1. THE MINDFUL TEEN:
A PREVENTIVE MEASURE FOR ADOLESCENT SUICIDE
by
Julie Brody
A thesis submitted
in partial fulfillment of the requirements
for the degree of Master of Arts
in Women’s Spirituality
Institute of Transpersonal Psychology
Palo Alto, California
June 6, 2012
I certify that I have read and approved the content and presentation of this thesis:
________________________________________________
__________________
D’vorah J. Grenn, Ph.D., Committee Chairperson Date
________________________________________________
__________________
Mandisa Wood, M.A., M.F.A., Committee Member Date

2. ________________________________________________
__________________
Heather Lovig, M.A., Peer Review Date
ii

3. Copyright
©
Julie Brody
2012
All Rights Reserved
Formatted according to the Publication Manual of the
American Psychological Association, 6th Edition
iii

4. Abstract
The Mindful Teen:
A Preventive Measure for Adolescent Suicide
by
Julie Brody
One of the saddest and most mystifying deaths is death by suicide. Palo Alto, California,
experienced a cluster of violent teen suicides in 2009 when several youths walked in front of the
train that runs through town. The community was in shock and unable to grasp how this could
possibly happen. Many other communities around the world have shared in the tragic loss of
teens due to suicide. Resources and understanding remain scarce. In this paper, I present positive
reasons for teaching mindfulness meditation to young people in order to give them a different
perspective and a tool for dealing with anxiety, isolation, depression, and stress. I discuss some
of the reasons why people, particularly adolescents, commit suicide. By mindfulness as a
practice, I mean using the energy and power of awareness and attention as a mindset through
which to view the world. In this work, I investigated the likelihood and effectiveness of
instituting mindfulness practice into the school day for children and adolescents using a heuristic
methodology. In my opinion, transpersonal research methods are the most appropriate for this
extremely emotionally charged subject as the transpersonal research method expands the usual
dimensions for studying human experience by employing alternative modes of awareness and
intuition. I believe children need to learn to how to manage their emotions and learn life skills as
well as learn other important subjects during the school day. Mindfulness helps people to accept
whatever it is that they are experiencing—their joy and blessings, and also their disappointment,
their pain, and their misfortunes. The awareness and openness brought forth through mindfulness
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5. allows people to access their own intuitive healing. Teaching mindfulness includes concepts such
as wholeness and interconnectedness. My findings showed me that there is already much work
being done to institute mindfulness and meditation into the school day for children and that there
is great validity in this practice. Suicide is a difficult subject to approach and we need to take
action, try unique approaches, such as mindfulness practice, and give voice to the silence and
fear that surrounds the issue of teen suicide in communities and schools. I hope my thesis will
serve to transform the participants, the readers, and me so that the topic of inquiry will stay in the
consciousness of all.
v

6. Table of Contents
Abstract ………………………….……………………………………………………….... iii
Chapter 1: Introduction ……………………………………..…………………….……….. 1
Teen Suicide ………………………………………..…….……………….……… 2
Mindfulness Practice …………………………...……...………………………..… 6
The Absent Divine Feminine as Mother ….…………...………………………….. 7
The Author’s Personal Interest in the Topic ……………………………..……….. 10
Overview of the Study and Procedure… ..………………………………. …….… 12
Chapter 2: Literature Review …………..………………………………………………….. 14
Psychology of Suicide …………...……………………………………………...... 15
Issues the Adolescent Faces in Society Today ………………………………….... 17
Mindfulness as a Tool for Teenage Suicide ……….…………………………….. 19
Chapter 3: Research Method ……………...………………………………………………. 25
Heuristic Method ………………………...……………………………………….. 57
Description of the Participants…………………………………………………….. 33
Description of Procedure …………………………...…………………………….. 35
Chapter 4: Psychology and Psychopathology of Suicide…………………………………… 37
Chapter 5: Teen Culture and Issues and the Community’s Response .....………………….. 45
Chapter 6: Mindfulness Intervention as a Preventative Measure……......………………….. 62
Chapter 7: Absence of the Divine Feminine …………………..……......………………….. 80
References ………………………………………………….………..……………………… 97
Appendix A: Coresearcher Invitation Letter 1 ……………………………………………... 101
Appendix B: Coresearcher Invitation Letter 2 .…………………………………………….. 102
Appendix C: Coresearcher Invitation Letter 3 …….………..………………..………..…… 103
Appendix D: Interview Questions ….….….….….….….….….….….….….....…………… 104
Appendix E: Coresearcher Invitation Letter for Teen ….….….….…………..….………… 105
Appendix F: Interview Questions (Female Student)….….….….…....………..………….... 106
Appendix G: Coresearcher Invitation Letter for Teen .………..…...…………..…………... 107
Appendix H: Interview Questions (Male Student) ….….….….……..…………………….. 108
Appendix I: Informed Consent Form …….….…………..….….….……..…..….….…….... 109
Appendix J: Informed Consent Form for Teen Participants …..……….….…...….……...... 111
Appendix K: Ethics Committee Form..…..…………..……….….….……..….….…...……. 113
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7. 1
Chapter 1: Introduction to the Thesis
Daddy, Daddy, where can you be?
Oh Daddy, could you be hiding from me?
I look and look but it’s you I cannot find.
When I see you from the window, it’s like you’ve lost your mind.
You are screaming at mom, spittle spewing from your teeth
—you frighten me Daddy, I’m scared of what’s underneath.
You look so angry and yet so sad.
I know this also makes you feel so bad.
Daddy, Daddy, where can you be?
You’re lost to your Self and you are lost to me.
(Julie Brody, 2012)
As a young child, I was baffled by my dad’s erratic behavior. When I watched this scene
through a bedroom window, the movie-like quality of it was a slow-paced moving picture that I
did not forget. The sound was mostly absent from where I watched and all I could feel was the
pain. Dad appeared to move in slow motion. I later watched as he sat in the back yard alone,
immobilized, head in his hands. This image has never left me. I did not just see my dad sitting at
the picnic table, I witnessed the red flames of anger as they dissipated and the resulting deep
sadness, pain, and most of all, debilitating shame. Although I did not know anything at all about
the human brain or psychology at the time, it was evident to me that he was despondent. I felt a
sense of dread seeing him like this. I had never known anyone who had committed suicide, but
something told me to beware; this man might take his own life. I worried about my dad for many
years, always fearing that he might end his life.
Fortunately, my dad did not take his own life. By the time I reached high school, he was
diagnosed with bipolar disorder. During the years of my childhood, mental illness was
considered shameful and was rarely talked about. It was also shameful for an individual to see a
psychiatrist, to admit to a mental illness, or to receive any type of counseling or treatment. It was
almost unheard of for the family to seek help. Because of the desire to avoid shame, my dad

8. 2
suffered and the family suffered. It was not until recently, when the local community
experienced a series of teen suicides that I began re-experiencing the haunting memories of my
dad; the gut reaction I felt when I heard about these children was comparable to the fear I felt as
a child.
I had some personal revelations when I embarked on my research. When I first found
myself drawn to write my thesis on the tragic events of teen suicide, I felt deep stirrings of
sadness and fears of being unable to face the topic myself. I was looking for some sort of
comfort from others when I spoke about the subject. As time moved forward, I found that I could
become energized and much more positive; instead of being intimidated and feeling as if I did
not have the strength or right to take on this topic, I began to feel that just by paying attention to
it, I was helping to bring awareness to the suffering of our youth. I now believe that each small
positive action has a ripple effect into the community.
In the recent bestseller, The Practical Neuroscience of Buddha’s Brain, by Rick Hanson and
Richard Mendius (2009), the authors begin by saying, “What flows through your mind sculpts
your brain. Thus, you can use your mind to change your brain for the better—which will benefit
your whole being, and every other person whose life you touch” (Hanson & Medius, 2009, p. 6).
Teen Suicide
In Palo Alto, California four teens committed suicide by stepping in front of a train. In
May, 2009, one boy from high-performing Gunn High School killed himself by putting himself
on the tracks as Cal Train, the high speed Silicon Valley Commuter Train barreled down the
tracks. Three other 17-year-old students from Gunn also committed suicide on the same location
within a 6-month time period. When I heard about these events, I was shocked and deeply
saddened. I simply could not imagine what might drive these young people to this kind of

9. 3
despair and I could not sleep at night thinking about the pain that their families and friends were
experiencing.
My children go to Menlo-Atherton High School (M-A) in Atherton, California. Menlo-
Atherton is a unique high school. It is a diverse public high school with 2,000 students from very
different backgrounds located within an affluent community, Atherton, California and bordering
a very low income community, East Palo Alto, California. There was an earlier suicide at M-A in
2007. I recall how shocking and scary this occasion was. I was at the Senior Breakfast, a
celebration for the graduating senior class when several girls came in crying. As I walked them
to the Guidance Office, they told me that a friend had committed suicide. I was reeling in
disbelief but trying to handle the grief that the girls were feeling. It is very difficult for schools to
know how to handle the aftermath of a suicide. There have been cases in other communities
where the attention from the death of one youth has seemed to be a catalyst for another
adolescent to commit suicide. Soon, the community was pulling together to try to address the
grief and sadness that the parents and families were feeling. However, information was scarce as
the police stated that publicity needed to be limited for fear of a growing “suicide cluster.”
One study found that between 1% and 5% of all teen suicides in the U.S. occur in
clusters, taking the lives of 100 to 200 teenagers a year. Suicide contagion, another term which is
seen in the literature has involved prison inmates, marines, religious sects and Native Americans,
but in the U.S. teens and young adults make up most of the clusters, according to Suicide and
Mental Health Association International (http://www.iasp.info). Clusters have included friends or
acquaintances from a single school or church and teens who have never had any direct contact
with one another, according to the organization. Some share an “environmental stressor,” the
association said. The Centers for Disease Control reported that four teenagers in a New Jersey

