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The art of good science writing
1. flickr.com/photos/srsphoto
The art of good science writing
Keith Bradnam
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0
Unported License.
Copyright Keith Bradnam 2013
2. Overview
I end up reading a lot of: reports; paper manuscripts; applications for grants, scholarships,
and grad school; resumes and other job enquiries; and of course lots of emails. A lot of these
are written by young scientists in our lab (http://korflab.ucdavis.edu) and I spot a lot of
similarities in how these written scientific texts are often rough around the edges. Often
bursting with potential, but needing some polish.
4. Why do you need
good science writing skills?
Grants
Papers
Presentations
Posters QEs
Resumes Blogging
Scholarships
Emails
I think some people forget that science communication is a key part of being a scientist.
Written communication takes many forms, and increasingly the scientists that actively blog/
tweet about their work are the ones at a comparative advantage to those who don't (all other
thigns being equal).
6. EVERY SENTENCE
SHOULD BE THERE
FOR A REASON!
Your text — be it a resume, grant, or grad school application — should have sort of goal. I.e.
you should be writing to secure a job interview, or get successfully funded. So every sentence
that you should write should be working towards that goal. If it isn't, then maybe it is not
really needed.
7. EVERY WORD
SHOULD BE THERE
FOR A REASON!
Sometimes there is a tendency to use two words when one would suffice. Sometimes we don't
think about whether that noun or adjective is the best possible one that helps build the story
that you want to tell.
8. EVERY PIECE OF
PUNCTUATION
SHOULD BE THERE
FOR A REASON!
Punctuation can assist your text, or it can get in the way and be obstructive. Don't use
punctuation characters if you don't really know what they are for.
9. flickr.com/photos/wrote
The River Cam in Cambridge. Calm water being rowed upon. A good rower will be smooth
and consistent, building up a good flow. A bad rower catches the surface of the water,
causing disruption and losing their rhythm. This is how I regard good and bad writing. There
is nothing more frustrating than having to stop and re-read a sentence because it confused
you or even it had just contained one jarring word.
10. Keith's red-ink-machine
I am always happy to proof-read material for students in the lab. But I don't hold back. I am
honest and detailed with my feedback because I want the students to succeed and if I think
that rewriting half of their text will help them succeed, then I will tell them so.
11. An example of one page of feedback I gave to one student.
14. Some specific examples
Hopefully the students, who will remain anonymous, won't mind be taking some examples
from some of the material I have proof-read. The examples will highlight different categories
of writing where there are clearly things that could be improved.
15. Titles
Does the title reflect the most important aspects
of your work?
Can you better sell your work (without lying)?
The title of your work, or even the subject line of your email, should get to the point and
focus on what is most important.
16. A bioinformatic approach to determining
the effect of DNA duplication
on the brain genome and epigenome.
This was the title of a research proposal for a Grad School Qualifying Exam (QE). There is
nothing terribly wrong about it. But...
17. A bioinformatic approach to determining
the effect of DNA duplication
on the brain genome and epigenome.
It leads with the focus of the techniques. Bioinformatics is becoming more and more
common, so should we really draw attention to it?
18. A wet-lab approach to determining
the effect of DNA duplication
on the brain genome and epigenome.
We would never do this for instance. But if bioinformatics is a crucial aspect of the project,
then maybe the title should allude to this.
19. A bioinformatic approach to determining
the effect of DNA duplication
on the brain genome and epigenome.
This could mean running a single Perl script
Another issue with this title is that refers to a singular approach. If you are doing more than
one thing...
20. Bioinformatic approaches to determining
the effect of DNA duplication
on the brain genome and epigenome.
...then maybe you should say so.
21. Novel bioinformatic approaches to determining
the effect of DNA duplication
on the brain genome and epigenome.
Novel, high-throughput, large-scale etc...
We can often better describe our work with adjectives that reveal more details about the
scope of the work. Don't do this if is not true, but if you have truly invented a novel method
(as opposed to just using someone else's software) then maybe the title can reflect this?
22. Utilizing novel bioinformatic techniques
to determine the effect of DNA duplication
on the brain genome and epigenome.
A suggested rewording of the first part of the title.
23. A bioinformatic approach to determining
the effect of DNA duplication
on the brain genome and epigenome.
Back to the original title. Anything else to improve on?
