Family Photo Collage - Kyle Gervais

1. A Picture is Worth
A Thousand Words
Kyle Gervais
CMS 332
11-20-11

2. What Family Is
“Networks of people who share their lives over long
periods of time bound by ties of marriage, blood,
law, or commitment, legal or otherwise, who consider
themselves as family and who share a significant
history and anticipated future of functioning as a
family” (8).

3. Family Type
I come from a two-parent biological family, the type of
family from which both of my parents come from as well
This type of family “consists of parents and the
children who are from the union of these parents” (9).

4. Communication Patterns
and Family Functions
“Communication provides form and
content to a family’s life as members
engage in family-related functions….a
function is simply something a system
must do…in order to avoid a
breakdown” (29-30).
The three dimensions of the
circumplex model of marital
and family systems are
cohesion, adaptability and
communication.

5. Cohesion and Adaptability
Concerning the four levels of cohesion,
my family would be considered cohesive,
where “family members strive for
emotional closeness, loyalty, and
togetherness with an emphasis on some
individuality” (31). We love each other
and are there for each other but also
have our own, very separate lives.
As far as adaptability, or “how family systems manage
stability and change” (32), I would call my family flexible.
We are able to “experience high levels of change, shared
decision making, and shifting rules and roles” (32). In
1997, we moved from Fort Kent, where all of my mom’s
side was living, down to Saco, closer to my dad’s side,
which resulted in a big shift socially and financially, but
which we were successfully able to adapt to.

6. Family Themes
The theme that my family has taken for itself is that “You can
always depend on family.” After the move, we were not as
close to my grandparents (my mom’s parents) who were a
major part of my upbringing, as well as my brother and
sister’s, but they still visit us at least once every two months,
and we make individual trips up north once a year. My dad’s
side of the family is also there for us whenever we need
support, and we are there for them. If anything were to go
wrong for any of us, we know that we would be able to rely on
members of the family, from whatever side, to help.

7. Rules
My immediate family is very relaxed as far as rules go. When I was younger, a few of
my friend’s parents thought that mine were giving my too much freedom (which is
funny, because I thought I was being sheltered compared to other friends). Through
high school, and afterwards when we were still living at home, the children of the
family were required to be home by a certain time (usually midnight) and call if we
were going to be any later or if plans changed. Because this seemed totally
reasonable, we followed the rules and rarely got into trouble or found ourselves
grounded.
As far as language is concerned, nothing is off limits and I have said some of
the most vulgar things ever spoken in the company of my parents and never
gotten into trouble. We all swear like sailors. We are also aware though, that
when we are in the company of others, or even members of our extended
family, that we need to keep it clean.

8. Rituals
“Rituals convey a variety of meanings and messages in emotionally powerful
patterns; they remind members of who they are, how much they care about each
other, and they reflect a family’s relational culture” (113).
Growing up, my family used to have My sister and her boyfriend also watch different
dinner together every single night as sports together with my dad. I play in a band and
well as getting together with my my parents are at most shows, even if nobody else
grandparents and cousins on is.
Sundays after church (which we
went to together). After moving,
church ended, as did eating dinner
together but we still found time to
go to the movies together, or these
days, have a Sunday dinner
whenever all of us are free.

9. Roles
Jim – My dad, the primary provider, handyman, supportive, a total goofball,
willing to do anything to make sure his family is okay (be it emotionally
or financially)
Linda – My mom, calls the shots, has the final say, does most of the
cooking and some of the cleaning, extremely helpful with getting (and
keeping) her kids on the right path
Chris – My brother, part-time comedian and independent filmmaker, the
only one of us children still living at home, extremely moody, twin to my
sister, spoiled rotten
Erin – My sister, understudy for my mother as far as thinking that she can
call the shots and have the final say, twin to my brother, disinterested in
having her own children but living with a guy who already has two
Kyle – Me, struggling musician, soon-to-be college graduate (the first in my
immediate family including my parents), the eldest child and most
independent

10. Decision Making
“Decision making, like power, is a process that belongs
to the family system, not to an individual” (195).
When it comes to making decisions involving the family, like what we are doing for
Thanksgiving or Christmas or what color we are painting the bathroom, my mom makes
these calls. This is because we are all aware that she is the only one truly invested in the
decision and that she will be the only one brokenhearted if it doesn’t go her way. When it
comes to personal decisions though, we know that our family is there for us and usually,
during one of our Sunday dinners together, we will air out what has been bothering us or
look to members for support in making a decision. Just recently, I made the decision to
quit my job but wouldn’t have felt as okay with it if not for the support and backing of
my family.

11. Conflict differences are more
“Family members who confront their
likely to improve their relationships and experience more joint
benefits that increase love and caring” (210).
Though my family loves each other and gets along shockingly well for the most part, we are
not without conflict. Growing up, I was very stubborn and selfish and got in a lot of
arguments with my parents as well as my siblings which, through the years, I learned from.
Getting older though, there are still fights, except these days they most often between my
brother and I. Having extremely similar personalities and tastes does not make for a good
combination and usually, at every other family get-together, we have it out about some sort
of movie, TV show or band that we disagree on. He takes things personally and gets mad
that I don’t get more worked up about these things. This is what is happening in the picture
on the right. On the left, at a much younger age, I thought it would be funny to give my sister
bunny ears. My brother didn’t find it as funny and decided to pull my hair.

12. Open Family
As you might have guessed from the lack of censorship or force, and the fact
that none of we children have any defined career paths, that the Gervais
Family is an open family. We are busy people, who are willing to experience
new things and keep our options open. It wasn’t always like this though;
before graduating high school, I would have said that we were more of a
Closed Family, but as our lives have changed and the world has screwed us
over a little bit at a time, my parent’s standards and goals have certainly
changed, and honestly, it’s only improved our relationships with each other.

13. Family Image
My family is like a lava lamp. We’re bouncing around all over the place,
at different speeds, with no clear direction and while we might
occasionally crash into one another and explode into little pieces,
we are stuck together and we look pretty cool.

14. Family
As I get older, and the opportunity to start my own family becomes more of
a reality, I am confident that I will carry on the themes, traditions and
pieces of my upbringing that makes my family such a positive element in
my life.
It isn’t perfect, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.

15. Works Cited
Brommel, B.J.; Bylund, C.L.; Galvin, K.M; Family
Communication: Cohesion and Change, 8th ed; Allyn
and Bacon; 2012.