10. 4
suburb committed suicide on March 11, 1987, by locking themselves in a garage with a car
engine running. Six days later, a 17-year-old boy and a woman, 20, attempted suicide in the same
garage by the same means, the Centers reported. The garage door was later removed.
“Anecdotal evidence suggests that suicides early in a cluster may influence the persons
who commit suicide later in the cluster,” the centers reported. “There is also research
evidence that exposure to a suicide that was not part of a cluster may lead certain persons
to take their own lives.” (Dolan, 2009, para. 10)
Over the last few years, as my own four children navigated the murky waters of middle
school and high school, I began to gain a new perspective on the life of the average teenager in
the community. Their day begins early, well before 8:00 a.m.; they are in classes all day long,
bustling through the halls and negotiating social, physical, and intellectual changes. The
afternoon might be filled with sports, music practice, or work. Each night there is at least 2 to 3
hours of homework. Family time starts to take a back seat to the onslaught of activity. No matter
how hard a parent or child might try, there is barely enough time to take a breath. Performance
anxiety increases for standardized tests as the scores are an indicator of academic achievement
for the first year in college. Competition increases as students prepare for these tests. Community
service work is expected, not always for personal enrichment, but to pad the college application.
There is a constant level of tension around achievement. I remember when my first child left for
college thinking, “I want her childhood back!”
As a parent, I feel that children could be better supported to explore and share their inner
feelings and turmoil. Our current education system is more focused on academic issues than on
learning strategies for living a healthy and satisfying life. The need exists to address this lack,
and to make changes in the educational curriculum. This change would include taking time
within their elementary, middle school, and high school education to help children understand
their feelings and to make sense of the world around them. Our culture teaches us to look outside

11. 5
of ourselves for our value and worth. Learning to trust inner wisdom and to believe in inherent
worth needs to be addressed as early as possible.
The preteen and teen years are especially susceptible for comparison to others and
feelings of inadequacy or self-consciousness. Rituals that address the pivotal transition from
childhood to young adult are not used very often in our busy culture. The adolescent is often left
to try to understand many of the changes they are experiencing in isolation. When children
choose to die, and no one is able to talk about it, something is very wrong. Indeed, adults and
children are afraid to address these very painful and shocking events, and as a result, shame and
isolation result from their hidden emotions.
As I gathered research for my thesis, I interviewed Cheri Huber, Zen Buddhist teacher,
writer and speaker, Roni Gillenson, and program director for Adolescent Counseling Services,
and Gina Biegel, whose focus is teaching MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction) to teens.
I interviewed two high school students from Menlo-Atherton High School who took a
Mindfulness class with Dr. Amy Saltzman of Still Quiet Place. I, along with other parents, were
instrumental in bringing Amy in to teach the mindfulness class while I was a parent at the school.
I give a more descriptive account of the people that I interviewed in Chapter 3, Description of the
Participants.
This thesis explores mindfulness as a tool to be learned in the school day to help students
deal with the pressures placed on them by the outside world. Skills can be taught in a simple and
straightforward way if we engage in a new way of viewing the mind and the emotions.
Mindfulness is described as “paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present
moment, and nonjudgmentally” (Kabat-Zinn, 1994, p. 4).

12. 6
Mindfulness Practice
Mindfulness practice has been demonstrated to help reduce stress, to help gain an
increased awareness and acknowledgment of thoughts as “just thoughts” (Kabat-Zinn, 2009,
p. 295), and one can begin to overcome the fear and anxiety that often exacerbate problems. In
his book, Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress,
Pain, and Illness, Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn (2009) referred to his way of healing not as a way of
coping, but as a way of being and of “embracing the full catastrophe” (p. 6). When people can
begin to learn that they may have thoughts that are random, ineffective, and even dangerous, and
that these thoughts can be examined in the present moment, they are more likely to take a step
back, distance themselves from the harmful thoughts, and are more capable of ending a cycle
that may continue on to negative behaviors. I believe this approach could potentially save lives in
my community.
If mindfulness were embraced along with academic education, children and teens could
develop an internal compass with which to negotiate the difficult climate of adolescence.
Children deserve the time it would take during the school day to learn about inner strength and
capacity for wholeness, not just academics. The soul as well as the mind needs to be nurtured
and educated. Mindfulness as a tool for suicidal thoughts and behavior will be discussed more in
depth in Chapter 6.
The Absent Divine Feminine as Mother
As I started my Master’s Program in Women’s Spirituality at the Institute of
Transpersonal Psychology (soon to become Sofia University), I began reading about ancient
goddess cultures. I learned about the egalitarian nature of those early times and the nurturing
qualities of female-centered civilizations. In these societies, people took care of each other; food

13. 7
and shelter were shared with those who needed it. As a culture, this was the survival mode of the
time. The emphasis was on the mother’s ability to protect and nurture life and to regenerate.
Heide Goettner-Abendroth (2009) wrote in the introduction of Societies of Peace, “In
matriarchies women’s power is counterbalanced by men’s power, so that neither gender
dominates the other. The governing principle of these societies is balance, rather than
dominance” (p. 1). In matriarchal societies, females have central roles in leadership and control
of property. These societies are based more on gender equality. “The resulting social structure is
non-violent, and enables a peaceful life for all” (Goettner-Abendroth, 2009, p. 1).
For me, the Divine Feminine is the principle of birth, transformation and rebirth, the
nurturing and sustaining influence which is often missing in today’s society. I believe this can be
witnessed by the lack of harmony in economic, political, social, and cultural aspects. The
nurturing aspect of the Divine Mother can help heal the earth and when balanced with the male
energy, heal the individual. Mindfulness seeks to join the anima (female principle) with the
animus (male principle) within the human psyche. By looking within, and understanding
consciousness to be a balanced energy of both inner parents, mother and father, the individual
can work toward wholeness. For example, Gandhi credited his wife, Kasturba, with teaching him
the transformative power of nonviolence. Together, they changed the world, liberating men and
women alike. I discuss the concept of a more balanced society that values the Divine Feminine
later in this paper.
In addressing the adolescent suicides, I spent numerous hours analyzing and becoming
familiar with the cultural messages that are pervasive in the Atherton, California area and in our
society in general. The Atherton and Palo Alto communities are located near Silicon Valley,
where the world’s largest technology corporations are. Much of this area is affluent but East Palo

14. 8
Alto is directly “across the tracks” and has experienced profound crime and poverty along with a
high homicidal rate. Things are improving in East Palo Alto, but the communities are on very
different economic levels. In our fast-paced, achievement-oriented, aggressive, and competitive
Western culture, we forget to address the internal world: the place where the healing of wounds
may begin to take place.
Over the last few years, I have been struck by the repeated suicides in my local area, as
noted earlier; last summer, the issue became prominent in my personal life. One of my son’s best
friends, on his way to his first day as a senior in high school, left home and texted that he was
going to commit suicide by jumping off a bridge. Suddenly, I was involved directly, as I was a
close friend of the family. This boy had grown up in my home since kindergarten, a lovely,
thoughtful, intelligent boy, from a loving, attentive family. He left home on two occasions,
calling home and saying that he was considering ending his life. He was found and hospitalized.
He was then in the care of a psychiatrist and given medication, and just as his parents were
making the decision to have him taken to a care facility, out of state, he left for school one
morning and disappeared. I spent the next few days with his mother and father calling, searching,
and trying to figure out how to go about finding a missing child. I suddenly found myself right in
the middle of a possible teen suicide. The pain that his parents were enduring was crushing. I can
only imagine what this boy must have been feeling as he left home. I called every online service
that I could find for missing children. He was found, unharmed, in Seattle by the police and
personally hired private agents. The private agency picked him up and he was immediately taken
to a treatment facility for psychiatric care in Utah. His family could have easily lost him,
especially if they had not had the resources to hire a private intelligence agency to find him.
An infant is completely dependent on its mother, father, or other caregiver when it first

15. 9
enters the world. As childhood progresses, there are many developmental stages that occur, and
the child needs to be supported throughout each passing stage. Teenagers are often
misunderstood, and adolescence can be met with bewilderment and hostility. We do not often
acknowledge this stage of life for the child. Children are suddenly experiencing many changes
and are often mystified by their own bodies and emotional reactions. Parents are fearful that their
teenager will make unhealthy choices. The changes occurring in teenagers, both physical and
emotional, are often misunderstood by both the teens themselves, and their parents. They are
often unprepared to face the physical and psychological changes that are rapidly occurring.
The Author’s Personal Interest in the Topic
Out of compassion I destroy the darkness of their ignorance.
From within them I light the lamp of wisdom
and dispel all darkness from their lives.
Bhagavad Gita (1985/2007, p. 201)
As a child growing up in Chicago, I loved to lay on my bed at night and listen to the train
run through town. Its lonely whistle and clickety-clack was a soothing sound. I would sometimes
dream of jumping on the train as children did in the movies to run away from home. One night,
now as a mother living in California, I noticed that I listened to the sounds of the train in our
town and it made me nostalgic to hear the same sound I remembered from my childhood. One
night, I bolted up in bed, realizing that the sound now made me think of the children that had
ended their lives on our train track. My heart hammered in my chest and I felt sick to my
stomach. I knew that I needed to pay attention to this signal.
Personal Experience in the Community
I have been an active volunteer in the public schools in this community since my children
were in elementary school. I have been the Parent Teacher Association (PTA) President in both
the middle school and the local high school. I was interested in finding out how children can be

