10. 5
From Dependence to Interdependence
Foundation
Person 1: Share a personal
experience of going from dependence to
independence.
Person 2: Share a personal
experience of going from independence
to interdependence.
34. 23
The Four Human Endowments
Habit 1 Be Proactive
Self-Awareness: Our ability to examine our
own thoughts, moods, and behaviors
Imagination: Our ability to visualize beyond
our current experience and circumstances
Conscience: Our understanding of right
and wrong
Independent Will: Our ability to act
independent of external influences
35. 25
“Whine” List
Habit 1 Be Proactive
Round 1: Tell your partner all of your
“have to’s” and “must do’s” coming up in
the next week.
Round 2: Convert the “have to’s” and
“must do’s” into “I choose to” or “I’m
going to.”
37. 25
Proactive vs. Reactive Language
Habit 1 Be Proactive
I decided to… They made me…
I am going to… I have to…
There’s got to be It can’t be done…
another way…
?_____________ ?______________
54. 40Habit 2 Begin With the End in Mind
Mission-Statement Writing Guidelines
• Relax, it’s confidential.
• Keep your pen moving!
• No need to edit—you’ll refine later.
• Enjoy and respect the quiet time.
• Courage!
• It’s a process.
55. Habit 2 Begin With the End in Mind
Video
Masterpiece
48–49
56. Habit 2 Begin With the End in Mind
Fast-Write Question
What is your mission?
48–49
57. Habit 2 Begin With the End in Mind
Teach to Learn
56–57
65. 66
Live North of the Line
Habit 3 Put First Things First
• Preparation
• Prevention
• Planning
• Relationship building
• Re-creation
• Values clarification
• Trivia, busywork
• Irrelevant phone
calls, mail, e-mail
• Time-wasters
• “Escape” activities
• Excessive TV,
Internet, relaxation
• Needless
interruptions
• Unnecessary
reports
• Unimportant
meetings, phone
calls, mail, e-mail
• Other people’s
minor issues
• Crises
• Pressing problems
• Deadline-driven
projects, meetings,
reports
Live North
of the Line
66. 66
xQ Tells You…
Habit 3 Put First Things First
40%
What percentage of
their time do workers spend
“below the line”?
72. 69
What Is the Most Important Thing?
Habit 3 Put First Things First
Project Manager
Parent
Spouse
Friend
Finalize budget
Draft meeting agenda
Attend parent-teacher
conference
Date night
What is the
most
important
thing I can do
in this role
this week?
78. 72
Tips for Daily Planning
When? Before the day begins.
Where? Someplace quiet.
How Long? 5–10 minutes.
Habit 3 Put First Things First
79. 73
Things to Remember
Habit 3 Put First Things First
• Give presentation in two weeks. Plan on five hours to
prepare.
• Jacques will have stats to me five days before
presentation.
• Remember Leigh’s birthday on the 1st.
• Complete report for boss within six days.
• Hold team meeting at 1 p.m. on Tuesday. Share market
data.
• Rosa committed to send me a list of products for review by
next Friday at 2 p.m.
• Bring paper products for Saturday’s fundraiser.
80. 73
xQ Tells You…
Habit 3 Put First Things First
33%
“I use an effective
planning system for managing
my activities.”
94. 89
Habit 4—Paradigms
Ineffective: There is only so much,
and the more you get, the less there
is for me.
Effective: There is plenty out there
for everyone, and more to spare.
Habit 4 Think Win-Win
95. The Six Paradigms of Human Interaction
Habit 4 Think Win-Win
• Win-Win
• Win-Lose
• Lose-Win
• Lose-Lose
• Win
• Win-Win or No Deal
90–91
100. Seek Mutual Benefit
Habit 4 Think Win-Win 95
Liz:
New title and promotion
10 percent pay increase
Important project
Liz & Kate
Liz wants responsibility; Kate wants infection rate reduced.