24. A bioinformatic approach to determining
the effect of DNA duplication
on the brain genome and epigenome.
'Effect' is singular. One approach that reveals one effect?
25. A bioinformatic approach to determining
the effect of DNA duplication
on the brain genome and epigenome.
'DNA duplication' could refer to a single base or the entire genome. The title gives no sense
of scale.
26. A bioinformatic approach to determining
the effect of chromosome abnormalities
on the brain genome and epigenome.
The student in question is also looking into chromosome rearrangements as well as regional
duplications. Therefore I suggested the title could encompass both parts as 'chromosome
abnormalities'. This reveals that the project is a) broader in scope and b) on a larger scale
than indicated before.
27. Overly long sentences
Assume that the reader can only take a breath
when you reach a period (or semi-colon)
Assume that the reader will pause at commas
Long sentences can be tough to read.
28. Aim 2C:
Determine changes in chromatin interactions using
Circularized Chromosome Conformation Capture (4C) with a
targeted focus on 15q domains demethylated in chromosome
15 duplicated cell line (SH-SY5Y-15M) compared with the
non-duplicated parental cell line (SH-SY5Y).
Like this one. Consider semi-colons or just breaking it into multiple sentences.
29. Avoid too much repetition
E.g. if you establish that you are studying the
human genome, don't need to keep on
mentioning 'human'.
Don't start a sentence with the same word that
ends the preceding sentence.
30. Chromosome pairing is a necessary requirement for
recombination and chromosome segregation, which is
particularly important in forming gametes that have the
correct number of chromosomes. Chromosomes
missegregating accounts for 30% of spontaneous
miscarriages in humans, and in the few instances that
missegregation is not lethal, detrimental genetic
disorders, such as Down syndrome (trisomy 21) or
Turner syndrome (monosomic for X) can occur.
This is just two sentences. Spot the repetitions?
31. Chromosome pairing is a necessary requirement for
recombination and chromosome segregation, which is
particularly important in forming gametes that have the
correct number of chromosomes. Chromosomes
missegregating accounts for 30% of spontaneous
miscarriages in humans, and in the few instances that
missegregation is not lethal, detrimental genetic
disorders, such as Down syndrome (trisomy 21) or
Turner syndrome (monosomic for X) can occur.
This can be hard to skim read
Don't assume that your reader/reviewer will be reading *every word* you write. If they skim
reading (because they have 30 other similar reports to read), then lots of repetitive text
makes it much harder to understand what you are writing about.
32. One cutting-edge application of this technology is
DNase-seq. In DNase-seq, the DNaseI enzyme cuts
DNaseI hypersensitivity sites (DHS) and then uses high-
throughput sequencing to sequence these sites
More repetition.
33. One cutting-edge application of this technology is
DNase-seq. In DNase-seq, the DNaseI enzyme cuts
DNaseI hypersensitivity sites (DHS) and then uses high-
throughput sequencing to sequence these sites
Sometimes we might be able to assume that something is common knowledge (e.g. that
DNaseI is an enzyme). We also can implicitly refer to things without having to name them
over and over again.
34. One cutting-edge application of this technology is
DNase-seq, where DNaseI hypersensitivity sites (DHS)
are cut and the resulting fragments are sequenced.
This is my suggested rewording.
35. Try to make sense
It may make sense, but only in your head
Remember, that others will not be so familiar
with the work you are writing about
The grammar should make sense as well as the
scientific content
This sounds so obvious, but it needs to be stated because a lot of what we write doesn't
make sense when inspected closely.
36. Chromosome pairing is a necessary requirement for
recombination and chromosome segregation, which is
particularly important in forming gametes that have
the correct number of chromosomes.
This all looks okay, but consider two words in the middle...
37. Chromosome pairing is a necessary requirement for
recombination and chromosome segregation, which is
particularly important in forming gametes that have
the correct number of chromosomes
If we simplify the first part of the sentence, you'll see why I find this unclear.
38. A is needed for B and C,
which is particularly important for D
What is important for D? Is it B, C, or B *and* C?
39. The HMM will search four different states based on
conditional probabilities for each state, starting with
background, increasing DNaseI digestion state,
decreasing DNaseI digestion state, and a footprint
DNAseI digestion state
The repetition here makes it unclear...