16. 10
better served and how a difference can be made in their stress levels, their sense of self, and their
overall well-being. I have been a longtime volunteer for a program called Challenge Day.
Challenge Day is an outside organization that comes to a high school for one day and works with
the freshman class. Their mission statement is “for every child to live in a world where they feel
safe, loved, and celebrated” (“Challenge Day,” 2012, para. 3). This program is fairly expensive
and is funded by the school’s PTA. The school considers this expenditure a luxury, but I believe
it is one of the most important days that a student may experience during her or his high school
years.
Last year, a film, The Race to Nowhere (Abeles, 2010), was circulated in the local
community. This film addresses the pressures faced by American school children and their
teachers in a system and culture obsessed with the illusion of achievement, competition, and the
pressure to perform. The end of the film was dedicated to a young girl who had committed
suicide. Her mother did not see the warning signs, as she was doing well in school and seemed to
be “fine.” This film was enlightening about the pressures adolescent children face, but it did not
address ways the problems might be handled.
Having worked for many years as a Registered Nurse, I have been interested in all forms
of healing. I have worked as a direct care volunteer for Mission Hospice of San Mateo,
California, and have been interested in elder care. I now want to center my energy in learning
how to better serve the adolescent population and how parents and teachers can address some of
the issues that might lead to suicide.
I have known many families who have struggled with their teenager’s depression. Its
prevalence is unnerving. Parents often do not know who to turn to or how to reach their child.
Children feel lost and bewildered, are often over scheduled, and do not feel they have the time to

17. 11
get help.
Overview of the Study and Procedure
I explored mindfulness as a part of the school day to help lessen the anxiety and tension
that adolescents face. For my thesis, I looked more deeply into the community’s experience with
teen suicide. I investigated the human experience of suicide in this paper by such methods as
reviewing books and articles on the subject. I conducted interviews with adults who have done
work with mindfulness or have experience in psychology with adolescents, and with teens who
have had an introduction to mindfulness. I looked at recent suicide statistics and prevalence, how
the suicides have been handled, what the current options are for support, and some of the
programs in the Palo Alto area that are available for teens.
I investigated mindfulness and dialectical behavior therapy (MDBT) in dealing with the
school-age population. MDBT combines cognitive-based therapy and mindful awareness
practice from a Buddhist meditative practice. MDBT has been shown to be helpful for emotional
self-regulation and particularly helpful in patients who exhibit self-harming behavior or suicidal
tendencies.
As noted previously, I helped to facilitate the mindfulness class at Menlo-Atherton High
School, taught by Dr. Amy Saltzman of Still Quiet Place in Menlo Park. The students were
identified as “at risk.” These children may have difficult economic issues, family dysfunction,
and/or are below the academic level for their age group. Some of the kids in the class had spent
time in jail or had a parent in jail. This was the first time that they had been taught mindfulness
skills. I interviewed two students, one male and one female, for this paper to determine their
feelings about their lives and taking the 8-week mindfulness course.

18. 12
Chapter 2: Literature Review
There are three main parts to this literature review. First, I discuss the psychology of
suicide and look at some of the literature discussing the difficult work of analyzing, suicidal
behavior. I include a more in-depth section on the psychology and psychopathology of suicide in
Chapter 4.
Second, I look at current cultural modes and attitudes and also community and national
organizations that tackle adolescent issues today. I look at resources that discuss our current
society’s approach to these problems. I touch briefly on the effects of the media, bullying, the
internet, homosexuality, eating disorders, gender issues, religion, and achievement oriented
cultural standards. I discuss films currently being shown to parents and high school students, and
organizations and schools that are working to benefit struggling youth.
Third, I give particular attention to the literature discussing mindfulness as an
intervention which could serve as a preventative measure for suicide. I have defined mindfulness
and how it can be used in school systems and for the individual. I have examined sources on
mindfulness practice and Dialectical Behavior Therapy as a means of treatment, as well as
looked at some of the ways the local community is currently addressing this difficult teen suicide
issue. I have cited some of the programs that have recently been offered in the community
addressing the difficult issues that adolescents face. My focus is to explain the different views on
what might be occurring for individuals that causes them to consider suicide, and how
mindfulness might be an effective tool for the child and adolescent in the school system.
Included later in this thesis are resources that provide information for the discussion of suicide
prevention and the effect on students and parents in the aftermath of a suicide.
This review includes primary and secondary scholarly sources on the topic of

19. 13
mindfulness, as well as a few popular books and newspaper articles. I discuss the general
philosophy, different areas in our country where mindfulness is currently being used, significant
literature that shows results from mindfulness classes, and how it can be effectively used for
children and teenagers.
Psychology of Suicide
The English poet and author, William Cowper (as cited in Jamison, 1999) wrote,
“Encompassed with a thousand dangers, weary, faint, trembling with a thousand terrors, in a
fleshy tomb, am buried above ground” (p. 10). This painful passage was written by Cowper after
one of his suicide attempts. Kay Redfield Jamison (1999), in her book, Night Falls Fast, looked
at the many aspects of suicide, along with the author’s own private struggles with suicide over
the years. She discussed the history and psychology of suicide, and addressed treatment and
prevention. According to Jamison, suicide in the teen population has tripled over the last 45
years. She noted that
it is possible, with what we now know, to provide comfort and remedy to stop at least
some of the butchery. Most suicides, although by no means all, can be prevented. The
breach between what we know and do is lethal. (Jamison, 1999, p. 5)
Jamison (1999) also researched psychopathology and suicide, neuropathology, the
treatment and prevention of suicide, and the effects of society in this book. She also recounted
her own personal history with bipolar illness and thoughts of suicide. She wrote,
I have also known suicide in a more private, awful way, and I trace the loss of
fundamental innocence to the day that I first considered suicide as the only solution
possible to an unendurable level of mental pain. Until that time I had taken for granted,
and loved more than I knew, a temperamental lightness of mood and a fabulous
expectation of life. I knew death only in the most abstract of senses; I never imagined it
would be something to arrange or seek. (Jamison, 1999, p. 5)
Jamison obviously had firsthand experience in talking about suicidal feelings. It is
impossible to guess what others have felt, but being able to relate in a personal way made

20. 14
Jamison’s research all the more poignant. It is such a tough subject and one that we will probably
never truly understand. There is also a great reluctance for people to actually talk about suicide.
The Surgeon General of the United States, Dr. David Satcher (2003) stated, “As a
society, we do not like to talk about suicide” (p. 264). In Chapter 10 of Night Falls Fast, Jamison
(1999) wrote that
the suicide of an adolescent is often considered to be a newsworthy event, and when
handled in an insensitive or sensationalist manner by the media it can be a further source
of pain and embarrassment to the siblings and parents. (p. 298)
It is tragic to imagine a situation in which your child or your sibling is dead and besides dealing
with the horrendous grief, you are embarrassed? The fact that we cannot talk about suicide or
look at suicide, makes it a shameful event, instead of just a sad and tragic event, and makes it
more difficult for us to deal with ways to help prevent it.
Thomas Joiner (2005), author of Why People Die by Suicide, lost his dad to suicide. This
compelled him to work to understand what would drive a person to take his or her own life. He
wrote about the absence of research on suicide and how odd this is, considering that it kills
millions. He noted that “the science about suicide is not especially well developed and has
certainly not permeated the public consciousness” (Joiner, 2005, p. 25). Albert Einstein said, “A
problem cannot be solved by the same consciousness that created it” (as cited in McFarlane,
2002, p. 126). In this respect, problems must be looked at from an entirely different
consciousness. It does not appear that people are doing enough in society to take the time to
address the subject of suicide and the effects of such events with the youth.

21. 15
Issues the Adolescent Faces in Society Today
I reviewed books that are gender specific, such as Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of
Adolescent Girls by Mary Pipher (1994), and Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of
Boys by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson (2000). Pipher and Kindlon and Thompson
explore the world of the adolescent male and female in the culture today. Both of these books
give an in depth account of the conditioning that affects the psyche of the adolescent child. The
back cover copy of Pipher’s book illustrates the main points that Pipher (1994) raises,
Girls are crashing and burning in a “developmental Bermuda Triangle,” they are coming
of age in a media-saturated culture preoccupied with unrealistic ideals of beauty and
images of dehumanized sex, a culture rife with addictions and sexually transmitted
diseases. They are losing their resiliency and optimism in a “girl poisoning” culture that
propagated values at odds with those necessary to survive. (Back cover)
Both authors of the book Raising Cain, Kindlon and Thompson (2000), stated that as they did
their research and examined their own boyhoods, they came to the same conclusions about how
the American culture is railroading boys into lives of isolation, shame, and anger.
This book’s inquiry has been guided by two basis questions: What do boys need to
become emotionally whole men? And what is the cost to boys of a culture that suppresses
their emotional life in service to the rigid ideals of manhood? (Kindlon & Thompson,
2000, p. xiii)
I think that this book illustrates how the absence of the Divine Feminine is damaging to
boys and men. Just as women are marginalized in our society, boys are not able to develop their
wholeness and are suffering from the effects of the imbalance as well. Boys are taught to ignore
or suppress their feelings and vulnerabilities. By hiding from this side of their nature, difficult
symptoms arise when they are not allowed to express all of their feelings.
In their book, So Sexy, So Soon, Diane E. Levin and Jean Kilbourne (2009) discussed
how children today are encountering sexual messages and images that they do not have the
emotional maturity to understand. Children are good at imitating behaviors and it is a primary

