds of resumes to different
companies,
Schools, Hospitals, Call Centers and
Shopping Centers, hoping to get a call;
In your desperate moment,
Your phone is irritatingly silent.
But the search goes on, you say,
You’ll finally get one, someday;
With determination, tenacity and gusto,
The gods will get tired of laughing at you.
The “Nothingness” of Fatherhood
A father will give up his maturity,
Play the role of a fool for his son’s sake;
And when his son responds, “thanks dad”
He will just say, “hey son, it’s nothing”.
A father is willing to work extended hours,
Risking even his health to make ends met;
The family will thank him,
He will just say, “that’s nothing”
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40. A father could give up his career,
And spend his time with his children;
His children will be grateful,
He will just say “its nothing”.
He will give his blood and heart,
To his son in need of it;
His son will give thanks to him,
His answer, “its nothing”.
He will give everything he has for his family,
His life, his all in all;
And in his last breath,
His last words would be, “its nothing”.
A Simple Tribute to the Soldiers in Mindanao
As a young man, you dream of becoming a soldier,
You have prepared your body and mind for this
profession;
This is your ambition you hold dear,
Sacrificing almost everything for this aspiration.
Your parent disagreed with this foolishness,
They thought, it’s downright madness;
Yet, in spite of their objection,
You go on for what seems to you a sacred vocation.
You’ve made up your mind, you join the Training,
Everything in you is thoroughly tested;
Physical, Mental and Emotional aspect was
rigorously assessed,
Finding out if you have really this calling.
Your tenacity and toughness have paid off,
They made you a soldier you want to be;
Strong, agile and determined,
Prepared to fight in a battle you cannot foresee.
Then, it happens to many warriors,
The call of duty has arrived;
The ultimate has come now,
You are called to fight the war in Mindanao.
You’ve heard how your comrades have been brutally
killed here,
A land where war is not over;
They were beheaded and mutilated,
A death so agonizing what you want is justice must
be served.
You’ve also heard the politics of the war here,
The rumors accusing that this is just a Game of the
Generals;
You can’t figure out its veracity,
But only knew that in war, truth is the first casualty.
A 6x6 truck has carried you,
Into the battlefield so hard to construe;
You go down deep in the jungle of Basilan,
Where your fellow soldiers have gone.
This is it, you say,
God Help, somehow, you pray;
A real war you now experience,
Romantic imagination of war is now silenced.
As you walk nervously into the heart of the jungle,
You think of the sting of enemy bullet how it feels
when it hit through your skin;
In one shot, everything could end,
You will say farewell to your family, dreams and
friends.
Not far away from where you stood,
Shooting was heard;
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41. Everyone in your troop dropped,
Looking and listening to this firing of guns.
Then, cautiously, you draw nearer to the scene,
Suddenly, a barrage of bullets was fired on you;
As you headed for the nearest tree for a cover,
You see one of your comrades being hit and suffer.
In the heat of battle, your courage seems to falter,
You sweat profusely, your heart rate going faster;
Yet, you hold on to your rifle firmly,
As you see the face of battle that is so ugly.
A chance was given, you shoot the enemy,
You pull the trigger and you have regained your
confidence;
This courageous act somehow reestablished your
bravery as a soldier,
And rekindled what is within you a quite ember.
Alas, an enemy bullet has hit you on the chest,
Blood gush forth but you keep on fighting with the
rest;
Your comrades pull you out from your ground,
You’re now pale and your breathing becomes heavy.
In the vehicle, death knock on your door,
As you lie awake, you asked the reason why did this
happen;
An officer staring at you wish he could answer,
As you breath your last, he could only close your
eyes and shed some tear.
Everyday, we give our utmost respect and
admiration to you,
Our dear soldier who has laid down his life for his
fellow;
We could sleep comfortably at night and enjoy the
blessings of liberty,
Only because a brave soldier like you consider it
glorious to die for his country.
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