40. The HMM will search to four different states based
on conditional probabilities for each state, starting
with background, increasing DNaseI digestion state,
decreasing DNaseI digestion state, and a footprint
DNAseI digestion state
Could be written as a bullet point list, or split into multiple sentences ("Two of the four states
related to increasing or decreasing levels of DNaseI digestion. The third state...").
41. Milk has been previously investigated as it relates to
human health and infant nutrition, but there are many
factors that show it to be a useful tool to investigate the
evolutionary relationship with ancestral species.
At first glance this may read okay.
42. Milk has been previously investigated as it relates to
human health and infant nutrition, but there are many
factors that show it to be a useful tool to investigate the
evolutionary relationship with ancestral species.
The price of milk? The global trade of milk? The color?
But 'Milk' on its own is very vague.
43. Milk has been previously investigated as it relates to
human health and infant nutrition, but there are many
factors that show it to be a useful tool to investigate the
evolutionary relationship with ancestral species.
Can 'milk' be a useful tool? If so, any biological molecule/tissue could be thought of as being
a useful too. Can you use 'milk' itself to investigate evolutionary relationships? Or are you
really talking about a comparative analysis of the nucleotide or protein sequences in milk (or
in milk-producing genes)???
44. Don't be too dumb (or smart)
Don't use words if you don't fully understand
their meaning
Don't use long words or phrases just to impress
Be clear and concise if possible.
45. Currently, a comprehensive proteome of milk
has not been sufficiently developed, and there are
numerous barriers to its dissemination.
One of these words doesn't really fit.
46. Currently, a comprehensive proteome of milk
has not been sufficiently developed, and there are
numerous barriers to its dissemination.
47. Don't be vague
Be as specific as possible
Use correct scientific terminology when possible
Don't use colloquialisms
48. ATHB8 expression in procambium tissue
(provascular tissue arising from undifferentiated
ground tissue) is considered a point of no return
for vascular development.
Spot the non-scientific phrase?
49. ATHB8 expression in procambium tissue
(provascular tissue arising from undifferentiated
ground tissue) is considered a point of no return
for vascular development.
The big problem with colloquial phrases is that can be highly subjective.
50. The complexities of milk can be solved using
comparative proteomics, and the extent of its
importance in primate evolution will demonstrate
one facet of species divergence.
Again, this might read okay at first glance. But maybe some words are catching in your brain?
51. The complexities of milk can be solved using
comparative proteomics, and the extent of its
importance in primate evolution will demonstrate
one facet of species divergence.
Can you solve a complexity?
52. Furthermore, the methods developed will be
applicable to many other research questions and
can be most advantageous when working with
genomes that are less annotated as in the case of
non-human model organisms.
Something is a bit vague here...
53. Furthermore, the methods developed will be
applicable to many other research questions and
can be most advantageous when working with
genomes that are less annotated as in the case of
non-human model organisms.
Can't you specify or give at least one example?
54. Advances in sequencing, computer, and mass
spectrometry technologies have revolutionized
biology, and we can now ask questions that would
have been considered unattainable a decade ago.
This whole sentence is potentially redundant. Because?
55. Advances in sequencing, computer, and mass
spectrometry technologies have revolutionized
biology, and we can now ask questions that would
have been considered unattainable a decade ago.
This was also true a decade ago!
Science always improves and gives us new opportunities. Maybe there was a specific question
that we can now ask (related to these techniques), but it wasn't stated here.
56. Don't sell yourself short
Don't dwell on negative aspects of project
Avoid negative sounding words
Don't be too narrow in your focus
57. • I have familiarity with Microsoft Word.
• I currently have no programming experience,
but am keen to learn.
A fictional example from a resume or CV. As a side-note, you really don't *ever* need to list
Microsoft Word as a skill. But what about that second point? Do you want to draw attention to
a complete lack of experience? You could start learning something *today* and then you
could honestly say...
58. • I have recently started learning Perl and hope to
take a free online course on basic Unix skills in
the near future
Better. But still a bit weak sounding in places.
59. • I have recently started learning Perl and hope to
take a free online course on basic Unix skills in
the near future
You 'hope' doesn't sound all that positive. Why mention that the course is 'free'? Why use
words like 'basic' that have negative connotations. Why be vague about 'the near future'???