22. 16
way in which they learn. Girls see roles modeled for them in movies and magazines and learn
that their value is determined by their appearance. Boys are conditioned to judge girls on this
type of standard. Media images can portray images of sexual behavior devoid of emotions and
that sex is the defining activity in relationships. “They learn that sex is often linked to violence.
And they learn to associate physical appearance and buying the right products not only with
being sexy but also with being successful as a person” (Levin & Kilbourne, 2009, p. 5). One can
see how young people shape their ideas of gender, sexual attitudes, and values by what the media
propagates. If personal value depends on outside sources, much suffering will be experienced.
Mindfulness training is instructive in teaching people to honor themselves, and allowing them to
see that measuring their self-worth, based on things outside of themselves, is never the road to
fulfillment. There are films available and organizations that work with teens that I will describe
and discuss further in Chapter 5.
Mindfulness as a Tool for Teenage Suicide
Full Catastrophe Living, by Jon Kabat-Zinn (2009), is a book about mind/body medicine.
Dr. Kabat-Zinn described his mindfulness-based stress reduction program. This book addresses
fear, panic, anxiety, and stress reactivity. His program provides a tool that might be beneficial if
taught to children and adolescents during the academic school day in small doses. It is a
nondenominational approach to a type of spirituality that can be brought to children in the midst
of their day, and that can make a difference in the quality of their lives. Joan Borysenko,
president of Mind/Body Health Sciences, wrote in Kabat-Zinn’s book that
Mindfulness is more than a meditation practice that can have profound medical and
psychological benefits; it is also a way of life that reveals the gentle and loving
wholeness that lies at the heart of our being, even in times of great pain and suffering.
(as cited in Kabat-Zinn, 2009, p. xvii)
The philosophy behind mindfulness is that one’s pain is not one’s self. Some people

23. 17
identify with their physical or psychological pain to the extent that it becomes who they are.
People’s minds create their own reactivity and these thoughts, even if they have no basis in
reality, produce more pressure and demands. People of all ages can use the technique of
mindfulness. A personal practice is free, and much simpler than expensive medical treatments.
This is not to say that medicine is never needed, but mindfulness has been proven to help
considerably in coping with physical or psychological pain and illness. Dr. Bernie Siegel (1990),
surgeon and author of Love, Medicine, and Miracles strongly advocates meditation for cancer
patients and says, “I know of no other single activity that by itself can produce such great
improvement in the quality of life” (p. 189). In The Practical Neuroscience of Buddha’s Brain,
Dr. Rick Hanson (a neuropsychologist) and Dr. Richard Mendius (a neurologist) use the backing
scientific research to bring a modern understanding to the ancient and profound teachings of
inner meditation practice. Mindfulness meditation is being successfully integrated into
mainstream medicine by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn.
Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction therapy differs from traditional cognitive therapy in
the treatment of internal experiences such as thoughts, feelings, and physical bodily sensations.
“Rather than targeting and attempting to change the content, frequency, and form of thoughts and
feelings directly, acceptance-based therapies (such as mindfulness) seek to alter the function of
internal phenomena so as to diminish their behavioral impact” (Greco & Hayes, 2008, p. 3).
Acceptance and Mindfulness Treatments for Children and Adolescents: A Practitioner's
Guide, edited by Laurie A. Greco and Steven C. Hayes (2008), is a resource book for clinicians
who want to apply the techniques of acceptance and mindfulness to treat physical and mental
health problems of children and adolescents. In their book, Greco and Hayes sought to help
children with anxiety, externalizing disorders, and chronic pain. Direction is given to parents,

24. 18
schools, and other social institutions that deal with teenagers. There is an entire chapter dedicated
to the mindfulness-based stress reduction of school-age children, written by Dr. Amy Saltzman.
Dr. Saltzman is a holistic physician, mindfulness teacher, scientist, wife, mother, and devoted
student of transformation. Her passion is supporting people of all ages in enhancing their well-
being, and discovering what she referred to as the Still Quiet Place within. Dr. Saltzman is
recognized as a visionary and pioneer in the fields of holistic medicine and mindfulness in K-12
education. In 2011, I had the pleasure of meeting Amy and we brought her mindfulness class to a
group of teens shortly after the height of the suicides in the neighboring community suicide.
Most people spend a good part of their lives focused on acquiring things, focused on the
future, and looking to the outside for praise and acceptance. There is nothing wrong in planning
for the future, or setting realistic goals, but if one is constantly living in the future, a place that
does not really exist, and cannot appreciate the present, I believe that much joy escapes one’s
attention. I believe adolescents are extremely vulnerable to the messages that our culture
supports in these ways. The book, Wide Awake: A Buddhist Guide for Teens (Winston, 2003),
described what she feels is the true nature of the world. The truth, according to Winston (2003),
is that “you cannot escape the opposites no matter how hard you try to experience only the
pleasant half of each pair” ( p. 5). As Winston (2003), pointed out:
This book may not make your life less stressful, but it might show you another option to
relate to life’s ups and downs. It will not hand you the answers to your questions, but it
will provide you with the framework, and offer tools, suggestions, and practices, so that
you can arrive at the answers yourself. (p. 2)
I could not agree more with Winston’s (2003) philosophy on acceptance, “The more we
practice mindfulness, the more the accepting quality of the heart develops . . . the effort to show
up and bring ourselves whole heartedly into the present moment actually develops acceptance”
(p. 141). I think this is an extremely important message for young children and teens.

25. 19
I believe that young children can benefit from learning simple mindfulness techniques
that can then serve them during difficult times throughout the many transitions of their lives,
especially in adolescence where many changes are occurring within themselves and in their
outside world. In The Mindful Child, Susan Keiser Greenland (2010) gently introduced the
rationale of breathing techniques with young children. Greenland describes using
a breathing technique to help children calm themselves when they feel overwhelmed, and
the transformative power of breathing never ceases to amaze me. Breathing is the most
natural thing in the world, the foundation of our lives. We do it without thinking about it,
but by tapping into the power of this simple act, we can better manage stress and live
happier lives. (Greenland, 2010, p. 2)
I looked at two current preventive measures used in our society to help allay feelings of
depression and anxiety. They are: Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Mindfulness Based Stress
Reduction. DBT therapy involves a psychotherapist working individually with a client. In
Dialectical Behavior Therapy for Children & Adolescents, Connie Callahan (2008) explains that
adults who present with a variety of symptoms that keep them from functioning well in life,
often started having problems as children. In this book, Callahan advocates working with
children when these problems first develop. One of the first processes a clinician would follow
with a suicidal client would be a very frank discussion about any self-mutilating behaviors,
suicidal gestures, or attempts. Next would be any behaviors that destroy the quality of life.
DBT employs multiple modes: individual therapy, multi-family skills training groups,
and family therapy. There is a treatment hierarchy and treatment is structured to address target
behaviors according to their priority within each treatment mode. DBT clients are normally in
therapy for the period of 1 year. Treatment hierarchy involves addressing the hierarchy of needs
that is relative to the moment. In DBT therapy, the therapist works to decrease life-threatening
behavior, decrease noncompliance and premature drop-out of treatment, decrease drug abuse and

26. 20
other criminal behaviors, and increase behavioral skills (Tryon, 1996, p. 217).
Cheri Huber (2001), of Living Compassion, a nonprofit organization dedicated to peace
and service, wrote a book dedicated to and written exclusively for teenagers, There is Nothing
Wrong With You: For Teens. Reading Huber’s book raises the question: How do people know if
what they have been told is true? People must examine the messages that their culture and their
parents have given them and challenge the cultural expectations and regulations. As an example,
Huber (2001) wrote:
Once we turn our attention outward, away from our own heart and toward someone “out
there” who we hope we can please enough that they will meet our needs, most of us never
address the original unmet need we were traumatized into abandoning. Most of us don’t
know it is that original, unmet need that has been controlling our lives. (p. 53)
The format of Huber’s book includes questions and responses directed to teens, and is a
simple and direct, handwritten script with straightforward illustrations—very teen-friendly, but at
the same time, quite profound. Further conversations with teenagers in this book include
responses and questions that the teens themselves have raised. The book combines mindfulness
with questions about the conditioning we receive as children so that one can learn to let go of
preconceived notions that are unhealthy. Huber teaches that self-hate is rampant and can lead to
self-abuse, self-injury, and thoughts and behaviors that can lead to the worst possible outcome:
suicide.
My research into Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) provided current information
about trends in therapies and techniques used for children and teenagers. These references also
show how mindfulness and principles derived from Zen philosophy have come to form an
important part of DBT. Due to the perceived limitations of traditional cognitive and behavioral
approaches, mindfulness has been incorporated into these programs with more beneficial results.
All of the books and articles that I researched led me to see that our understanding of how

27. 21
to treat the suicidal adolescent is limited. We can understand the feelings that teens are struggling
with and there are many avenues for therapy and community services, but there is not much
literature that addresses how to decrease the risk of suicidal behavior in the first place.