Kate:
Infection down 50 percent
Within 6 months
Within guidelines
103. Win-Win Systems
Habit 4 Think Win-Win 99
• For win-win to work inside a team
or an organization, the systems
need to support it: training, planning,
communication, budgeting, information,
compensation.
108. 107
Habit 5—Paradigms
Ineffective: I listen with the intent
to reply.
Effective: I listen with the intent to
understand.
Habit 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
109. 107
xQ Tells You…
Habit 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
48%
“We genuinely listen to
each other, honestly seeking to
understand the viewpoints
of others.”
110. 107
Video
Habit 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Diagnose Before
You Prescribe
111. 109
Autobiographical Responses
Habit 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Advising: Giving counsel, advice, and solutions to
problems.
Probing: Asking questions from our own frame of
reference or agenda.
Interpreting: Explaining another’s motives and
behavior based on our own experience; trying to
figure people out.
Evaluating: Judging, and either agreeing or
disagreeing.
112. 109
Video
Habit 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Autobiographical
Responses
114. 110
Empathic Listening
Habit 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Empathic Listening is reflecting what a
person feels and says in your own words.
It is not listening to advise, counsel, reply,
refute, solve, fix, change, judge, agree,
disagree, question, analyze, or figure out.
115. 110
“To Listen With a Virtuous Heart”
Habit 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Ears Eyes
Heart
117. 111
Watch the Signals
Habit 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Stop and listen empathically.
Slow down. Watch and be ready
to listen empathically.
Go forward and seek to be
understood.
118. 112
How to Listen Empathically
Habit 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Try it!
“You feel ________________________
about
_________________________.”
119. 115
Seek to Be Understood From the Other’s Perspective
Habit 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
I’m excited to move into the Latin American
marketplace. I honestly don’t think you could find
a better supplier than Indiva. Our quality
manufacturing standards are second to none,
with only a .2 percent defect rate. Our
considerable investment in customer service
means that we are leaders in product satisfaction.
Please let me know your decision. I look forward
to hearing from you by June 10.
120. 115
Suggested Revision
Habit 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
You’ll benefit from the high quality of Indiva
products. Your customers will experience
second-to-none quality with defect rates of only
.2 percent and industry-leading customer
satisfaction and service.
Please contact us with any issues you may have.
You’ll hear from us by June 10.
127. 123
Habit 6—Paradigms
Ineffective: It’s either your way or my
way, or a compromise.
Effective: Together we can create a
better way, a higher way.
Habit 6 Synergize
128. 124
Mauritius Island Demographics
Habit 6 Synergize
• Varied ethnic groups who maintain
differing religious practices and unique
cultural traditions.
• A Third-World nation with a rapidly
growing population.
• Geographically isolated with virtually no
natural resources.
133. 127
1. Check Willingness
Habit 6 Synergize
“Would you be willing to search for a
solution that is better than what either of
us has in mind?”
134. 128
2. Reflect Viewpoints
Habit 6 Synergize
“Would you agree to a simple ground
rule: I can’t make my point until I
restate yours to your satisfaction; you
can’t make your point until you restate
mine to my satisfaction?”
135. 128
The Talking Stick
Habit 6 Synergize
Only the person holding the
Talking Stick is allowed to
speak.
Once that person feels
understood, he or she passes
the Talking Stick to the next
person.
136. 129
3. Create New Ideas
Habit 6 Synergize
Once you’ve achieved mutual
understanding, propose and refine
alternatives. Keep refining and creating
until you reach a Third Alternative.
137. 129
How Do You Know?
Habit 6 Synergize
You’ve created a Third Alternative when
you both:
• Have a change of heart.
• Feel new energy and excitement.
• See things in a new way.
• Feel the relationship has transformed.
• End up with an idea that is better than
what either of you started with.
138. 129
xQ Tells You…
Habit 6 Synergize
36%
“Our communication
is energetic and creative, often
leading to new or better ideas.”
144. 139
Habit 7—Paradigms
Ineffective: I focus only on getting
the golden eggs.