60. • I have recently started learning Perl and will be
taking an online course on essential Unix skills
More direct and has more impact. 'Essential' sounds better than 'basic' but means the same
thing.
61. If we fail to achieve aim 3 we will consider
our lives to be a miserable failure.
A fictional example.
62. If we fail to achieve aim 3 we will consider
our lives to be a miserable failure.
Words like 'fail' almost always leave negative impressions in the mind of the reader (even if
only at a subliminal level).
63. We will focus our efforts on the first two aims.
Rather than dwell on what might happen if you don't complete aim 3, you could instead make
a strength of only doing two things.
65. Your 1st draft will never be the best version
It's okay to admit this.
66. Your 2nd draft will never be the best version
It's okay to admit this too.
67. Your 3rd draft will never be the best version
Though it might be tolerable
Slow but steady improvements are the name of the game.
68. Your last draft will never be the best version
But that's okay. Life goes on.
Whatever you write can almost always be improved with time. We don't have the luxury of
infinite time, but we can accept that several rounds of revision will improve things. Especially
if we can sleep on it between revisions.
70. Get someone else to read it
Someone in your field, and...
someone outside of your field
People outside your field can often bring some very fresh perspectives on your work.
71. Start writing as soon as possible
Give yourself the most time possible to revise
your text
Expect that there will be multiple revisions
72. Write to please people
Write something that you would want to read if
it wasn't your own research
If there are review criteria (e.g. grants), write
something that satisfies those criteria
Make life easier for your reviewers
There are often checklists that you can work to when writing (especially for grants).
73. Review criteria:
1) address significance of this research
This work is significant because...
Grant reviewers don't want to hunt to see if you did mention the criteria somewhere. Make it
obvious!
74. Make it clear
Use whitespace
Use subheadings
Use figures
If you have a one-page proposal to write, don't assume that you should use every inch of that
page. Also, don't keep on reducing font size to fit more text in. Adding subheadings can
break up a page and make it easier for the reader to see where you are going with the text.
Figures don't have to be a whole-page affair. Embed small figures where you would otherwise
need a thousand words to explain what is happening.
75. Think of who will read it
They will probably be reading lots of other
resumes/grants/emails etc.
They will be pushed for time
Do not assume they will read everything!
Most reviewers are going to be extremely busy. They may, with the best will in the world,
*want* to read every word you wrote, but may simply not have enough hours in the day to do
so.
76. Learn the tricks of your trade
Colons vs semi-colons
Hyphens vs en-dashes vs em-dashes
Avoid double spaces!
Learn about hard (non-breaking) spaces
You should understand the differences of these things and when to use them.
77. Genome studies of the budding yeast Saccharomyces Cerevisae have
led to many insights concerning fungal genome evolution. The
genome was sequenced between 1993-1995 - though corrections
continue to be made to the underlying sequence - and the original
sequencing revealed the presence of ~6,000 genes. Other high-
throughput methodologies have continued to shed light on the S.
cerevisiae genome, and it remains a useful model organism.
Some example fictional text with numerous problems.
78. Genome studies of the budding yeast Saccharomyces Cerevisae have
led to many insights concerning fungal genome evolution. The
genome was sequenced between 1993-1995 - though corrections
continue to be made to the underlying sequence - and the original
sequencing revealed the presence of ~6,000 genes. Other high-
throughput methodologies have continued to shed light on the S.
cerevisiae genome, and it remains a useful model organism.
Species names should be italicized and only have the genus capitalized. Don't put double
spaces after periods. This is a hang-up from the days of mechanical typewriters. Use en-
dashes to separate numerical ranges. Use em-dashes for when you want to indicate a break
in thought. Use non-breaking spaces (hard spaces) to keep species names on the same line.
79. Genome studies of the budding yeast Saccharomyces cerevisae has
led to many insights concerning fungal genome evolution. The
genome was sequenced between 1993–1995 — though corrections
continue to be made to the underlying sequence — and the original
sequencing revealed the presence of ~6,000 genes. Other high-
throughput methodologies have continued to shed light on the
S. cerevisiae genome, and it remains a useful model organism.
En-dashes and em-dashes have various keyboard shortcuts that will produce them. Non-
breaking spaces can sometimes be done with option-space (on a Mac) in programs like
Microsoft Word.