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Chapter 3: Research Method
Heuristic Method
Carl Moustakas (1994) Heuristic Research: Design, Methodology, and Applications,
described heuristic research as “an organized and systematic form for investigating human
experience. From the beginning and throughout an investigation, heuristic research involves self-
search, self-dialogue, and self-discovery; the research question and the methodology flow out of
inner awareness, meaning, and inspiration” (Moustakas, 1994, p. 21). The root meaning of the
word heuristic comes from the Greek word heuriskein, meaning to discover or to find. Utilizing
this method of discovery during the research process allows the researcher to experience growing
self-awareness and self-discovery. Moustakas (1994) wrote that
The heuristic process is a way of being informed, a way of knowing. Whatever presents
itself in the consciousness of the investigator as perception, sense, intuition, or
knowledge represents an invitation for further elucidation? What appears, what shows
itself as itself, casts a light that enables one to come to know more fully what something
is and means. (p. 10)
As I write and explore adolescent suicide, using heuristic inquiry, I engage with my sources as
well as my Self. With this external and inner dialogue, self-search, and self-discovery. Although
my research topic has often been very painful for me to explore, I feel that I have been able to
tolerate the emotional roller coaster because heuristic research allowed me to be true to myself as
I gathered information. I have researched this topic because I care about it and want to make a
difference. Without the nature of heuristic research, I do not feel that I could have been confident
to speak to this distressing topic in ways that became meaningful for me. Tying the research of
mindfulness into the research on suicide allowed me to use the methods of tacit knowing and
intuition about the topic. These thoughts and intuition were such a large part of my journey.
Heuristic research allowed me to access a deeper part of myself and bring it to my research. It

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allowed me to speak with my authentic voice and feel validated. In other research
methodologies, these meaningful and insightful ways of knowing may not have been recognized.
“Many of the most significant and exciting life events and extraordinary experiences—moments
of clarity, illumination, and healing—have been systematically excluded from conventional
research” (Braud & Anderson, 1998, p. 3).
I found it very interesting to read in Transpersonal Knowing: Exploring the Horizon of
Consciousness, (Hart, Nelson, & Puhakka, 2000), a passage describing mental illness and
inspiration. “If we consider inspiration as one end of a continuum, toward the other end lies a
constellation of experiences that have depression as their emotional center” (p. 41). It is
fascinating to note that the very method of transpersonal knowing distinguishes the value of
intuition to be a feeling of connection, openness and clarity. The opposite would be to feel
isolated, alone, and disconnection. These are emotions described by a suicidal person. The ability
to connect with intuition would balance one’s feelings of hopelessness and meaninglessness in
which life experienced as a burden.
In the article, “Heuristic Inquiry and Transpersonal Research,” the author, Dave Hiles
(2001), defined research as “an addition to knowledge” (p. 14) and noted, “we undertake
research because we care and want to make a difference” (p. 14). I undertook this research on
mindfulness as a preventive measure for adolescent suicide because I care about finding ways to
ensure the health and safety of our children. The heuristic inquiry approach to research is
appropriate for this topic because it promotes empathy and caring as a major component. In this
manner, heuristic inquiry differs from many areas of human action and experience deemed by
scientists to be too difficult to study. Donald Polkinghorne (1983) pointed out that
human science seeks to know the reality which is particularly our own, the reality of our
experience, actions, and expressions. This realm is closest to us, yet it is most resistant to

30. 24
our attempt to grasp it with understanding. Because of the success we have had knowing
the world around us, the human realm has expanded its power to such an extent that we
can act to create wellbeing and physical security and comfort and to inflict untold
suffering and destruction. Serious and rigorous re-searching of the human realm is
required. (pp. 280-281)
Because of the sensitive nature of my topic, management of adolescent suicide, I took a
very thoughtful approach to my research. In order to investigate the issue of teen suicide with the
possibility of incorporating mindfulness as a preventive measure, I listened to my own inner
wisdom as a source to guide me in my investigations. Exploring the subject from a deeply
personal perspective, as well as through the eyes of others seemed the best way to proceed. As
Braud and Anderson (1998) so eloquently pointed out in their book,
Bringing the compassionate heart to scientific inquiry, to the way we, as researchers, ask
our questions, analyze our data, construct our theories, and speak to our readers brings a
renewed intentionality to our sciences. Research informed by compassion is qualitatively
different from emotionally detached research because our values and intentions frame the
manner of our thinking and actions nonetheless: Better that compassion set our
intentions. (p. 71)
It is impossible to conduct research on adolescent suicide without using a large dose of
compassion. Helping the adolescent to acquire skills for finding serenity and contentment in
everyday life requires that researchers be compassionate participants and observers.
Working with teens at a local high school employing the mindfulness class taught by Dr.
Amy Saltzman, I have been immersed in my thesis research. Dr. Saltzman aims to help young
children and teens learn a new way to manage their difficult thoughts and feelings. She feels that
mindfulness can give them a tool for accessing what she calls “the still quiet place within.” She
feels that connecting with their inner wisdom and strength is a way to keep them safe. In addition
to the mindfulness class for teens, I have been working with an organization called
Breakthrough the Static, a nonprofit group that is helping teens to connect with others who have
lost someone to suicide. Because I am personally involved with this subject, I am beginning to

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see transformations within my own understandings of the topic of using mindfulness practice in
dealing with suicidal teens.
My own children know that I am working on this paper and I feel that they have
definitely gained awareness around the topic. I have spoken to them about people in the
community with whom I talk, and I try to get their feedback. I have kept details confidential, but
I think that it has heightened their sensitivity and has also allowed them to see that people
everywhere, and from all walks of life are suffering. We have talked about empathy and how it
helps to look at others with compassion, especially when you have been hurt by someone else.
I also feel that my own mindfulness practice has been a source for me to investigate how
this practice has changed and affected my own life. Learning through mindfulness that my
thoughts are only my thoughts has helped me deal with depression and unhelpful thoughts. I
have read varied material on mindfulness for many years now and all of it convinces me that the
practice can be incredibly helpful for people suffering with anxieties and depression.
Myriad approaches are required to deal with the problems encountered in suicidal
patients. There is a need for psychotherapy, medication, and many other methods to help
alleviate depression and anxiety. However, I feel that it is crucial, especially with children, to
identify a different way of thinking than is customarily used. Moustakas (1994) spoke to this
when he explained,
Essentially in the heuristic process, I am creating a story that portrays the qualities,
meanings, and essences of universally unique experiences. Through an unwavering and
steady inward gaze and inner freedom to explore and accept what is, I am reaching into
deeper and deeper regions of a human problem or experience and coming to know and
understand its underlying dynamics and constituents more and more fully. (p. 13)
This quote describing heuristic research sounds remarkably similar to mindfulness
practice. As I reach deeper and deeper into my own psyche, I can understand myself more and
more fully. As noted earlier, I have had my own battles with depression and feel that if I had

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understood the nature of my mind and had been able to separate myself from my thoughts at an
earlier age, I would have been better equipped to deal with my circumstances. Not only did I
seek to understand my father’s depression and tendency for self-harm, I, as well as others in my
family struggled with feelings of unworthiness, disconnection, and darkness which was
something that I struggled with and needed to understand so that I could heal.
It was an intuitive experience that led me to take the time to investigate these issues
around our youth and society. This study has illuminated my own life issues and has led me to
look at new ways to assist children and families who suffer with depression, or with suicidal
tendencies or thoughts. The goal of the Heuristic method is to explore the essential meanings of a
topic and bring them to life in such a way that the work helps both the researcher and the reader
to live well, as one finds one’s own experiences illuminated by the experiences of others.
I found that it is difficult to investigate adolescent suicide without a very personal interest
in the topic. “The heuristic process is a way of being informed, a way of knowing. Whatever
presents itself in the consciousness of the investigator as perception, sense, intuition, or
knowledge represents an invitation for further elucidation” (Moustakas, 1994, p. 10). My
personal interest lies in the safety of human beings and in the evolution of consciousness that I
believe can be furthered by the understanding that we are all in this together.
In heuristic research, one must be able to see a problem and sense a direction toward a
solution where others see none. It is hoped that eventually the researcher will arrive at a solution
that is surprising to all. I can only hope that something close to this might occur with this
research. Heuristic research begs the question, “What do you want to learn?” My intention is that
through my investigation of mindfulness as a tool for teens, my commitment to my own
meditation practice will become deeper and more consistent and help to open up communication

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with the general public about how we can better serve our adolescent population.
The more I read about the positive effects of mindfulness, the more committed I am to
the process. I find that in researching for others, I am gaining perspective on my own life. It is
possible to get a new perspective and to learn a new way to view the world.
I wish I had been taught mindfulness techniques as a child. I believe that just learning
that “you are not your thoughts” is a very valuable piece of information. Learning to take a
breath and step away from identifying with negative thought patterns can be a very effective way
to help with depression and self-sabotage. I cannot help but see that the education system in the
United States is lacking in ways to help children identify a healthy way to see themselves and the
world in which they live. The underlying attitude many have towards education, in which one’s
worth is based solely on how much one can learn and into what college one is accepted—can be
very short lived satisfactions. This is not to say that academic learning is not valuable or that
learning should not be an essential part of life. It is only to point out that self-worth can only be
found in intrinsic value, not by standards by which others judge. “To be nobody but yourself in a
world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the
hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting” (Cummings, 1981,
p. 174).
Heuristic inquiry is a process that begins with a question to a problem which the
researcher seeks to illuminate or answer. The question is one that has been a personal
challenge and puzzlement in the search to understand one’s self and the world in which
one lives. (Moustakas, 1994, p. 15)
Heuristic methodology also respects the researcher’s tacit knowing. “The tacit dimension
underlies and precedes intuition and guides the researcher into untapped directions and sources
of meaning” (Moustakas, 1994, p. 20). This means that each person has his or her own unique
viewpoint to contribute; everyone has their own personal perspective. “This idea of personal