Effective: I nurture the goose that
lays the golden eggs.
Habit 7 Sharpen the Saw
145. 139
xQ Tells You…
Habit 7 Sharpen the Saw
34%
“I plan activities that allow
me to continuously improve my
performance.”
147. 140
Sharpen the Saw Success Stories
What?
How?
Why?
Habit 7 Sharpen the Saw
148. 141
Physical
Habit 7 Sharpen the Saw
Assume you’ve had a heart
attack in the last month. How
would you approach exercise
and nutrition?
149. 142
Social / Emotional
Habit 7 Sharpen the Saw
Assume that everything
you say about people will be heard
by them. How might you choose
your words differently?
150. 143
Mental
Habit 7 Sharpen the Saw
Assume your knowledge
and skills will be obsolete in two
years. What new learning avenues
would you explore?
158. Discover Your Mission
Habit 2 Begin With the End in Mind
• Priorities: What matters most
• Principles: Character
• Talents: Strengths
• Roles: Key areas of life
• Responsibilities: Key contributions
160. Examples of Priorities
Habit 2 Begin With the End in Mind
Family Wealth Hobbies
Service Personal Renewal Reading
Health Creativity Children
Music / Art Friendships Beauty
Spiritual Fulfillment Community Creating Memories
Career School Sharing Wisdom
Contribution Fun / Enjoyment New Experiences
Financial Security Marriage Nature
Relationships Social Clubs Physical Fitness
Athletics Pets Education
162. Examples of Principles
Habit 2 Begin With the End in Mind
Responsibility Innovation Respect
Commitment Flexibility Trust
Humility Diversity Empathy
Courage Organization Passion
Consideration Cooperation Change
Compassion Character Gratitude
Love Competence Hard Work
Service Honesty Challenge
Faith Integrity Honor
Learning Renewal Purpose
Humor Obedience Mutual Benefit
Choice
163. Talents
Habit 2 Begin With the End in Mind
I will make a contribution
and enjoy life by using my
talents of…
164. Examples of Talents
Habit 2 Begin With the End in Mind
Strategic Thinking Creativity Leadership
Athletics Compassion Persistence
Friendliness Writing Playfulness
Public Speaking Reading Decision Making
Teaching Mathematics Patience
Communication Selling Humor
Art / Music Reasoning Mechanical Ability
Analysis Vision Positivity
Organization Enthusiasm
Technical Ability Relationship Building
165. Roles
Habit 2 Begin With the End in Mind
My key personal and
professional roles are…
166. Examples of Roles
Habit 2 Begin With the End in Mind
Professional Companion
Career Athlete
Husband Friend
Wife Sharpen the Saw
Key Relationship Student
Parent Leader
Family Member Community Member
Stepparent Financial Manager
Caregiver Coach
Church Member Manager
Home Manager Employee
167. Responsibilities
Habit 2 Begin With the End in Mind
I will live with purpose in the
following key roles of life:
As a manager, I will ________,
________, and _________.
168. Examples of Responsibilities
Habit 2 Begin With the End in Mind
Inspire Provide Opportunities Entertain
Empower Provide Support Share
Direct Serve Develop
Counsel Have Fun / Enjoy Life Provide Comfort
Make Money Learn Assist / Help
Make a Difference Grow Prepare
Contribute Love Teach
Facilitate Change Develop Relationships Model
Maximize Potential Keep Us Profitable Make Memories
Discover Lead Provide Security
Manage Finances Provide a Foundation
Improve Quality of Life
169. Draft of Personal Mission Statement
Habit 2 Begin With the End in Mind
The things that matter most to me are __________, _________,
_________, _________, and _____________.
The principles I will use to guide my life are_________,
_________, _________, _________, and _______.
I will make a contribution and enjoy life by using my talents of
_________, _________, and _____________.
I will live with purpose in the following key roles of life:
As a [role], I will [responsibilities] _________, _________, and
_________.