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knowing corresponds to the Hindu idea of the ‘play of consciousness,’ where the Divine, to
know itself, has split up into all of creation in order to have different experiences” (Moustakas,
1994, p. 34). If one curtails tacit knowing in research, one will limit possibilities. I believe that I
possess a tacit knowing in the mental process that is involved in suffering, having witnessed the
experiences of my dad and several other family members who lived with depression. I
understand the topic, having lived with it all of my life, and having my own episodes with the
dark night of the soul, so with this comes a sympathetic knowing that helps me proceed with my
inquiry.
Moustakas (1994) proposed that heuristic inquiry involves
a process of internal search through which one discovers that nature and meaning of
experience and develops methods and procedures for further investigation and analysis.
The self of the researcher is present throughout the process and, while understanding the
phenomenon with increasing depth, the researcher also experiences growing self-
awareness and self-knowledge. (p. 10)
It is said that in heuristic methodology, the research question chooses you. This was certainly
true for me. I did not really want to study adolescent suicide. However, as adolescent suicide
made itself more and more present in my psyche, my family, and my daily life, I started to
realize that I could no longer ignore it.
Every event in my community that touched the topic in any way initiated its entry into
my awareness. I started attending talks and events that were deeply moving to my soul. An
outside force seemed to be pulling me in. In my heart, I realized that there is nothing more
important to me than keeping children safe and insuring that they feel loved. It connects me to
the feelings I had as a small child: wanting to take care of other children, taking care of my
family members, my years as a nurse, my hospice work, my spiritual view of the world. My own
maternal nature and connection with the Divine Feminine was driving me forward. As I
discovered this fundamental drive, it helped me to choose this as a thesis topic, to seek out

35. 29
books and articles regarding suicidal behavior, why people die by suicide, dialectical behavior
treatments for suicidal adolescents, and mindfulness techniques and philosophies for suicidal
teenagers.
As Moustakas (1994) observed, “one senses a pattern or underlying condition that
enables one to imagine and then characterize the reality, state of mind, or condition” (p. 23).
Intuition is a valuable resource that may not get the respect that it deserves. Fortunately, in both
heuristic and transpersonal research, intuition is valued and recognized as important. I
interviewed several people for their expertise or experience with mindfulness practice. Through
these dialogues and conversations, through self-awareness and exploration, the interviews have
illuminated my intuition about this subject even further. “Dialogue with the other and dialogue
with oneself require active, reflective listening. This means tuning into the other person’s
communications or one’s own and noticing moment by moment what they mean” (Moustakas,
1994, p. 118).
The points that I found to be interesting in Moustakas’ (1990) core process include:
becoming one with the research question, having self-dialogue, an openness to one’s own
experience, tacit knowing, intuition, concentrating on some aspect of human experience, and
focusing (p. 120). I feel that these components of self-awareness and openness allowed for an
embodied experience around my topic. I could feel that in small ways I was able to make a
difference in this very tragic phenomenon of the human condition. Research did not feel boring
or distant. It became a part of my heart.
Description of the Participants
My participants included 1 local author and mindfulness instructor, 2 psychotherapists,
and 2 teenagers who participated in a recent mindfulness program. I had the great pleasure of

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interviewing Cheri Huber, one of my favorite teachers and founder and resident teacher at the
Zen Monastery Peace Center in Murphys, California, and the Mountain View Zen Center in
Mountain View, California. She is also founder and executive director of Living Compassion, a
multifaceted center that offers classes for meditation, peace practices, a project called the “Africa
Vulnerable Children Project.” The center offers many other ways to practice mindfulness in daily
life and in the world. Huber has written many books on mindfulness and awareness practice
tools, including the book, There’s Nothing Wrong With You, for Teens (Huber, 2001), where she
specifically addresses adolescents. Huber travels around the country giving workshops and
retreats on mindfulness and has a weekly call-in talk show called, “Open Air.”
I was fortunate to interview Roni Gillenson, program director of Adolescent Counseling
Services. Gillenson has 15 years of experience providing mental health services to culturally
diverse youth and has worked at the County Juvenile Probation and County Mental Health. The
bulk of her experience has focused on adolescent issues in school and residential settings.
Gillenson also holds a Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology with an emphasis in Feminist
Psychology and Multiculturalism. She also has a private practice in San Francisco, CA seeing
adolescents and young adults.
I also interviewed author and Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) expert, Gina
Biegel (2009). Biegel, whose work is crucial to my paper, adapted MBSR for the adolescent
population and conducted a randomized control trial assessing the efficacy of the technique with
very significant results. She has published an article about her findings in the Journal of
Consulting and Clinical Psychology (JCCP). Biegel is also currently conducting a formal
research study to assess the efficacy of the Mindful Schools’ program. Mindful Schools are a
non-profit organization that seek to integrate mindfulness into education. These schools offer in-

37. 31
class instruction, professional training, and other resources that support mindfulness in
education. Biegel is author of The Stress Reduction Workbook for Teens: Mindfulness Skills to
Help You Deal With Stress.
In addition, I interviewed two high school students from Menlo-Atherton High School,
who had taken a mindfulness class at the school, provided by Dr. Amy Saltzman of Still Quiet
Place. As stated earlier, I helped Dr. Saltzman get the class accepted at M-A and I funded it
while I was a parent at the school.
Adolescent Counseling Services (ACS) in Palo Alto, CA, is an organization that offers
free on-campus counseling at the local high schools during the school day. The mental health
professionals also have an after-school counseling program, adolescent substance abuse
treatment program, and community education program that discusses the issues and challenges
that the adolescent faces today. There is a website about their programs, which lists risk factors
and warning signs for adolescent suicide and bullying resources. The site provides information
on Project Safety Net, a program designed specifically for teens to address any issues they might
seek to resolve, Just for Teens, and an adolescent substance abuse program.
Description of Procedure
The interviews formed a significant part of my research for this thesis. The interview
process has provided genuine, profound and valid conversations that shed light on an extremely
dark subject. By interviewing an adolescent counselor, I was able to find out what the current
climate is among teens at our local high schools. I determined with what students sought help,
what issues they are facing, and how the issues are being addressed. The information from the
parents included how they are communicating with their teens, what the major issues are
between teenagers and their parents, and what the counselors usually see on a daily basis. I think

38. 32
that all of the interviews provide for a well-rounded discussion on the issues people face today
with the adolescent population. I have learned more about the current resources and how they
seem to be working. I also spoke with participants about their thoughts on incorporating
mindfulness into the school day.
I e-mailed the participants with a letter of invitation and the informed consent form
(Appendices A, B, and C). I interviewed them about their experiences with mindfulness as a tool
to help with depression. I used a digital recorder with each participant’s permission and
interviewed each one in person. I then transcribed the interviews and included what was relevant
to my thesis. I found similarities in the interviews on the usefulness of mindfulness as a tool for
children and teens in the school system.

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Chapter 4: Psychology and Psychopathology of Suicide
The topic of suicide is extremely complicated. Simply defined, suicide is the act of taking
one’s own life. In the U.S., suicide ranks as the third leading cause of death for young people
between the ages of 15 and 24 years. And, suicide is the sixth leading cause of death for children
ages 5 to 14 years (“American Foundation for Suicide Prevention,” 2012, Youth, para. 1). There
are numerous theories and many different approaches to suicide. The editors of the book,
Suicide: Understanding and Responding, by Douglas Jacobs and Herbert Brown (1989) took
materials from the Harvard Medical School conferences on the subject of suicide and compiled
the information in a multidimensional approach to suicide. These different approaches included
the literary and personal document approach, philosophical and theological approach,
demographic approach, socio-cultural approach, biological and biochemical approach, and
psychiatric and mental illness and disease approach, among others (Jacobs & Brown, 1998,
pp. 1-15).
Considering all of the angles it takes to begin to understand the nature of suicide, it is
obvious that it is no easy problem to attend to, and that there are many different avenues of
thought by which to approach the problem. In the psychological approach, Jacobs and Brown
(1989) listed 10 commonalities of suicide: to seek a solution, the goal is cessation of
consciousness, psychological pain, frustrated psychological needs, hopelessness, escape, feelings
of constriction, ambivalence, and the common interpersonal act in suicide is communication of
intention (p. 16).
In the 1960s, the field of psychology was influenced by the work of Abraham Maslow.
His work helped researchers and psychotherapists see new ways to understand psychological and
spiritual experience, hence his description as the father of humanistic psychology. The author of

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Waking Up, Alive, Richard Heckler (1994), was moved by Maslow’s work when he was a
student of psychology. He embraced Maslow’s view of helping people regain their health and
happiness by the approach of studying the behavior of people who are healthy and leading
extraordinary lives. Maslow’s famous hierarchy of needs shows that survival needs include love,
belonging, and esteem. In Heckler’s research, he interviewed people who attempted suicide, and
because their attempts failed, they were able to shed light on their feelings and experiences.
Waking Up takes an in-depth look at how one emerges from the attempt of suicide and learns to
thrive. In showing how these individuals were able to return to life, change their situations, and
find new reservoirs of strength, this book shows what elements were missing in the psyche of
these individuals that led to their descent and ultimately ending their lives.
Heckler (1994) chronicled the three most common types of loss that affect the suicidal
person: (a) traumatic loss, (b) extreme family dysfunction, and (c) alienation. His research led
him to see that although people do commit suicide after a traumatic loss, a larger proportion of
suicide attempts reflect losses incurred in childhood and adolescence. He found that the
interviews provided “intimate access to the experiences that upset the critical balance between
hope and hopelessness” (Heckler, 1994, p. 39). He pointed out how “the accounts share elements
fundamental to the experience of the descent into suicide—that psycho-spiritual period during
which the very fabric of one’s world seems to stretch, tear, and then break apart” (Heckler, 1994,
p. 39). He wrote about the “suicidal trance” (Heckler, 1994, p. 79), which he explained to be the
narrowed perspective in which a person’s inner voices are the only ones that are heard and those
voices direct him or her to die. The disabling thoughts about a troubled past and a vision of a
tormented future render a person unable to live in the present and “they lose their balance,
bewildered in the present and unable to comprehend the future” (Heckler, 1994, p. 79). Heckler

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(1994) noted that “it is at this juncture, for almost everyone interviewed, that the stage is set for
the final act” (p. 79).
Through the stories represented in Waking Up, Alive, Heckler (1994) was able to see that
in grieving, people can begin to “revalue” (p. 188) themselves. “When people allow their pain to
surface, they make a statement that they are important and worthy of attention” (Heckler, 1994,
p. 188). People begin to catch a glimpse of who they are beneath the pain. I believe that
mindfulness can teach people to value who they are beneath their painful thoughts as well as
providing a link between self and society.
Many stressful factors contribute to adolescent suicide that include mental disorders,
depression and anxiety, substance abuse, sexual orientation or questioning sexuality, ethnicity,
gender, disturbed family context, and borderline personality disorder. Other risk factors are
stressful life events, childhood sexual and physical abuse, which could lead to or be in addition
to academic and social difficulties.
Suicide vulnerability includes the incomplete development of emotional autonomy and
the ability to be able to tolerate periods of loneliness, depression, anxiety, and anger. Individuals
who have not developed this capacity depend on external resources to sustain their psychological
integrity. If the person feels extreme vulnerability, negative self-judgment, and unworthiness
threaten the sense of self. The decision to commit suicide is a statement indicating that not only
is one’s own life not worth living, but may express that life has no value.
In his book, Why People Die by Suicide, Thomas Joiner (2007) wrote,
people desire death when two fundamental needs are frustrated to the point of extinction;
namely, the need to belong with or connect with others, and the need to feel effective
with or to influence others. When both these needs are snuffed out, suicide becomes
attractive but not accessible without the ability for self-harm. (p. 47)
He went on to explain in this chapter that self-harm has calming and pain-relieving abilities and

42. 36
that self-injury distracts people from deeper emotional pain. Joiner notes that self-harming
behavior can actually make a person feel alive or that self-harm brings their inner world back
into harmony with the world at large. The more self-harm behaviors come into effect, the more
apt the person may become to do the ultimate self-harm.
I believe that there are many correlations between the kind of emotional pain that a
suicidal individual suffers and the kind of self-discovery that has been shown to be effective
when practicing mindfulness. Realizing that you are not your pain, and watching negative
thoughts in a less attached way can be a significant learning tool. It seems that people are not
exposed to this type of thinking until their problems reach a point of seriousness that leads to
crisis and emergency. People are conditioned in society to look outside of themselves for their
self-worth. Children are constantly being compared to others in sports, academics, the way they
look, dress, act, their economic status, and many other outward appearances.
I asked Roni Gillenson, Program Director the On Campus Counseling Program of
Adolescent Counseling Services in our interview, what do most of the kids that come in seem to
be troubled about? She said,
What we see at the high school level is mostly academic stress, but also communication
with parents, whether it’s that they don’t understand them or that they would like to
spend more time with them, peer relationships, mean girls or bullying, boyfriend/
girlfriend issues, depression/anxiety, divorce, loss, transitions. . . . I think that there’s a
safety in coming in and saying “I’m really stressed out at school,” and then you uncover
all the other stuff. (Roni)
Roni was at Gunn High School in Palo Alto, working as a counselor when four suicides
took place within 6 months in 2009. She said of her experience there,
It was . . . the first one was jarring and unsuspected, scary, being on campus was hard—
everyone was affected and reacted even if they didn’t know the student. I think when it
happened it raised a lot of awareness. A student might be crying in the corner, or they
might be silent, or they might be yelling and screaming and act upset. You don’t always
know. There are some indicators, but they are not always specific. I think we really

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utilized that tragedy to raise awareness with students/faculty and parents, because parents
were like, “what do we do?” so we used a lot of education. We used the word “suicide”
and told them to talk about it, check in with their kids about how they are feeling—not
just their grades or college applications, but how they are feeling—what’s going on?
When the second one happened, it was more than a punch in the stomach and I think it
kind of took the wind out of all of us. Tragic. Really hard. We had just had a smidgen of
having tried to pick up the pieces and move on, and then that happened. It was one step
forward and five steps back. The community had a lot of fear, wanting answers. For me
as a therapist, it was painful. We were doing a lot of outreach and check-ins and students
were bringing friends in, but we were also trying to give everyone a chance to grieve.
(Roni)
The practice of Mindfulness teaches compassion for self and others. It helps people have
tolerance and understanding for others. I believe that if this were instituted into the school day,
even in a small way, children would learn to not only have self-acceptance and love, but would
learn tolerance and kindness in the face of the struggles of others. Mindfulness teaches
individuality and the gifts of being unique and different. Perhaps this would enable children to
master these skills at an early age so that by the time they were struggling with larger issues, the
differences in gender, sexual orientation, body image, and athleticism there would not be a
climate of such competition and aggression. Being “different” could be celebrated for its unique
gifts and children would not feel as ostracized and alone. Mindfulness also teaches unity and
grounding, a respect for the Earth and the universe. If this became a fundamental belief, instilled
in childhood, perhaps people would not feel so desperate and isolated.
One example of a mindfulness practice is the simple experience of a silent meditation
where small pieces of paper and a pencil are placed on chairs. Students are asked to look two
seats to the left and write down something they appreciate about that person. Then notes can be
written to others in the room. These “appreciations” are handed to the subject at the end of the
meditation.
As children grow older, the issues that they face become more serious. Adolescents are
dealing with changing bodies and hormones, increased academic and athletic demands, sexual

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identity questions, the emerging stress of individuation, and peer group pressures. It is often
difficult to find time, even in one’s own family, to address the issues that are affecting the
average American teenager. Their lives are packed with activities and they are turning to peers
for attention and support more than they are going to parents or adults that might be able to help
them handle the pressure. Facebook and the Internet can provide helpful information for teens,
but can also create a climate of bullying and hatred that now extends to public scrutiny, and can
be the impetus for an individual to feel overwhelmed with helplessness and despair.
Being the mother of four children, one girl and three boys, I have had the chance to see
the ways in which girls and boys are both conditioned by our culture. When I began my graduate
studies in Women’s Spirituality, I gained incredible insight into the patriarchal system. I
discovered how women have been denied empowerment, authority, historical affirmation,
respect, and many other disturbing inequities that have led to many of the problems in our
society. When I began this thesis regarding adolescent suicide, I wondered if I should center on
female adolescents and the issues that are prevalent in society today. However, having three
teenage boys at home made me distinctly aware that although the problems differ for boys and
girls, and though it would be important to separate the genders for a complete look at both, this is
not what I had in mind for this paper. I feel that to divide the genders, I would be discounting my
firm belief that we must begin to view our world from the standpoint of one gender--humanity.
By doing this, we can begin to combine our masculine and feminine qualities so that we do not
discount important parts of our psyche, we can gain more respect for one another, and we can
become more complete and whole human beings.
I have a deep and fundamental belief that we are not separate and that our oneness is our
salvation to how we can best serve ourselves, one another, and our planet. One of the spiritual

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teachers that I most admire, Eknath Easwaran (1996), wrote in Seeing With the Eyes of Love,
God has given us several laws. The law of gravity is a divine gift and so is the law of
unity. We have discovered one, but not the other. The law of gravity governs the external
world. The law of unity governs the internal world. Just as all the planets and all the
galaxies are held together by gravitational forces, human beings also, the mystics say,
are held together by the law of unity – beginning with the members of the family and
extending to all other families, beginning with one nation and extending to all other
nations. (p. 219)
Although I do not have proof of this, I believe in it with every fiber of my being. So, I believe
that many of our gender issues and inequities could be enlightened by the discovery and belief in
the bond of unity that holds us together. Although we are different, and we have been
conditioned in many different ways by our cultures and societies, we are all human and share a
fundamental bond which can help heal our differences and our wounds.
Two bestselling books, Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls (Pipher,
1994) and Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys (Kindlon & Thompson, 2000),
were instrumental in exploring the issues that both genders face and in looking at how society
conditions children to believe. The stories in Raising Cain shared a disturbing theme of
emotional ignorance and isolation. The struggle that adolescent boys face between the need for
connection and the desire for autonomy is a big one. Kindlon and Thompson (2000) pointed out
that American culture supports the emotional development in girls and discourages it for boys.
“Stereotypical notions of masculine toughness deny a boy his emotions and rob him of the
chance to develop the full range of emotional resources” (Kindlon & Thompson, 2000, p. 4). I
believe that boys, as well as girls, face unrealistic and narrow roles into which they feel they
must mold themselves.

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Chapter 5: Teen Culture and Issues and the Community’s Response
In this chapter, I share some of the events that have been taking place in my local
community and the high schools located here. Since experiencing the teen suicides, the
community has rallied with events and committees to address the seriousness of the situation and
to attend to some of the issues that may have led to them.
As noted earlier, issues facing teens today include gender identification and sexuality,
bullying and cyber-bullying, race, religion, academic pressures, relationships with family,
boyfriend and girlfriend problems and break-ups, substance abuse, depression, self-harming
behaviors, suicidal thoughts, and suicidal attempts and general violence in the world and
community. I will address some of these issues further, in this chapter.
My paper is centered on the issues and reactions that my immediate community is facing.
However, the research I conducted shows that these issues are not very different in the rest of the
country. Whether the high schools are rural or urban, private or public, the issues that teens are
facing are all very similar. Facebook has been the great leveler, and the communications that
teens have with one another on the Internet seem to run along the same track. Cyber-bullying
seems to target similar children with similar issues, the media messages that affect children are
the same, and the messages about the quest for a “successful and happy life” seem to be based on
many of the same contingencies.
Some of the elements in my community trying to address these issues include programs
such as Challenge Day (Challenge Day, 2012), Teen Truth Live (Pohl & Christopher, 2007), and
the films, A Race to Nowhere (Abeles & Congdor, 2010), and Miss Representation (Newsom &
Scully, 2011).
The People Magazine issue of October 18, 2010, cover was “Teen Suicide Tragedies:

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Deadly Bullying.” This issue described the horrendous details surrounding several young people
took their lives as they were tormented for being gay. There has been a lot of attention in the
media about this since University of Rutgers freshman, Tyler Clementi, 18 years old jumped off
a bridge after he was videotaped by his roommate while being intimate with another boy. People
Magazine (2010) cited that a
2005 Harris poll found 90 percent of gay and lesbian teens say they’ve been bullied in
the past year. And nearly two-thirds of these students feel unsafe in school, according to
a 2009 survey by the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network. (p. 56)
The It Gets Better Project (http://www.itgetsbetter.org) was started by Dan Savage and
Terry Miller. They describe the project,
The It Gets Better Project was created to show young LGBT people the levels of
happiness, potential, and positivity their lives will reach—if they can just get through
their teen years. The It Gets Better Project wants to remind teenagers in the LGBT
community that they are not alone—and it WILL get better. (“What is,” n.d., para. 1)
I feel that while these organizations are very important and helpful, it is crucial to begin to
address the areas of empathy and compassion early in life so that people do not have to endure
this type of torment.
As mentioned in Chapter 3, Adolescent Counseling Services is a local organization
dedicated to helping teens find their way; it offers a number of services including on-campus and
after school counseling. ACS collaborates with many other community resources such as (a)
Project Safety Net, a community task force formed around prevention of teen suicide; (b) The
Trevor Project, organizations geared to helping lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and
questioning youth; and (c) Teen Talk, an informative online blog. I will describe these
community events more in this chapter.
An event held in 2010 called Dear Palo Alto, was organized by a college-aged girl, Julia
Tachibana, who had lost her brother to suicide in 2007 while he was in high school. Her event

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was planned in remembrance of her brother and other youth who had commit suicide. Teens
were able to perform and express their grief through artistic means. It was a beautifully
spellbinding evening. Teens who have been touched by suicide or have been suicidal themselves
performed on stage by doing monologues about their issues or grief, music was performed with
lyrics that described friends that had committed suicide, and compassionate speeches were given.
One teenage girl did a monologue about her anorexia that was very powerful. I feel that this gave
these young people a chance to express their grief and to heal some of the pain that they are
experiencing. It was also a heartfelt tribute out to families in the community that had experienced
a loss. This event was sponsored by the City of Palo Alto and a nonprofit organization called
Breakthrough the Static, which was founded by a young woman whose father had committed
suicide when she was in high school. She felt that she did not get any support at that time and so
she founded this nonprofit for teens affected by suicide.
I see that there are a great many resources and many wonderful, professional people
wanting to make changes and to help. The issues children are facing need to be addressed earlier
in their lives; we are waiting until children are in crisis to begin to talk about how to help. We are
putting them through stressful situations from elementary school on, and by the time they reach
adolescence, they are already confused and disoriented.
Challenge Day (Challenge Day, 2012) is an organization that travels around the world,
visiting high schools to meet with teens in a full day event geared to help break down barriers.
The mission of Challenge Day is to demonstrate the possibility of love and connection through
the celebration of diversity, truth, and full expression. I have been a parent volunteer for this
event for 8 years. I have seen how powerful it can be to take the time to talk to youth about their
feelings. I have been a small group leader, which means that I have had five to six teens whom I

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did not know in a small circle; the goal was for them to be able to share their most private fears
with one another. I have had children speak about their own attempts at suicide. I have heard
countless youth talk about depression, the problems within their families, abuse, neglect, and the
incredibly difficult issues that they are faced with on a daily basis.
I have been dumbfounded by the realities that face these children and their perseverance
and courage in managing to keep moving forward, attending school, and doing their best. This
event is inspirational because the children themselves are so incredible. By the end of the day,
the drastic diversity becomes less obvious as students find that they are not alone, and they are
surprised to see no matter what race, what economic level, what family another is from, everyone
has experienced pain and suffering. In fact, it is shocking to see just how much suffering is going
on. And this is one day during their high school education, one day, as freshmen, that they are
given the opportunity for this kind of discourse with one another and with caring adults.
Teen Truth Live (Pohl & Christopher, 2007) is a film presentation given to teens around
the country that covers school violence and bullying, drugs and alcohol, and body image and
self-esteem. When I attended this assembly at my children’s high school, I was struck by the way
that the students responded. They were definitely affected by the film in a visceral way—some
were crying, most were responding by raising their hands, and most seemed to be listening and
engaged. This is not the usual climate in a high school assembly. I believe that children are
hungry for this type of education. This is the type of communication that means something to
them and helps to address feelings that are often difficult for them to talk about.
Over 13 million American children will be bullied this year, making it the most common
form of violence experienced by young people in the nation. The new documentary film,
BULLY, directed by Sundance and Emmy-award winning filmmaker, Lee Hirsch (2012), brings

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human scale to this startling statistic, offering a look at how bullying has touched five children
and their families. The fact that a movie like this needs to be made at this time shows us that our
children need help now. When children and teens are losing their lives because of bullying, we
know that something needs to be done and that the education climate needs to change. In schools
where children are learning mindfulness at an early age, they are learning the skills to have a
calm, focused, and empathetic mind.
Elementary children are being taught by a program called the Roots of Empathy (Gordon,
2012) in countries all over the world. As is stated in their mission statement,
The focus of Roots of Empathy in the long term is to build capacity of the next
generation for responsible citizenship and responsive parenting. In the short term, Roots
of Empathy focuses on raising levels of empathy, resulting in more respectful and caring
relationships and reduced levels of bullying and aggression. Part of our success is the
universal nature of the program; all students are positively engaged instead of targeting
bullies or aggressive children. (“Our Mission,” n.d., para. 1)
This program has seen changes in children who are more able than children that they have
witnessed in the past, to share, help, and understand others and a decrease in aggressive
behavior.
Another program called the Inner Resilience Program (IRP, 2011) was started after 9/11
in lower Manhattan and around Ground Zero to help teachers, parents, and students to cope in
the aftermath of the disaster. The program became so successful that it now serves schools in
New York, Ohio, and Vermont. The mindfulness-based approaches used in IRP help create
healthy environments for teaching and learning by assisting both teachers and students to hone
the skills of self-regulation, attention, and caring for others. The underlying principle of teaching
specific skills to teachers and students through sustained practice and the development of a
mindful classroom environment may provide value-added benefits because of the emphasis on
repeated practice of skills over time in the context of a caring learning community.

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In “Integrating Mindfulness Training Into K-12 Education: Fostering the Resilience of
Teachers and Students,” Meiklejohn et al. (2012) states
The focus of mindfulness educational practices is grounded in contemplative
neuroscience including the concept of neuroplasticity—the notion that the brain is the
key organ in the body that is designed to change in response to experience and training
of various kinds. Marrying the idea of neuroplasticity with the kinds of mental training
offered by contemplative practices, educators are learning just how much we can train
the mind and change our brains/bodies in the directions of greater attentional focus,
emotional calm, awareness and insight, and caring for others. (p. 11)
I feel that inner resilience is such a key phrase in the name of this organization. In trying
to work with those suffering from the tragic occurrences of 9/11, people running this
organization found that it was worth doing this sort of training in the classroom every day,
because it really helped the staff and students feel connected. They continued the program as
they saw the benefits.
The film, The Race to Nowhere: The Dark Side of America’s Achievement Culture
(Abeles, 2010), was shown mostly to adult audiences across the nation. This film was directed by
Vicki Abeles, whose two children started to show adverse signs of stress in their daily lives with
the pressure of homework, activities, and the constant need to perform. The documentary focuses
on interviews with teens, parents, and educators, who all felt burned out, stressed out, and
miserable with the pressures society placed upon them. Supposedly, the title came from a boy
who was interviewed in the film trying to describe what his life feels like, and he very aptly said,
“I feel like I’m on a race to nowhere” (Abeles, 2010). Out of the mouths of babes.
As I watched the film, I felt a familiar and suppressed anger begin to resurface. I
remember the stress that occurred on a daily basis, rushing around, getting my children to
activities and sports and the frustration of too many things to accomplish in a day. I thought of
the countless evenings when my four children needed to do homework; in fact, it was almost
every single night since they each had started kindergarten! It’s incredible how much time was

52. 46
taken from our family in order to complete homework for four little children who would have
been much better off playing in our back yard. I desperately tried to keep things balanced and
was one of the few mothers who always allowed children to come over after school to play. I
knew that the time they had to play with their friends was of utmost importance and that years
pass quickly, and you only get to be a child once. I remember trying to tell my children that they
did not need to finish assignments if it was a stressful night. I would write a note and explain
things to the teacher. However, they always felt that they had to complete their work or they
would be embarrassed at school. I just about went crazy trying to manage my children’s
activities. I had four children born in five years, so they were like a little pack, with many
extracurricular activities all going on at the same time.
The daily stress of getting children up in the morning and getting to school on time,
afternoon activities that stretched until dinnertime; soccer, music lessons, and so on. Often sports
practices would go through the dinner hour and then homework—exhausting for all and hardly
any down time to just be. I remember thinking that somehow the world seemed to be conspiring
against the family. No longer was dinnertime a sacred event or weekends or even holidays, as
sports events and other activities were now scheduled at awkward times. Having multiple
children meant multiple activities. Although I realize that we could have chosen not to do the
activities, school took up an incredible amount of time as well. My children all had homework
starting in first grade! As time goes forward and children get into middle school and high school,
the pace continues to ramp up and suddenly it is all about where you are going to college.
The academic pressure is rampant everywhere. Our fast-paced and frantic culture
demands that students learn more at a faster rate than ever. Advanced Placement (AP) classes in
high school offer students college-level courses and exams where they can earn college credit